A frowning woman wears a yellow gown and holds a small parasol., Text: Full many a fair flower, not half so fair as you, / Has been plucked in early springtime, when fresh with morning's dew, / And you alone, neglected, have been carelessly passed by, / And now, when old and faded, you are left to droop and die., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a large central female figure, the coquette, and two men standing behind her. She smiles and holds her hands out. The valentine condemns female flirtation and suggests that the outcome will not be marriage., Text: Vain, silly coquette, whose only employ / Is fond loving hearts to offend; / Beware, or ere long the enjoyment will cloy, / And you'll die an old maid in the end., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with pox marks on her face wears a ball gown. The valentine possibly references sexually transmitted diseases., Text: The marks of every passion base / You plainly bear upon your face / Distorted, vile in every feature, / Indeed you are a loathsome creature., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears a plaid jacket with large sleeves, vest, and pants., Text: What more would have, all plaided and stuffed / Sleeves full dimensioned and puckered and cuffed; / A spectacle spectacled -- good morrow to you, / A sample I pass, for the best Boggs can do., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man lies in bed. His arms are up, his feet hang over the bed's edge, and his mouth is open. A chamber pot is visible under the bed., Text: At ten o'clock, you rub your eye's, / And slowly from your warm bed creep, / Or, drowsy asking what's o'clock? / Turn on the other side and sleep., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a large, pox-marked head holds a bottle of alcohol. He has a scarf tied around his jaw and head. "Pumpkin" is a derogatory term for an important person., Text: How could I even think, to wed / A man who's always drunken; / Who really has so large a head, / It looks like a ripe pumpkin,., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sitting at a table holds a bag marked "50,500." More bags fill a bin on the table marked "CASH." A letter holder is mounted on the wall behind him., Text: You grasping Usurer, you rascally Knave, Master of Wealth, yet still its slave! / For worlds I would not link my name with [thine] : For, gold can't purchase a true / Valentine., Cf. Valentine 4.30., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two women and a man sit at a table with tea-cups in front of them, and all three figures hold their hands up and have their mouths open. A cat hisses at the teapot on the floor. The valentine criticizes gossips, particularly those who ruin younger people's reputations., Text: Scandal and slander are what you deal in, / Such ghosts as you are without soul or feeling: / With serpents' tongue youth's hopes you sell, / You'll get your just deserts in h--l., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman closes the door in the face of a woman caller., Text: Though nought in face or form you're needing, / Nor none more handsome ever was, / You're ugly still, through lack of breeding; / For "pretty is as pretty does.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The miser holds a fork with a fish on it over a fire. Next to the fire are a small sauce pan and toasting fork. A cat stands behind the chair., Mean, snivelling, sneaking, garret-bred, / Cat-lick'd, and shotten-herring-fed: / What right can such a thing as you / Presume a woman's love to woo? / Starve where you may, this picture see, / Poor drivelling knave, you don't starve me., Cf. Valentine 10.27., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: De Marsan, H. (Henry), publisher.
The doctor stands in profile, holding a bottle labeled "mercury." He wears a top hat, trousers, and a coat with tails, and a large syringe hangs from his trousers., Text: All sickness and ills, you say, you can cure / By your all-healing garble and pill; / You relieve them from pain : of this I'm quite sure; / For, if you can't cure, you can kill., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sleeps with her head cradled on her hand. A shirt rests on her lap. Another woman sews a shirt in the background. The text suggests that she's dreaming of her lover., Text: Gentle shirt maker, who would forsake her? / Still as she sews she must reap; / She dreams of the lover that new shirt will cover, / And marries him in her sleep., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in a black suit smirks and holds a flower over a grave with an unmarked gravestone. Two woman stand behind him., Text: Vain pretender, put off thy badge of woe; / For, well we know, if you were only able / To cach [i.e. catch] a wife, the funeral baked meats / Would coldly furnish forth the marriage table., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears an enormous skirt with furbelows., Text: Expansive! expensive! extensive! exuberant! / Skirts, more than the city's outskirts, protuberant! / Not only the height of the fashion has come to this, / But the breadth of the fashion is Crinoline bliss., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a dog's head stands with straight posture in front of a table with a puppy on it. "Puppy" is slang for "dandy." Steel collars were used to straighten children's posture, and "brass collar" means a partisan with unwavering political allegiance. The valentine mocks the recipient for being more concerned with improving his posture and appearance than with politics and loyalty. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: In this inventive age / Steel collars the rage / For "gents" who are decidedly hard-up; / But it strikes me there's a class / For worn collars made of brass / Would be fitter -- and you're one of them, you Pup!