A man stands next to a lamppost. He has dirt on his face and shirt., Text: You are perfectly disgusting with paltry dirty ways, / You skulk about the house, and along the highways, / You are a sloven and a slouch, a lible on the race, / You've a ragged suit of clothes, and a dirt, dingy face., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a dry goods clerk standing behind a counter. A much smaller woman faces him. A pair of gloves and bolt of fabric are on the counter. "Tin" is slang for money, and the sender mocks the recipient's financial status, suggesting that he would have to steal from the till to have enough money for a proper Valentine offering., Text: Just brains enough to measure tape, / And base enough to lie; / You're born to measure calico, / And leer in Woman's eye. / But when I want a Valentine, / I'll call and let you know, / That you may steal enough of "tin," / To make a proper show., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman sewing a dress. Both the woman's dress and the one she sews have red bodices and yellow skirts, but the one she sews has a lower neckline and shorter sleeves. The sender mocks the recipient for her status as a single woman., Text: My ugly old maid, how sad is your lot, / To work on some fine wedding gown, / And know all the while, live as long as you may, / You'll never have one of your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man with a waxed moustache, glasses, and a top hat. He stands in front of a man and woman. The valentine mocks the lounger for his unattractive idleness, superficial criticism of others, and transparent attempts to be near women., Text: Lounger! ambling 'round the places / Where the ladies congregate, / Critic of their forms and faces; / By them despised, you silly pate., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The crusty fellow of the valentine stands facing a flight of stairs. He holds an umbrella and wears a hat. He grimaces and has large, pointed features., Text: You're always full of dumps and vapors, / And playing off your crabbed capers; / I'd die a maiden old and fusty, / Ere I would wed a man so crusty., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows two men. One reclines with his mouth open, and the other stands above him about to pull a tooth out. Both men have disheveled hair and pained expressions., Text: A Dentist here makes teeth of bone / For those whom Fate has left without; / And finds provision for his own / By pulling other people's out., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows two fashionable women holding hands. They wear gowns and have upturned noses. The valentine condemns the women for their slander, gossip, and spleen [i.e., their ill temper]., Text: Envenomed, tattling, mischievous souls, / Whose breath with slander onward rolls, / Your tongues keep going like a bell, / But never knew the truth to tell. / The purer the mark, the bolder your attack, / And always deceitful behind one's back; / On all you vent your spleen and ire, / Your home should be "the place of fire.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A sailor stands on deck next to a cannon. He smokes a pipe and wears a sailor's uniform. He has gray hair and wrinkles., Text: Oh, sailor boy, dost e'er feel blue, / When thou art left without a chew? / When angrily billows 'round thee play, / And you eat salt junk every day, / And when you spit your juice about, / Does't ever strick thee thou'rt "played out?", "528", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows an image of a small child in a pink frock with a yellow collar crying with its hands clenched., Text: Pray dry your eyes my pretty child, / Be cheerful and then maybe, / Next time I pass this way I'll bring, / Some candy for the Baby., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman has a snake's body and a pointed tongue., Text: Deceitful reptile! vain thy every art-- / To captivate my eye, or charm my heart; / For even change your skin, you'd be, at last, / Nought but what now you are-- a snake in the grass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a fireman running. He wears a large hat and blows a fire trumpet. The valentine mocks the recipient's inability to get a Valentine., Text: There you go --- now aint it fine/ To halloo after our ENGINE? / How can you, my boy, be steady, / When to run to fires--- so ready? / You think you cut a mighty shine, / And yet can't get --- a Valentine!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in sleeping clothes stands next to a child seated in a chair. His wife sleeps in the bed behind them. "Gaby" means "simpleton.", Text: You, poor molly-coddling spooney fool, / This is a picture true to life: / Showing you in your shirt, so cool / With your baby, while calmly sleeps / your wife. / But you are just served right in that; / The only one we pity, is the blessed baby; / And if I was your wife, -- I tell you flat: / You would get something worse, you / stupid gaby., Cf. Valentine 13.43., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A simian nurse sits in a chair next to a baby in a craddle. A bottle marked "laudinum" [i.e. laudanum] is on the shelf above her, and she threads a needle. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Hush-a-by, baby! / Your slumbers be light, / With laudanum, maybe, / You're not on a "tight.