A man with pink skin stands in front of a sign that reads "New York 122 Miles." His shadow looks like a pig., Text: When first you came before my eyes, / I really felt a great surprise, / In fact a puzzle 'twas to me / What animal you e'en could be; / Until at least I found it out-- / A drunken Pig with nasty snout., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a knife and a book marked "Tragedy." Her gown is trimmed with ermine and torn. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught." Charlotte Cushman was a prominent actress in the nineteeth century., Text: Who are you, rampaging stranger / Who upon our sense burst? / Lady Macbeth courting danger / Mid the "murrderrerrs accurrst?" / Cleopatra? Charlotte Cushman? / Or old Hamlet's awful queen? / Or some wild outlandish bushman / Half-way girl and boy between? / Decked as you as with ermine skin and bloody/ dagger, / A pretty waiter-girl you'd make to serve out / Lager., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a man with a duck bill [?] wearing a large hat. He rings a bell, perhaps like a town crier. The text suggests that he is trying to sell himself., Text: My fair lady I've just come out / With noisy sound of bell, / To try to find a purchaser / To whom myself to sell., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in black mourning dress stands next to a tombstone marked "In Memory" and holds a handkerchief in her gloved hand. She smirks and looks over her should at a man in the background., Text: Oh! vain desembler, dry your eye, / And quickly throw that onion by; / Your dress and tears we truly know. / Are only traps to catch a beau., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows the head and shoulders of a woman in a pink, green, and yellow gown., Text: My widow you're like an old shoe, / That in its short life has ill fared; / And like it now when left all alone, / To be useful you must be re-paired., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in a black suit smirks and holds a flower over a grave with an unmarked gravestone. Two woman stand behind him., Text: Vain pretender, put off thy badge of woe; / For, well we know, if you were only able / To cach [i.e. catch] a wife, the funeral baked meats / Would coldly furnish forth the marriage table., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a pair of tongs. Her face is creased, and she frowns. The sender suggests that the recipient's appearance and behavior make her an appropriate wife for the devil., Text: A scolding tongue, a vicious mind, / A face the counter part of evil, / In you we find are all combined, / To make a fit wife for the -----., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman ice skates, and the wind blows up her skirt to reveal her ankles., Text: The naughty breeze! I mean no evil, / With female skirts does raise the devil -- / All pretty girls must skating go, / But do not like their legs to show-- / That is-- and here the dart most rankles, / If they, like you, have crooked ancles [i.e. ankles]. / What is revealed, makes me decline / To be to you a Valentine., Cf. Valentine 13.5., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman ice skates, and the wind blows up her skirt to reveal her ankles., Text: The naughty breeze! I mean no evil, With female skirts does raise the devil -- / All pretty girls must skating go, But do not like their legs to show-- / That is-- and here the dart most rankles, If they, like you, have crooked ankles. / What is revealed, makes me decline To be to you a Valentine., Cf. Valentine 13.4., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman walks her small black dog. She wears an ornate gown, a flowered bonnet, and eyeglasses., Text: With the most ugly of all faces, Go on, and mimic all the graces: / How can you think, when in the street, The laughing, giggling men you meet, / That every laugh is but a smile, And that they love you all the while? / Good-bye, old maid-- without a clog, Go through the mud-heaps with your dog; / I don't know which I like the least, You or your dirty little beast., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a leash around her husband's neck, and he holds a baby. The valentine criticizes advocates of women's rights for degrading men., Text: She who be-littles her husband's name, / Knows not what to woman's grace belongs; / The Rights some silly women claim, / Are nothing less than a husband's wrongs., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands at a podium with her hand raised. A smaller man and woman sit in the audience. Figure possibly caricature modeled after Quaker women's rights advocate Lucretia Mott or sisters Sarah and Angelina Grimke., Text: Peace! brainless babbler -- what's the use / Of proving to mankind that you're a goose, / By asking husbands -- so runs your speeches -- / To put on frocks, while you wear their breeches., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a deck of cards, dice, dice cup, and a wine goblet with a snake in it., Text: There's mischief in both card and dice, / Or goblet, filled to brim; / The're [i.e. they're] only tricks made by Old Nick, / To draw men down to him., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a long sword and draws it out of its scabbard. The sword is taller than the soldier., Text: So you want to get on McLellan's staff; / The though is enough to make any one laugh-- / Why, can't you see, you diminutive elf, / That your sword is almost as big as yourself? / Though you never will use it, / You should not abuse it, / And bang it about as you do; / For a sword of that size, / A man of your size, / From its scabbard never yet drew., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man smokes and wears both men's and women's clothing, including a skirt, a top hat, breeches, and a coat and jacket. His has mutton chops. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches." "Guv," or govenor is slang for "boss.", Text: Some chaps are seen / For crinoline / By Nature's hand adapted; / No woman's love / To such is "guv," / Their hearts are never tapped at., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier plays cards with another man. The soldier holds up a bandaged finger, and behind him is a bar with a sign that reads "Lager." The text suggests that the soldier's injury is minor and he's using it as an excuse to avoid fighting., Text: Soldier, O Soldier! what brought you home so soon? / Can you spend your time not better than in a gambling saloon? / To Skedaddle for the wound that on your finger you've got, / Is the excuse of a coward, and you may go to pot.. / For sooner than be the Valentine of such a cowardly elf, / I'd go and face the enemy, were I sure to be shot myself., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man and woman walk arm in arm. He wears yellow pants and tie, and she wears a large-skirted walking dress that reveals her feet., Text: I am sure it makes the neighbors talk / To see you when you take a walk / With such a silly dressed up swain, / As no other girl would care to gain, / Although I know it makes you vain / To suceed a beau to gain. / And you no other man could win, / So must be content with him., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in an ornate gown walks her small black dog., Text: You are my darling; don't I know / Why you are ogling ev'ry beau; / But all in vain, for who would be / Led like a puppy tied to thee., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in a gown smiles., Text: Dear, delicious, your face divine / Inspires my soul. Will you be mine? / O! do say yes-- nor let me pine; / For you are my own Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a pickaxe and wears a helmet. The valentine mocks his occupation as a miner before the war, and the sender rejects the recipient because of his social status., Text: You belong to the Sappers and Miners, 'tis said, / And you work in the trenches with pickaxe and spade; / An old spade and pitchfork you wielded at home, / And with ash-cart and blind horse the city did roam; / On 'taters and cabbage you daily did dine, / And you'll die in despair if you want to be mine., "517", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The bar-keeper stands at a bar and pours liquor from one glass into another. Decanters and glasses are on the bar., Text: You dashing, dressy Bar-keerp, for a dandy you would pass, / As with the most exquisite grace you handle well your glass; / But your brains are like your liquors, the more they are display'd / The more they show the frothy stuff of which they are made., Cf. Valentine 11.3., "73", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier smokes a pipe. He holds a gun and rucksack. The valentine mocks his appearance and unwarrented vanity. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You don't look handsome in your regimentals, / Although your doubtless think you're very fine. / You'll ne'er belong unto the sentimentals, / And ne'er can hope to be my valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Confederate soldier runs away from bullets and cannonballs. He has a fearful expression. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You doubtless think that prudence is a virtue, / And therefore dangerous favors you decline. / Run swiftly when you fear that aught will hurt you. / But never hope to be my Valentine., "12", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A thin Union soldier in a ragged uniform stands entreating a stout Union soldier in a well-kept uniform. The valentine accuses the recipient, a quartermaster, of theft and misappropriation., Text: You fat old cuss, give us our grub, / You have our cash to feed us, / You're paid to keep us in good trim, / And not to sponge and bleed us., Variant of Valentine 8.47., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A drunken man holds a glass, and the valentine suggests that the recipient's drinking and rowdy behavior has damned him., Text: You go in for the largest liberty, / To drink, carouse, and "smash the machine." / Where will you go to when you go hence? / Straight to the Devil for his Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A white man kneels before a racistly depicted African- American man. The African-American man stands on a pedestal and has wings. "Contraband" here means "slave," and the sender rejects the recipient because of his sympathy for slaves. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You love the contrabands too much / To have love left for me, / And therefore you my Valentine / Can never hope to be., "18", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man prays in a church pew. A small devil has his arm around the man. Behind him are two women parishioners., Text: You may sing psalms with sanctimonious face, / And lift your eyes with such a virtuous leer / Who trusts in you will only meet disgrace -- / Disgrace that's everlasting too, I fear. / Hypocrites like rotten fish will shine, / The devil only is your Valentine., "118", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands in front of a bar and spills his drink onto a waiter's tray. The soldier is thin, carries a sword, and has a large head, and the other figures are much smaller., Text: You may swagger and blow, but people all know, / That you're filled up with less war than poor brandy, / that you never would fight in a bar-room or field, / But brandy could swallow quite handy. / And there's many a door that has a long score, / Chalked down to this bar-room commander, / Who never has chink -- but is ready to drink, / With each scaly looking bystander., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a dog's head stands with straight posture in front of a table with a puppy on it. "Puppy" is slang for "dandy." Steel collars were used to straighten children's posture, and "brass collar" means a partisan with unwavering political allegiance. The valentine mocks the recipient for being more concerned with improving his posture and appearance than with politics and loyalty. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: In this inventive age / Steel collars the rage / For "gents" who are decidedly hard-up; / But it strikes me there's a class / For worn collars made of brass / Would be fitter -- and you're one of them, you Pup!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands next to a coffin and pulls a coin out of it and holds another behind his back., Text: You sneaking, mean, soulless knave, / You'd rob your father's new-made grave, / You'd steal an apple from a girl or boy, / Or rob a baby of its only toy. / Of all men the wide world through, / The most despicable, such as you; / You'd stoop to petty pelf, or lies, / You'd steal the cents from a dead man's eyes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands in front of two men sitting at a table with a plate with two small fish on it. The man on the left holds up two fingers. Behind them is a sign that reads "Boarders will settle every week in advance. Mrs. Gutstarve.", Text: You stingy, shrivel'd, wrinkled, close-skin'd skin-flint, / You advertise for boarders in the papers, / But any man who has any sense or wit, / Can't stand your nasty tricks and capers. / One herring for two men, that is our fare, / And what is left of breakfast, for our dinner, / You think you are making money by your snare, / But you will find that you are the winner., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands between two women who wear restricted skirts that reveal their feet; they do not appear to be wearing bustles. He has a shocked expression as they both press leaflets to his chest. The valentine mocks women's involvement in politics and connects it with immodest and flirtatious behavior. Bustles were not in vogue between 1876 and 1883, as they were before and after those years., Text: You talk so much of what you'll do / When women have their proper show; / That for your country, in your zeal, / You would the men caress and feel; / Excuse me, if I here portray / A female politician's way., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man has very long mutton chops and a moustache., Text: You think your style is just the thing / To raise a great commotion; / Get the ladies on a string, / And use them to your notion; / But ladies cannot stomach now, / Such senseless-headed noodles, / They all with one accord avow, / They find more sense in poodles., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A cavalry soldier rides a horse with his feet out of the stirrups. He carries a large sword. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You think yourself both bold and brave, of course, / Whene'er you safely gallop down your line; / Yourself as jaded as your wretched horse, / Who'd have a scarecrow for a Valentine?, "11.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a whip and stands over a fallen man. Her hair forms horns., Text: You ugly, cross and wrinkled shrew, / You advocate of woman's rights, / No man on earth would live you, / For fear of endless fights., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands between two men. She wears a large-skirted gown that reveals her ankles and blocks the men's path. To have "two strings in one's bow" means to have more than one option., Text: Daily you lose your modesty, / And some new freak of fastness try, / Allow me here then to suggest / The vulgar style that suits you best, / Young Ladies think it is the go / To have two strings unto their bow; / But I'll teach you a faster thing, / To have two beaus unto your string!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds out her infant and smiles. The infant holds a knife and a doll., Text: From early dawn, you love to walk, / And play, and prattle baby talk; / You think that never other lady, / Had half so nice a little baby., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a wide head smiles and puts his hands on his hips., Text: Ha! ha! ha! 