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds up her arms and screams at the sight of a bug dangling in front of her. She wears a fashionable gown with a low-cut and very narrow bodice. The text suggests that the woman is not scared of physical intimacy and marriage., Text: You'll rush with fright from a harmless bug, / Which the wind has near you carried; / But yet you don't fear a good, stout hug, / Nor tremble at getting married., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The rum-seller stands at a bar and holds a decanter and a glass. He smiles, and a man smiles in the background. "Tin" is slang for "money.", Text: With a gay smiling face or with a sly wink, / Always ready to deal out something to drink: / Smashes, cocktails, and juleps, rum, brandy or gin, / It's no matter what: you want the Tin., Cf. Valentine 9.17., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier wears a red coat with epaulets, a belt marked "A", and tall black hat. He carries a rifle with a bayonet. His spine is curved, and he pushes out his stomach., Text: Though you try to look bold in your fixins so gay, / As you strut around the streets I hear the folks say, / If to war he should go, and they made an attack, / He would surely come home with a ball in his back., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with prominent teeth wears a frock coat, waistcoat, and trousers. "Loathsome weed" refers to tobacco., Text: There you stand with mouth all reeking / With the juice of loathsome weed, / Shocking every ear when speaking. / In all vileness taking the lead., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a pig's head reads a poster, which states, "GREAT VALENTINE DEPOT/ THE FAT HOG," and has a picture of a hog on it. He carries a walking stick with a man's head carved on the top., Text: You are the very antidote to love! / A man of taste undoubtedly you prove; / But 'tis of dinners, Hog, and that you know full well, / And if a wife you choose, 'twill be-- a dinner bell(e)? / Upon my word, I'd give a dollar bill, / To know the jade that sent this Valentine; / The saucy minx, she says I'm sour as swill, / She won't be good for a pig's head like mine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds out her infant and smiles. The infant holds a knife and a doll., Text: From early dawn, you love to walk, / And play, and prattle baby talk; / You think that never other lady, / Had half so nice a little baby., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman carrying a small red parisol wears a gown with large yellow skirt with furbelows., Text: Yes, there she is; and it's no use talking, / I've seen the Devil in the street walking; / I thought they were chain'd in bonds superhuman, / This is hooped up just like a woman., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The lady of the house wears a fashionable gown and holds her head at a haughty angle. Behind her, another woman washes clothing in a large tub. The woman at the washtub is probably the employee of the lady of the house. The valentine mocks the woman's social pretensions as unjustifiable given her role as someone who minds a stand (i.e., works in a small commercial enterprise)., Text: The lady of the house, so grand, / With head stuck up, and airs refin'd, / She quite forgets that little stand, / Which all day long she had to mind., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands in profile. The image is a caricature of an 1817 portrait of Thomas Hall by the British artist Richard Dighton. Hall was born in Philadelphia, but was ordained in England and served as the chaplain at the British factory in Leghorn (Livorno), Italy after the Napoleonic Wars. Hall sold art and antiquities acquired in Europe to American institutions, perhaps provoking the derisive caption,"Sell and Repent.", Text: SELL AND REPENT., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears an open red shirt, apron, and a top hat with a brick on it. His apron has a triangular symbol of freemasonry on it. He sticks out his tongue and holds a leveling triangle and bricklaying trowel. "Morgan" refers to William Morgan, whose disappearance in 1826 fueled the Anti-Masonic movement. The valentine criticizes free masons for profligacy and neglecting their duties to their children., Text: Go, you poor devil of Morgan fame, / Closet yourself up to hide your shame, / Spend all your money like a poor drone, / Leaving your little ones starving at home., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The gambler holds a billiard cue and stands in front of a billiard table. Three other male figures are in the background., Text: Oh! vain moustache-lounger, just look here, / You seem a specimen of human kind-- / But now alas! I tell you most sincere, / You lack that greatest quality-- the mind / The billiard cue-- the spectacle, and all, / Denote that you in games are hard to beat; / But in the game of love there is a call, / No long-ear'd vagabound, like you, can meet., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman wears an equestrian outfit, including a hat, high-necked blouse, and gloves. She holds a horse whip. A "hobby horse" is a child's toy, and it implies that her horsemanship is poor., Text: Each being has its "hobby," / Some better and some worse; / And you are no exception, / Yours is a hobby horse., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Clad in a skirt with yellow furbelows and a bonnet, the woman carries a parasol., Text: On the back of your head a neat little bonnet, / A great wide spreading skirt, with furb'ows on it, / Your pride is in dress, but, really, you somehow, / Just put me in mind of a doll, on a hay-mow., Cf. 1.8., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A seated woman has a padlock through her mouth. The valentine suggests that the recipient's quietness will disappear when she marries. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another thimble cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: A rare and commendable thing / Is well-affected silence, / Among the maids their wiles who bring / Our dulness to beguile hence. / Yet Paddock no control assumes, / (Experience teaches this bird), / When Wedlock or the future looms / And "Yes" has to be whispered., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Long shanks" is slang for "long legs," and the valentine mocks the recipient for his tall stature. "Barnum" refers to P.T. Barnum, the circus founder., Text: Your little bullet head, and legs so very long / Remind me very strongly of a pair of tongs; / Your shape's so very odd, you really make me laugh; / I think if Barnum had you, he would call you the Giraffe., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman depicted is thin, gaunt, tall, and has a pinched face. Her arms are raised. She wears a poke-bonnet and a dress with a high neckline and thin skirt., Text: "A Ball, a Ball --- an abomination!" / It's a scandal to all creation : / Now no one would take you; you groan and bawl, / And say that the Dev-l will take us all., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands next to a coffin and pulls a coin out of it and holds another behind his back., Text: You sneaking, mean, soulless knave, / You'd rob your father's new-made grave, / You'd steal an apple from a girl or boy, / Or rob a baby of its only toy. / Of all men the wide world through, / The most despicable, such as you; / You'd stoop to petty pelf, or lies, / You'd steal the cents from a dead man's eyes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits at a table and drinks from a bowl. A pile of kitchen utensils stands behind her, and a cat eats at her feet. The valentine condemns uncleaniness in women., Text: A nasty woman, let me fly, / She is a pest to ev'ry eye; / At least a female can be clean, / For sluttishness is most obscene., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A boy wears a short coat, ruffled collar, and high pants. He carries books and a slate with arithmetic sums written on it., Text: Unlettered dunce, with shining morning face, / Creeping unwillingly to school with snail-like pace -- / Like postage stamps, requiring much licking / Before you to your letters will be sticking., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits supporting her chin with her hands. She has bare feet, wrinkles, and is missing teeth. A cat sits in front of her, and a canary is behind him., Text: With a nice new wig and a coat of paint, / You're almost just as good as new; / Folks say you're old, but then you ain't-- / What woman's old at sixty-two?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A young woman walks holding a stack of school books. The valentine criticizes her fixation on money., Text: While cramming your mind with pounds, shillings, and/ pence, / You must still leave some room for good common sense; / For though to the top of the ladder you mount, / Without sense your great learning will be no account., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The machinist has a red, porcine nose. He hammers at a piece of metal to make a cog., Text: I'd go without beaus all the days of my life, / And die an old maid, before I'd be the wife / Of such an old hammer as you, you old fool; / You're a piece of pig-iron-- a miserable tool; / For your head's like an anvil with about as much brains, / And you don't know enough to come in when it rains., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows an ape in a top hat, gloves, and plaid suit and waist coast. He smokes a cigarette and holds a thin walking stick. "Baboon" is an invidious epithet., Text: A baboon, in some far-on forest, / May be a model for his race; / But here, among the men and women, / Decidedly he's out of place., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The angry woman beats her philandering lover with a broom as he lies across her lap. A speech bubble by her head reads " HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH THE SERVANT?" as he cries, "Oh! Oh!" The positioning suggests both that he is a child, and she is domineering. The man is contorted, and the woman appears larger than him., Text: It's evident, my angry fair, / Whate'er your wrongs, how much you (bare) bear, / Tho' I would rather not be sharing / My lot with on who's so for-bareing: / Such wives as thee who ever's got 'em, / Will find they're very hard at BOTTOM! / So I for my part would decline / Such a very striking Valentine., Cf. 1.20., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier perched on a picket fence appears to be in pain. He has dropped a piglet. Behind him is a chicken. In addition to a type of fence, "picket" also means dangerous military guard duty. The reference to the hen-house in the text suggests that the soldier has previously been promiscuous., Text: Through many a hen-house you have roved, / And many a pig-stye searched, / At last you've got your just deserts, / Upon a Pick-et perched., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a couple kissing. The clock on the wall indicates that it's one o'clock, and a candle burns nearby. His receding hairline and her staid demeanor suggest that they are older than the norm for courtship. Thus, the late courtship is literally late-at-night and possibly an object of ridicule given their ages., Text: As you daintly sip the dews from her lips, / Both time and the hours scorning, / You sit all night in gay delight, / And don't go home 'till morning., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A father stands next to his child, and the mother is in bed behind them., Text: From the breaking of morn to the close of the day, / You delight that bless'd baby in the cradle to rock; / And you grin with delight, when you hear the folks say, / "La! isn't it a perfect chip, off the Old Block.