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The snob, or shoemaker, sews the leather upper to the sole of the shoe. The valentine mocks his appearance, drinking, and courtship of unobtainable women., Text: Now, Mr. Snobby, when next you're at work, / At hammering a sole on your lap, / For the sake of the woman who'd ever have you, / Just commit suicide with your strap. / Oh! wax'd ends and leather! tho' what do I see, / Getting toddy'd wherever you can; / Both stupid and lazy, and shabbily dress'd, / I believe that he thinks he's a man., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man plays a large fiddle. "Catgut" means a thick cord made from sheep intestines used for violin strings. The valentine criticizes the fiddler for disrespecting women., Text: I'm a single Musician, / I fiddle with glee, / And think all the fair sex / Mere fiddle-de-dee., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits at a table and drinks rum through a straw. A bartender stands at a bar in the background. "Sucker" refers to both an excessive drinker and an easily cheated person., Text: A sucker, when you were young, / A sucker, when older you've grown; / And thus, in good sooth, is plain for to see / No matter, how old, a sucker you'll be., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The nincompoop smiles, holds a ball, and plays a whistle. His eyes are crossed, his knees turn in, and his ears are elfin., Text: Now, really, my kind sir, d'ye think I'd stoop / To have a man who's such a nincompoop? / 'Twere better far if single I'd remain, / Than wed a man who had so little brain., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows the head and neck of a woman. "Pizen" is dialect for poison and, by extension, cheap liquor., Text: Sooner than marry you my dear / I'd drink "Pizen" by the bowlful / Because I'd always have the blues / If I'd a wife so Doleful., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man kneels holding a shoe, and a woman's foot is on a stool, with skirt thrown back revealing her leg. The man says "How high would you like it Miss." The valentine criticizes the inappropriate physical contact between shoe dealers and their female customers., Text: Let me teach you, foolish gaby, / When you wait upon a Lady, / Not to foolish jokes intrude, / Such conduct to a Lady's rude., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A young man wears a stove-pipe hat, red jacket, and boots, marking him as a Bowery B'hoy, or young working class man from the Five Points neighborhood in New York City. He stands in front of another male figure who smokes a pipe and wears a stove-pipe hat. "Get the bag" means to be fired., Text: Each swollen eye, each dirty rag, / Of brawls and battles tell us; / You seek my heart -- you'll get the bag, / And won't get nothing else., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman cries and sits with her elbows on a table. The final line of the text is a popular saying., Text: Why so pensive, dear? wipe those tears from thy eyes, / Throw care to the winds, and look gay, as you ought; / Remember this motto, that there is, my dear, / "As good fish in the sea, as ever was caught.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A frowning woman casts a shadow that resembles the Devil., Text: No meek exterior shall hide / The Pharisaic soul of pride: / Hypocrite -- turn thine eyes within, / Nor longer look abroad for sin., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two men stand in front of a staircase. Above it are signs that read "Saloon/ Wines" and "Clam Soup." One man has his hand on the other's back., Text: Where're you are met, in tavern or street, / You're waiting to see if some one will treat; / You'll ask friends to drink, and then walk away, / And leave them behind for the liquor to pay., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The disagreeable man frowns and has a creased face., Text: A proverb that I often hear, / Most truthfully to you applies; / Let's whisper it into your ear -- / 'Tis, "Vineagar never catches flies.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman walks her small black dog. She wears an ornate gown, a flowered bonnet, and eyeglasses., Text: With the most ugly of all faces, Go on, and mimic all the graces: / How can you think, when in the street, The laughing, giggling men you meet, / That every laugh is but a smile, And that they love you all the while? / Good-bye, old maid-- without a clog, Go through the mud-heaps with your dog; / I don't know which I like the least, You or your dirty little beast., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man is seated in a cart pulled by a running horse. Two ships are in the background, one with a steam engine, and one with masts and sails. The valentine implies that the recipient presses the sender to engage in premarital sex. The sender rejects him because she does not believe he will marry her., Text: G'lang ole hoss -- high up, my spunky one! / Show 'em you'll do it -- can't you, though -- get on! / Allow me, sir, to interrupt you, -- do: / And, as you are, I will be EXPRESS, too; / I can't be pressed to favor your address, / And trust you'll make your pressing suit EX-PRESS., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The merchant sits on a counter with knees twisted over his arms. A sign behind him reads "LINEN DIAPER." The sender mocks the recipient's misguided assumption that women find him attractive., Text: You pert Counter-jumper, with sick'ning grimace / You smile, smirk, and simper your meaningless face / You think yourself killing-- perhaps it is true, man, / For you'd be the death of a sensible woman. / Oh, yes! you're a Cupid, or think yourself so, / The counter your fortress, the yardstick your bow; / But I'd have you know, my impertinent spark, / You have shot all your arrows quite wide of the mark., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
