A woman stands next to her bed and holds up a blanket. Her low-cut gown reveals part of her breasts, and her crinoline tilts back to reveal her petticoats. The sender rejects the recipient, and the valentine connects lazy women with immodesty., Text: Crawling out at ten o'clock, / Hurry girl, put on your frock / You're a sleepy head I see, / So you'll never do for me., Cf. Valentine 3.39., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A ice skating woman with her legs turned in flails her arms to regain her balance. Her skirt billows up to reveal her legs. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Though puggy of nose and void of grace, / Lanky of limb -- in feature wan; / The thought with each must have a place, / That something you are like the swan. / Ask not of me the reason why, / 'Tis breathed upon the chilly wind; / 'Tis echo'd by the skater's cry, / "A Swan! see, down on her behind!", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman points her nose up and holds a small parasol. The valentine mocks the recipient for being a social climber., Text: Just as a mushroom from a bed / Of marshy vileness rears its head, / Distilling poison to the touch, / So you appear, and worth as much., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman has a large, heart-shaped torso labelled "Poor man's plaster," "fly blister," and "mustard." She holds a bottle marked "Soothing syrup." The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: Ever crying, dying, sighing, / O'er affections trifled with, / Here's a nostrum worth your trying, / It is one containing pith. / Pour a pint of Bourbon whisky / O'rr your lacerated heart, / If it doesn't make you frisky / Certainly 't will make you Smart!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line quotes from Charles Carroll Sawyer's sentimental Civil War ballad, "When this cruel war is over." The valentine shows a Union soldier lighting his cigarette from a bomb as bombs fly in the background behind him. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: "When this cruel war is over," And our noble Volunteers / home return to live in clover / Shan't we have good times, my dears? Honor to the heroes, who by / Their brave deeds us captivate, / Thank of all the kisses ruby / That upon their coming wait!, Variant of 2.9 and 2.10., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Sawyer, Charles Carroll, b. 1833. When this cruel war is over.
A man wears a jacket with "USA" printed on it. He stands in front of a gravestone. Another man sits at a table with a glass and decanter on it., Text: That Northern man that so much honor lacks / That he would stab his brethren in their backs, / Is worse by far than he who boldly fights / Against his country, e'en for fancied rights., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands next to a lamppost. He has dirt on his face and shirt., Text: You are perfectly disgusting with paltry dirty ways, / You skulk about the house, and along the highways, / You are a sloven and a slouch, a lible on the race, / You've a ragged suit of clothes, and a dirt, dingy face., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a dry goods clerk standing behind a counter. A much smaller woman faces him. A pair of gloves and bolt of fabric are on the counter. "Tin" is slang for money, and the sender mocks the recipient's financial status, suggesting that he would have to steal from the till to have enough money for a proper Valentine offering., Text: Just brains enough to measure tape, / And base enough to lie; / You're born to measure calico, / And leer in Woman's eye. / But when I want a Valentine, / I'll call and let you know, / That you may steal enough of "tin," / To make a proper show., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman sewing a dress. Both the woman's dress and the one she sews have red bodices and yellow skirts, but the one she sews has a lower neckline and shorter sleeves. The sender mocks the recipient for her status as a single woman., Text: My ugly old maid, how sad is your lot, / To work on some fine wedding gown, / And know all the while, live as long as you may, / You'll never have one of your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man with a waxed moustache, glasses, and a top hat. He stands in front of a man and woman. The valentine mocks the lounger for his unattractive idleness, superficial criticism of others, and transparent attempts to be near women., Text: Lounger! ambling 'round the places / Where the ladies congregate, / Critic of their forms and faces; / By them despised, you silly pate., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Proclamation is an advertisement for R. Magee's valentines and consists of the text. Inscribed: Apl 1872., Text: PROCLMATION! /RICHARD MAGEE, /No. 316 Chestnut St. / REMEMBER 316 CHESTNUT STREET / Call at the Headquarters Neat, / Of R. MAGEE, on Chestnut Street, / And purchase there, at Love's High Court, / Valentines of every Sort; / Valentines all Hearts to Move, / Valentines on happy Love; / Valentines of every Hue, / Valentines all Fresh and New; / Valentines for Friends who Roam, / Valentines for Friends at Home; / Valentines with Pictures Rare, / To please the Men and Charm the Fair; / Valentines on Fashion, Queer, / Valentines all Hearts to Cheer; / Valentines