A white man kneels before a racistly depicted African- American man. The African-American man stands on a pedestal and has wings. "Contraband" here means "slave," and the sender rejects the recipient because of his sympathy for slaves. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You love the contrabands too much / To have love left for me, / And therefore you my Valentine / Can never hope to be., "18", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A thin Union soldier in a ragged uniform stands entreating a stout Union soldier in a well-kept uniform., Text: You fat old cuss, give us our grub, / You have our cash to feed us, / You're paid to keep us in good trim, / And not to sponge and bleed us., Variant of 13.20., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The politician hides a bill marked "$100 bribe" behind his back, and he holds a bloodied knife marked "argument" in front of him. He stands at table with a contract on it. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Oh! you're a political rough, rough, / With your bowie-knife, pistol, and bribe. / Now the ballot-box better can stuff, rough, / Than you and your elegant tribe. / And 't is you, who, unless I mistake, take / Proper measures for winning the trick, / And keep your own voters awake, wake, / By touching them with a sharp stick., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a stout woman with a hooked nose holding three dresses in her arms. "Old Clothes" is written behind her. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: My stout Jerusalem artichoke / I greet you with a hearty joke / Because you've cash to lend me when I'm low. / My mind completely rapt it is / Your nose so well adapted is / For snuffing up a bargain of "Old clo'"!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man on ice skates has long mutton chops and holds a walking stick, suggesting that he is a dandy. The valentine encourages enlistment in the Union army and mocks the recipient's unmanly interest in dress and ice skating., Text: Faint-hearted youth! you talk of skating, / And call the sport quite animating; / You say there's nothing half so bracing; / There's naught the manly form so gracing, / As through the icy maze to twine. / But hark! your country's voice is calling, / Treason all her hopes is thralling; / 'Tis manlier games men now delight in, / For God and Liberty they're fighting; / From these I'll seek my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a bouquet of red roses and a sword. In addition to his uniform, he wears a monocle and cap, suggesting that he is a dandy. The sender mocks the recipient's inflated sense of his attractiveness., Text: Swaggering like some great high-grandee, / How d'ye do, my Soldier Dandy; / The girls, you think, no doubt get sweet / On you as you strut through the street. / But they're more apt to think you scamp, / When you're found roaming from your camp., "515", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wearing a Union uniform cowers in front of a bayonet. The text mocks the recipient's cowardice., Text: I believe you would let a man spit in your face, / Or submit to all insults, put up with disgrace; / Your name has become a byword and jeer, / As a poor silly coward, the pattern of fear., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows three men in uniform carrying guns.The first and last men are the same height, but the middle figure is twice their heights and much thinner., Text: Gaunt and slim and bony baby, / You will be promoted -- maybe; / Than your comrades two foot higher, / For what more can you aspire?, Variant of Valentine 5.9., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A drunken Union soldier holds onto a pole and stands in front of a restaurant., Text: My friend, your picture here you see, / A patriotic warlike Soldier, yes, sir'ee! / You love your country, and are its sworn defender, / But love your cocktails, and glory in a bender. / With an army as you to fight, to slaughter, / Jeff. Davis need not fear on land or water., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The cavalryman sits on a much smaller horse and holds his sword out in front of him. The valentine mocks his gluttony., Text: With sword just like a carving knife / As I'm a living sinner / You look just like a hungry man / A charging on good dinner., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union Zouave soldier holds his rifle on his shoulder. Chicken heads peak out from his pants, suggesting that "hens" means "women" in the text., Text: My Zouave is a pretty bird, / He wears a bushy tail; / He never missed secessia's hens, / When one upon their trail. / But now he's gone to / A long way from the snore [i.e., shore], / Where he can never hook the hens, / He gaily hooked before., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The colonel wears a green jacket and red pants, and his uniform is neither Union nor Confederate. He wears a disproportionally long sword in a scabbard and stands in front of a writing desk. He has long sideburns and a thick moustache., Text: When perched on your charger on dress parade / You look as brave soldier as ever was made / If you look but as brave when bullets fly / You Country will love you and so will I., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A buck-toothed woman holds a rolling pin over a man's head, and the image resembles a "Punch and Judy" puppet show., Text: Who will marry such a termagant wife, The plague of her own poor husband's life? / Who distorts all her features with anger and