The valentine shows a man with a heart-shaped torso. He wears a green cap, and he points to a sign on his chest that reads " 'Not a Red' Besides!" The text is a parody of Sheridan's "The Duenna." The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: No heart is mine "for falsehood framed," / But honest, large, and true, / And ready, (when the day is named,) / For transfer unto you. / The red, red blood that doth imbue / Its palpitating tides / Is all I have to offer you-- / I've "nary red" besides!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A German American woman ice skates, and a small figure in the background has fallen down., Text: You come all de way from Hoboken, / Mit a schmile upon your nose, / An', I dinks you is a fraulein, / A seeking for-- I knows! / So shust don't skate any more as dat. / But schlip like scheese away, / Un go mit me to de schustice mit de peace, / Und I'll make you mine vrow right away. / Never skates any more, den, bewitching fraulein, / If you would save from de colic your own Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds a fork with a fish on it over a fire. Next to the fire are a small sauce pan and toasting fork. A cat stands behind the chair., Text: Mean, snivelling, sneaking, garret bred, / Cat-lick'ed, and shotten herring fed; / What right can such a thing as you, / Presume a woman's love to woo? / Starve where you may, this picture see, / Poor drivelling knave, you don't starve me., Cf. 6.31., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A bricklayer holds a level to a wall of bricks and a trowel in his other hand. "Hod" means a trough used to carry bricks or coal., Text: With plummet and rule, here's a bricklaying fool; / A can's his delight, and a trowel's his tool-- / And just as the plummet consists of hard lead, / Even so are the brains that you have in your head; / Oh Cupid beware, or perchance you grow sick, / To see such a gulpin pile brick upon brick, / Go man of the hod, I prithee go quick, / Your mould is all crooked, your mortar won't stick., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A fireman pulls a running hose towards him and fails to turn it towards the fire behind him. The valentine uses slang and provinicialisms to mock the fireman and suggest that he will not attract any women., Text: Oh! what a "gallus" Fireman, / To run "wid der Machine; " / To "take de butt," or pick a muss / None better e'er was seen, / But do not think a decent girl / As a "Lize" would wish to shine : / Or be unto a Loafer! / A loving Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man holding a small child in one arm and a chamber-pot chair in another. The child says "poop dad de." A woman observes them from behind a curtain. The name Caudle refers to a popular "Punch" magazine character (Mrs. Caudle, a "curtain lecturer") serialized in 1845. The valentine advocates withholding sexual and procreative activity as a means of punishing a controlling wife., Text: Caudle, though you're a very clever, / As a nursery maid, / Still dear Mistress Caudle ever / Will her spouse upbraid. / Then while you nurse each pledge of love / which your sweet charmer bore; / Have your revenge, and swear by jove, / You'll not make any more., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Punch (London, England).
The valentine shows a Union captain in uniform. He stands in front of a row of tents, and his sword is in its scabbard., Text: When duty calls, I hope you'll be / Not hid behind some friendly tree / But leading on the gallant line / To win the fight and a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts two soldiers in Union uniforms, one holding a rifle with a bayonet with which he prods the other over a fence., Text: I was tired of the ranks, and promoted I'd be, / I tho't the shoulder straps would look finely on me, / But when I applied, it was only to find, / The promotion before just hurt me behind., Cf. 10.3., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The painter stands on a ladder with a paint brush in hand to paint a wall. A bucket hangs from his ladder., Text: Nasty Painter, your paper cap so very thin / Reminds me of your brains within; / Paint thy own likeness, filthy elf, / And be thy Valentine thyself.
