A dancing woman wears a veil and a brightly colored gown. The first line of the verse alludes to Milton's L'Allegro (1645) and refers to dancing. She wears a necklace and bracelet., Text: To trip it on the light fantastic toe-- / To every ball and rout you wish to go; / Your only loves, my charmer, now confess, / Are but the loves of balls and loves of dress., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a wide head smiles and puts his hands on his hips., Text: Ha! ha! ha! 'tis just your likeness, / And a sweet one sure is this; / Don't you think your grin inviting / All the maids to snatch a kiss?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows the fashionably dressed ladies man with a woman on each arm. He is able to attract women's attention, but the valentine suggest that this attention effeminizes him, as actions like holding shawls and flirting fans are feminine., Text: At church or concert, ball or rout, / You're always sure to be about / To hold a shawl or flirt a fan; / My pretty little "ladies man.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A smirking woman holding a small purse waves a handkerchief over her shoulder. The valentine suggests that a woman who flirts with many men will be a bad wife., Text: You're like a fair young rose bush, / Where each beau plucks a rose, / 'Till nought but thorns are left behind, / To prove the husband's woes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The maiden aunt has masculine features and wears a bonnet and eyeglasses. A cat sits next to her, and a barrel labeled "vinegar" and a jar labeled "pickles" are nearby., Text: You dear old soul! Every day you grow old, / And your face gives comfort to the vinegar jug; / Your virtues are kept like pickles, I'm told. / Bottled up in a bosm nobody can hug; / If in glory hereafter your face becomes divine, / What a miracle must be wrought, O Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The peddler carries two cases and stands in front of a sign that reads "5 miles to [illegible].", Text: Sell your stuffs and laces, / Pedlar, and your [i.e. you're] sure to win; / But take up women's faces, / And sartin you'll be taken in. / But not at Matrimony's door-- Oh, no, / You're far too stiff to make a pleasant [illegible]., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with crooked teeth wears a gown with furbelows and stands in front of a table with portaits of men. A picture behind her features a hammer hitting a heart., Text: O! gentle Heart-breaker, I fear you; / I'll not trust my head, lest you knock it: / No desire have I to be near you; / You shan't break my heart nor pocket., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man holding a bag of money marked "$50,000." The border resembles bank note engraving., Text: You grasping Usurer, you rascally Knave, / Master of Wealth, yet still its slave! / For worlds I would not link my name with thine / For, gold can't purchase a true Valentine., Cf. Valentine 4.29., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man, one half of his body shown as a white man and the other half as an African American man, lectures in front of a small table. He holds an umbrella with his African American hand, as well as wears no shoe on his African American foot., Text: Whew! don't you know that you're played out? That your occupation's gone? Why do you make such fuss about that poor old well-pick'd bone? Or are you lost, so far corrupted, You can't improve 'till re-constructed?
A man and woman walk arm in arm. He wears yellow pants and tie, and she wears a large-skirted walking dress that reveals her feet., Text: I am sure it makes the neighbors talk / To see you when you take a walk / With such a silly dressed up swain, / As no other girl would care to gain, / Although I know it makes you vain / To suceed a beau to gain. / And you no other man could win, / So must be content with him., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man grimaces and closes his eyes. His fingers are long and pointed. He wears a long red coat and a top hat., Text: It seems to be me some men are born / Who only merit wise men's scorn; / Who by mean acts well merit hate-- / Such is your kind and such your fate., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman cook stands in front of a stove and holds the lid of a pot. A policeman, or "Bobby," stands behind her and says, "Pretty cookery.", Text: "Maid of Grease" how fat you, / The plainest surely of plain Cook; / To try your charms on me's no use / For you shall never cook any Goose. / Doubtless you may think it nobby / To win the notice of some 'Bobby;' / But value not his Cupboard love, / Who from cook to cook doth rove; / Lose your place and money, you / Will find you've lost your Bobby too., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man smokes a cigar and holds a glass. He wears curled, elfin shoes. The word "refreshments" appears on the wall behind him., Text: I'm thinking e'er the day is o'er, / You will slip up on ale and wine; / Alas! if you should break your head, / You'd break my heart, dear Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts the head of a woman. She wears eyeglasses, a pink cap, and a blue kerchief. The valentine criticizes older women who look for