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Disappointed Woman.
A woman frowns and has a thin, wrinkled face. She wears a gown with a full skirt with furbelows and a very thin waistline. She sits on a sofa and rest her face on her hand; the object near her face is possibly a handkerchief. The valentine suggests that the recipient expected matrimony, but was disappointed., Text: Counting chickens ere their hatching / You found fatal to your matching; / Disappointed, now you linger, / Scored by Time's unsparing finger., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Do you think, you ugly man.
The valentine depicts a man with a dog's head. He wears boxing gloves labeled "insant death" and "six months illness.". He also wears a monocle and a top hat, which suggest that he is a "puppy," or dandy. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Do you think you ugly man, / Because you're like a black-and-tan, / And a hitter from the shoulder-joint likewise, / That on you the blooming girls, / With their fascinating curls, / Will glance with approbation in their eyes / If you do you're much mistaken, / For it's just as sure as bacon / No fighter can a woman's true love win, / But the soldier-boy whose blows / Fall on his country's foes / When the ring is pitched, the battle-field within., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

The Doctor.
The doctor stands in profile, holding a bottle labeled "mercury." He wears a top hat, trousers, and a coat with tails, and a large syringe hangs from his trousers., Text: All sickness and ills, you say, you can cure / By your all-healing garble and pill; / You relieve them from pain : of this I'm quite sure; / For, if you can't cure, you can kill., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Doctor.
"Dr. Bleedems Office" appears on a sign behind the doctor, who stands holding a three-pronged knife in one hand and a saw in the other. The valentine mocks doctors who use unnecessary procedures to make money., Text: With probe, and saw, and lancet, / With plasters, purges and pukes, / You cut your way to favor / With duchesses and dukes; / But, you may saw into a fortune, / And probe into a mine, / Before I'd see in your ugly phiz / Anything worth this Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Dodging the Draft.
A man wears battle armor made of household objects. He wears a pot as a helmet, brush bristles for epaulets, a lid for a breast plate, and red cannisters over his arms. He carries a broom and a poker from a fire place. Over his pants, he wears crinoline. The valentine satirizes draft dodgers as ridiculous and effeminate., Text: You boast of valor, pluck and grit, / And strong love of the Union -- / You're just the boy to dodge the draft, / And fir for a sneak's communion. / All decent girls view you with scorn, / And treat you with contempt; / When noble men are called for, / You're just fit to be exempt!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Don't strike and thump him, baby Dick.
The valentine shows a tall, thin man kneeling as he holds a baby. He prepares food on a spider pan over a candle. The valentine suggests that the man is weak and child-like, and his wife is an abuser of both him and the baby., Text: Don't strike and thump him, baby Dick, / Leave 'ma to hit him many a lick; / 'Tis her he fears, not you, who squall, / He trembles so, he'll let you fall -- / Poor, shivering, nussing skeleton, / With cuffs for teaching, when he's done., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Dress Maker.
The valentine shows a woman sewing a dress. Both the woman's dress and the one she sews have red bodices and yellow skirts, but the one she sews has a lower neckline and shorter sleeves. The sender mocks the recipient for her status as a single woman., Text: My ugly old maid, how sad is your lot, / To work on some fine wedding gown, / And know all the while, live as long as you may, / You'll never have one of your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Dress Maker.
