The secessionist holds a paper marked "Jeff Davis/ Richmond/ Plans VA." in one hand, and holds out his other hand to receive paper currency from the man standing next to him. Both wear civilian clothing. In the background, a man in a uniform observes them, suggesting that the military is aware of the recipient's traitorous actions., Text: You are the man who chuckles when the news / Comes o'er the wires, and tells of sad disaster: / Pirates on sea succeeding--- burning ships and crews, / Rebels on land marauding, thicker, aye, and faster, / You are the two-faced villian, though not very bold, / Who would barter your country for might or for gold., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The housemaid looks in the mirror and ties her bonnet. Her crinoline is visible through the skirt she wears, and a broom rests against a bureau. The maid probably wears her mistress's clothing. The valentine satirizes the house maid's vanity., Text: O, my missus! don't I beat her? / Ain't the pink upon me sweeter? / I should sit upon the sophy, / And Missus Jones should make the coffee., Cf. 2.13., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
While ice skating, a woman hikes up her skirt to reveal her thin legs., Text: Like broom-sticks shrunk, or small hat-pegs / One cannot call your's matchless legs; / For as the wind reveals by snatches, / One sees they're quite as thin as matches. / Vile wind that tells the story sad, / That she who skates, must also pad; / Go whisper to this lady fine, / She cannot be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in gown with a bustle holds an umbrella and bouquet of flowers. "Three-balls" is slang for a pawnbroker. Bustles became popular after 1869., Text: A Mantilla from your shoulder falls / Just redeemed from the three-balls; / In the street you make a dash, / 'Tis strange how you obtain the cash. / You're too lazy, and fear to work / You dirty, nasty little flirt; / Stay at home-- not gad the street, / And speak to every loafer you meet., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two Zouave Union soldiers run among rifles, pistols, cannons, and cannonballs, one of which is marked rum., Text: Zu-Zu, you made a splendid run, / From Bull-Run fight, to Washington. / By Bully Runners e'er so fleet; / Your feats of legs such wonders/ raised, / That every one has stood amazed. / So, Coward Recreant, Renegade, / Your Valentine I'll not be made., Cf. Valentine 11.49 and Valentine 12.1., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier cocks his head. He has long mutton chops and carries a sword., Text: Wherefore with hat cocked on one side defiantly, / Smile so complacent, and swaggering stride, / Passing civilians with scornfulness giantly, / Haunt you the streets in your hairy-faced pride? / Doubtless you think there's a wonderful charm in / Your sword and your spurs and your jaunty chapeau, / But not to kill ladies our heroes are arming, / "Eyes right!" my dear fellow, and charge on the foe., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a soldier spearing a cat with a bayonet. Another cat stands on the doorframe., Text: Oh! what a brave heroic man!! indeed it is pity / No other foe is near to charge, but a ferocious kitty! / Your patriotism you should curb, don't let your fury loose, / Perchance, before the battle's over, you'll meet a poor old goose. / You're very brave in times of peace, with bayonet and gun, / But should you see the foe in front, good gracious, how you'd run., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The barkeeper pours liquor from one glass into another as he stands at a bar. The sender rejects the recipient and suggests that he has no money, intellect, or heart., Text: You dashing, dressy Barkeeper, for a dandy you would pass, / As with your most exquisite grace you handle well you glass; / But your brains are like your liquors, the more they are display'd / The more they show the frothy stuff of which your drink are made. / I know you flourish very gay, and talk like men of spunk, / But when you're dress'd to death, I'd like to peep into your trunk, / For it is my opinion, sir, that, if I should you wed, / I'd find your trunk and pockets both as empty as your head!, Cf. Valentine 13.17., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier rides a small horse and holds out his sword. He has white mutton chops and wrinkles. The text suggests that although he can conduct himself in business ("exact a charge"), he is a poor horseman., Text: I see your feet are mighty large, / Your nose is somewhat larger; / And though you can exact a charge / You cannot mind a charger. / Your happy Valentine I ne'er can be, / So from my presence you will please to flee., "512", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a coat and a large-skirted gown that make her triangle-shaped. The valentine mocks the hoop skirt trend for the cage-like appearance of crinolines and the dirt the large skirts attracted in the streets., Text: Waddling pyramid you go, / Flounce flouncing in the snow; / Pretty lady do not rage, / When I say you're in a cage, / By a lot of hoops secured -- / Of it, I am well assured. / Head, of course, is left outside, / Bonnet on your back doth ride; / Sweep away the side-walks clean, / Of street sweepers, you're the queen., Cf. Valentine 1.41 and Valentine 8.37., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
