The valentine shows the head and shoulders of a woman in a pink, green, and yellow gown., Text: My widow you're like an old shoe, / That in its short life has ill fared; / And like it now when left all alone, / To be useful you must be re-paired., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The butcher carries a calf's head and a cow's stomach [i.e.tripe]. "Lights" means lungs. A pile of meat scraps is labeled "scrap.", Text: Butcher, butcher, paunch tripe cleaner, / Than liver and lights you are much meaner / Calves' head to calves' head see incline, / On your shoulders you carry a Valentine-- ., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The cooper holds a hammer in his hand above a barrel. Behind him are barrels and tools. He smokes a pipe and wears a top hat., Text: Pretty dear! with face just like a baboon, / And mouth more fit for the ladle than for spoon, / Hammer away, and labor at your task.... / Your empty head is emblem of your cask., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The man leans forwards and grins. He wears a blue coat and yellow plaid trousers. His hair and mutton chops are curly. Copperhead refers to northern sympathizers with Secession., Text: When, leaving the ranks of honest men, / 'Mid men of politics to snake it, / 'Twas well you chose a Copperhead, / For fear some loyal man should break it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits on a chair with an infant on his lap. A bowl marked "pap" [i.e., mashed baby food] is on the table next to him, and the infant reaches for it. The man appears to be changing the baby's diaper., Text: To rock the cradle, make the pap, / Or change the baby's linen, / I plainly see e'er long you'll be, / Much better than the women., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The soldier carries a rifle with a bayonet and wears a Union uniform with a blue coat with tails and epaulets, top hat, and scarf. Behind him, a small dog barks., Text: Bravest of soldiers in fine weather, / A monkey with a cap and feather, / You'd hardly dare to shoot a hog, / And scamper from a little dog., "114", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds a cat o' nine tails whip and a pistol. He frowns, has sharp teeth, and facial hair., Text: I ne'er for a husband a tyrant would have, / Because he would treat me just like some old slave; / And if he should try, his persuasions to urge, / I'm sure it would be 'cross my back with a scourge., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man has two faces. One side smiles and waves, and the other frowns and extends a fist., Text: One moment in dimples and smiles, / And filled with good humor, your face is; / Another you then to us turn, / Which is covered with frowns and grimaces., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier rests on crutches, has his left arm in a sling, and is missing his right hand and left leg. His rucksack is on the crutches. Chickahominy is a Virginia river near where the Battle of Gaines' Mill took place. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Come up to the bar, old boy-- / Come up to the bar and drink: / Did you leave your leg and arms / On Chickahominy's brink? / There's lots of your sort around-- / Young heroes in a war grown old-- / And out on the niggardly hound / Who'd leave them "out in the cold.", Variant of Valentine 12.29 and Valentine 12.31., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The mischief maker holds an opened envelope and sticks her enlongated nose into it., Text: Sly old peeper, mischief making, / Take care now whose note you're taking; / We've found you out, and so despise you, / And send this warning to advise you., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The dry-goods dealer stands behind a counter and shows a garment to two women., Text: MR. DRY GOODSMAN, your lying tongue doth ever run / Like the color of your goods when exposed to the sun: / You warrant all things "not to fade," which you show / Yet when they are washed they become white as snow. / Now don't you fear, that, while thus lying and cheating / Your partner, "Old Nick," will give you his greeting., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union foot soldier has very large feet., Text: When in action you are brought, / And the use of bayonets taught; / Then your feet sir, you will prize, / On account of their great size. / For with a pair of feet so large, / You could stand sir, any charge; / Except, perhaps, a cobbler's bill, / And then you'd run with a good will., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The grocer stands at a counter and holds a knife in his right hand and extends his left hand. A wheel of cheese is on the counter, and there are containers marked "tea," and "gun" behind him. Another barrel is marked "yhyson" [i.e. "physon" or "physan"], and a barrel marked "gin" is on the floor., Text: Grocer, cheese, and butter dealer, / Sausage seller, and corn mealer-- / Liquor mixer, sugar sander; / In Sunday clothes-- great Alexander / Never thought himself so fine, / As you-- ass-headed, VALENTINE!