An unwashed woman stands amongst animals, including a nursing dog and a cat who has killed a chicken. In the text, "slut" means "messy.", Text: One animal there is, always in disgrace, / Who cannot look you squarely in the face. / One class of women. too, ought to be cut, / And you are one of them I mean, a slut. / In this there's truth in every line, / And more than that, I'll find another. / Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in a gown smiles. The valentine mocks her brazeness and suggests that she unsuccessfully uses it to hide her lack of intelligence and feeling., Text: Your knowing wink and brazen stare, / Are just the signs that do declare, / (Howe'er you think conceal'd by art,) / An empty head and callous heart., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits at a work bench with sheers and a bolt of blue fabric on it. Vests hang on a clothes line behind her., Text: Put away your sheep-face, wench, / You're only suited for the bench; / The ill-shap'd form resembles thee, / Such nondescripts don't do for me. / Such vests as you pretend to make. / What gent would wear, for Heaven's sake? / Go, go, you remnant, mend you ways, / And think no more of brighter days., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sews a cap. Her face is large, and the shading around her mouth appears to be facial hair. The valentine mocks her for gossiping and trying to appear richer than she is., Text: You nasty thing, think any chap / Would woo the stitcher of a cap? / You walk down town, (and such a caper!) / With dinner tied up in a newspaper? / To make folks believe you've been shopping, / In buying shoes or a pair of stockings, / Your figure's bad and when at your labors, / You talk too much about your neighbors., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
An overweight child holds a doll and a stick., Text: Doting parient [i.e. parent] -- I thought that maybe / You'd like a portrait of your baby; / If so, just look above you'll find / A dogrotype, by----- Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The rum seller stands at a bar and holds a decanter and a glass. He smiles, and a man smiles in the background. "Tin" is slang for "money.", Text: With a gay smiling face, or, with a sly wink. / Always ready to deal out something to drink; / Smashes, cocktails, and juleps, rum, brandy or gin; / It's no matter what, you want only the tin., Cf. Valentine 9.16, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The barber attends a seated goat. He holds a large razor that he has positioned to shave the goat's beard., Text: Conceited, chattering, shallow brain, Whose life's all cut and come again,/ Whose razor's keen, whose wit is full, Half breed between ape and fool : / Such a drivelling fop should ne'er Get up my front, or part my hair; / And as to love, I never can Consent to have a BARBER-OUS man., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a fashionably dressed man who grins and holds his hand to his mouth., Text: My innocent young man, My pretty little fellow, / You'll never catch a wife. You are too soft and [mellow?]., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The bricklayer applies mortar to a brick and stands behind a brick wall., Text: You're a very nice fellow, no doubt, / To lay up the wall of a cellar; / If it rained very hard I'd not pout, / Should you offer to hold my umbrella. / But I don't think that mortar could stick / Your heart or your hand unto mine; / 'Twould be laying it on rather thick, / To call you my own Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a washboard with a bar of soap and suggests that the pianist foresakes hygiene to play. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Do you think this is vulgar? / Ah! no, / Ah! no, / Do you think this is vulgar? / Ah! no. / 'T were harder, I hope, / To go without soap, / Than to dispense with the jingling piano, / Yano, / Than dispense with the jingling piano., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A tinker smokes a pipe and holds tools at his work bench. A kettle and pans are on the floor. "Soft soder" [i.e. solder or sawder] is slang for manipulative flattery and originates from a cheap, easy, and less-durable form of joining metal., Text: Pipe-smoking, filthy, dirty sot, / Black as the kettle or the pot! / Most noisy slave, most tink'ring brute, / My taste you surely ne'er will suit. / Ragged wretch! of base-born metal-- / Filthy maker of the kettle; / You can very plainly see-- / Can't come soft soder over me., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man clings to a steam train's chimney with a frowning human face. Another man holds a flag in the background. The valentine possibly comments on sexual ethics., Text: Over the break-necks fiendlike plunging, / Car'less what ill you may entail, / If you're not cautious with your engine, / We'll ride you on another rail!, Cf. 3.37., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The dollar worshipper kneels before a woman who has large sacks of money by her feet. The worshipper has a serpentine body with a curved spine and a hooked nose that suggests that he is Jewish. The large mirror and the curtained windows in the room suggest that the woman is wealthy. Because of the proximity of the woman to the money, it is not clear whom or what he worships., Text: Ha, ha, 'tis thus on bended knee, / You press your vows of adoration,/ But virtue's not your honest plea,/ Nor yet a life of pure devotion,/ For naught but the almighty dollar,/ Could make you wear the marriage collar., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The laundry woman has a runny nose, holds a basket of clothing, and stands in front of a clothes line. "Stone blue" refers to the blue dye laundry women used on clothing., Text: With aspect STARCH and nose STONE BLUE, / My Laundry Maid who