The literary woman sits at a table. She writes with a quill, and with her other hand she cradles her head, her elbow resting on a book. The trashcan is filled with yellow pieces of paper. "Blue stocking" is a term for women intellectuals that was often derogatory. The valentines criticizes women writers for lacking sufficient maternal desires and characterizes them as frightening and unattractive. Cf. Diogenes, hys lantern, v. 2 (1852), p. 128., Text: If there e'er was a woman that frightened me quite, / A Blue-stocking 'twould be, who had talent to write, / Who'd much rather spend her time writing a yarn, / Than teaching her children, their stockings to darn., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man standing in profile; his shadow resembles a goose., Text: Oh! pray great Good, and silly elf, / Go from my sight, and hide yourself. / 'Mongst christains [i.e., christians], surely is no place / For a thing, with such a face. / A goose like you must live alone, / No Duck will ever be your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears plaid breeches, smokes a cigarette, and looks in the mirror., Text: Wearing the breeches, wearing the breeches! / Know that all our experience teaches, / A woman, forgetting what's due her sex, is / Ready for vice and all it annexes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man smokes and wears both men's and women's clothing, including a skirt, a top hat, breeches, and a coat and jacket. His has mutton chops. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches." "Guv," or govenor is slang for "boss.", Text: Some chaps are seen / For crinoline / By Nature's hand adapted; / No woman's love / To such is "guv," / Their hearts are never tapped at., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The fop wears a large, triangular frock coat, top hat, gloves, and thin trousers. His hair is curled, and he carries a switch cane., Text: A shining black hat, and glossy shirt collar, / A coat, pants and vest of cut most divine, / A little switch cane, you really would make for / Your tailor, a beautiful traveling sign., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a large woman sitting in a chair. She holds a cup near a pitcher. Her dress is hiked up to reveal her boots. The valentine condemns swearing women., Text: Horror of horrors, a foul mouth'd woman, / Shows the depth of degradation; / She should be struck from the race call'd human / And rank'd with the brute creation., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The old maid wears a yellow and red ball gown with lace gloves. She holds up her skirt to dance. She has numerous wrinkles., Text: Of all the olds maids that ever I knew, / There never was one half so jolly as you; / A mistake there has been, I am much afraid, / You ne'er were intended to be an old maid., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man in a top hat and tails standing at a counter marked "Tailor." The valentine suggests that the dandy should amend his behavior in order to attract women., Text: Little dandy, don't suppose, / Any girl will favor / You, just for your suit of clothes, / Try--suitable behavior., "501", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The cavalry dandy has his face turned upward. His facial hair consists of sideburns and a moustache. He wears large star-shaped spurs and carries a large sword., Text: When mounded [sic] on your blooded steed, / You look both bold and fine indeed; / But when your foremost in the fray, / Be sure you do not run away., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows the Devil holding a pitchfork with a woman on the top over a fire. The devil has hairy legs, cloven feet, and four points on his head. The valentine suggests that the "old maid" is damned for failing to marry and procreate., Text: Oh! what a very sorry sight it is, / To see an aged lady still a Miss, / To know that single she must live and work, / And in the end be toasted on a fork., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in a green and red uniform looks into a tube, possibly a gun or cannon. He holds a monocle over his eye, carries a walking stick, and has long hair, suggesting that he is a dandy. The sender criticizes the recipient for posing as a soldier and suggests that he is effeminate., Text: Your swashing gate and vacant stare, / Pleased fools in times of peace, / But since afraid to go to war, / Put off the duds and cease., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with the face of an ape hunches forward to use snuff. She has a monkey on her back. The text references the adage that a woman who does not marry leads apes into hell., Text: Snuffy, soiled, a slouchy slattern, / You've become a complete pattern; / Old and ugly, but with care, / And taking apes to ---- you know where., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a crinoline structure, bonnet, and fur cap and muff. "Bombazine" was a fabric used for mourning clothing. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: Oh! it's well they become you, ma'am, / And it's well they become, ma'am; / You know what I mean, / (It isn't the crinoline, ) / Are they made of bombazine? -- / It's well they become you, ma'am!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with disheveled hair sits at a table with his chin resting on one hand. In the other hand, he holds a handkerchief., Text: O! you sigh for a wife-- how funny / No a girl must be flat indeed, / Unless you had mints of money, / To take up such a broken reed., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A seated man sews a sock by candelight., Text: This picture I send, to show you your end, / The end of not only a few-- / Old Nick I intend as your intimate friend, / For the devil serves thus such fellows as you. / Alas, you poor fool! 