A man carries a yoke with two buckets. One is labelled chalk and the other water. Milk means to take undue profit and the use of "cream" and "surface" suggest that the milkman is cheating his customers by adulterating his product so that it looks like milk., Text: Bawling about the streets you go, / With noisy cry of milk Be—low, / BE-LOW indeed the MILK must be, / We none upon the SURFACE see, / For it is plain you never fail / To milk the cow with the iron tail. / Of all the MILKMEN I have seen, / Of roguery you are the CREAM., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A blacksmith stands at his anvil, using a hammer and tongs. His face is dirty and he is smoking a pipe. The valentine suggests that the smith's trade will prepare him for Hell in the afterlife., Text: A sketch of your visage, so ugly and cross, / Here behold, Mr. Blacksmith, of botches the Boss. / It can’t be disputed a wise choice you made, / When you took for a calling your black, sooty trade ; / For ‘tis well ere you die to get used to things hot, / In view of what surely will then be your lot., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
The ugly hatter stands at a table ironing top hats. "Gossamer" refers to the shellacked muslin pieces that shaped silk hats. "Swipes" is slang for copious drinking, and "logwood" is a type of dye. "Judy" is slang for a ridiculous woman, and the sender suggests that the recipient could only marry such a woman., Text: Ah! now I well know what it was that I smelt, / It was the bottle-nosed, rabbit-mouthed dealer in felt. / Mother Judy might marry such a fellow, but I-- / Detest such a dabbler in logwood and dye, / Though your head is so big-- 'tis of gossamer rig-- / All bloated and puffed, like a measly pig, / Beastly swiller of swipes-- what a picture is thine-- / Bad luck to the girl who is your Valentine., See similar print, A Hatter, Comic Valentines, 4.40, Provenance: Helfand, William H.
A jockey stands at a bar drinking from a beer tankard with a dog standing attentively at his side. In the background, a bartender stands behind the bar across from a woman who grins and holds a glass., Text: Alas, poor man, thy suit of plush, / Has fairly turned thy brain I ween, / But if thou art a man, Oh! blush, / To be a thing so very mean, / Oh! Jockey of the spotless clothes, / Oh! Jockey of the gundy plush, / Oh! Jockey with the turn up nose, / I pity thee and for thee blush., Provenance: Helfand, William H.
The carriage driver has a large nose, a beard and curly hair. He holds a horse whip and a woman watches him from a window in the background. "Shoful" is slang for questionable., Text: Although you drive a Hansom, a handsome driver you are not, / For your looks are very "shoful," and your's is a shabby lot; / So drive away dear Cabby, and don't cast sheep's eyes at me, For I like a smarter chap than you -- your "fair" I'll never be, Provenance: Helfand, William H.
A man is painting a sign with a large brush. The sign is untidily painted and the man is spilling paint from the pan he holds. This, combined with the pipe he is smoking and the patches on his pants, suggest his work is generally slipshod., Text: You wretched, worthless bungler, to see you try to paint, / I'm sure would spoil the temper of even a first-class saint, / For you cannot lay a color, and the letters you design, / Look like a lot of scare-crows drawn up in a line ; / You're a dirty, mussy dauber, without a bit of taste, / And a building with a sign of yours is thoroughly defaced., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A tailor sits cross-legged, sewing a button onto a pair of pants. The tailor is smoking a pipe and a half-empty mug of beer sits next to him. On the wall behind him, "Old Misfit" and "Shoddy Suits Made to Order" suggest that the quality of his work is poor., Text: You cross-legged sinner, you botchy old beat, / All that you care for's to cozen and cheat, / Your cloth is all shoddy, and your sewing is such / That the clothes comes to pieces almost at a touch ; / The buttons fall off, the colors all fade, / And only fools, more than once, with you would trade., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man with an oversized bald head smiles broadly. The text indicates that his baldness is an outward sign of his inner deficiencies., Text: You have got a great big head, but it’s only filled with air. / It hasn’t enough of substance to produce a growth of hair. / You’ve got a smile upon your face, but we have heard before, / You get it from a bottle when you sneak behind the door. / You’re only an old milk sop, and of either sense or wit, / No one will e’er accuse you of having the smallest bit., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A driver who has falled from his cart sits on the ground. His hat has fallen