On public transportation, two fashionable young men (a "pair of bloods") crowd a woman so much that her crinoline billows up, revealing her legs. The men's high opinion of themselves (as "big bugs," or men of importance) is not shared by the woman. A third man is visible in outline; each man wears a different style of hat., Text: Aint you a pretty pair of bloods, as in the cars you ride, / To croud and squeze a lady so, with room upon each side, / You are two big bugs indeed, the ladies think you are two swine, / To squeze a lady in the cars, and smash a crinoline., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a dress with a yellow skirt with furbelows and a small red bodice. Behind her a couple dances underneath a chandelier, and a man plays a cello on a balcony. The valentine mocks the recipient for being a wall-flower., Text: Why do you mingle in the whirl / Where the dancers close are clinging? / You're but a wall-flower, my girl, / While a belle should surely ring in!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The house-maid blacks a boot in a kitchen, where the tea pot and kettle have faces. "To have one's swing" means "to allow oneself every freedom." The valentine possibly accuses the maid of having more energy for playing with sweethearts than for her work., Text: Dirty, ugly, vulgar, pert, / So begrimed with grease and dirt, / I vow that I should afraid of, / Seeing what that MAID is MADE of / Tho' call'd MAID OF ALL WORK! they / Say you're often MADE OF PLAY. / And when sweethearts you've your swing / The MAID is quite a different thing., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The machinist holds a hammer and pushes against a brace., Text: In the shop there's none so smart as you / At mending a boiler or making a screw. / Where is your means of supporting a wife, / And supplying her wants throughout her life? / Your wages are small, every one knows / The principal part to the port-house goes! / Faint hope to gain a woman's heart, / By one so well known as thou art., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The deserter kneels, with a dog in front of him and another dog behind him urinating on him. He holds a tub over his head to protect himself from the poker and the iron which his wife holds., Text: You left the Camp of war and strife, / Expecting quiet with your wife, / But you're assailed, behind, before, / You had better leave for war once more., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in black mourning dress stands next to a tombstone marked "In Memory" and holds a handkerchief in her gloved hand. She smirks and looks over her should at a man in the background., Text: Oh! vain desembler, dry your eye, / And quickly throw that onion by; / Your dress and tears we truly know. / Are only traps to catch a beau., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A skeleton wears a Union uniform and holds a saw and a bag of surgical tools. A Union soldier bends over behind him., Text: Ho! ho! old saw bones, here you come, / Yes, when the rebels whack us, / You are always ready with your traps, / To mangle, saw, and hack us., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Lieutenant wears a blue Union lieutenant's uniform. His hair is white, and his face is dark with either dirt or facial hair. His mouth is open, his eyes are closed, and he spills gin as he marches. Gin has particularly negative connotations in the nineteenth century as the drink of the poor and unvirtuous., Text: Although you're a Lieutenant bold, / With sprouts upon thy chin; / At home you spent your store of gold / To drink a store of gin. / And, as your eyes with drunken lustre shine, / I ne'er can be your Valentine., "513", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two Zouave Union soldiers run among rifles, pistols, cannons, and cannonballs, one of which is marked rum., Text: Zu-Zu, you made a splendid run, / From Bull-Run fight, to Washington. / By Bully Runners e'er so fleet; / Your feats of legs such wonders/ raised, / That every one has stood amazed. / So, Coward Recreant, Renegade, / Your Valentine I'll not be made., Cf. Valentine 11.49 and Valentine 11.50., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a fireman straddling a firehose. He smokes a cigar. The sender mocks the recipient's womanizing, drinking, and fixation on fire fighting, and urges him to settle down. "Mose" is the name of the fireman in Benjamin Baker's play New York as it is., Text: Mose loves nothing so well as a fire, / Except it be women and wine; / If I love Mose it is with a desire / To make Mose open his eyes and eye her / Who loves nothing so well as a VALENTINE., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Baker, Benjamin A., 1818-1890. New york as it is.
