The brakesman operates a wheel from behind a train grill. He wears a red hat, yellow trousers, and a short green jacket. He has a beard and moustache., Text: "Down brakes," don't come with so much dash, / Or else I fear there'll be a smash -- / Not of my heart, but your head, I fear; / For know, young man, the brake's not clear., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "Old Deceiver" holds books marked "Tracts" and "Bible," suggesting that he is a religious figure. He looks over his shoulder at a group of women. The sender criticizes the recipient for religious hypocrisy., Text: You are an old sinner, / Though different you seem; / Your love is all worldly; / In your eye is the beam., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two Zouave Union soldiers run among rifles, pistols, cannons, and cannonballs, one of which is marked rum., Text: Zu-Zu, you made a splendid run, / From Bull-Run fight, to Washington. / By Bully Runners e'er so fleet; / Your feats of legs such wonders/ raised, / That every one has stood amazed. / So, Coward Recreant, Renegade, / Your Valentine I'll not be made., Cf. Valentine 11.50 and Valentine 12.1., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A young, fashionably dressed woman stands in front of a sign that reads "Lisping grammar" and "Geography of dancing." Her hair is curled, and she curtsies, revealing her crossed feet, crinoline, and petticoat hem. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches." The valentine associates the girl with France and mocks her impractical education., Text: In the language of France, / And its dress, and its dance, / I presume you are quite proficient; / But I doubt that, my dear, / You the oven could clear / When the time came for putting a dish in 't., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The ugly hatter stands at a table ironing top hats. "Gossamer" refers to the shellacked muslin pieces that shaped silk hats. "Swipes" is slang for copious drinking, and "logwood" is a type of dye. "Judy" is slang for a ridiculous woman, and the sender suggests that the recipient could only marry such a woman., Text: Ah, now I well know what it was that I smelt-- / 'Twas the bottle-nosed, rabbit-mouth'd dealer in felt. / Mother Judy might marry such fellows, but I / Detest such a dabbler in logwood and dye. / Thought your head is so big, 'tis of gossamer rig-- / All bloated and puff'd, like a measly pig. / Beastly swiller of swipes, what a picture is thine! / Bad luck to the girl who is your Valentine!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The hatter has a small body, pointed ears, and enlarged head, which the text mocks. He holds a large hat in front of a box that reads "Gossamers 419." "Gossamer" refers to the shellacked muslin pieces that shaped silk hats. There is an iron on top of it., Text: So proud of your flimsy stuff, / A sun and rain shed; / Go, make one hat big enough / To hide your own head., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sews a cap. She has an enlarged nose and a moustache and sits at a table with men's caps on it. The caps' blue color may indicate that they are for Union soldiers., Text: Dainty damsel, time ne'er lingers, / On those very active fingers, / Other females, you make charming! / Make yourself, then, less alarming! / As it is, -- I don't incline, / To pick you for a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier wearing a rucksack holds a large musket and smokes while he adjusts his glove., Text: Head up, eyes right, every inch a soldier, / Pity that your uniform did not make you bolder; / In the rank of soldier boys, then you'd proudly shine / Terror of your Secesh foes, lord of this heart of mine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The bow-legged ostler stands in a stable in front of a donkey in a stall. He holds a girth and wears riding breeches and a vest., Text: Chuckle head, stupid, / Just like your brother there; / Faith, it's a puzzle, / To tell one from t'other there., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man applies paste to wallpaper. A tub marked paste is behind him, and scrolls of wallpaper surround him., Text: You look so well with brush and paste, / And pipe stuck in your jaw! / The lady has a shabby taste, / Who could refuse your paw, / A man like thee who quickly can / Clothe in fair beauty's dress / Her mansion walls, and stately halls / In robes of loveliness., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with a sharp, thin nose sits at sewing machine., Text: You know it is so, that you are but sew-sew, / Yet you smirk, all the young beaux to wheedle; / Though shirt bosoms you pierce, yet a human's no go, / For your nose is as sharp as your needle., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man with a heart-shaped torso. He wears a green cap, and he points to a sign on his chest that reads " 'Not a Red' Besides!" The text is a parody of Sheridan's "The Duenna." The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: No heart is mine "for falsehood framed," / But honest, large, and true, / And ready, (when the day is named,) / For transfer unto you. / The red, red blood that doth imbue / Its palpitating tides / Is all I have to offer you-- / I've "nary red" besides!