of each Device, / Valentines at every Price; / Valentines both Small and Large, / And directed Free of Charge. / All of which, quick, Call and See, / At the Famed Store of R. MAGEE. / [Signed.] CUPID. / Valentines at all Prices, Valentines Direct, / Valentines Delivered Free of Charge, / At R. MAGGE'S 316 Chestnut Street., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The crusty fellow of the valentine stands facing a flight of stairs. He holds an umbrella and wears a hat. He grimaces and has large, pointed features., Text: You're always full of dumps and vapors, / And playing off your crabbed capers; / I'd die a maiden old and fusty, / Ere I would wed a man so crusty., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows two men. One reclines with his mouth open, and the other stands above him about to pull a tooth out. Both men have disheveled hair and pained expressions., Text: A Dentist here makes teeth of bone / For those whom Fate has left without; / And finds provision for his own / By pulling other people's out., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows two fashionable women holding hands. They wear gowns and have upturned noses. The valentine condemns the women for their slander, gossip, and spleen [i.e., their ill temper]., Text: Envenomed, tattling, mischievous souls, / Whose breath with slander onward rolls, / Your tongues keep going like a bell, / But never knew the truth to tell. / The purer the mark, the bolder your attack, / And always deceitful behind one's back; / On all you vent your spleen and ire, / Your home should be "the place of fire.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A thin man has a crane's head. He wears a blue jacket and cravat. He carries a large red syringe and has a medicine bottle in his pocket., Text: Mr. Pill with a very long Bill, / If my soldier laddie gets hurt, / If you don't cure him quick, I will tell you right slick, / You are brother-in-law to your Squirt., Variant of 2.39., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A sailor stands on deck next to a cannon. He smokes a pipe and wears a sailor's uniform. He has gray hair and wrinkles., Text: Oh, sailor boy, dost e'er feel blue, / When thou art left without a chew? / When angrily billows 'round thee play, / And you eat salt junk every day, / And when you spit your juice about, / Does't ever strick thee thou'rt "played out?", "528", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows an image of a small child in a pink frock with a yellow collar crying with its hands clenched., Text: Pray dry your eyes my pretty child, / Be cheerful and then maybe, / Next time I pass this way I'll bring, / Some candy for the Baby., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman has a snake's body and a pointed tongue., Text: Deceitful reptile! vain thy every art-- / To captivate my eye, or charm my heart; / For even change your skin, you'd be, at last, / Nought but what now you are-- a snake in the grass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a fireman running. He wears a large hat and blows a fire trumpet. The valentine mocks the recipient's inability to get a Valentine., Text: There you go --- now aint it fine/ To halloo after our ENGINE? / How can you, my boy, be steady, / When to run to fires--- so ready? / You think you cut a mighty shine, / And yet can't get --- a Valentine!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in sleeping clothes stands next to a child seated in a chair. His wife sleeps in the bed behind them. "Gaby" means "simpleton.", Text: You, poor molly-coddling spooney fool, / This is a picture true to life: / Showing you in your shirt, so cool / With your baby, while calmly sleeps / your wife. / But you are just served right in that; / The only one we pity, is the blessed baby; / And if I was your wife, -- I tell you flat: / You would get something worse, you / stupid gaby., Cf. Valentine 13.43., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A simian nurse sits in a chair next to a baby in a craddle. A bottle marked "laudinum" [i.e. laudanum] is on the shelf above her, and she threads a needle. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Hush-a-by, baby! / Your slumbers be light, / With laudanum, maybe, / You're not on a "tight.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The snob, or shoemaker, sews the leather upper to the sole of the shoe. The valentine mocks his appearance, drinking, and courtship of unobtainable women., Text: Now, Mr. Snobby, when next you're at work, / At hammering a sole on your lap, / For the sake of the woman who'd ever have you, / Just commit suicide with your strap. / Oh! wax'd ends and leather! tho' what do I see, / Getting toddy'd wherever you can; / Both stupid and lazy, and shabbily dress'd, / I believe that he thinks he's a man., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears rustic attire and a wide-brimmed hat. He holds a long walking stick and stands next to a fence. The figure's posture, expression, and facial features are androgynous, and the valentine associates being "lovesick" with effeminancy., Text: Cease your sighing day and night, / Moping like a lovesick dove, / Go 'list, and serve the Right, / And prove yourself worthy of my love., Signed: Green., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Green.
