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Bawling about the streets
A man carries a yoke with two buckets. One is labelled chalk and the other water. Milk means to take undue profit and the use of "cream" and "surface" suggest that the milkman is cheating his customers by adulterating his product so that it looks like milk., Text: Bawling about the streets you go, / With noisy cry of milk Be—low, / BE-LOW indeed the MILK must be, / We none upon the SURFACE see, / For it is plain you never fail / To milk the cow with the iron tail. / Of all the MILKMEN I have seen, / Of roguery you are the CREAM., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

The Butcher Boy.
A butcher with a moustache stands with cleaver in hand. Two cats hang from hooks under the words "Cats wanted.", Text: Go! slaughterer of stolen cats, / And shave the moustache from thy lip -- / Thy sausages are made from rats, / Thy cutlets worse than any chip, / Thy steaks defy the strongest jaws, / Thy mutton comes from aged rams, / Thy pork defies the sharpest saws, / And tainted are thy sugared hams. / Repent, ere yet it is too late, / Or you may butcher for the State., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Einer Durchschauten.
A woman's figure has two heads. One is smiling and says "My love to you, dear ," while the other has a forked tongue and says "Bad luck to the wretch." The text translates roughly to: "Cheers, Sir. Oh, how polite, to indulge us with the privilege of your presence, if I see the man I'd like to stick a pincer in his guts." The valentine suggests the recipient's words mask malicious intentions., Translation: "Cheers, Sir. Oh, how polite, to indulge us with the privilege of your presence, if I see the man I'd like to stick a pincer in his guts.", Text: Wohl bekomm’s mein Herr / Ach, wie artig, uns die Ehre / Ihres Besuches zu gönnen, / Wenn ich den Menschen sehe / Möcht icht eine glückende Zange / In seine Eingeweiden umkehren., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

I Love a Man
A man with a crocdile head holds a handkerchief to his teary eye. Two women are looking at him, one has her hands on her hips. The sender accuses the recipient of being insincere and deceitful., Text: I love a man that is sincere in all he’ll say and do, / But not a sniveling Crocodile, deceitful wretch like you / Who for any paltry end can always whine and cry, / You ugly, paltry, sniveling brute, deceit is in your eye. / You may whine and do your best at which we only laugh, / But let us tell you love’s too old to be thus caught by chaff., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Jeweler.
A jeweler sits at his bench, repairing a watch. On the wall behind him is a sign that says "Jeweler reparing done" and several clocks. The clocks' faces do not all show the same time., Text: A crowbar, or pickaxe, a more fitting tool / Would be in your hands, you ridiculous fool; / Can anyone be so stupidly green, / As to give you his watch, or his clock, to clean? / The chances are great that ‘twill need more repair, / Than before it had been put into your care., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Original, Should Be
A man stands behind a counter and measures leaves in a set of scales. He is wearing an apron and pointed shoes. Beneath the counter is a box marked sloe-leaves. The sender implies that the shopkeeper substitutes sloe leaves for tea., Text: Original, should be the word, / Genuine, is quite absurd, / For Ash and Sloe leaves sure must be, / At least a new invented Tea; / So Verdigris, I don’t incline, / To take you for a Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Original, Should Be
A man with a gap-toothed grin weighs leaves in a set of scales. The packet he holds in his hand is labelled "Imitation tea" and several other containers behind the counter are labeled "Dutch pink", "Tea Dust", and "Verdigrease". The valentine suggests the clerk cheats his customers., Text: Original, should be the word, / Genuine, is quite absurd, / For Ash and Sloe leaves sure must be, / At least a new invented Tea; / So Verdegris, I don’t incline, / To take you for a Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Poor Widow Wooding
A woman in a black dress sits at a table. She holds a handkerchief to her eyes and is crying. There is an open bottle and a glass on the table and "Gammon" is written on the wall behind her. Gammon means nonsense and suggests that her grief is insincere., Text: Poor widow wooding for the loss, / Of one you’ll ne’er forget / And yet the thought my mind will cross, / That you are TO BE LET. / But in you no charm I see, / And therefore frankly own, / That all the chance you have with me, / Is to be LET alone., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Prestipenditator.
A man wearing ice skates has multiple pairs of legs, which indicate that they are moving quickly. Four men observe him. "Monkey shines" means monkey-like antics., Text: Brisk as a flea, as lightning flashes, / Quickly you make grasshopper dashes-- / Hic, presto, change! Now here, now there; / We cannot find you anywhere-- / But know a fool is in the middle, / And thus I solve your icy riddle. / From those that cut up monkey shines, / We do not choose our Valentines., Cf. Valentine 8.36, Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Stands ther Poulterer
A poulterer stands behind a counter with a fowl in his hand and smiles. The valentine suggests that although he can be ingratiating, he is not trustworthy., Text: Stands the Poulterer pert and sly, / Madam, pray step in and buy; / Ah! Buy indeed, to buy and rue, / Would be to buy a goose like you; / Never, by cock and hen, I swear, / Shall you be mine, unpolished bear., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Tho’ in butter
A man stands behind a counter wearing an apron, with his hands in his pockets. On the other side of the conter another man holds upa set of balances and says "False, Sir.", Text: Tho’ in butter cheese, and such as these / You deal, your CONDUCT’s not the CHEESE / They say the buyer never fail / To find ‘gainst him you turn the scale. / By such tricks you rob the poor, / Untill the jury at your door, / Finds you out and prove too late, / We cannot trust a man of WEIGHT. / Measures not men’s a motto fine, / Then an honest! Thief shall ne’er be mine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

To a Bobby
A policeman in uniform holds a lantern in his hand. The valentine suggests that he takes advantage of the benefits of his position and shies away from the responsibilities., Text: If the right one’s a strong ‘un, / You collar the wrong ‘un, / It’s one of the tricks of the trade. / All the members / Of the force, / Have a watch / and chain, of course. /You’re the biggest fraud in the force, / and with your lantern in your hand, / You frighten all the kids / and rob every costers stand, /You sample the gin at the corners, / till your nose is as red as a beet, / And if they come down with the tanners, / you wink at the rascals who cheat, / You are after all the cookies, / like any love sick chick, / And when there’s a row a brewing / you scamper away mighty quick., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

To a Shopkeeper.
A shopkeeper stands behind a counter with his hands in his pockets. Across the counter a customer observes the scales and says "False, sir." The valentine accuses the recipient of cheating his customers., Text: You call yourself a business man, / But you cheat the public when you can, / In all your goods, short weight you give, / And rob the poor, yourself to live., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

With a fine hat
A woman wears a large hoop skirt, a cape, and a feathered hat, and carries a parasol and small bag. The sender suggests that such attention to appearances will not make up for the recipient's personal defects., Text: With a fine hat and painted face, / Leading a life of gay disgrace, / Don’t think that wearing such a hat, / Will aid you to catch a flat, / Your false hair is nicely braided, / Your infamy well paraded., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.