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a large man skating as he holds two children in his arms. The child facing front resembles a bull-dog. The verse mocks Irish accents., Text: Be aisy now, darlints, be aisy, I say, / There's swate Widdy Connor skathing this way; / I want to present her these jewels of mine, / And wid them, this gay second-hand Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a blacksmith at his forge. His cheeks are red, and his hair is black. He has defined arm muscles and puffed sleeves., Text: Was ever such a dingy devil seen? / A perfect antidote to love, I ween. / Black as your forge, eyes like your furnace red; / When you appear, folks start back with dread. / The fire at your forge may continue to shine, / But I will never wed such a black Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man skates with his back faced toward the viewer. The seat of his pants is torn., Text: Oh! don't you think yourself a smarty, / Making fun of everybody; / But could you see your own profile, / You scarce would risk another smile. / Ha! ha! -- you cut a pretty shine, / With streamer floating from behind, / You are, indeed, a dandy fellow, / With colors hoisted --white and yellow., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Comic valentines, very popular in the United States beginning in the early 1840s, are quite different from the lacy, heart-shaped cards that one associates with the holiday today. The cartoons and verses poke fun at various occupations (lawyers, doctors, preachers, butchers, etc.), ethnicities (Black, Irish, German, etc.), human frailties (fat, thin, ugly, nosy, two-faced, etc.), romantic aspirations, habits and pastimes, political activities, and participation in the American Civil War. The Philadelphia collector John A. McAllister assembled the collection and donated it to the Library Company of Philadelphia in 1884., In both the United States and England, the market for comic valentines rivaled that for sentimental valentines, with their sales numbers about equal in the 1840s and 1850s. Sentimental valentines were more expensive, ranging in price from twenty-five cents to thirty dollars. A single comic valentine cost about a penny, hence their other nickname "penny dreadfuls." "Dreadful" is an appropriate term, but "crude," both in content and printing, is perhaps more accurate. Many were printed from wood blocks, with the color added by hand (often with stencils). The later examples were reproduced lithographically, but imitated the look of woodcuts. Sometimes the same image was used more than once with different doggerel verse. The recipients typically threw them away, so few survive. Bibliographically, they are challenging because they rarely list the artists' or publishers' names or the date of publication. The illustration technique is not always obvious, even with magnification. Working under the NEH-funded McAllister Project, Linda Wisniewski scanned the valentines. During a 2006 internship funded by the Fels Foundation, Elizabeth Donaldson created the records for the collection. Thanks to Linda and Betsy, digital versions of these remarkable pieces of ephemera are available here for further study., Provenance: The Comic Valentine collection was donated to The Library Company of Philadelphia in 1884 by John Allister McAllister.
Creator
McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, creator
A large woman stands at a washing tub, and her dress is low-cut. There is a container marked "soft soap" behind her, and "soft soap" is slang for flattery or sugar-coating, suggesting that the recipient is too idealistic., Text: Scrubbing Judy, Oh you beauty! / All your curls are steamed to strings -- / Swash and spatter in your duty, / Soft-soap well the pesky things; / Rubbing, scrubbing, Judy sings, / As the soap-suds out she wrings., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Admiration" depicts a man observing a woman who is seated on a park bench. He is smoking a cigar, and his jacket is too small for his waist, but his pocket chain, tie, plaid wiastcoat, and hat suggest an interest in fashion. The woman, who is reading a book, is seated in a position that reveals her calves below her pink walking dress; she does not appear to notice the man., Text: I saw her in the garden / A readin' of a book/ I couldn't help admirin' / Well, -- say the maiden's look! / I wondered if she knew it, / And turned again to see; / For, if I thought she did, I vow, / My valentine she should be., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The saloon girl holds a large tray carrying pudding with forks in it. "SALOON" is written behind her. The sender mocks the recipient for her oily hair., Text: Beautiful waiter-girl, are you aware / That the pudding you carry, (all suet), / Is capital dressing to put on the hair? -- / Yes, your head looks as though you well knew it!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands stitching a large piece of cloth. The valentine uses "tailor" as a derogatory term, suggesting that the recipient fails at making himself more attractive by boasting of his connection with sailing., Text: Soon as the early day is dawning, / There you are stitching some old awing [i.e., awning]-- / 'Tis true, you work for the bold sailor, / But you are every inch a tailor! -- / Expect not ever then to be, / More than you are, just now to me., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