A Union military drummer carries a rucksack and a large snare drum on his side. The valentine criticizes the soldier's bad behavior before the war., Text: Folks do say, my little drummer, / That once you were a perfect bummer; / Made your living gathering junk, / And spent your money getting drunk. / If this be so, young friend of mine, / You'll never make a Valentine., "509", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man plays a large fiddle. "Catgut" means a thick cord made from sheep intestines used for violin strings. The valentine criticizes the fiddler for disrespecting women., Text: I'm a single Musician, / I fiddle with glee, / And think all the fair sex / Mere fiddle-de-dee., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits at a table and drinks rum through a straw. A bartender stands at a bar in the background. "Sucker" refers to both an excessive drinker and an easily cheated person., Text: A sucker, when you were young, / A sucker, when older you've grown; / And thus, in good sooth, is plain for to see / No matter, how old, a sucker you'll be., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a man crouching down with his hand near his face. His shadow resembles a monkey. The text references the theory of evolution presented by Charles Darwin in his On the origin of species (1859)., Text: It is believed some men among, / That all us folks from monkey sprung, / But until first I saw your face, / I did not think such was the case, / Yet then I thought it might be true-- / That is, my friend, regarding you., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Magnus, Charles.
A soldier smokes a pipe. He holds a gun and rucksack. The valentine mocks his appearance and unwarrented vanity. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You don't look handsome in your regimentals, / Although your doubtless think you're very fine. / You'll ne'er belong unto the sentimentals, / And ne'er can hope to be my valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The nincompoop smiles, holds a ball, and plays a whistle. His eyes are crossed, his knees turn in, and his ears are elfin., Text: Now, really, my kind sir, d'ye think I'd stoop / To have a man who's such a nincompoop? / 'Twere better far if single I'd remain, / Than wed a man who had so little brain., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a sword in his hand. His hat is decorated with two figures. Behind him is a dead body with detached legs., Text: O thou, man of fame and slaughter, You cannot have my mother's daughter; / You are the man, I most could bet, That went away from poor Jeanette. / What's the use of that long sword to you? Void of courage to run an enemy through, / Or even a bull-frog to attack a rush, Thou art no soldier, but a man of mush., Cf. Valentine 10.15., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows the head and neck of a woman. "Pizen" is dialect for poison and, by extension, cheap liquor., Text: Sooner than marry you my dear / I'd drink "Pizen" by the bowlful / Because I'd always have the blues / If I'd a wife so Doleful., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man kneels holding a shoe, and a woman's foot is on a stool, with skirt thrown back revealing her leg. The man says "How high would you like it Miss." The valentine criticizes the inappropriate physical contact between shoe dealers and their female customers., Text: Let me teach you, foolish gaby, / When you wait upon a Lady, / Not to foolish jokes intrude, / Such conduct to a Lady's rude., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A young man wears a stove-pipe hat, red jacket, and boots, marking him as a Bowery B'hoy, or young working class man from the Five Points neighborhood in New York City. He stands in front of another male figure who smokes a pipe and wears a stove-pipe hat. "Get the bag" means to be fired., Text: Each swollen eye, each dirty rag, / Of brawls and battles tell us; / You seek my heart -- you'll get the bag, / And won't get nothing else., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman cries and sits with her elbows on a table. The final line of the text is a popular saying., Text: Why so pensive, dear? wipe those tears from thy eyes, / Throw care to the winds, and look gay, as you ought; / Remember this motto, that there is, my dear, / "As good fish in the sea, as ever was caught.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier kneeling next to a cooking pot eats from a bowl., Text: Oh! How I love the volunteer, / Who eats his soup with conscience clear; / Who never runs-- except for meals; / who ne'er the pangs of hunger feels-- /And believes in fighting there's no good, / Unless his belly's full of food. / See him; beside that iron pot; / He longs for me to shar his let, / And I, alas, can not go., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A frowning woman casts a shadow that resembles the Devil., Text: No meek exterior shall hide / The Pharisaic soul of pride: / Hypocrite -- turn thine eyes within, / Nor longer look abroad for sin., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union officer stands at a bar and holds a large tankard of beer. The valentine criticizes military recruiters who get men drunk so that they will enlist., Text: You're not a fascinating creature, / Either in manners, form or feature, / Neither your own mug, quaint and queer, / Nor that o'erflowing mug of beer, / Would tempt me, sir, were I a gent, / To join your rowdy regiment. / Don't try with drink to catch recruits, / Our army needs good men, not brutes-- / Men who love order and the laws, / Whose hearts are in their country's cause, / Whose nerves are strong, whose heads are clear, / Whose courage is not born of beer., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier reads a copy of "Hardee's Tactics," a manual popular during the Civil War. His uniform is patched, and he has sideburns and facial hair stubble. "Burnside" refers to Union General Ambrose Burnside, whose style of facial hair came to be known as sideburns., Text: Be dad, and I'm after an officer's place, / And I think I am just the bold boy, / That can show old Burnside the way to advance, / And give the whole country much joy., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Burnside, Ambrose Everett, 1824-1881., Provenance: Hardee, William Joseph, 1815-1873. Rifle and light infantry tactics