marriage., Text: In stiffly starched kerchief and cap / Just look at our funny old Grandmother, / Who in her old age strives to catch / A husband in hopes he'll take care of her., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds his hands out defensively. His hair forms devil horns, and he stands in front of a sign that reads "Theatre / The Scornful Man.", Text: You're always turning up your nose, / As if you thought yourself above me, / And all your conduct plainly shows / That you, as you scorn, you could not love me., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man with a rabbit's head. He holds a stick., Text: My dear little fellow, / You most make me laugh, / To look for a wife, / You're too timid by half., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a tiered skirt of ruffles of decreasing size that tapers at the ankles. The style of skirt caused women to lean forward in a Grecian Bend; the Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869., Text: Dear, simpering, fascinating Miss, / It struck me that you looked like this / When last I met you on the street, / In skirt with Grecian Bend replete; / The sight which you present / Would throw the warmest lover off the scent., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds a drink and stands in front of a bar with gin on the shelves. The bartender leans on the bar. The valentine mocks the recipient's aspirations for office and excessive drinking., Text: Blowing 'round the rumholes -- gas, gas, gas-- / Drinking poison whisky -- Oh, what an ass! / Thinking you can wheedle the mass, mass, mass: / Very good-looking, sir, but you can't pass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands in profile. She wears a bonnet and a dress with a bustle. The valentine criticizes the recipient's artifice and pretensions. Bustles became popular after 1869., Text: No husband you will get, though fair, / To meet your expectations, / Unless you cease to put on airs, / And leave off affectation., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The schoolmaster holds a book and a switch in his hands, and he stands next to a bench with a fool's cap on it. The valentine mocks the recipient for courting a younger woman., Text: How now, Master Dominio! what want you here. / I'm sure, I'm too old to be going to school; / And if you are wishing to wed me, my dear, / I'm sure you must take me to be a young fool., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The ship carpenter has a spike-shaped nose and an anchor tattoo on his hand. He hold an axe stands on a piece of wood, and a ship frame is behind him., Text: Spike nosed beauty, man of brads/ Drive the nails and fly the adze: / Big head, wide mouthed, lanky hips, / With legs just like your own spare chips, / For me in vain you thump and chop, / You'll never do for me old block., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits with her hands on her lap. She has a carrot in her hair, perhaps suggesting that she's died it red., Text: UGLIEST of the fair creation, / With carrots for fashion on your head; / Face devoid of animation, / Your lips are blue, instead of red. / Dried and wilted are your features, / They're charmless for this heart of mine; / And if I'd wed you I would be sure / To have no rival Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds a cat o' nine tails whip and a pistol. He frowns, has sharp teeth, and facial hair., Text: I ne'er for a husband a tyrant would have, / Because he would treat me just like some old slave; / And if he should try, his persuasions to urge, / I'm sure it would be 'cross my back with a scourge., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The mischief maker holds an opened envelope and sticks her enlongated nose into it., Text: Sly old peeper, mischief making, / Take care now whose note you're taking; / We've found you out, and so despise you, / And send this warning to advise you., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The grocer stands at a counter and holds a knife in his right hand and extends his left hand. A wheel of cheese is on the counter, and there are containers marked "tea," and "gun" behind him. Another barrel is marked "yhyson" [i.e. "physon" or "physan"], and a barrel marked "gin" is on the floor., Text: Grocer, cheese, and butter dealer, / Sausage seller, and corn mealer-- / Liquor mixer, sugar sander; / In Sunday clothes-- great Alexander / Never thought himself so fine, / As you-- ass-headed, VALENTINE!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a woman with two faces. One smiles, has regular features, and holds out her hand. The other rages, has pointed features, and shakes her fist., Text: So, so, here we have you unmasked, / The truth is too plain to be asked; / Full of scandal, and always lying, / Constantly your tongue is flying; / You backbite the very best of friends, / And injure all to make your ends., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds a magnifying glass to a book with a heart drawn on it. The valentine possibly alludes to sexually transmitted diseases., Text: See what results from passion vile! / Look on this face, what ravage! / Let those beware, who would defile / Their natures like this savage., Cf. Valentine 9.46., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman (possibly a landlady) holding a large key and looking through a large keyhole. A sign behind her reads: "Lodgings Cheap & nasty." The valentine criticizes those who invade privacy through spying and associates this behavior with proprietors and lodgers at cheap lodgings., Text: The key to many a tale profound / Of strange intrigues and artful dodgings, / Is in the Keyhole to be found -- / As all should know who live in lodgings., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A grocer stands at a counter and holds a piece of food. Behind him is a pile with rounds marked "cheese", "live", and "oil." On the other side of the counter stands a small child and a container marked "sour milk." The valentine accuses the recipient of selling rotten foods., Text: You doubly green old grocer, go, / With teeth blue as your indigo; / Your milk's as sour as your face, / Your cheeks hang down in mouldy grace, / Where pimple worms sport round with ease, / Just like the maggots in your cheese; / Your foul meats, like your green eyes, shine, / You carrion of a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman with pointed, enlongated features and crossed eyes., Text: I do not fear ghosts. I have no dread / Of those who in churchyards stalk; / Yet I would not wish to see your head. / Start up in my lonely walk., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a dress with a high neckline; her corsage and handkerchief suggest that she may be at a social function.. She slouches against a wall between and door and a picture frame, and her nearly closed eyes and open mouth suggest that lack of intelligence accompany her manners and money., Text: Politeness and dress, in this gay world of ours, / Are considered the tests of gentility; / But we commonly find a great lack mind, / Where the're found with so much amiability., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The author occupies a small part of the valentine. His hands are on his hips, and his legs are wide apart. His face is pinched, and his nose is large., I am a gay author / Of books not a few; / And I long to be read / And approved of by you., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The mason holds a trowel and a bottle marked "brick." The text refers to his putting a brick in his hat on Saturday night (slang for getting drunk). The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Among the brick the mason revels. / With his trowel and line, his levels and bevels, / He bricks up this, and he bricks up that, / And, on Saturday night, puts a brick in his hat., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The man of letters has a rodent's face and tail. He wears knee-breeches, a coat, and cravat. He holds his top hat and a letter in his hands., Text: In a golden lace and fancy plush, / You look finer than your betters, / And take great airs upon yourself, / Since you've grown a man of letters., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The druggist holds a pestle above a mortar. Medicine bottles, books, and a skull on are the shelves behind him., Text: Thou Esculapian, half-starved wretch, / Thou nostrum vender of the pill, / The Sexton's friend -- thou shar'st his fees / With victims that thy physic kill. / Unfit to tend an ailing cat, / Or to a jackass give relief: / Thou'll' ne'er suit me, you nauseous spook, / Of human lives a legal thief., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits at a telegraph board with ticker tape around him. A clock hangs on the wall behind him, and in the background another man reads a ticker tape. The first telegraph message was sent in 1844., Text: O Mighty Operator on the little wire. / A liking I might have for you, / If you were not such a liar.. / But, out of an hundred words, / Of lies there's ninety-nine! / A man with such a [illegible]., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The lawyer has a long nose and a bald spot on top of his head. He holds a piece of paper marked "Bill of." The sender rejects the recipient's marriage proposal., Text: In Hymen's Court you've filed your plea, / In suit on your behalf of me, / But be it known to your vexation, / That No is my fixed declaration., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with a cat's head holds a mouse by its tail. She holds up her apron and has a shocked expression on her face. The sender suggests the recipient's gentleness is a facade., Text: Though for your gentleness, / You have gained much applause, / I am afraid if mad, / You'd quickly show your claws., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"All Tongue" depicts a large woman in the foreground. Her mouth is open, and she points her finger toward the man covering his ears in the background. The text chastises women who speak too much., Text: Chattering, chattering, all day long, / Driving all mad with your senseless tongue; / Hung in the middle, it rattles away, / But "talkers are doers, but seldom" they say., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The brakesman operates a wheel from behind a train grill. He wears a red hat, yellow trousers, and a short green jacket. He has a beard and moustache., Text: "Down brakes," don't come with so much dash, / Or else I fear there'll be a