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- A school master holds a student by his hair and prepares to hit his backside with a twig broom. A donkey is drawn on the blackboard in the background., Text: A MODEL School Master you are, there’s no doubt, / Some put knowledge in, but you beat it all out; / With your lunatic whipping, your kicks and your thumps, / You can bring out an ape’s phrenological bumps; / And if you’re promoted to suit able schools, / It should be a college of asses and mules., Provenance: Helfand, William H..