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I do not wish
A woman smiles at a boy playing with a hoop and stick. The valentine chides her for flirting inappropriately at and advanced age., Text: I do not wish your feelings, ma’ma to hurt, / But for one old and ugly still to flirt, / And leer and giggle on each man you meet, / To say the least is not at all discreet., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

I know my girl
A women in a revealing dress is sitting on the lap of a uniformed soldier. The texts implies she is promiscuous., Text: I know my girl you’d like to be / Thus seated on a soldier’s knee, / Void of sense and void of shame, / Playing at many a wanton game; / When his knee you sit upon, / Perhaps like this you try it on ; / Trying how his things will fit, / And sure to PUT YOUR FOOT IN IT., "85", Provenance: Helfand, William H..

I Love a Man
A man with a crocdile head holds a handkerchief to his teary eye. Two women are looking at him, one has her hands on her hips. The sender accuses the recipient of being insincere and deceitful., Text: I love a man that is sincere in all he’ll say and do, / But not a sniveling Crocodile, deceitful wretch like you / Who for any paltry end can always whine and cry, / You ugly, paltry, sniveling brute, deceit is in your eye. / You may whine and do your best at which we only laugh, / But let us tell you love’s too old to be thus caught by chaff., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

I send you
A woman in a bulky coat stands with her hands in her pockets. The sender suggests the sketch presents a a true and less flattering likeness, which ought to correct the recipient's conceited attitude., Text: I send you my dearest a sketch of your Phiz, / Just look in the glass and you’ll find it, / ‘Tis so true you’ll admit ‘tis not meant for a Quiz, / It may cure your conceit, so pray mind it., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

I vow to me
A Bricklayer wearing a smock and paper hat stands beside a wall and holds a trowel., Text: I vow to me it would be torture / To wed with one besmear’d with mortar; / In blessed singleness I’ll pine, / Rather than be your Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

If My Passion
A woman carrying a parasol walkes by an enclosed garden. She is holding the front of her skirt up to reveal lacy undergarment beneath it., Text: If my passion I ever declare, / Your heart I should like to possess; / But alas! You’ve so little to spare, / All being devoted to dress., Cf. Valentines 15.13, 15.14, 15.15., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

If My Passion
A woman wearing a flowered bonnet holds a fold of her dress in her hand. Her shoes, undergarments and crinoline are visible below her dress., Text: If my passion I ever declare, / Your heart I should like to possess; / But alas! You’ve so little to spare, / All being devoted to dress., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

If My Passion
A woman with an elaborate hairstyle carries a parasol. In the other hand, she holds her voluminous skirt. Her petticoat and the tassles on her boots are visible beneath her skirt., Text: If my passion I ever declare, / Your heart I should like to possess; / But alas! You’ve so little to spare, / All being devoted to dress., Cf. Valentines 15.13, 15.14, 15.16., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

If My Passion
An elaborately dressed woman holds the folds of her skirt. Her shoes and crinoline are visible beneath the skirt., Text: If my passion I ever declare, / Your heart I should like to possess; / But alas! You’ve so little to spare, / All being devoted to dress., Cf. Valentines 15.13, 15.15, 15.16., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Ill looking, ill conditioned
A man holding a piece of rope stands over a woman with a black eye who is kneeling on the floor. On the wall behind them is a clock with a disapproving face. The sender criticizes the recipient's brutish behavior in beating his wife and suggests that many of the neighbors share his opinion., Text: Ill looking, ill conditioned Brute, / What punishment your crime will suit, / That coward from I’d naked strip, / And put in each neighbour’s hand a whip / To hunt you as they would a beast, / From North to South, From West to East, / Until you knelt at spousy’s feet, / Humbly for pardon to entreat., "199", Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Innocent A MEWS MEANT.
Two cats are on a tiled roof. One has a woman's head. Behind the roof is a man with a face. "To go upon the tiles" means to embark on a drinking or sexual adventure. The valentine accuses the woman of indulging her passions in excess., Text: You love to go upon the Tiles, / To exercise your wanton wiles; / Nowhere will you find your match / In coming up unto the SCRATCH., "No. 141", Provenance: Helfand, Wiliam H..