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldiers stands with his chest puffed out and his hand on his hip., Text: Say! Song of Mars, / With lofty figure, / Did you ever pull a trigger? / I know you didn't invent powder, / Although you talk a great deal louder. / Shun men who're really brave-- / You couldn't fight your soul to save; / Go keep your tale of love untold, / For my affection's for the bold., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The fop observes a woman walking past him and says "Dem Fine Gal." He holds a walking stick and a monocle., Text: Poor dandy headed empty ass, / Prying about with quizzing glass. / Lisping and drawing out each word, / In manner that is too absurd., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man in profile smiling. His beak-like nose and jacket with tails make him resemble a bird., Text: You don't look so very unruly; / In fact, you're as tame as a goose: / You're all you're cracked up to be, truly, / And your wits are lying 'round loose., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman with the "corkscrew tongue" is shown wearing a yellow and red gown, bonnet., Text: Beware of woman, both old and young; / I once had a wife with a corkscrew tongue. / Whenever we disagreed, you see, / she run the 'unruly member' through me, / Cutting me up, stomach and heart -- / 'Twas an awful BORE, and we had to part. / 'Twas an ex-screw-tiating divorce, / But the corkscrew left me no other course. / I send you this, as a warning, in time / To unscrew your long tongue, if you'd have a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits in a chair with his feet on a table. He smokes a cigar. The valentine criticizes the office holder's lack of action since he has been elected., Text: You'll bow and simper, rant and shout, / To cozzen fools when you are out; / But once you're in, don't care a jot, -- / All other outs may go to pot., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a woman with two faces. One smiles, has regular features, and holds out her hand. The other rages, has pointed features, and shakes her fist., Text: So, so, here we have you unmasked, / The truth is too plain to be asked; / Full of scandal, and always lying, / Constantly your tongue is flying; / You backbite the very best of friends, / And injure all to make your ends., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Irish woman holds a broom, smokes a pipe, and stands by a pig. She wears a pink and yellow dress. Cutty refers to a short clay pipe, and "broth of a boy" is an Irish colloquialism for a good young man., Text: Arrah, Bridget, Och! hone! bonny Ireland's joy. / Is it you wud be wanting 'A broth of a boy;' / Jist take my advice, stay at home, tend your pigs, / Lilt your songs, smoke yer cutty, and dance yer gay jigs., Variant of 5.22., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The grandmother wears a poke-bonnet and shawl. The valentine mocks older women who pursue younger men., Text: I'm a lonely Grandmother, / And want a young beau, / To nurse and caress me / As older I grow., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds a magnifying glass to a book with a heart drawn on it. The valentine possibly alludes to sexually transmitted diseases., Text: See what results from passion vile! / Look on this face, what ravage! / Let those beware, who would defile / Their natures like this savage., Cf. Valentine 9.46., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier wears baggy, short red pants, a cap with a red crest, and box-like shoes. The valentine mocks the Chasseur's drinking, flirting, and cowardice., Text: Farewell, my bold Chasseur-- / In every lass sir, / A flame, I've no doubt you inspire; / But when in the line / Of the skirmishers fine, / At the show of a flame you'll expire-- / Then take off each trunk. / And make you a bunk, / To lay your head in / When with glory you're drunk., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man hammers a cabinet. "Mizzle" means to depart suddenly., Text: Next to a beastly undertaker, / Oh! how I hate a cabinet maker; / His punch-like nose-- his shaving lips, / His little sixpenny brads and chips / If ere I married such a chizzle, / I'd surely mallet him, and mizzle., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
An Irish woman wears a cap and has bucked yellow teeth. She holds a toaster rack as if it were a harp. Above her is written "Harp of Erin," which is a symbol for Ireland. The text suggests that after she sings, the rack/harp will take on new symbolism as a body, and she'll grill meat on its "buzzum" [i.e., bosom]., Text: Sweet harp of me counthry, in sadness I touch thee, / To strains that are plainitive, though ould as the hills, / And bime by when me song is sung out, I will clutch thee, / And brile on thy buzzum some beautiful grills!