rage, / Yet can't tell the reason why, I'll engage. / To others I such charms resign, You ne'er can be my Valen[tine]., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman entering a carriage and a man standing behind. Her crinoline pulls up her skirt, hitting the man in the head and revealing her legs to him., Text: Go in, my dear-- go it with a rush, / And never mind the hat; / It is not often that I see / So big a leg as that., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier rides a horse without a bridal and clings to its neck. His feet are out of the stirrups, his cap is off, and his sword is in the air., Text:"Bring forth the steed! the steed was brought," / And on his back to mount you thought; / But don't you think for a Dragoon, / That you commenced almost too soon? / Before you bade the ground good bye, / Why did you not a hobby try?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman has two faces, both with pox marks. One side smiles and extends a hand, and one frowns and extends a fist. The valentine possibly refers to promiscuity and sexually transmitted diseases., Text: Avaunt! foul tempress! though you show'd a face / As fair as heart of man had ever charmed, / I see another on the other side, / Deceit has wrinkled, passion has deformed., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine features a man in uniform with a cannon for his head. A wheel rests behind his back, and he holds a lit cord in this hand. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Are you primed and loaded / My bold gunner? / If you only "knowed it" / You're a stunner. / Blow a cloud of smoke / From your muzzle-- / Why it don't you choke / Is a puzzle., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears battle armor made of household objects. He wears a pot as a helmet, brush bristles for epaulets, a lid for a breast plate, and red cannisters over his arms. He carries a broom and a poker from a fire place. Over his pants, he wears crinoline. The valentine satirizes draft dodgers as ridiculous and effeminate., Text: You boast of valor, pluck and grit, / And strong love of the Union -- / You're just the boy to dodge the draft, / And fir for a sneak's communion. / All decent girls view you with scorn, / And treat you with contempt; / When noble men are called for, / You're just fit to be exempt!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union Zouave soldier holds a rifle with a bayonet., Text: You're a gay Zoovey Zoo, with that big beard of thine, / But I think from the army you'd better resign; / A few think you're brave, but a great many say / You're sheet-ironed behind, and you will run away. / If such be the case, it's a very bad sign, / And you never will make a tip-top Valentine., "506", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A cavalry soldier rides a horse with his feet out of the stirrups. He carries a large sword. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You think yourself both bold and brave, of course, / Whene'er you safely gallop down your line; / Yourself as jaded as your wretched horse, / Who'd have a scarecrow for a Valentine?, "11.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A thin Union soldier in a ragged uniform stands entreating a stout Union soldier in a well-kept uniform. The valentine accuses the recipient, a quartermaster, of theft and misappropriation., Text: You fat old cuss, give us our grub, / You have our cash to feed us, / You're paid to keep us in good trim, / And not to sponge and bleed us., Variant of Valentine 8.47., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Her crinoline pulls up the fabric of the Irish domestic's dress as she leans forward and reveals her legs and behind. The verse shames the biddy for her immodesty and does not blame the men watching., Text: An! biddy, dear, do cease to scrub, / And mount a box, bench, chair or tub, / For while you're dusting off the blind, / The boys are peeping up behind., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A sailor rows past a large ship with many male and female civilians on deck. "Tar" is slang for a sailor., Text: Row away, Red, White, and Blue, / Put the vile seceshers through; / Then row back quick, my gallant tar, / To her who waits thee from afar., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a gun and sword. Hemp rope was used for hanging, and the sender rejects the recipient by suggesting that he hang himself., Text: You're a gay old Colonel, that's beyond a doubt, / See front your forehead how your eyes bulge out; / With sword and pistol tight within your hand, / You think, no doubt, you look supremely grand; / Around your neck go place thick hempen twine, / And never hope to be my Valentine., "503", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The man's torso is a barrel of lager that shields him from cupid's arrows. His limbs are covered with armor, and his face is also shaped like a barrel. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]. "Dutchmen" in the verse may refer to either Dutch or German ("Deutsche") men., Text: Little Cupid, don't be stupid, / Thus your darts to shoot away / At the Dutchmen, for on such men / Lost all your wily play, / As they swagger, full of lager, Up and down the cellar-way., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The shop-girl walks holding up her skirt so that it reveals her crinoline. A man watches her and holds his hand to his face., Text: How gracelessly you move along / Like tun-dish upside down! / Pray, stay at home when streets are throng, / Lest some ungallant clown / Might tread upon that wondrous skirt / That sweeps from curb to wall, / And say: 'twas only right a flirt / From pride should have a fall., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds his sword out of its scabbard, and a cannonball smokes near his feet. "Bobadil" means braggart and refers to Captain Bobadil in Jonson's "Everyman in his humor.", Text: All hail thou most terrific-looking fellow, / If hair and bravery now were always twins, / Or those fought hardest who the loudest bellow, / Thou wert the pluckiest of paladins. / But 'tis not so; vainglorious boast and bluster / Are oft assumed to hide a trembling heart, / The quiet men, where serried squadrons muster, / Enact, mid tired and blood, the manliest part., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Jonson, Ben, 1572-1637. Everyman in his humour.