The dress maker wears the paper forms used to make a dress pattern. Her sleeves say "sleeve latest style" and "sleeve pattern." The dress bodice says "body pattern front" and "saque front pattern," and the skirt says "le mode de paris," and "cored skirt pattern." She stands in front of a store window that reads "Madame Slasher from Paris. Dress maker/ Parisian fits." Hickory shirts were worn by workers, and the valentine uses provincialisms to mock the dressmaker's pretensions., Text: Be jabers, its a useful insitution that ye are, / Wid yer 'gores," an' "waists," an' "boddice, an' skirts / An' if I had a few dirt paper collars to spare, / I'd try ye wid a dozen of good hickory shirts. / Do you stick up your nose at the shirts? Bellamalee. / Jist the thing! I'm after a lady so mighty fine / She'll be one thing to the public but another to me, / And won't I be illigant as her own Valentine!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Dress Maker.
The valentine shows a female figure whose neck and torso are a cabbage. Cabbage refers to the material leftover from making a garment. The valentine suggests that dressmakers steal it to make their own clothing., Text: Of all our modern goddesses / None greater is than she; / Who o'er the robes and boddices / Rules arbitrarily., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Dry Good Clerk.
The valentine depicts a dry goods clerk standing behind a counter. A much smaller woman faces him. A pair of gloves and bolt of fabric are on the counter. "Tin" is slang for money, and the sender mocks the recipient's financial status, suggesting that he would have to steal from the till to have enough money for a proper Valentine offering., Text: Just brains enough to measure tape, / And base enough to lie; / You're born to measure calico, / And leer in Woman's eye. / But when I want a Valentine, / I'll call and let you know, / That you may steal enough of "tin," / To make a proper show., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Dry Good Clerk.
The valentine shows a woman and a man facing each other across a counter. He holds out a yellow piece of fabric for her to examine., Text: Sir Foppleton Frisk of folded shreds, / Silks, Satins, Laces, Cottons, Threads, / How oft I say "oh! did I ever," / My heart breathes quickly "No I never.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Dutch Woman.
The valentine shows a large smiling woman holding a tankard of lager beer and a pretzel. The verse mocks Pennsylvania Deutsch (i.e., Pennsylvania German) women and their accents., Text: Mein leben schotze, I loaf you so, / So much as dat you never know; / Mit you I could be happy here, / Mit pretzels, you, und lager bier., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Dying for a Husband.
The valentine depicts a wrinkled woman sitting in front of a mirror. In front of her is a bottled labeled "hair dye." The valentine mocks older single women who dye their hair and portrays them as desperate for matrimony., Text: Now Time has stolen all your charms, / (If any existed not sure am I,) / To win a husband to your arms / Your only resource now to dye., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Elephant on Skates.
The valentine shows an elephant ice skating (and smoking). He wears a blue jacket and green pants and carries a walking stick. The sender rejects the recipient because of his weight., Text: I've heard fat men singing, / I'm told of their swimming, / I've seen them in various states -- / I've known of their dancing, / And ogling and glancing, / But ne'er have I seen one on skates. / I always am laughing, / When fat men I'm chaffing, / Who think that it will be my fate -- / It sets me tee-heeing, / A Valentine being, / To an elephant trying to skate., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