off, he has dropped his whip, and his clothes are torn at the knees and elbows. His horse is running away with the cart int he distance and the boxes of cargo have fallen off. The text indicates that he is careless because he drinks too much., Text: You stupid old donkey, just from the bogs, / You’re only fit to drive, a drove of western hogs, / You always are loaded, and so much more of late, / That your tongue seems a brick and you cannot see straight, / Your horses get scared – for their blinders don’t blind them, / When they see such a sot, on the truck-load behind them., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A bent-backed carpenter is using a plane. His pants are mended with a patch and his nose is red and dripping. A saw, chisel, hammer and other tools are on the floor of his shop., Text: Come, stand erect and plain away, my beau of sawdust, chips and shavings, / St. Valentine’s, that happy day, is hastening round to ease your ravings; / Then don’t be downcast, see above, a sketch I’ve made of your sweet features / Then come and wed, with love for love, we’ll prove to all, we’re Cupid’s Creatures., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man sits at a desk, writing with a quill pen. His eyes are closed and his nose has fallen into his inkpot, suggesting his work is exhausting., Text: You poor pen driver, with your inky fingers, / Constant drudgery still o'er you lingers, / The plan of your future I plainly can see, / A slave to your books and bottle you'll be., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man in a coat and top hat and bear are separated by bars. The man's head is turned away from the bear and the bear is looking at the man. The text characterizes the man as having dangerous animal qualities, and the placement of the two figures poses the question of who is really the beast in a cage., Text: A Bear, what is it but a surly brute? / A pest to women, above dispute, / A surly brute are you, none can deny, / Also a nuisance to society, / Therefore, old Growler, I do decline / To Bruin be a Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man in a coat and top hat and bear are separated by bars. The man's head is turned away from the bear and the bear is looking at the man. The text characterizes the man as having dangerous animal qualities, and the placement of the two figures poses the question of who is really the beast in a cage., Text: A Bear, what is it but a surly brute? / A pestto women, above dispute, / A surly brute are you, none can deny, / Also a nuisance to society, / Therefore, old Growler, I do decline / To Bruin be a Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
The valentine depicts a woman in a booth labeled "Vote the Ladies Union Ticket." The woman inside of the booth reaches out to a hesitant man. The text and image criticize woman's rights advocates for not recognizing their proper places and suggests that such women are not desirable sexually or socially. The woman appears to be wearing a bustle; bustles became popular after 1869., Text: Among the women who in history brightest have shone / Are those who have left the men's affairs alone, / Who in their homes have found their proper places, / And sought not in crowds to show their faces; / We see you seek a different line-- / You are too bold to be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The fop wears a large, triangular frock coat, top hat, gloves, and thin trousers. His hair is curled, and he carries a switch cane., Text: A shining black hat, and glossy shirt collar, / A coat, pants and vest of cut most divine, / A little switch cane, you really would make for / Your tailor, a beautiful traveling sign., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The old maid wears a yellow and red ball gown with lace gloves. She holds up her skirt to dance. She has numerous wrinkles., Text: Of all the olds maids that ever I knew, / There never was one half so jolly as you; / A mistake there has been, I am much afraid, / You ne'er were intended to be an old maid., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man in a top hat and tails standing at a counter marked "Tailor." The valentine suggests that the dandy should amend his behavior in order to attract women., Text: Little dandy, don't suppose, / Any girl will favor / You, just for your suit of clothes, / Try--suitable behavior., "501", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in the form of a pig rides a bicycle. The valentine criticizes him for unmannerly behavior., Text: We never need / To ask your breed, / It shows so plain in word and deed, / And your face so well reveals the story ; / But when we deal / With you on a Wheel / More strongly than ever you make us feel / That here's a HOG in all his glory., Provenance: Helfand, William H.