It's evident
The angry woman beats her philandering lover with a broom as he lies across her lap. A speech balloon by her head reads " HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH THE SERVANT?" as he cries, "Oh! Oh!", Text: It’s evident, my angry fair, / Whate’er your wrongs, How much you (bare) bear; / Tho’ I would rather not be sharing / My lot with one who’s so for bareing; / Such wives as thee who ever’s got ‘em, / Will find they’re very bad at BOTTOM! / So I for my part would decline. / Such a very STRIKING Valentine., Cf. Valentines 1.19, 1.20., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

It's Time You Were Married.
An older woman stands with her hands over her heart. The bottom of her dress is shaped like an upside down heart and has the words "To Let" on it. Next to her is a sign that says "A heart wanted." A Hoosier is a resident of the state of Indiana., Text: You’re forty, if you are a day, / And yet no husband comes your way. / It is too bad that such a face / Should live alone in such a place. /Take in your sign, and get thee West,-- / There aged maidens thrive the best. / For Hoosiers, when they seek a pal, / Are all content if she’s a gal., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

A jeweler sits at his bench, repairing a watch. On the wall behind him is a sign that says "Jeweler reparing done" and several clocks. The clocks' faces do not all show the same time., Text: A crowbar, or pickaxe, a more fitting tool / Would be in your hands, you ridiculous fool; / Can anyone be so stupidly green, / As to give you his watch, or his clock, to clean? / The chances are great that ‘twill need more repair, / Than before it had been put into your care., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

A Jumping-Jack
A man has the form of a jumping-jack toy. The valentine suggests the recipient is good for little else than to watch others., Text: A Jumping-Jack upon a pole / Would be for you a fitting role: / Some one ought to take and fix you / On a rod this way, you stick, you! / Then you’d have your proper station, / One you’d fill to admiration., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Just A Little Flattered
A man stands in front of a fence smoking a cigar. He wears a fez and a pocket watch. The valentine suggests he is overly impressed with his physical appearance., Text: Why, here’s your portrait ready done, / Now don’t suppose I’m making fun. / ‘Tis like as like you must admit; / I’m sure you’ll highly value it., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Kissed the Minister
A tall woman is kissing a short, moustached man. Behind her on a table are a bokk markeds "Hymns" and another marked "Bible". The valentine asserts that this is not the first time the woman has kissed a minister and that when his wife heard about it before, she tore out the woman's hair, which is why she wears a wig. The valentine cautions that if she repeats this behavior, she can expect to lose this wig as well., Text: Don’t look so pious, madam, / We’ve heard of you before, / You kissed the little minister / Behind his study door; / And when his wife heard of it, / The row ensued was big, / And that is how you came to wear / That little curled-up wig. Now pray be careful what you do, / Or you will lose your nice wig too., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Leering, drunken, dissipated
A bricklayer with a hod on his shoulder is mounting a ladder. The valentine warns the recipient that his concumption of alcohol is interfering with his job. It plays on the word "drop" as a synonym for liquour, then to refer to the possibility that he might fall from his ladder under the influence of alchohol and finally that his drunken ways may get him into trouble with the law and then be hanged., Text: Leering, drunken, dissipated, / Oft I see you elevated, / Not alone upon the ladder, / But in a way that is much sadder, / Your fondness for a “DROP” is such / That you may get a DROP too much / By falling from the ladder top, / Or at the gallows “take a drop.” / A fate that doubtless will be thine, / So, go, be hanged! my Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Like the Lamp
A lamplighter mounts a ladder to light a street lamp. A hand tugs on his shirt, which is protruding from the seat of his pants."To get one's shirt out" means to get angry., Text: Like the Lamp you tend, ‘tis said, / You’re rather LIGHT about the HEAD, / One thing certain is that most / Don’t know which is the greatest Post, / Now don’t be angry that I flout, / For I see your SHIRT IS GETTING OUT., Provenance: Helfand, William H..

Look Dandy, pray
A donkey wears a coat. The sender considers the recipient's attention to dress to be ridiculous., Text: Look Dandy, pray look, / Look at your Brother; / Why should not one Ass, / Look at another., Provenance: Helfand, William H..