The End of Old Maids.
The valentine shows the Devil holding a pitchfork with a woman on the top over a fire. The devil has hairy legs, cloven feet, and four points on his head. The valentine suggests that the "old maid" is damned for failing to marry and procreate., Text: Oh! what a very sorry sight it is, / To see an aged lady still a Miss, / To know that single she must live and work, / And in the end be toasted on a fork., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Engineer.
A man clings to a steam train's chimney with a frowning human face. Another man holds a flag in the background. The valentine possibly comments on sexual ethics., Text: Over the break-necks fiendlike plunging, / Car'less what ill you may entail, / If you're not cautious with your engine, / We'll ride you on another rail!, Cf. 3.37., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Engineer.
A man clings to a steam train's chimney with a frowning human face. Another man holds a flag in the background. The valentine possibly comments on sexual ethics., Text: Over the break-necks fiendlike plunging, / Car'less what ill you may entail, / If you are not cautious with your engine, / We'll ride you on ANOTHER RAIL!, Cf. 3.36., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

An Envious Woman.
A woman wears a gown with a red bodice and yellow skirt with furbelows. She holds up her hand and points her finger. The valentine criticizes the woman for her mean-spirited envy of others., Text: Who cannot look pleased at her neighbor's good, / But devours in secret the bitter food / That lean-faced detraction spreads on her board, / Will be marked out herself to be abhor'd!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Expectant Damsel.
A woman wears a plaid gown with a low neckline that reveals her breasts. Her crinoline billows up, revealing her petticoat. She pulls back a yellow blanket, possibly before getting into bed. The text suggests that she is sexually promiscuous., Text: You shall not sigh your hours away, / For you're the gayest of the gay; / You love the concert and the dance, / Life's pleasures they so much enhance. / Full many a stricken, ardent beau, / Has oft' pronounced that you're not slow, / You do the warmth of love excite, / And charm me with hope of fond delight., Cf. Valentine 5.41., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Express-Man.
A man is seated in a cart pulled by a running horse. Two ships are in the background, one with a steam engine, and one with masts and sails. The valentine implies that the recipient presses the sender to engage in premarital sex. The sender rejects him because she does not believe he will marry her., Text: G'lang ole hoss -- high up, my spunky one! / Show 'em you'll do it -- can't you, though -- get on! / Allow me, sir, to interrupt you, -- do: / And, as you are, I will be EXPRESS, too; / I can't be pressed to favor your address, / And trust you'll make your pressing suit EX-PRESS., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

The Exquisite.
A man on ice skates has long mutton chops and holds a walking stick, suggesting that he is a dandy. The valentine encourages enlistment in the Union army and mocks the recipient's unmanly interest in dress and ice skating., Text: Faint-hearted youth! you talk of skating, / And call the sport quite animating; / You say there's nothing half so bracing; / There's naught the manly form so gracing, / As through the icy maze to twine. / But hark! your country's voice is calling, / Treason all her hopes is thralling; / 'Tis manlier games men now delight in, / For God and Liberty they're fighting; / From these I'll seek my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

The Extravagant Woman.
A woman sits in front of a counter with bolts of fabric on it. She wears a bonnet, shawl, and dress with furbelows. A clerk holds up fabric behind the counter. The valentine urges the woman to restrain her spending., Text: Vain, prodigal woman, in jewels and dress, / Your delight is your money to spend, / But remember this, though your purse may be long, / It sometime must come to an end., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

A Faded Flower.
A frowning woman wears a yellow gown and holds a small parasol., Text: Full many a fair flower, not half so fair as you, / Has been plucked in early springtime, when fresh with morning's dew, / And you alone, neglected, have been carelessly passed by, / And now, when old and faded, you are left to droop and die., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

A Fancy Soldier.
A man in a green and red uniform looks into a tube, possibly a gun or cannon. He holds a monocle over his eye, carries a walking stick, and has long hair, suggesting that he is a dandy. The sender criticizes the recipient for posing as a soldier and suggests that he is effeminate., Text: Your swashing gate and vacant stare, / Pleased fools in times of peace, / But since afraid to go to war, / Put off the duds and cease., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Farmer.
A farmer gives grain to a small bird. He has moles and errant facial hairs. The valentine puns on the meanings of green and implies that the recipient is inexperienced and a bad farmer., Text: A farmer's life's the life for me, / A farmer's lad I mean to be; / So sweet to go, at early morn, / And give the little chicks their corn; / To milk the pigs, and shear the cows, / And see the 'punkins' on the boughs; / To gaze on all the lovely scene, / And be, just like the landscape, green., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

A Farmer's Wife.
The farmer's wife stands next to a large pig. A butter churn is behind her. The valentine mocks her for being overweight., Text: A charming life is a farmer's life; / And ain't you in luck to be his wife? / He feeds and fats you just like his pig, / And loves as much when you're twice as big., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

The Fast Man.
A man driving a carriage and says, " Don't I feel nobby now I keeps my own carriage?" "Nobby" is slang for smart or elegant., Text: They say you feel so proud of heart, / Because you keep a donkey cart; / One thing tho' you should bear in mind, / "Fellow feeling makes us kind," / Therefore you sometimes might change places / With the Donkey in the traces., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Fat, Ugly, and Lazy.
The valentine shows an overweight woman with ringlet curls. Her gown is low cut., Text: "Fat, fair and forty," I have heard / As terms of half praise; on my word / I could not say the same of you, / Fat, ugly, lazy, is too true., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Fee! Faw!! Fum!!!
A Union soldier's head is shaped like a bomb, and his mouth is a smoking fuse. He stands next to a cannon. The title references the fairytale Jack and the beanstalk. The valentine mocks the soldier for his unappealing bad temper., Text: Who'd marry a man with a head like a bomb, / And a mouth with a smoking fusee? / What woman with him her life would trust, / For his head might at any moment burst, / And then, where would she be?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Female Snake in the Grass.
The woman has a snake's body and a pointed tongue., Text: Deceitful reptile! vain thy every art-- / To captivate my eye, or charm my heart; / For even change your skin, you'd be, at last, / Nought but what now you are-- a snake in the grass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