A soldier sleeps with his arm around a barrel of lager and a gun resting on him. "Picket guard" means guard duty. His uniform is red and yellow, but his belt is marked "US" suggesting that he is a Union soldier., Text: Who said my lover fell asleep, / Or boozy was with liquor. / He only shut his darling eyes / To hear the Old Rebs the quicker., Cf. Valentine 11.31., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union officer stands with his feet crossed and his hand on his hip. He holds one of his mutton chops, which are long and curled., Text: Oh, gallient officer, / With air so complacent, / With whiskers a la mutton chop, / And general [air] so dacent [missing word]-- / I'm sure I could not wed with thee, / For I'd never do my duty; / What could I do the live-long day, / But gaze upon thy beauty?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sleeps with her head cradled on her hand. A shirt rests on her lap. Another woman sews a shirt in the background. The text suggests that she's dreaming of her lover., Text: Gentle shirt maker, who would forsake her? / Still as she sews she must reap; / She dreams of the lover that new shirt will cover, / And marries him in her sleep., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in a black suit smirks and holds a flower over a grave with an unmarked gravestone. Two woman stand behind him., Text: Vain pretender, put off thy badge of woe; / For, well we know, if you were only able / To cach [i.e. catch] a wife, the funeral baked meats / Would coldly furnish forth the marriage table., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a pig, a chicken, and two geese., Text: It's a fact undisputed, you're a soldier boy bold, / And there's no doubt of your kindness of feeling, / We give you our thanks on a cold winter's night, / While we feast on your pickings and stealing., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier rides a horse with his feet are out of the stirrups, his scabbard empty, and his mouth open and frowning., Text: Go it, skedaddler, what a queer sight, / To see a brave (?) soldier run off from a fight; / Whenever you hear there's a sign of a battle, / Your kneepans and toes together do rattle. / The best friends you have they are now getting soured, / On seeing you are such an absolute coward., "518", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds out her infant and smiles. The infant holds a knife and a doll., Text: From early dawn, you love to walk, / And play, and prattle baby talk; / You think that never other lady, / Had half so nice a little baby., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Slouching, the raw recruit, wearing a Union uniform, carries a gun and a rucksack., Text: Among the verdant I've e'er seen / I think you are most jolly green / And if in Dixie horesmen [i.e., horsemen] meet you / I think by gum, some horse would eat you., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two soldiers in Union uniforms are shown. One holds a rifle with bayonet and prods the other one over a fence. "Skulker" is slang for a soldier who feigns injury to avoid duty., Text: Boaster of your deeds of glory / When the shot fell far and near, / The only scar to prove your story / Is from a bayonet in the rear., Cf. 2.21., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier in a red jacket and plumed hat wipes his sword with a cloth. At his feet is a dead goose, and behind him a woman rushes forward holding a poker., With envelope., Text: Oh! valiant son of Mars! dress'd out in uniform, / There's not a hen-roost in the land but you might take by storm; / With drums a beating all the way, methinks I see you wonder, / And now you are the laurels crown'd, for killing an old gander!