would love you. / Or dare to meddle with your clothes, / Or come too near that dripping nose, / So PERSERVERING it ne'er stops / But keeps on RUNNING 'till it DROPS, / You're one of those sort of women / I would not have get up my linen., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Affection" burlesques domestic disturbance. The husband and wife stand facing each other; she is armed with a sword, and he holds a riding crop over his head. The room is in disarray, with a chair and a three-legged table overturned. The text and image suggest that marriage ends in conflict, and the sender attempts to dissuade the recipient from it. Also visible in the room are a framed picture, a fireplace with a vase of flowers on the mantle and a kettle on the grate, an alarmed cat, drapery with a tie-back for a multipaned window, and carpeting., Text: O, this is the way 'twill be with us, / When we've been wed a year; / We'll be at it, shovel and tongs, / I promise you, my dear! / Like the poor cat upon the hearth, / We'll both be in hot water; / The hair will fly, the wife will cry,/ the table fall, the baby squall / And the fire get hot and hotter., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds out her arms in alarm after a man steps on the back of her crinolined skirt, causing her skirt to billow up to reveal enough of her legs to show her drawers., Text: Clear the track, Hackley -- your occupation's gone! / Here comes the new machine, a lady and her throng; / Her skirts sweep the street-- my feeling rankles-- / That men forget the dirt while gazing at her ankles. / She glides along in silence, with grace I confess, / Till some unlucky wight puts his foot upon her dress. / She quickly turns, while he bows with sorrow down. / And vents her spite, with "Oh! you awkward clown.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman ice skates, and the wind blows up her skirt to reveal her ankles., Text: The naughty breeze! I mean no evil, With female skirts does raise the devil -- / All pretty girls must skating go, But do not like their legs to show-- / That is-- and here the dart most rankles, If they, like you, have crooked ankles. / What is revealed, makes me decline To be to you a Valentine., Cf. Valentine 13.4., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Miss Nancy" is a derogatory term for effeminate men. "Judy" is a derogatory term for women derived from the puppet show "Punch and Judy." The man holds a baby as the character Judy does, and the hooked-nose woman resembles Punch and shakes her fist at them. The valentine mocks the reversal of gender roles and criticizes timid husbands and controlling wives., Text: You perfect Judy -- you Miss Nancy -- / Just such a thing as your wife did fancy; / She wanted a man that she could handle; / You suited, for you're just the thing to dandle. / MORAL. -- He would be a woman's tool, / Will find himself a henpecked fool., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows an elephant ice skating (and smoking). He wears a blue jacket and green pants and carries a walking stick. The sender rejects the recipient because of his weight., Text: I've heard fat men singing, / I'm told of their swimming, / I've seen them in various states -- / I've known of their dancing, / And ogling and glancing, / But ne'er have I seen one on skates. / I always am laughing, / When fat men I'm chaffing, / Who think that it will be my fate -- / It sets me tee-heeing, / A Valentine being, / To an elephant trying to skate., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The coquette is surrounded by four men. One has a hunchback, two have large noses, and the final one is balding. The female figure is larger and more brightly colored than the men. She wear a gown and small cap. The shadowy figure of a dog looks on., Text: Lizard-hearted, sly coquette, / Never pleased but with a set / Of winking fools about your feet, / Swearing your sour breath is sweet. / Casting each one off in turn, / Until at last, for all you burn; / In wrinkles in contempt you'll pine, / And like a lone cat longing whine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "country pumbkin" is shown from the waist up. He carries a green pumpkin (or other squash) and wears a green top hat, blue jacket, and red vest. His mouth is open, either yawning or yelling. "Pumpkin" is a derogatory term for an important person., Text: Oh you poor corn-fed country Elf, / Behold the picture of thyself. / Hither come to make love's vows, / Better stay at home and feed your cows. / A city life will never do / For a stupid Hound like you, / Go hoe your corn and feed your swine / And keep your pumpkin for a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands while reading a book. Her crinoline has turned up so that it reveals her legs, and a dog stands underneath it. She says, "What are the people staring at, I wonder?", Text: The winds of march will be here soon / Then you who look like a Balloon, / Perchance may the Balloon fate, / And into the air be carried straight. / Like Cesar -- all gentle fair / Should the Ides of March beware, / For were you carried into the sky, / What THINGS ABOVE might meet each eye., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine satirizes the Irish for drinking, violence, and Catholicism. The Irishman holds his fists up, carries a pipe, and wears knee-breeches., Text: Arrah! paddy, my darlint, wid a big stick, / Are you after a row with Dennis or Mick? / Or, perhaps, a Know-Nothing you'd like to spy, / I'm sure if you find him he'll blacken your eye! / And at a wake you're sure to get tight. / In the street you're a nuisance, with a nasty old pipe., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