"Finished" Boarding-School Miss.
A young, fashionably dressed woman stands in front of a sign that reads "Lisping grammar" and "Geography of dancing." Her hair is curled, and she curtsies, revealing her crossed feet, crinoline, and petticoat hem. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches." The valentine associates the girl with France and mocks her impractical education., Text: In the language of France, / And its dress, and its dance, / I presume you are quite proficient; / But I doubt that, my dear, / You the oven could clear / When the time came for putting a dish in 't., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Fireman.
The valentine shows a fireman running. He wears a large hat and blows a fire trumpet. The valentine mocks the recipient's inability to get a Valentine., Text: There you go --- now aint it fine/ To halloo after our ENGINE? / How can you, my boy, be steady, / When to run to fires--- so ready? / You think you cut a mighty shine, / And yet can't get --- a Valentine!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Fireman.
The valentine shows a fireman straddling a firehose. He smokes a cigar. The sender mocks the recipient's womanizing, drinking, and fixation on fire fighting, and urges him to settle down. "Mose" is the name of the fireman in Benjamin Baker's play New York as it is., Text: Mose loves nothing so well as a fire, / Except it be women and wine; / If I love Mose it is with a desire / To make Mose open his eyes and eye her / Who loves nothing so well as a VALENTINE., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Baker, Benjamin A., 1818-1890. New york as it is.

A Fireman.
The fireman blows a fire trumpet and wears parade dress. His hand is in a bucket from which a hose extends. The valentine mocks his rowdy behavior., Text: A fuller fledged rowdy, sure, never was seen, / Than you as you dash along with "der masheen;" / You hoot, and you howl, you shout, and you bellow / I'm sure I never saw so horrid a fellow., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Fireman.
A fireman pulls a running hose towards him and fails to turn it towards the fire behind him. The valentine uses slang and provinicialisms to mock the fireman and suggest that he will not attract any women., Text: Oh! what a "gallus" Fireman, / To run "wid der Machine; " / To "take de butt," or pick a muss / None better e'er was seen, / But do not think a decent girl / As a "Lize" would wish to shine : / Or be unto a Loafer! / A loving Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

The Flirt.
A smirking woman holding a small purse waves a handkerchief over her shoulder. The valentine suggests that a woman who flirts with many men will be a bad wife., Text: You're like a fair young rose bush, / Where each beau plucks a rose, / 'Till nought but thorns are left behind, / To prove the husband's woes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Flower of Your Sex.
A large-nosed woman wears a large gown with petal-like furbelows. She holds a nosegay and walks a small dog., Text: The flower of your sex; O! yes indeed! / A flower already gone to seed, / And yet I will be prompt to say, / That you display a real nosegay., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Folks do say, my little drummer,
A Union military drummer carries a rucksack and a large snare drum on his side. The valentine criticizes the soldier's bad behavior before the war., Text: Folks do say, my little drummer, / That once you were a perfect bummer; / Made your living gathering junk, / And spent your money getting drunk. / If this be so, young friend of mine, / You'll never make a Valentine., "509", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

The Fop.
The fop wears a large, triangular frock coat, top hat, gloves, and thin trousers. His hair is curled, and he carries a switch cane., Text: A shining black hat, and glossy shirt collar, / A coat, pants and vest of cut most divine, / A little switch cane, you really would make for / Your tailor, a beautiful traveling sign., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

Forsaken Woman.
A woman cries and sits with her elbows on a table. The final line of the text is a popular saying., Text: Why so pensive, dear? wipe those tears from thy eyes, / Throw care to the winds, and look gay, as you ought; / Remember this motto, that there is, my dear, / "As good fish in the sea, as ever was caught.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.

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