'tis plain to be seen / That one thus to live, indeed, 'tis a sin: / There's plenty to have you, if you only knew it, / 'Tis certain, indeed, you never would rue it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows an old man wearing sleeping clothes and a headscarf. A bowl marked "gruel" is on the table behind him, and he stands near a pile of bedding. The term "granny" mocks the recipient for being both old and effeminate, and the sender ridicules the recipient for thinking he can find a young wife., Text: Gouty and toothless, one foot in the grave, / You would like a young wife to make her a slave; / If you've luck you may get one, and if so, so be it -- / But for me, my dear granny, I can not see it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The bachelor walks holding a large umbrella under his arm. His nose and chin point towards a statue of a naked woman., Text: Your buttonless shirt, and ragged coat sleeves, / Proclaim you to be an old Bach; / Pray hunt up some young maid, I really believe / If you tried, you would soon make a match., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A wrinkled woman holds a parasol and tilts her head up. The sender criticizes the recipient's fear of marriage and threatens that she will be damned., Text: My wrinkled old maid, who to wed is afraid, / And therefore, unmarried will stick; / At the end of your days if you don't mend your ways, / You're sure to be caught by Old Nick., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman runs and wears breeches underneath her dress. A man runs away from her., Text: That a woman's rule is ofttimes good, / This, firm experience teaches, / But it really seems to reach extremes, / When she tries to wear the breeches., Cf. Valentine 12.36., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears many flowers in her hair and a skirt with furbelows. She rests her chin in her hand. The valentine cautions the recipient against holding sentimental beliefs about marriage, suggesting that she will not receive marriage proposals because she is neither sensible nor wealthy., Text: Waiting for an offer, few indeed the chances; / These are not the times we read of in romances; / Men want wives with good sense, or with flowing coffers, / And are very careful to whom they're making offers., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits with her eyes closed and head down. The shape of her clothing resembles a religious cassock, perhaps suggesting celibacy., Text: That you can't get a lover, well I know / To you must be a bitter pill; / That at your feet you never had a Beau, / And what is more, I fear you never will., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands with her eyes half open. The sender mocks the recipient's desire for marriage., Text: It is not good for a man to be alone, / Nor woman either-- so you're always sighing; / So you will strive to be the rib of one / Good man, if you should even die in trying., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "Old Bachelor" sits on a stool in front of a fireplace. He holds a toasting fork, and a kettle sits near the fire. His appearance is generally ragged, with an overgrown beard, disheveled hair, and holes in his socks., Text: O! poor old Bach; you must be lonely, / Your stake in life is small; / I look at you, and wonder only / How you exist at all., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in a low-cut gown looks in the mirror. Her cheeks have rouge on them, and she holds a pot. Another woman stands behind her., Text: THE glass grows hateful to your sight, / For it tells you truly you're a perfect fright; / All the arts that ever you can make or try, / Will fail to add lustre to your eye. / In vain you may try with pastes and cream, / To smooth your skin or hide its seams; / Old maid, with all the art of borrowed charms, / You cannot catch a young man in your arms., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman smokes a cigarette and and plays billiards., Text: For a "high old time, " and a jolly spree, / A man might spend an hour with thee; / But he never would choose to make a wife, / Of a woman with such ideas of life., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman runs and wears breeches underneath her dress. A man runs away from her., Text: That a woman's rule is ofttimes good, / This, firm experience teaches, / But it really seems to reach extremes, / When she tries to wear the breeches., Cf. Valentine 12.37., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a leash around her husband's neck, and he holds a baby. The valentine criticizes advocates of women's rights for degrading men., Text: She who be-littles her husband's name, / Knows not what to woman's grace belongs; / The Rights some silly women claim, / Are nothing less than a husband's wrongs., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man has very long mutton chops and a moustache., Text: You think your style is just the thing / To raise a great commotion; / Get the ladies on a string, / And use them to your notion; / But ladies cannot stomach now, / Such senseless-headed noodles, / They all with one accord avow, / They find more sense in poodles., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands at a podium with her hand raised. A smaller man and woman sit in the audience. Figure possibly caricature modeled after Quaker women's rights advocate Lucretia Mott or sisters Sarah and Angelina Grimke., Text: Peace! brainless babbler -- what's the use / Of proving to mankind that you're a goose, / By asking husbands -- so runs your speeches -- / To put on frocks, while you wear their breeches., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a tapered, bustled, ruffled skirt that forces her to bend forward in the Grecian Bend. She holds a small parasol and wears a hat. The valentine mocks the recipient for thinking her fashionable dress is attractive to men. The Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869., Text: A slave to Fashion's tyrant laws, / You court each silly fop's applause; / Did you but know what I can see, / How shocked, I fancy, you would be. / You will, I hope, leave off this style, / Your dress provokes a pitying smile., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands between two women who wear restricted skirts that reveal their feet; they do not appear to be wearing bustles. He has a shocked expression as they both press leaflets to his chest. The valentine mocks women's involvement in politics and connects it with immodest and flirtatious behavior. Bustles were not in vogue between 1876 and 1883, as they were before and after those years., Text: You talk so much of what you'll do / When women have their proper show; / That for your country, in your zeal, / You would the men caress and feel; / Excuse me, if I here portray / A female politician's way., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman bends forward in the Grecian Bend caused by fashionable bustles and restrictive skirts. She holds up her skirt revealing her ankles and petticoats. The Grecian bend style of bustle became popular after 1869., Text: Thou languishing young lady-bird, / Thou Angel quite untainted; / With ruby lips, and well formed hips, / Pray tell me, -- are you painted? / You're uglier than the Gorgon / That frightened folks to stone, / The Grecian Bend don't help you, / So ugly have you grown., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a gown with a tiered, tapered skirt over a Grecian Bend style of bustle. The Grecian Bend became popular after 1869., Text: "Pray, what's the matter," said a friend to me, / "With that young woman that I see?" / I stopped and looked and calmly said, / "The wits have surely left her head, / But where they're gone there's no telling / Unless you judge by large swelling.