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A German American woman ice skates, and a small figure in the background has fallen down., Text: You come all de way from Hoboken, / Mit a schmile upon your nose, / An', I dinks you is a fraulein, / A seeking for-- I knows! / So shust don't skate any more as dat. / But schlip like scheese away, / Un go mit me to de schustice mit de peace, / Und I'll make you mine vrow right away. / Never skates any more, den, bewitching fraulein, / If you would save from de colic your own Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds a fork with a fish on it over a fire. Next to the fire are a small sauce pan and toasting fork. A cat stands behind the chair., Text: Mean, snivelling, sneaking, garret bred, / Cat-lick'ed, and shotten herring fed; / What right can such a thing as you, / Presume a woman's love to woo? / Starve where you may, this picture see, / Poor drivelling knave, you don't starve me., Cf. 6.31., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A bricklayer holds a level to a wall of bricks and a trowel in his other hand. "Hod" means a trough used to carry bricks or coal., Text: With plummet and rule, here's a bricklaying fool; / A can's his delight, and a trowel's his tool-- / And just as the plummet consists of hard lead, / Even so are the brains that you have in your head; / Oh Cupid beware, or perchance you grow sick, / To see such a gulpin pile brick upon brick, / Go man of the hod, I prithee go quick, / Your mould is all crooked, your mortar won't stick., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A fireman pulls a running hose towards him and fails to turn it towards the fire behind him. The valentine uses slang and provinicialisms to mock the fireman and suggest that he will not attract any women., Text: Oh! what a "gallus" Fireman, / To run "wid der Machine; " / To "take de butt," or pick a muss / None better e'er was seen, / But do not think a decent girl / As a "Lize" would wish to shine : / Or be unto a Loafer! / A loving Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man holding a small child in one arm and a chamber-pot chair in another. The child says "poop dad de." A woman observes them from behind a curtain. The name Caudle refers to a popular "Punch" magazine character (Mrs. Caudle, a "curtain lecturer") serialized in 1845. The valentine advocates withholding sexual and procreative activity as a means of punishing a controlling wife., Text: Caudle, though you're a very clever, / As a nursery maid, / Still dear Mistress Caudle ever / Will her spouse upbraid. / Then while you nurse each pledge of love / which your sweet charmer bore; / Have your revenge, and swear by jove, / You'll not make any more., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Punch (London, England).
The valentine shows a Union captain in uniform. He stands in front of a row of tents, and his sword is in its scabbard., Text: When duty calls, I hope you'll be / Not hid behind some friendly tree / But leading on the gallant line / To win the fight and a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts two soldiers in Union uniforms, one holding a rifle with a bayonet with which he prods the other over a fence., Text: I was tired of the ranks, and promoted I'd be, / I tho't the shoulder straps would look finely on me, / But when I applied, it was only to find, / The promotion before just hurt me behind., Cf. 10.3., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The painter stands on a ladder with a paint brush in hand to paint a wall. A bucket hangs from his ladder., Text: Nasty Painter, your paper cap so very thin / Reminds me of your brains within; / Paint thy own likeness, filthy elf, / And be thy Valentine thyself.
The literary woman sits at a table. She writes with a quill, and with her other hand she cradles her head, her elbow resting on a book. The trashcan is filled with yellow pieces of paper. "Blue stocking" is a term for women intellectuals that was often derogatory. The valentines criticizes women writers for lacking sufficient maternal desires and characterizes them as frightening and unattractive. Cf. Diogenes, hys lantern, v. 2 (1852), p. 128., Text: If there e'er was a woman that frightened me quite, / A Blue-stocking 'twould be, who had talent to write, / Who'd much rather spend her time writing a yarn, / Than teaching her children, their stockings to darn., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man standing in profile; his shadow resembles a goose., Text: Oh! pray great Good, and silly elf, / Go from my sight, and hide yourself. / 'Mongst christains [i.e., christians], surely is no place / For a thing, with such a face. / A goose like you must live alone, / No Duck will ever be your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears plaid breeches, smokes a cigarette, and looks in the mirror., Text: Wearing the breeches, wearing the breeches! / Know that all our experience teaches, / A woman, forgetting what's due her sex, is / Ready for vice and all it annexes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man smokes and wears both men's and women's clothing, including a skirt, a top hat, breeches, and a coat and jacket. His has mutton chops. