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Goddess of the fries
A cook wearing a bonnet holds a pot on a stove. She has a long pointed nose. The Valentine suggests she is too ugly to find love., Text: Goddess of the fries and stews, / To court the male sex ‘tis no use; / Your nose I’m sure is only fit / To make a kitchen roasting spit; / Then cut your foolish ways, pray do, / I’ll ne’er have a Valentine like you., Signed: Pickering., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Oh! Thou Art
A woman with a hairy face and gap-toothed smile looks at her reflection in a mirror. The sender's parise is ironic., Text: Oh! Thou art my joy and my pride, / So delicate soft is thy skin: / Those blushes, my fair, never hide, / For fain I’d my Valentine win., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Pray Tell Me
A girl stands with her hands on her hips. Her face is covered in bandages. The valentine suggests the injuries might be self-inflicted., Text: Pray tell me, miss, how came you by them? / Are they cuts or scratches? / Or are they beauty-spots—good gracious! / All those awful patches?, "392", Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Thou languishing young lady bird
A young woman in a gown holds a bouquet of flowers., Text: Thou languishing young lady bird, / Thou angel quite untainted, / With ruby lips and well formed hips, / Pray tell me – are you painted! / You’re uglier than the Gorgon, / That hightoned folks to stone, / I little thought my darling, / Such a beauty you’d have grown., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Ugliest of the fair
A woman with a long nose holds a bonnet. Other millinery articles sit on a table behind her and a piar of scissors hangs from her waist., Text: Ugliest of the fair creation, / With lips that are not red but blue; / And face devoid of animation, / Take me for your lover true., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

You looking for
A woman with a grotesquely large nose holds a baby and is accompanied by a small boy. The text suggests that since her large nose and head repel any possible suitors, she must content herself with caring for these children., Text: You looking for a Valentine, whoever would suppose, / You'd ever get a Valentine with such a head and nose, / You'd best stick to the nursery, and the children dandle, / Such a head and nose serves well for a handle; / You've got two kids already, therefore contented be, / I assure you for a Valentine you never will kid me., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

You nasty, drunken,
A woman with exaggeratedly large lips sits with a screaming child on her knee. Both she and the child wear large feathered hats., Text: You nasty, drunken, stupid cat, / Likewise your frightful squalling brat, / Are both so ugly that 'tis vain / Your various features to explain! / Your lips are nothing else but good 'uns, / Exactly like two large black puddings; / Nature, you've no cause to thank it / For eyes like burnt holes in a blanket; / In short, devoid of bow or feather, / You are a beauty all together., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

You’re Awful Nice!
A woman wearing bloomers rides a bicycle. She has a wide grin and several missing teeth. The valentine mocks her good humor and compares her to monkeys and donkeys and plays on the word "asinine.", Text: Oh, dear, what a sweet little creature! / Who can deny that you shine? / There’s not face in the cage of the monkeys, / At the Zoo, can compare with thine; / And so bright you are! And so witty! / To list’ to your merry “tee-hee,”/ Makes one think of some happy young donkey / Indulging in asinine glee., Provenance: Helfand, William H..