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman bends forward towards a crowd of women, in the "Grecian Bend" created by wearing fashionable restrictive gowns and bustles. Behind her are signs that read " The Original Grecian Bend for State Millener" and "The Pink of Fashion, Mme. Lecreme." The Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869. New York city directories for 1867-72 list Fisher and Denison at the same address, noting that Denison lived in Maryland., Text: You're all aflame with woman's right, / And hope thereby to see strange sights; / No place too bold for such a trump-- / You'd even go so far as mount the stump. / If you thus cast all social laws aside, / You'll never be a happy bride., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a woman in a booth labeled "Vote the Ladies Union Ticket." The woman inside of the booth reaches out to a hesitant man. The text and image criticize woman's rights advocates for not recognizing their proper places and suggests that such women are not desirable sexually or socially. The woman appears to be wearing a bustle; bustles became popular after 1869., Text: Among the women who in history brightest have shone / Are those who have left the men's affairs alone, / Who in their homes have found their proper places, / And sought not in crowds to show their faces; / We see you seek a different line-- / You are too bold to be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands in profile. The image is a caricature of an 1817 portrait of Thomas Hall by the British artist Richard Dighton. Hall was born in Philadelphia, but was ordained in England and served as the chaplain at the British factory in Leghorn (Livorno), Italy after the Napoleonic Wars. Hall sold art and antiquities acquired in Europe to American institutions, perhaps provoking the derisive caption,"Sell and Repent.", Text: SELL AND REPENT., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a blacksmith at his forge. His cheeks are red, and his hair is black. He has defined arm muscles and puffed sleeves., Text: Was ever such a dingy devil seen? / A perfect antidote to love, I ween. / Black as your forge, eyes like your furnace red; / When you appear, folks start back with dread. / The fire at your forge may continue to shine, / But I will never wed such a black Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Comic valentines, very popular in the United States beginning in the early 1840s, are quite different from the lacy, heart-shaped cards that one associates with the holiday today. The cartoons and verses poke fun at various occupations (lawyers, doctors, preachers, butchers, etc.), ethnicities (Black, Irish, German, etc.), human frailties (fat, thin, ugly, nosy, two-faced, etc.), romantic aspirations, habits and pastimes, political activities, and participation in the American Civil War. The Philadelphia collector John A. McAllister assembled the collection and donated it to the Library Company of Philadelphia in 1884., In both the United States and England, the market for comic valentines rivaled that for sentimental valentines, with their sales numbers about equal in the 1840s and 1850s. Sentimental valentines were more expensive, ranging in price from twenty-five cents to thirty dollars. A single comic valentine cost about a penny, hence their other nickname "penny dreadfuls." "Dreadful" is an appropriate term, but "crude," both in content and printing, is perhaps more accurate. Many were printed from wood blocks, with the color added by hand (often with stencils). The later examples were reproduced lithographically, but imitated the look of woodcuts. Sometimes the same image was used more than once with different doggerel verse. The recipients typically threw them away, so few survive. Bibliographically, they are challenging because they rarely list the artists' or publishers' names or the date of publication. The illustration technique is not always obvious, even with magnification. Working under the NEH-funded McAllister Project, Linda Wisniewski scanned the valentines. During a 2006 internship funded by the Fels Foundation, Elizabeth Donaldson created the records for the collection. Thanks to Linda and Betsy, digital versions of these remarkable pieces of ephemera are available here for further study., Provenance: The Comic Valentine collection was donated to The Library Company of Philadelphia in 1884 by John Allister McAllister.
Creator
McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, creator
The valentine is shaped like a bank note and is marked as issued by the "state of matrimony". The valentine is decorated with hearts, couples walking, and a cupid flying a chariot pulled by doves, signed: Lith. of L. Rosenthal. Copyright statement dated 1852., Text: Secured by the Whole Stock of Truth, Honour, and Affection / The Token of Frienship/ The Bank of True Love / One Hundred / I promise to pay to [blank] on demand the homage and never failing devotion of sincere Affection/ Cash, Cupid, Pres't., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Magee, Richard, bookseller.
The "daughter of the D---" holds a broom in one hand and a set of large tongs in the other. Her hair is wiry, and her face is pointed with lizard-like tongue and sharp teeth., Text: If all God e'er made was good, / Some things like you we find most evil; / And we must think, at least we should, / That you're the offspring of the D----., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