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman (possibly a landlady) holding a large key and looking through a large keyhole. A sign behind her reads: "Lodgings Cheap & nasty." The valentine criticizes those who invade privacy through spying and associates this behavior with proprietors and lodgers at cheap lodgings., Text: The key to many a tale profound / Of strange intrigues and artful dodgings, / Is in the Keyhole to be found -- / As all should know who live in lodgings., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A grocer stands at a counter and holds a piece of food. Behind him is a pile with rounds marked "cheese", "live", and "oil." On the other side of the counter stands a small child and a container marked "sour milk." The valentine accuses the recipient of selling rotten foods., Text: You doubly green old grocer, go, / With teeth blue as your indigo; / Your milk's as sour as your face, / Your cheeks hang down in mouldy grace, / Where pimple worms sport round with ease, / Just like the maggots in your cheese; / Your foul meats, like your green eyes, shine, / You carrion of a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union sentinel holds a gun and wears a uniform that is too big for his frame, making him appear childish. The sender mocks the recipient and suggests that he will never marry., Ill. signed: B., Text: Say! Lonely Sentinel; when on thy beat, / Do'st ever long the one thou lovest to meet? / Do'st ever wish when though demand'st the pass, / That she that gave the countersign might be thy lass? / Oh! vain is thy hope, and grey will be thy hair, / Before she gives the watchword to "Who goes there?", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The rake wears fashionable clothes and carries a walking stick. He smirks and holds his hand to his mouth., Text: Your ruffled shirt bosom and gay flashy vest, / The tip of the mode in which you are dressed, / Your heaps of flash jewels, the strut that you take, / All prove you to be a most licentious rake., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The railway worker stands in front of the furnace holding a piece of firewood., Text: If it is true that when we die / We will our earthly trades still ply, / It sure must be, my little joker, / That you will be the Devil's poker., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union recruit stands with his musket over his shoulder. His jacket is too large for him and makes him look childish., Text: A raw recruit my taste don't suit, / Althought he should make me a queen-- / And I see from your face, / And your unnatural grace, / That you are too awfully green., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A wrinkled woman wearing a bonnet sits in a chair. "Caudle" refers to a popular "Punch" magazine character serialized in 1845. The valentine suggests her husband's desire to be absent from his wife is warranted and that he will face violence when he returns., Text: Poor Mr. Caudle has gone to his club -- / A club waits for Caudle at home: / How can he such a dear creature snub? / How wish from her arms e'er to roam?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Punch (London, England).
The bar-keeper reaches for coins on the bar, presumably payment for the beer a customer is holding. In the background, two women carrying plates and beverages look on. A clock on the wall indicates that the time is shortly before seven o'clock. The text suggests that bar-keepers steal from their employers., Text: I know a Bar-Keeper for a long time, / And to his honor I shall write this rhyme. / We all know that he does well understand / To make long fingers and a crooked hand; / And so, they say : this is the way the money goes: / A shilling always for myself and six cents for my Boss!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A baby with a scrunched face and large ears is held aloft, by an unseen woman with lace cuffs on her sleeves. The valentine states that the soldier will be greeted by the child he fathered as he was going off to war., Text: Here's the boy, my soldier brave, / You left behind you in the dark; / When you victoriously return, / He'll chirp your "welcome" like a lark., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman with pointed, enlongated features and crossed eyes., Text: I do not fear ghosts. I have no dread / Of those who in churchyards stalk; / Yet I would not wish to see your head. / Start up in my lonely walk., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a dress with a high neckline; her corsage and handkerchief suggest that she may be at a social function.. She slouches against a wall between and door and a picture frame, and her nearly closed eyes and open mouth suggest that lack of intelligence accompany her manners and money., Text: Politeness and dress, in this gay world of ours, / Are considered the tests of gentility; / But we commonly find a great lack mind, / Where the're found with so much amiability., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The author occupies a small part of the valentine. His hands are on his hips, and his legs are wide apart. His face is pinched, and his nose is large., I am a gay author / Of books not a few; / And I long to be read / And approved of by you., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"The Army Contractor" shows a bearded man in a fur hat and coat, with his hands in his pocket. He stands near a chest with drawers. The valentine criticizes contractors for their dishonest practices. Camphene is a mixture of oils used for lamp fuel and explosives., Text: For whiskyy [i.e. whiskey] ou [i.e. you] sell bad camphene toddy,/ And clothe poor soldiers with flimsy shoddy;/ Its not after glory you pant,/ Its only after dollars and cents you want., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The mason holds a trowel and a bottle marked "brick." The text refers to his putting a brick in his hat on Saturday night (slang for getting