'tis just your likeness, / And a sweet one sure is this; / Don't you think your grin inviting / All the maids to snatch a kiss?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman has a large, heart-shaped torso labelled "Poor man's plaster," "fly blister," and "mustard." She holds a bottle marked "Soothing syrup." The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: Ever crying, dying, sighing, / O'er affections trifled with, / Here's a nostrum worth your trying, / It is one containing pith. / Pour a pint of Bourbon whisky / O'rr your lacerated heart, / If it doesn't make you frisky / Certainly 't will make you Smart!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman screams as the Devil embraces and kisses her cheek., Text: Alas! that love, so gentle in his view, / Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!.. / And gentle maid, when Love shall come to you, / You'll know him by his horns and cloven hoof., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in sleeping clothes stands in front of his baby in a chair. His wife sleeps in the bed behind him., You poor molly-coddling spooney fool, / This is a picture true to life, / Showing you in your shirt, so cool / With your baby, while calmly sleeps your wife. / But you are just served right in that, / The only one we pity, is the blessed baby: / And if I was your wife, -- I tell you, flat, -- / You would get something worse, you stupid gaby., Cf. Valentine 8.31., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a gun and sword. Hemp rope was used for hanging, and the sender rejects the recipient by suggesting that he hang himself., Text: You're a gay old Colonel, that's beyond a doubt, / See front your forehead how your eyes bulge out; / With sword and pistol tight within your hand, / You think, no doubt, you look supremely grand; / Around your neck go place thick hempen twine, / And never hope to be my Valentine., "503", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union Zouave soldier holds a rifle with a bayonet., Text: You're a gay Zoovey Zoo, with that big beard of thine, / But I think from the army you'd better resign; / A few think you're brave, but a great many say / You're sheet-ironed behind, and you will run away. / If such be the case, it's a very bad sign, / And you never will make a tip-top Valentine., "506", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A sailor stands with his eyes closed and his hand in his pocket., Text: You're a sweet looking sailor boy, gallant and bold, / But I'm afraid that for rum you do spend all your gold; / So take my advice, and at once change your tack, / Or your own Valentine will soon give you the sack. / Your nose does proclaim you a regular bloat, / And an odor most poisonous comes from your throat., "529", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman bends forward towards a crowd of women, in the "Grecian Bend" created by wearing fashionable restrictive gowns and bustles. Behind her are signs that read " The Original Grecian Bend for State Millener" and "The Pink of Fashion, Mme. Lecreme." The Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869. New York city directories for 1867-72 list Fisher and Denison at the same address, noting that Denison lived in Maryland., Text: You're all aflame with woman's right, / And hope thereby to see strange sights; / No place too bold for such a trump-- / You'd even go so far as mount the stump. / If you thus cast all social laws aside, / You'll never be a happy bride., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a dress with a bustle and a hat with a small veil. The woman leans forward in the Grecian Bend, caused by fashionable restrictive, bustled gowns. The Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869., Text: You're not so bad looking as some I know, / You're not so ill mannered as others I know, / And you generally make a respectable show; / But you're deficient in brains, I'm sorry to say, / Because you dress in such a ridiculous way, / And consider the Bend such a gorgeous array., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A monkey pushes a cart loaded with bags marked "powder." The valentine suggests that the recipient has more in common with monkeys than humans., Text: You're to the soldiers quite a flunkey, / Beauteous little power monkey; / Should you get killed-- oh heaven forbid it-- / The world would want to know who did it; / For when you die, Gorilla's brother, / Where can we pick up such another?, "524", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Zouave Union soldier holds out two pistols and has a sword on his back. A cannonball is between his legs, and bullet is near his forehead., Text: Your tales fiery Zou-zou must surely amuse us / Picking up lighted shells to spit on their fuses / Catching balls in your hands and returning them home / I certainly own are marvelously some., Cf. Valentine 11.48., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union Zouave soldier holds his rifle on his shoulder. Chicken heads peak out from his pants, suggesting that "hens" means "women" in the text., Text: My Zouave is a pretty bird, / He wears a bushy tail; / He never missed secessia's hens, / When one upon their trail. / But now he's gone to / A long way from the snore [i.e., shore], / Where he can never hook the hens, / He gaily hooked before., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