The soldier sleeps next to a table on which his sword, a bottle, and cup are visible. His white hair and facial features suggest that he is elderly. He wears blue pants, a blue cap, and a short red jacket, which corresponds with low military rank., Text: Always sleeping at your post, / No wonder battles now are lost; / The folks do wonder how it is, / That with us all things go amiss. / You sleep and snore, cough, blink, and hic! / You're enough to make a damsel sick., "521", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The angry woman beats her philandering lover with a broom as he lies across her lap. A speech bubble by her head reads " HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH THE SERVANT?" as he cries, "Oh! Oh!" The positioning suggests both that he is a child, and she is domineering. The man is contorted, and the woman appears larger than him., Text: It's evident, my angry fair, / Whate'er your wrongs, how much you (bare) bear, / Tho' I would rather not be sharing / My lot with on who's so for-bareing: / Such wives as thee who ever's got 'em, / Will find they're very hard at BOTTOM! / So I for my part would decline / Such a very striking Valentine., Cf. 1.20., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier perched on a picket fence appears to be in pain. He has dropped a piglet. Behind him is a chicken. In addition to a type of fence, "picket" also means dangerous military guard duty. The reference to the hen-house in the text suggests that the soldier has previously been promiscuous., Text: Through many a hen-house you have roved, / And many a pig-stye searched, / At last you've got your just deserts, / Upon a Pick-et perched., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a large man skating as he holds two children in his arms. The child facing front resembles a bull-dog. The verse mocks Irish accents., Text: Be aisy now, darlints, be aisy, I say, / There's swate Widdy Connor skathing this way; / I want to present her these jewels of mine, / And wid them, this gay second-hand Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier with a moustache holds a sword and fires a pistol. Cannonballs have severed his forearm and shin from his body. "Fire-eater" refers to Southern advocates of seccession., Text: Bullet and bayonet! grapeshot and shell! / Nothing of that sort to you comes amiss, / By the moustache that becomes you so well, / You are quite worthy an Amazon's kiss. / Say, do you eat all you slaughter, mon brave? / Ogre-ish, methinks, / is your countenance dread; / Doubtless your sword is a "Secesher" would halve, / After a bullet had gone through his head! / When from the war with a wreath on your brow, / Back to the North you come-- then, if you'll shave, / I will be yours as in heart I am now, / And in the interval long may you wave!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman bends forward towards a crowd of women, in the "Grecian Bend" created by wearing fashionable restrictive gowns and bustles. Behind her are signs that read " The Original Grecian Bend for State Millener" and "The Pink of Fashion, Mme. Lecreme." The Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869. New York city directories for 1867-72 list Fisher and Denison at the same address, noting that Denison lived in Maryland., Text: You're all aflame with woman's right, / And hope thereby to see strange sights; / No place too bold for such a trump-- / You'd even go so far as mount the stump. / If you thus cast all social laws aside, / You'll never be a happy bride., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man turns up his nose as he changes the diaper of a infant lying on his lap., Text: Child-like spooney, here are you, / To your own vacation true; / With the babe upon thy knee, / Drivelling even like to thee. / Wretched papspoon, sawney driveller, / Beggard, hound, and fireside sniveller, / Take this picture to thy sight, / And hang thyself by morning's light., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Three men in uniform carry guns. The first and last men are the same height, and the middle man is much taller and thinner. "Hard tack" was a hard bread used by sailors and soldiers. "Jeff" refers to Jefferson Davis., Text: No doubt you fare rough on salt beef and hard tack, / But that is much better than a ball in the back; / So march to the conflict o'er valley and hill, / And if you meet Jeff, just give him a pill., Variant of Valentine 1.24., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears a bonnet and crinoline over his clothing while he does laundry. The valentine satirizes men who did not fight in the Civil War and characterizes them as cowardly and effeminate., Text: You enlist! not to fight at your dear country's call. / You keep from the field where the brave fight & fall; / A sneak and a coward, and no force or persuasion, / Could make you leave home, but the fact of invasion., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The artillery soldier sits on a large bird with a cannon for its head. He holds his swab in his hand and wears a Union uniform. The sender criticizes the recipient for having killed many people and compares his interest