The trooper [i.e., cavalry soldier] kneels before a young woman who is crying. He wears a blue Union uniform, and his hat and gloves lie on the ground before him. Sitting on his spurs, the trooper appears pained. The text and image suggest that the trooper has no interest in the woman's feelings, and is concerned only with his immediate physical discomfort., Text: Ah! what is the matter, my trooper so gay, / While to this young lass you are kneeling? / Your head, it is soft-- as for heart you have none, / Your butt alone seems to have feeling., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Confederate soldier kneels before a Union soldier and begs for mercy by saying "Qua-rrter." Two swords lie near him. The "neck-tie made of hemp" means a rope for hanging and suggests that recipient deserves death instead of a sentimental token., Text: To trample on "our dear Old Flag", / You rashly did attempt; / The Valentine most met for you, / Is a Neck-tie made of Hemp., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two men stand in front of a staircase. Above it are signs that read "Saloon/ Wines" and "Clam Soup." One man has his hand on the other's back., Text: Where're you are met, in tavern or street, / You're waiting to see if some one will treat; / You'll ask friends to drink, and then walk away, / And leave them behind for the liquor to pay., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The disagreeable man frowns and has a creased face., Text: A proverb that I often hear, / Most truthfully to you applies; / Let's whisper it into your ear -- / 'Tis, "Vineagar never catches flies.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman walks her small black dog. She wears an ornate gown, a flowered bonnet, and eyeglasses., Text: With the most ugly of all faces, Go on, and mimic all the graces: / How can you think, when in the street, The laughing, giggling men you meet, / That every laugh is but a smile, And that they love you all the while? / Good-bye, old maid-- without a clog, Go through the mud-heaps with your dog; / I don't know which I like the least, You or your dirty little beast., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands behind a tree while other soldiers fight in the background. The valentine mocks the cowardice of soldiers who buy their commissions., Text: Charge boys, charge, while I stand behind a tree; / The fighting is for you, and it's left for me to see. / I suppose you will ask me how I got my position, / I hauled out my money and paid for my commission., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man is seated in a cart pulled by a running horse. Two ships are in the background, one with a steam engine, and one with masts and sails. The valentine implies that the recipient presses the sender to engage in premarital sex. The sender rejects him because she does not believe he will marry her., Text: G'lang ole hoss -- high up, my spunky one! / Show 'em you'll do it -- can't you, though -- get on! / Allow me, sir, to interrupt you, -- do: / And, as you are, I will be EXPRESS, too; / I can't be pressed to favor your address, / And trust you'll make your pressing suit EX-PRESS., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The merchant sits on a counter with knees twisted over his arms. A sign behind him reads "LINEN DIAPER." The sender mocks the recipient's misguided assumption that women find him attractive., Text: You pert Counter-jumper, with sick'ning grimace / You smile, smirk, and simper your meaningless face / You think yourself killing-- perhaps it is true, man, / For you'd be the death of a sensible woman. / Oh, yes! you're a Cupid, or think yourself so, / The counter your fortress, the yardstick your bow; / But I'd have you know, my impertinent spark, / You have shot all your arrows quite wide of the mark., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
An unwashed woman stands amongst animals, including a nursing dog and a cat who has killed a chicken. In the text, "slut" means "messy.", Text: One animal there is, always in disgrace, / Who cannot look you squarely in the face. / One class of women. too, ought to be cut, / And you are one of them I mean, a slut. / In this there's truth in every line, / And more than that, I'll find another. / Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in a gown smiles. The valentine mocks her brazeness and suggests that she unsuccessfully uses it to hide her lack of intelligence and feeling., Text: Your knowing wink and brazen stare, / Are just the signs that do declare, / (Howe'er you think conceal'd by art,) / An empty head and callous heart., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits at a work bench with sheers and a bolt of blue fabric on it. Vests hang on a clothes line behind her., Text: Put away your sheep-face, wench, / You're only suited for the bench; / The ill-shap'd form resembles thee, / Such nondescripts don't do for me. / Such vests as you pretend to make. / What gent would wear, for Heaven's sake? / Go, go, you remnant, mend you ways, / And think no more of brighter days., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a sword in his hand. His hat is decorated with two figures. Behind him is a dead body with detached legs., Text: O thou, man of fame and slaughter, / You cannot have my mother's daughter; / You are the man, I most could bet, / That went away from poor Jeanette. / What's the use of that long sword to you? / Void of courage to run an enemy through, / Or even a bull-frog to attack a rush, / Thou art no soldier, but a man of mush., Cf. Valentine 10.14., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.