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches." "Guv," or govenor is slang for "boss.", Text: Some chaps are seen / For crinoline / By Nature's hand adapted; / No woman's love / To such is "guv," / Their hearts are never tapped at., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The fop wears a large, triangular frock coat, top hat, gloves, and thin trousers. His hair is curled, and he carries a switch cane., Text: A shining black hat, and glossy shirt collar, / A coat, pants and vest of cut most divine, / A little switch cane, you really would make for / Your tailor, a beautiful traveling sign., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a large woman sitting in a chair. She holds a cup near a pitcher. Her dress is hiked up to reveal her boots. The valentine condemns swearing women., Text: Horror of horrors, a foul mouth'd woman, / Shows the depth of degradation; / She should be struck from the race call'd human / And rank'd with the brute creation., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The old maid wears a yellow and red ball gown with lace gloves. She holds up her skirt to dance. She has numerous wrinkles., Text: Of all the olds maids that ever I knew, / There never was one half so jolly as you; / A mistake there has been, I am much afraid, / You ne'er were intended to be an old maid., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man in a top hat and tails standing at a counter marked "Tailor." The valentine suggests that the dandy should amend his behavior in order to attract women., Text: Little dandy, don't suppose, / Any girl will favor / You, just for your suit of clothes, / Try--suitable behavior., "501", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The cavalry dandy has his face turned upward. His facial hair consists of sideburns and a moustache. He wears large star-shaped spurs and carries a large sword., Text: When mounded [sic] on your blooded steed, / You look both bold and fine indeed; / But when your foremost in the fray, / Be sure you do not run away., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows the Devil holding a pitchfork with a woman on the top over a fire. The devil has hairy legs, cloven feet, and four points on his head. The valentine suggests that the "old maid" is damned for failing to marry and procreate., Text: Oh! what a very sorry sight it is, / To see an aged lady still a Miss, / To know that single she must live and work, / And in the end be toasted on a fork., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in a green and red uniform looks into a tube, possibly a gun or cannon. He holds a monocle over his eye, carries a walking stick, and has long hair, suggesting that he is a dandy. The sender criticizes the recipient for posing as a soldier and suggests that he is effeminate., Text: Your swashing gate and vacant stare, / Pleased fools in times of peace, / But since afraid to go to war, / Put off the duds and cease., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with the face of an ape hunches forward to use snuff. She has a monkey on her back. The text references the adage that a woman who does not marry leads apes into hell., Text: Snuffy, soiled, a slouchy slattern, / You've become a complete pattern; / Old and ugly, but with care, / And taking apes to ---- you know where., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a crinoline structure, bonnet, and fur cap and muff. "Bombazine" was a fabric used for mourning clothing. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: Oh! it's well they become you, ma'am, / And it's well they become, ma'am; / You know what I mean, / (It isn't the crinoline, ) / Are they made of bombazine? -- / It's well they become you, ma'am!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with disheveled hair sits at a table with his chin resting on one hand. In the other hand, he holds a handkerchief., Text: O! you sigh for a wife-- how funny / No a girl must be flat indeed, / Unless you had mints of money, / To take up such a broken reed., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A seated man sews a sock by candelight., Text: This picture I send, to show you your end, / The end of not only a few-- / Old Nick I intend as your intimate friend, / For the devil serves thus such fellows as you. / Alas, you poor fool! 