in the cannon to his interest in his pipe., Text: Mister Artillery, how quickly you fly, / How many poor mortals this day have to die; / With your swab in your fist, and your cannon well rammed, / And your pipe with tobacco profusedly crammed. / Just fly from my presence, and that very quickly, / The sight of your face makes a person feel sickly., "526", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a triangular gown and coat. The valentine mocks the crinoline fashion trend, particularly the dirt the skirts attracted in the streets., Pretty lady do not rage / When I say you're in a cage, / By a lot of hoops secured -- / Of it, I am well assured, / Sweep away the side-walks clean, / Of street sweepers, you're the queen., Cf. Valentine 1.41 and Valentine 12.34., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The military bummer, clad in a red coat and yellow pants, has the head of a bulldog. Three Union soldiers stand behind him on one side; two hold rifles with bayonets, and one is drumming. On the other side, an officer stands in front of a tent. A United States flag flies from a flag pole, on which is mounted a sign which reads "Drummed out of Camp for being a Bummer." A "bummer" is a person who avoids duties., Text: He who fights and runs away, / May live to fight another day; / But you did run with all your might, / You did not stay to see the fight., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier sits on top of a toy horse. He wears spurs and a sword, and he has a gray beard and hair. "Dead beat" is slang for soldiers who feigned injury to shirk their duties. The phrase "tainted sore with treason" refers to the soldier's pox-marked face, which suggests sexual promiscuity and venereal disease., Text: A pretty Valentine you look, upon that horse of thine, / But know, my sweet-faced Brigadier, you never can be mine; / Better men than you can ever be, are waiting for your seat, / So throw up your commission, you regular "dead beat." / You never can be popular, for this one simple reason, / The best friends you have got, suspect you're tainted sore with treason., "507", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier carries a rifle and a large rucksack with a canteen, bayonet, and case attached., Text: Behold the conquering hero come, / From rations of hard-tack to rations of rum; / While battles raged you stayed in camp-- / A youthful soldier, but "veteran" scamp., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a musket with a bayonet. His nose is larger than the bayonet, but both have the same shape., Text: When our lines to break, / The enemy tries, / Do let me for once / Your brave spirit advise: / When things look promiscuous, / And are coming to a blows, / Then--away with your musket, / And charge with your nose., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Irishman has copious facial hair, smokes a pipe, and wears knee-breeches. He stands in front of another man and a ship. The "Know Nothings" were an anti-Catholic and anti-immigrant group, and the valentine mocks the Irishman for knowing so little that he would join a group that opposes him., Text: It's Paddy from Cork I am; sure you'll be knowin' me; / And I'm jist over, good manners to tache: / Faith, I'm a know-nothing, and soon I'll be showin' ye / How to git into office, and stick like a lache., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Zouave Union soldier holds a pistol and a sword. Cannon balls fly in the background, suggesting that he is in danger, and foolisth rather than brave., Text: Through leaden rain and iron hail / My Zou-Zou never turns his tail / And though he's often fit and bled / He's sure he's right and goes ahead., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a darkened man with facial hair, yellow legs that may be socks, and caucasian features. He wears a red loin cloth and carries a small ax. Nena Sahib played a prominent role in the Sepoy Mutiny of 1857, and the valentine uses racist and Orientalist references to critique the recipient's behavior and appearance., Text: Savage by nature, and savage by looks, / You scare chambermaids and frighten the cooks. / What a fate is hers that is linked to thine! / I'd rather have Nena Sahib for my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The school mistress holds a book marked "abc a" in front of a group of children. She has pointed features and an enlongated neck. The "Bad One" refers to the devil., Text: Gracious! what your husband would be! / If you only had one!--- / But before that ever could be, / You will see the Bad One! / That you're striking none can doubt, / Not the silliest scholars--- / For in school, when you're about, / Crackee! how they hol-lers!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The country clown holds a rake and stands on grass. He smiles widely and wears a wide-brimmed hat, trousers, shirt, and vest. The text suggests that he speaks a provincial dialect, saying "ye" for "you.", Text: Devoid of breeding, arts, and graces, / Among the greens I'm sure your place is; / To come to town would be a pity, / For I am sure some horse would eat ye., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