A Union soldier plays a trumpet., Text: When from that horn sweet music flows, / With full melodious swell; / Then, Trumpeter, upon thy form, / My eyes with rapture dwell. / Thy cheeks so round, thy form so fat, / Thy grand majestic mien; / So fill my heart with rapture, that-- / I'm happy as a queen., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds his hand up and raises his pinky finger. In the background, two women watch him., Text: You are a gallant soldier, / With a splendid figure for parade; / The country is safe in your keeping, / So long as you fight in the shade. / I fancy mysefl your beloved! / Wouldn't you have a jolly good time? / I'd make you stand guard over a cradle, / And do double duty to Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds up her skirt revealing her crinoline, or hoop skirt, and petticoats. "Ducky" is a term of endearment, and "timbers" refers to her legs and suggests that they are indelicately large. The sender satirizes the recipient for her immodesty and indelicacy., Text: Hey, ducky dumpling, pray take care, / Your hoops don't give them to much air; / However, cold may be your liver, / Such timbers, ducky, ne'er can shiver., Cf. 5.4, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man is a bird, and a woman is a fish. He opens his beak over her head. The valentine mocks the recipient for trying to marry a younger woman., Text: No fool like an old fool. O! for shame; / Pretending to feel love's hold flame; / The ladies laugh at your ogling eyes, / And shut their ears to your pumped up sighs., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a hoop skirt and floats above the ground. Two men look up at her through a grate, and another man looks at her from a window. A street lamp with a face smiles at her. The sender mocks the recipient's exhibitionism., Text: Oft when seated in the Park, / You wonder what attracts each spark. / To turn and look with such surprise; / "I wonder what attracts all eyes?"/ Alas, alas you little know, / What a show you make below., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a man with a dog's head. He wears boxing gloves labeled "insant death" and "six months illness.". He also wears a monocle and a top hat, which suggest that he is a "puppy," or dandy. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Do you think you ugly man, / Because you're like a black-and-tan, / And a hitter from the shoulder-joint likewise, / That on you the blooming girls, / With their fascinating curls, / Will glance with approbation in their eyes / If you do you're much mistaken, / For it's just as sure as bacon / No fighter can a woman's true love win, / But the soldier-boy whose blows / Fall on his country's foes / When the ring is pitched, the battle-field within., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier runs admidst cannon balls. His cap has come off his head., Text: In every army, great and small, / There is a set of patent blowers, / Who of the work make out to shirk all, / And of their valiant deeds are crowers. / But let a battle once commence, / Away they travel for some tree or fence; / You find their brains too soon are addled, / And you've but to see that they've skedaddled., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits in a chair. He wears fashionable clothing, smokes a pipe, and holds a drink., Text: You're a nice man to think of a wife, / With a phiz that we laugh at round town; / We girls know how you're spending your life, / With your drink and tobacco done brown., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a pair of tongs. Her face is creased, and she frowns. The sender suggests that the recipient's appearance and behavior make her an appropriate wife for the devil., Text: A scolding tongue, a vicious mind, / A face the counter part of evil, / In you we find are all combined, / To make a fit wife for the -----., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The large-nosed boarding-house keeper is very thin. She holds a thin rooster by the neck in one hand and a knife in the other; "Age 65" is written on its body. A speech bubble by her face reads "You'l do/ Old BUZZARD." A butter dish with legs and insects appear in the top left corner. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resembled Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Old mother Skinflint, I know you well, / Your species is common, and mean at that; / You think yourself able to "keep an hotel," / Which in you're too stingy to keep a cat. / Your boarders look yellow and skinny and thin, / Just like the old rooster you feed them on-- / Why don't you hang out, from your sorry inn, / The sign of the "Living Skeleton?", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "shoddy" military contractor is handed a $50 bill and stands in front of a barrell marked "STINKING PORK FOR U.S. ARMY from SHODDY." He says "I CAN'T SEE THAT THE PORK STINKS A BIT," and there a sign behind him that reads "SHODDY INSPECTOR OFFICE.", Text: You can't see it? No wonder you can't, / With a fifty dollar green back in your eye; / The soldier may starve-- the sailor may want, / What cares Shoddy if even they die? / He's a curse to his kind -- his country's worst bane, / Deserving the noose on the hangman's line; / But, alas, you don't get it, and to publish your shame, / Is left alone for this poor Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier runs. His jacket is red, but his belt buckle, marked "US," suggests that he is a Union soldier., Text: The man who would desert his country in her need, / Is so much lost to honor, honesty, and shame, / That after death his corpse should ravens feed -- / That all the world should e'en forget his name., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman walking. The text suggests that the sender will "read" the recipient now that he has read all the books in libraries and bookstores., Text: I have read every Library / And book-store through; / And, since fate decrees it, / I'll read only you., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a bonnet, shawl, and a dress mended with patches. She holds a small parasol., Text: 'Tis not very handy -- of that I am sure-- / To feel what you want -- to know you are poor; / But when poverty aims airs of pride to attempt, / It only can merit our deepest contempt., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits on a chair with an infant on his lap. A bowl marked "pap" [i.e., mashed baby food] is on the table next to him, and the infant reaches for it. The man appears to be changing the baby's diaper., Text: To rock the cradle, make the pap, / Or change the baby's linen, / I plainly see e'er long you'll be, / Much better than the women., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The soldier carries a rifle with a bayonet and wears a Union uniform with a blue coat with tails and epaulets, top hat, and scarf. Behind him, a small dog barks., Text: Bravest of soldiers in fine weather, / A monkey with a cap and feather, / You'd hardly dare to shoot a hog, / And scamper from a little dog., "114", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union foot soldier has very large feet., Text: When in action you are brought, / And the use of bayonets taught; / Then your feet sir, you will prize, / On account of their great size. / For with a pair of feet so large, / You could stand sir, any charge; / Except, perhaps, a cobbler's bill, / And then you'd run with a good will., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman with the "corkscrew tongue" is shown wearing a yellow and red gown, bonnet., Text: Beware of woman, both old and young; / I once had a wife with a corkscrew tongue. / Whenever we disagreed, you see, / she run the 'unruly member' through me, / Cutting me up, stomach and heart -- / 'Twas an awful BORE, and we had to part. / 'Twas an ex-screw-tiating divorce, / But the corkscrew left me no other course. / I send you this, as a warning, in time / To unscrew your long tongue, if you'd have a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier wears baggy, short red pants, a cap with a red crest, and box-like shoes. The valentine mocks the Chasseur's drinking, flirting, and cowardice., Text: Farewell, my bold Chasseur-- / In every lass sir, / A flame, I've no doubt you inspire; / But when in the line / Of the skirmishers fine, / At the show of a flame you'll expire-- / Then take off each trunk. / And make you a bunk, / To lay your head in / When with glory you're drunk., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union sentinel holds a gun and wears a uniform that is too big for his frame, making him appear childish. The sender mocks the recipient and suggests that he will never marry., Ill. signed: B., Text: Say! Lonely Sentinel; when on thy beat, / Do'st ever long the one thou lovest to meet? / Do'st ever wish when though demand'st the pass, / That she that gave the countersign might be thy lass? / Oh! vain is thy hope, and grey will be thy hair, / Before she gives the watchword to "Who goes there?", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A baby with a scrunched face and large ears is held aloft, by an unseen woman with lace cuffs on her sleeves. The valentine states that the soldier will be greeted by the child he fathered as he was going off to war., Text: Here's the boy, my soldier brave, / You left behind you in the dark; / When you victoriously return, / He'll chirp your "welcome" like a lark., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two Zouave Union soldiers run among rifles, pistols, cannons, and cannonballs, one of which is marked rum., Text: Zu-Zu, you made a splendid run, / From Bull-Run fight, to Washington. / By Bully Runners e'er so fleet; / Your feats of legs such wonders/ raised, / That every one has stood amazed. / So, Coward Recreant, Renegade, / Your Valentine I'll not be made., Cf. Valentine 11.50 and Valentine 12.1., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier wearing a rucksack holds a large musket and smokes while he adjusts his glove., Text: Head up, eyes right, every inch a soldier, / Pity that your uniform did not make you bolder; / In the rank of soldier boys, then you'd proudly shine / Terror of your Secesh foes, lord of this heart of mine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