drunk). The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Among the brick the mason revels. / With his trowel and line, his levels and bevels, / He bricks up this, and he bricks up that, / And, on Saturday night, puts a brick in his hat., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The man of letters has a rodent's face and tail. He wears knee-breeches, a coat, and cravat. He holds his top hat and a letter in his hands., Text: In a golden lace and fancy plush, / You look finer than your betters, / And take great airs upon yourself, / Since you've grown a man of letters., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The druggist holds a pestle above a mortar. Medicine bottles, books, and a skull on are the shelves behind him., Text: Thou Esculapian, half-starved wretch, / Thou nostrum vender of the pill, / The Sexton's friend -- thou shar'st his fees / With victims that thy physic kill. / Unfit to tend an ailing cat, / Or to a jackass give relief: / Thou'll' ne'er suit me, you nauseous spook, / Of human lives a legal thief., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits at a telegraph board with ticker tape around him. A clock hangs on the wall behind him, and in the background another man reads a ticker tape. The first telegraph message was sent in 1844., Text: O Mighty Operator on the little wire. / A liking I might have for you, / If you were not such a liar.. / But, out of an hundred words, / Of lies there's ninety-nine! / A man with such a [illegible]., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Bridget" looks at herself in the mirror glass. She wears a bonnet and large skirt with the crinoline visible. A broom stands rests on the dresser in front of her. Honiton refers to an expensive English lace company. Brass here means brazenness or impudence, and the valentine condemns her pretensions., Text: Bridget, sometimes, at the glass, / Tries Miss Julia's bonnet on;/ Making, thus, a face of brass, / Edged with lace of Honiton., Cf. 5.7., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in sleeping clothes stands in front of his baby in a chair. His wife sleeps in the bed behind him., You poor molly-coddling spooney fool, / This is a picture true to life, / Showing you in your shirt, so cool / With your baby, while calmly sleeps your wife. / But you are just served right in that, / The only one we pity, is the blessed baby: / And if I was your wife, -- I tell you, flat, -- / You would get something worse, you stupid gaby., Cf. Valentine 8.31., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The lawyer has a long nose and a bald spot on top of his head. He holds a piece of paper marked "Bill of." The sender rejects the recipient's marriage proposal., Text: In Hymen's Court you've filed your plea, / In suit on your behalf of me, / But be it known to your vexation, / That No is my fixed declaration., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with a cat's head holds a mouse by its tail. She holds up her apron and has a shocked expression on her face. The sender suggests the recipient's gentleness is a facade., Text: Though for your gentleness, / You have gained much applause, / I am afraid if mad, / You'd quickly show your claws., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"All Tongue" depicts a large woman in the foreground. Her mouth is open, and she points her finger toward the man covering his ears in the background. The text chastises women who speak too much., Text: Chattering, chattering, all day long, / Driving all mad with your senseless tongue; / Hung in the middle, it rattles away, / But "talkers are doers, but seldom" they say., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A young man smokes a cigar as he leans against a water pump platform. His attire and posture mark him as one of the Bowery B'hoys from the Five Points area of New York City. "De machine" refers to the b'hoys involvement with city politics. "Mussy" means drunk, and "Gone into the lemons" may mean passed out after drinking alcoholic punch., Text: You know that you're one of the bo'hoys, / And bound to run with de machine; / You take up half of the walk, / And think every one must be green: / You always keep blowing 'bout something, / When you're mussy, you make such a noise, / There's no peace in the crib till you're gone / Into the lemons-- with some of the bo'-hoys., Cf. Valentine 8.10., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line is an allusion to "Hamlet." A Union soldier holds up his sword and stands next to a cannon. Another soldier lies on a hill and thumbs his nose. A skull and cross bones flag flies above them., Text: "Treason most foul as in the best it is" / But, who could think of treason worse than this; / From its proud staff to tear our Starey flag, / And in its place to hoist that traitor rag., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616, Hamlet.
A young man looks at a poster of an elephant. Behind him is a sign that reads "NOTICE GENTLEMEN FROM THE COUNTRY TAKEN IN," suggesting that the recipient is from the country and will be exploited in the city., Text: My tender sprout of cabbage head, / I would your young heart deceive; / So seek some more congenial bed / To flourish in, -- and now leave., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