smash -- / Not of my heart, but your head, I fear; / For know, young man, the brake's not clear., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "Old Deceiver" holds books marked "Tracts" and "Bible," suggesting that he is a religious figure. He looks over his shoulder at a group of women. The sender criticizes the recipient for religious hypocrisy., Text: You are an old sinner, / Though different you seem; / Your love is all worldly; / In your eye is the beam., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The ugly hatter stands at a table ironing top hats. "Gossamer" refers to the shellacked muslin pieces that shaped silk hats. "Swipes" is slang for copious drinking, and "logwood" is a type of dye. "Judy" is slang for a ridiculous woman, and the sender suggests that the recipient could only marry such a woman., Text: Ah, now I well know what it was that I smelt-- / 'Twas the bottle-nosed, rabbit-mouth'd dealer in felt. / Mother Judy might marry such fellows, but I / Detest such a dabbler in logwood and dye. / Thought your head is so big, 'tis of gossamer rig-- / All bloated and puff'd, like a measly pig. / Beastly swiller of swipes, what a picture is thine! / Bad luck to the girl who is your Valentine!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The hatter has a small body, pointed ears, and enlarged head, which the text mocks. He holds a large hat in front of a box that reads "Gossamers 419." "Gossamer" refers to the shellacked muslin pieces that shaped silk hats. There is an iron on top of it., Text: So proud of your flimsy stuff, / A sun and rain shed; / Go, make one hat big enough / To hide your own head., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The bow-legged ostler stands in a stable in front of a donkey in a stall. He holds a girth and wears riding breeches and a vest., Text: Chuckle head, stupid, / Just like your brother there; / Faith, it's a puzzle, / To tell one from t'other there., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man applies paste to wallpaper. A tub marked paste is behind him, and scrolls of wallpaper surround him., Text: You look so well with brush and paste, / And pipe stuck in your jaw! / The lady has a shabby taste, / Who could refuse your paw, / A man like thee who quickly can / Clothe in fair beauty's dress / Her mansion walls, and stately halls / In robes of loveliness., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with a sharp, thin nose sits at sewing machine., Text: You know it is so, that you are but sew-sew, / Yet you smirk, all the young beaux to wheedle; / Though shirt bosoms you pierce, yet a human's no go, / For your nose is as sharp as your needle., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds a fork with a fish on it over a fire. Next to the fire are a small sauce pan and toasting fork. A cat stands behind the chair., Text: Mean, snivelling, sneaking, garret bred, / Cat-lick'ed, and shotten herring fed; / What right can such a thing as you, / Presume a woman's love to woo? / Starve where you may, this picture see, / Poor drivelling knave, you don't starve me., Cf. 6.31., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A bricklayer holds a level to a wall of bricks and a trowel in his other hand. "Hod" means a trough used to carry bricks or coal., Text: With plummet and rule, here's a bricklaying fool; / A can's his delight, and a trowel's his tool-- / And just as the plummet consists of hard lead, / Even so are the brains that you have in your head; / Oh Cupid beware, or perchance you grow sick, / To see such a gulpin pile brick upon brick, / Go man of the hod, I prithee go quick, / Your mould is all crooked, your mortar won't stick., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man holding a small child in one arm and a chamber-pot chair in another. The child says "poop dad de." A woman observes them from behind a curtain. The name Caudle refers to a popular "Punch" magazine character (Mrs. Caudle, a "curtain lecturer") serialized in 1845. The valentine advocates withholding sexual and procreative activity as a means of punishing a controlling wife., Text: Caudle, though you're a very clever, / As a nursery maid, / Still dear Mistress Caudle ever / Will her spouse upbraid. / Then while you nurse each pledge of love / which your sweet charmer bore; / Have your revenge, and swear by jove, / You'll not make any more., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Punch (London, England).
A man stands behind the counter in a dry-goods shop. He leans forward on his hand and stares intently, with wide eyes, at the women who frequent the store. Signs in front of the counter read "Fancy goods, etc." and "Bargains", and a sign on the wall reads "Goods of all kinds cheap at any price. Give us a call.", Text: You staring, dull-eyed booby, you think you're the dude of the town, / But there is not a girl who see you, but thinks you a boorish clown. / You measure only the cheapest goods, both second-hand and new, / But the cheapest stuff that you handle, is worth much more than you. / With a starvation rate along, behind the counter you strut, / And long your boss will keep you there, of the girls to be the butt., Similar to Comic Valentine 3.2, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
