A Union soldier carries a rifle and a large rucksack with a canteen, bayonet, and case attached., Text: Behold the conquering hero come, / From rations of hard-tack to rations of rum; / While battles raged you stayed in camp-- / A youthful soldier, but "veteran" scamp., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a musket with a bayonet. His nose is larger than the bayonet, but both have the same shape., Text: When our lines to break, / The enemy tries, / Do let me for once / Your brave spirit advise: / When things look promiscuous, / And are coming to a blows, / Then--away with your musket, / And charge with your nose., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Zouave Union soldier holds a pistol and a sword. Cannon balls fly in the background, suggesting that he is in danger, and foolisth rather than brave., Text: Through leaden rain and iron hail / My Zou-Zou never turns his tail / And though he's often fit and bled / He's sure he's right and goes ahead., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A thin Union soldier in a ragged uniform stands entreating a stout Union soldier in a well-kept uniform., Text: You fat old cuss, give us our grub, / You have our cash to feed us, / You're paid to keep us in good trim, / And not to sponge and bleed us., Variant of 13.20., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A goose wears a Union jacket, carries a rucksack, holds a gun, and smokes a small pipe., Text: Pray tell me if you can, whatever was the use / Of your going for a soldier? Eh, you silly, green old goose; / You should have staid at home with your friends, my pretty creature / Instead of going 'mongst your foes, who'll kill and maybe eat yer. / With war's chances all against you, there's no telling how you'll die, / Things won't look so lovely, if, dear goose, you should hang high., "519", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a bouquet of red roses and a sword. In addition to his uniform, he wears a monocle and cap, suggesting that he is a dandy. The sender mocks the recipient's inflated sense of his attractiveness., Text: Swaggering like some great high-grandee, / How d'ye do, my Soldier Dandy; / The girls, you think, no doubt get sweet / On you as you strut through the street. / But they're more apt to think you scamp, / When you're found roaming from your camp., "515", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier lies asleep with his arm around a barrel of lager and a rifle, or "yager," resting on him. The "picket guard" means guard duty for the regiment, and the sender criticizes the recipient for neglecting his military duty., Text: Asleep on your post! Mister Sentry, O fie! / What, ho! sir, wake up! rise and shoulder your yager, / Before thus laid low I supposed you got high / On repeated libations of brain-muddling lager. / Be stirring, be stirring, the guard on their round / Will soon -- as in duty bound -- visit the spot, sir, / And should you asleep by your comrades be found, / They'd report you, and then-- why, of course, you'd be shot, sir!, Cf. Valentine 8.25., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wearing a Union uniform cowers in front of a bayonet. The text mocks the recipient's cowardice., Text: I believe you would let a man spit in your face, / Or submit to all insults, put up with disgrace; / Your name has become a byword and jeer, / As a poor silly coward, the pattern of fear., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows three men in uniform carrying guns.The first and last men are the same height, but the middle figure is twice their heights and much thinner., Text: Gaunt and slim and bony baby, / You will be promoted -- maybe; / Than your comrades two foot higher, / For what more can you aspire?, Variant of Valentine 5.9., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A drunken Union soldier holds onto a pole and stands in front of a restaurant., Text: My friend, your picture here you see, / A patriotic warlike Soldier, yes, sir'ee! / You love your country, and are its sworn defender, / But love your cocktails, and glory in a bender. / With an army as you to fight, to slaughter, / Jeff. Davis need not fear on land or water., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The cavalryman sits on a much smaller horse and holds his sword out in front of him. The valentine mocks his gluttony., Text: With sword just like a carving knife / As I'm a living sinner / You look just like a hungry man / A charging on good dinner., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The chaplain stands between two kneeling soldiers and takes currency from their rucksacks., Text: A pretty man of God are you! / You claim to have an eye of faith, / But have a stronger eye for booty, / When soldiers all are at their prayers, / You go on Pick-et duty., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union Zouave soldier holds his rifle on his shoulder. Chicken heads peak out from his pants, suggesting that "hens" means "women" in the text., Text: My Zouave is a pretty bird, / He wears a bushy tail; / He never missed secessia's hens, / When one upon their trail. / But now he's gone to / A long way from the snore [i.e., shore], / Where he can never hook the hens, / He gaily hooked before., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The colonel wears a green jacket and red pants, and his uniform is neither Union nor Confederate. He wears a disproportionally long sword in a scabbard and stands in front of a writing desk. He has long sideburns and a thick moustache., Text: When perched on your charger on dress parade / You look as brave soldier as ever was made / If you look but as brave when bullets fly / You Country will love you and so will I., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a woman sewing a pair of breeches with a pile of completed breeches next to her. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Hard is thy lot, my honey dear / On soldier's pantaloons aye working, / And yet this thought is so funny, dear, / Within my wicked mind is lurking / Far fitter you than cannon balls / Breaches to make in fortress walls., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a rifle with a bayonet while embracing an African-American woman. His actions cause the woman to spill the liquid in the bottle she carries on a platter. Her dress is turned up to reveal her crinoline and legs. Behind them, an African American man holds his fist up., Text: You nasty, Black Republican, / To hug the sooty African, / How sweet to you her stench must seem, / When the day Star reigns reigns surpreme; -- / That she's your equal in your creed, / To Niggerdom then quickly speed, / For such a filthy kin to swine / Shall never be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a Union officer holding his sword out of its scabbard. There is a cannon ball near his foot., Text: My valiant gory son of Mars, / The way I love is a sin; / If you want me, the Stripes and Stars / Defend, and then go in and win., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier carries a drum. A crow flies above him., Text: Admiration of the boys-- / In this world you'll make a noise; / But it has been said by some, / That your head is like your drum-- / Plenty of sound and plenty of brass, / And carried by a perfect ass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A large soldier wears a large plumed hat and a blue jacket decorated with flowers and a sash. He carries a sword., Text: What man is he that loveth not renown; / Out on him for a booby or a clown! / Fortune and women love the soldier brave, / But love not him who'd be a willing slave. / For me thou art the man brave soldier mine, / And I accept thee for my Valentine., "104", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier rides a horse without a bridal and clings to its neck. His feet are out of the stirrups, his cap is off, and his sword is in the air., Text:"Bring forth the steed! the steed was brought," / And on his back to mount you thought; / But don't you think for a Dragoon, / That you commenced almost too soon? / Before you bade the ground good bye, / Why did you not a hobby try?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine features a man in uniform with a cannon for his head. A wheel rests behind his back, and he holds a lit cord in this hand. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Are you primed and loaded / My bold gunner? / If you only "knowed it" / You're a stunner. / Blow a cloud of smoke / From your muzzle-- / Why it don't you choke / Is a puzzle., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears battle armor made of household objects. He wears a pot as a helmet, brush bristles for epaulets, a lid for a breast plate, and red cannisters over his arms. He carries a broom and a poker from a fire place. Over his pants, he wears crinoline. The valentine satirizes draft dodgers as ridiculous and effeminate., Text: You boast of valor, pluck and grit, / And strong love of the Union -- / You're just the boy to dodge the draft, / And fir for a sneak's communion. / All decent girls view you with scorn, / And treat you with contempt; / When noble men are called for, / You're just fit to be exempt!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union Zouave soldier holds a rifle with a bayonet., Text: You're a gay Zoovey Zoo, with that big beard of thine, / But I think from the army you'd better resign; / A few think you're brave, but a great many say / You're sheet-ironed behind, and you will run away. / If such be the case, it's a very bad sign, / And you never will make a tip-top Valentine., "506", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A thin Union soldier in a ragged uniform stands entreating a stout Union soldier in a well-kept uniform. The valentine accuses the recipient, a quartermaster, of theft and misappropriation., Text: You fat old cuss, give us our grub, / You have our cash to feed us, / You're paid to keep us in good trim, / And not to sponge and bleed us., Variant of Valentine 8.47., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line quotes from Charles Carroll Sawyer's sentimental Civil War ballad, "When this cruel war is over." The valentine shows a Union soldier lighting his cigarette from a bomb as bombs fly in the background behind him. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught." The valentine satirizes the purported bravery of the volunteers by showing them as foolish., Text: "When this cruel war is over," And our noble Volunteers / home return to live in clover / Shan't we have good times, my dears? Honor to the heroes, who by / Their brave deeds us captivate, / Thank of all the kisses ruby / That upon their coming wait!, Variant of Valentine 2.8 and Valentine 2.9., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Sawyer, Charles Carroll, b. 1833. When this cruel war is over.