'tis plain to be seen / That one thus to live, indeed, 'tis a sin: / There's plenty to have you, if you only knew it, / 'Tis certain, indeed, you never would rue it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows an old man wearing sleeping clothes and a headscarf. A bowl marked "gruel" is on the table behind him, and he stands near a pile of bedding. The term "granny" mocks the recipient for being both old and effeminate, and the sender ridicules the recipient for thinking he can find a young wife., Text: Gouty and toothless, one foot in the grave, / You would like a young wife to make her a slave; / If you've luck you may get one, and if so, so be it -- / But for me, my dear granny, I can not see it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The bachelor walks holding a large umbrella under his arm. His nose and chin point towards a statue of a naked woman., Text: Your buttonless shirt, and ragged coat sleeves, / Proclaim you to be an old Bach; / Pray hunt up some young maid, I really believe / If you tried, you would soon make a match., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A wrinkled woman holds a parasol and tilts her head up. The sender criticizes the recipient's fear of marriage and threatens that she will be damned., Text: My wrinkled old maid, who to wed is afraid, / And therefore, unmarried will stick; / At the end of your days if you don't mend your ways, / You're sure to be caught by Old Nick., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman runs and wears breeches underneath her dress. A man runs away from her., Text: That a woman's rule is ofttimes good, / This, firm experience teaches, / But it really seems to reach extremes, / When she tries to wear the breeches., Cf. Valentine 12.36., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears many flowers in her hair and a skirt with furbelows. She rests her chin in her hand. The valentine cautions the recipient against holding sentimental beliefs about marriage, suggesting that she will not receive marriage proposals because she is neither sensible nor wealthy., Text: Waiting for an offer, few indeed the chances; / These are not the times we read of in romances; / Men want wives with good sense, or with flowing coffers, / And are very careful to whom they're making offers., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits with her eyes closed and head down. The shape of her clothing resembles a religious cassock, perhaps suggesting celibacy., Text: That you can't get a lover, well I know / To you must be a bitter pill; / That at your feet you never had a Beau, / And what is more, I fear you never will., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands with her eyes half open. The sender mocks the recipient's desire for marriage., Text: It is not good for a man to be alone, / Nor woman either-- so you're always sighing; / So you will strive to be the rib of one / Good man, if you should even die in trying., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "Old Bachelor" sits on a stool in front of a fireplace. He holds a toasting fork, and a kettle sits near the fire. His appearance is generally ragged, with an overgrown beard, disheveled hair, and holes in his socks., Text: O! poor old Bach; you must be lonely, / Your stake in life is small; / I look at you, and wonder only / How you exist at all., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in a low-cut gown looks in the mirror. Her cheeks have rouge on them, and she holds a pot. Another woman stands behind her., Text: THE glass grows hateful to your sight, / For it tells you truly you're a perfect fright; / All the arts that ever you can make or try, / Will fail to add lustre to your eye. / In vain you may try with pastes and cream, / To smooth your skin or hide its seams; / Old maid, with all the art of borrowed charms, / You cannot catch a young man in your arms., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman smokes a cigarette and and plays billiards., Text: For a "high old time, " and a jolly spree, / A man might spend an hour with thee; / But he never would choose to make a wife, / Of a woman with such ideas of life., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman runs and wears breeches underneath her dress. A man runs away from her., Text: That a woman's rule is ofttimes good, / This, firm experience teaches, / But it really seems to reach extremes, / When she tries to wear the breeches., Cf. Valentine 12.37., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a leash around her husband's neck, and he holds a baby. The valentine criticizes advocates of women's rights for degrading men., Text: She who be-littles her husband's name, / Knows not what to woman's grace belongs; / The Rights some silly women claim, / Are nothing less than a husband's wrongs., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man has very long mutton chops and a moustache., Text: You think your style is just the thing / To raise a great commotion; / Get the ladies on a string, / And use them to your notion; / But ladies cannot stomach now, / Such senseless-headed noodles, / They all with one accord avow, / They find more sense in poodles., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands at a podium with her hand raised. A smaller man and woman sit in the audience. Figure possibly caricature modeled after Quaker women's rights advocate Lucretia Mott or sisters Sarah and Angelina Grimke., Text: Peace! brainless babbler -- what's the use / Of proving to mankind that you're a goose, / By asking husbands -- so runs your speeches -- / To put on frocks, while you wear their breeches., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