The Union solider aims a gun towards the viewer. A speech bubble reads "Who goes there?" A yellow snake labeled "copperhead" lays around his feet. Copperhead refers to northern sympathizers with Secession. "Anathema Marantha" is a biblical curse., Text: Of all things whom honorable men despise, / The meanest is the copperhead and traitor, / Whose presence is a libel on our liberties, / And his thoughts a libel on his Creator. / Anathema Marantha! Let him be accursed: / Let him drink of the poison he distils: / Let him be marked of enemies the worst, / That has brought on the Republic all its ills. / The woman would be branded with ever living shame, / Who, for a Valentine, breathed a copperhead's name., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A sailor rows past a large ship with many male and female civilians on deck. "Tar" is slang for a sailor., Text: Row away, Red, White, and Blue, / Put the vile seceshers through; / Then row back quick, my gallant tar, / To her who waits thee from afar., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a gun and sword. Hemp rope was used for hanging, and the sender rejects the recipient by suggesting that he hang himself., Text: You're a gay old Colonel, that's beyond a doubt, / See front your forehead how your eyes bulge out; / With sword and pistol tight within your hand, / You think, no doubt, you look supremely grand; / Around your neck go place thick hempen twine, / And never hope to be my Valentine., "503", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds his sword out of its scabbard, and a cannonball smokes near his feet. "Bobadil" means braggart and refers to Captain Bobadil in Jonson's "Everyman in his humor.", Text: All hail thou most terrific-looking fellow, / If hair and bravery now were always twins, / Or those fought hardest who the loudest bellow, / Thou wert the pluckiest of paladins. / But 'tis not so; vainglorious boast and bluster / Are oft assumed to hide a trembling heart, / The quiet men, where serried squadrons muster, / Enact, mid tired and blood, the manliest part., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Jonson, Ben, 1572-1637. Everyman in his humour.
A volunteer Union soldier cowers behind his rifle and a bullet is near his head., Text: Oh, why did you ever enlist-- / Oh, why to the wars did you go? / Your mind must have been in a mist, / For surely the danger you know. / The cannon balls fly through the air, / The bullets go whistling by; / And the enemy don't seem to care / If they hit you or not as they fly. / Then come home to arms of your love, / Before by fright you are hairless; / For believe me, my own dearest love, / The Confederates fire too careless., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier plays a trumpet., Text: When from that horn sweet music flows, / With full melodious swell; / Then, Trumpeter, upon thy form, / My eyes with rapture dwell. / Thy cheeks so round, thy form so fat, / Thy grand majestic mien; / So fill my heart with rapture, that-- / I'm happy as a queen., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier looks into the firing end of a cannon, and a cannonball lies at his feet. Seeking "the bubble reputation at the cannon's mouth" means to search for military glory and is a reference to Shakespeare's "As You Like It." "Hog in armor" is a term for awkward, clumsy people., Text: Seeking, of course, "the bubble reputation / At the cannon's mouth," / To fight the righteous battles of the nation, / You go South. / Now, prithee, don't mistake your piece's muzzle / Madly, for its breech, / If the two ends should ever prove a puzzle, / Ask which is which! / You look at present like a "hog in armor;" / May you "live and learn," / And having done so, I'll be yours, my charmer, / When you return., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Shakespeare, William (1564-1616), As you like it.
A Union soldier holds his hand up and raises his pinky finger. In the background, two women watch him., Text: You are a gallant soldier, / With a splendid figure for parade; / The country is safe in your keeping, / So long as you fight in the shade. / I fancy mysefl your beloved! / Wouldn't you have a jolly good time? / I'd make you stand guard over a cradle, / And do double duty to Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a pickaxe and wears a helmet. The valentine mocks his occupation as a miner before the war, and the sender rejects the recipient because of his social status., Text: You belong to the Sappers and Miners, 'tis said, / And you work in the trenches with pickaxe and spade; / An old spade and pitchfork you wielded at home, / And with ash-cart and blind horse the city did roam; / On 'taters and cabbage you daily did dine, / And you'll die in despair if you want to be mine., "517", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier runs admidst cannon balls. His cap has come off his head., Text: In every army, great and small, / There is a set of patent blowers, / Who of the work make out to shirk all, / And of their valiant deeds are crowers. / But let a battle once commence, / Away they travel for some tree or fence; / You find their brains too soon are addled, / And you've but to see that they've skedaddled., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier puts snuff in his nose and leans his rifle against his arm. Dead soldiers lie around him, and cannonballs are in the air and on the ground., Text: To make folks think you're bold and brave, / You swear your country you will save, / And fiercely charge upon her foes, / But first you'll stop to charge your nose; -- / Like the dog that lost the rabbit. / When taken short, -- as was his habit; / This application suits me fine, / That I can't be your Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "shoddy" military contractor is handed a $50 bill and stands in front of a barrell marked "STINKING PORK FOR U.S. ARMY from SHODDY." He says "I CAN'T SEE THAT THE PORK STINKS A BIT," and there a sign behind him that reads "SHODDY INSPECTOR OFFICE.", Text: You can't see it? No wonder you can't, / With a fifty dollar green back in your eye; / The soldier may starve-- the sailor may want, / What cares Shoddy if even they die? / He's a curse to his kind -- his country's worst bane, / Deserving the noose on the hangman's line; / But, alas, you don't get it, and to publish your shame, / Is left alone for this poor Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier runs. His jacket is red, but his belt buckle, marked "US," suggests that he is a Union soldier., Text: The man who would desert his country in her need, / Is so much lost to honor, honesty, and shame, / That after death his corpse should ravens feed -- / That all the world should e'en forget his name., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The man leans forwards and grins. He wears a blue coat and yellow plaid trousers. His hair and mutton chops are curly. Copperhead refers to northern sympathizers with Secession., Text: When, leaving the ranks of honest men, / 'Mid men of politics to snake it, / 'Twas well you chose a Copperhead, / For fear some loyal man should break it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The soldier carries a rifle with a bayonet and wears a Union uniform with a blue coat with tails and epaulets, top hat, and scarf. Behind him, a small dog barks., Text: Bravest of soldiers in fine weather, / A monkey with a cap and feather, / You'd hardly dare to shoot a hog, / And scamper from a little dog., "114", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union foot soldier has very large feet., Text: When in action you are brought, / And the use of bayonets taught; / Then your feet sir, you will prize, / On account of their great size. / For with a pair of feet so large, / You could stand sir, any charge; / Except, perhaps, a cobbler's bill, / And then you'd run with a good will., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldiers stands with his chest puffed out and his hand on his hip., Text: Say! Song of Mars, / With lofty figure, / Did you ever pull a trigger? / I know you didn't invent powder, / Although you talk a great deal louder. / Shun men who're really brave-- / You couldn't fight your soul to save; / Go keep your tale of love untold, / For my affection's for the bold., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier wears baggy, short red pants, a cap with a red crest, and box-like shoes. The valentine mocks the Chasseur's drinking, flirting, and cowardice., Text: Farewell, my bold Chasseur-- / In every lass sir, / A flame, I've no doubt you inspire; / But when in the line / Of the skirmishers fine, / At the show of a flame you'll expire-- / Then take off each trunk. / And make you a bunk, / To lay your head in / When with glory you're drunk., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union sentinel holds a gun and wears a uniform that is too big for his frame, making him appear childish. The sender mocks the recipient and suggests that he will never marry., Ill. signed: B., Text: Say! Lonely Sentinel; when on thy beat, / Do'st ever long the one thou lovest to meet? / Do'st ever wish when though demand'st the pass, / That she that gave the countersign might be thy lass? / Oh! vain is thy hope, and grey will be thy hair, / Before she gives the watchword to "Who goes there?", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union recruit stands with his musket over his shoulder. His jacket is too large for him and makes him look childish., Text: A raw recruit my taste don't suit, / Althought he should make me a queen-- / And I see from your face, / And your unnatural grace, / That you are too awfully green., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A baby with a scrunched face and large ears is held aloft, by an unseen woman with lace cuffs on her sleeves. The valentine states that the soldier will be greeted by the child he fathered as he was going off to war., Text: Here's the boy, my soldier brave, / You left behind you in the dark; / When you victoriously return, / He'll chirp your "welcome" like a lark., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"The Army Contractor" shows a bearded man in a fur hat and coat, with his hands in his pocket. He stands near a chest with drawers. The valentine criticizes contractors for their dishonest practices. Camphene is a mixture of oils used for lamp fuel and explosives., Text: For whiskyy [i.e. whiskey] ou [i.e. you] sell bad camphene toddy,/ And clothe poor soldiers with flimsy shoddy;/ Its not after glory you pant,/ Its only after dollars and cents you want., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two Zouave Union soldiers run among rifles, pistols, cannons, and cannonballs, one of which is marked rum., Text: Zu-Zu, you made a splendid run, / From Bull-Run fight, to Washington. / By Bully Runners e'er so fleet; / Your feats of legs such wonders/ raised, / That every one has stood amazed. / So, Coward Recreant, Renegade, / Your Valentine I'll not be made., Cf. Valentine 11.50 and Valentine 12.1., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier wearing a rucksack holds a large musket and smokes while he adjusts his glove., Text: Head up, eyes right, every inch a soldier, / Pity that your uniform did not make you bolder; / In the rank of soldier boys, then you'd proudly shine / Terror of your Secesh foes, lord of this heart of mine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a Union captain in uniform. He stands in front of a row of tents, and his sword is in its scabbard., Text: When duty calls, I hope you'll be / Not hid behind some friendly tree / But leading on the gallant line / To win the fight and a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