A man with disheveled hair sits at a table with his chin resting on one hand. In the other hand, he holds a handkerchief., Text: O! you sigh for a wife-- how funny / No a girl must be flat indeed, / Unless you had mints of money, / To take up such a broken reed., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A seated man sews a sock by candelight., Text: This picture I send, to show you your end, / The end of not only a few-- / Old Nick I intend as your intimate friend, / For the devil serves thus such fellows as you. / Alas, you poor fool! 'tis plain to be seen / That one thus to live, indeed, 'tis a sin: / There's plenty to have you, if you only knew it, / 'Tis certain, indeed, you never would rue it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The bachelor walks holding a large umbrella under his arm. His nose and chin point towards a statue of a naked woman., Text: Your buttonless shirt, and ragged coat sleeves, / Proclaim you to be an old Bach; / Pray hunt up some young maid, I really believe / If you tried, you would soon make a match., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands with her eyes half open. The sender mocks the recipient's desire for marriage., Text: It is not good for a man to be alone, / Nor woman either-- so you're always sighing; / So you will strive to be the rib of one / Good man, if you should even die in trying., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "Old Bachelor" sits on a stool in front of a fireplace. He holds a toasting fork, and a kettle sits near the fire. His appearance is generally ragged, with an overgrown beard, disheveled hair, and holes in his socks., Text: O! poor old Bach; you must be lonely, / Your stake in life is small; / I look at you, and wonder only / How you exist at all., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Caption title., Signed: P. Swellhead, sec'y. M. Bacchanal, treas'r. Nic. Bacchus, pres't. Joe Blower, cashier., Henry De Marsan was located at 60 Chatham Street in New York from 1864 to 1877., Printed area, including ornamental border, measures 22.9 x 13.8 cm., Formerly part of the American Song Sheet Clippings Scrapbook., Part of the McAllister Collection., Cataloging funded by a grant from the National Endowment for the Humanities (PW-506-19-10), 2010-2012., Digitized by Alexander Street Press for Images of the American Civil War.
Date
[between 1864 and 1877]
Location
Library Company of Philadelphia | Books & Other Texts | Rare sm # Am 1864 Rules 5797.5.F.1 (McAllister)
A woman stands with her hands on her hips and her nose turned up. She flexes her right arm. The woman has pox marks on her cheek. The valentine possibly alludes to sexually transmitted diseases., Text: See what results from passion vile! / Look on this face, what ravage! / Let those beware, who would defile / Their natures like this savage., Cf. Valentine 9.47., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a gown with furbelows and holds her nose up. A peacock stands next to her. The sender rejects the recipient because of her vanity., Text: With head in air, and peacock pride, / So vain and empty, loving show; / On you the gentle name of bride, / I certainly would not bestow., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a large-chested man walking in a field. He holds a top hat., Text: You conceited old fogie, with face of Brass, / By nature intended for an ass; / But ape the Biped of two-legged kind, / With stomach, all a bag of wind. / Seek for thy wife in Afies clime, / And be her faithful Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The belle's dress is bell-shaped. She carries a parasol. The valentine uses slang, and it emphasizes that the belle is very talkative and uses such slang., Text: My parents named me Is-a-bel, / And fashion says I be a belle; / My clatt'ring tongue thumpbump pell-mell, / The same to every ear will tell; / Now see my flounces cut a swell, / Now hear the jingle, ding, dong, bell., Cf. Valentine 8.37 and Valentine 12.34., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A girl sits holding a book marked "grammar." A picture of a man is tucked inside of the book., Text: Spell Cat, my chubby little imp -- / "M A N, Cat," replied the girl -- / Thus, just as soon as they can limp, / Their thoughts, like flowers, to love impart., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A child's nurse holds an infant, and a young boy stands next to her and waves. She wears an apron, bonnet, and dress, and she sticks out her tongue., Text: A gay jolly soldier I always delight in, / He's ready for dancing, or singing, or fighting; / But when ladies essay it, I firmly decline, / As I see you have joined the infant-ry line., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands at attention and holds his musket and bayonet. A "regular" soldier refers to a member of the standing army. The sender rejects the recipient because of the restrictions he would place on his wife and the "regular," or boring lifestyle it would result in., Text: My love is a regular man -- / A man with a regular way; / He means to regulate me -- if he can, / When he gets his regular pay. / But I'll be no regular's wife, / No! no! not for all creation; / For who could enjoy married life, / When bound to a mere regulation., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman has devil horns and a tail, and her face and hair are blackened. She points to a fire., Text: Faces may be fair and round, / Tongues may be soft and clear; / But hearts when black, unmask'd are found / As I have pictur'd here., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a deck of cards, dice, dice cup, and a wine goblet with a snake in it., Text: There's mischief in both card and dice, / Or goblet, filled to brim; / The're [i.e. they're] only tricks made by Old Nick, / To draw men down to him., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A ice skating woman with her legs turned in flails her arms to regain her balance. Her skirt billows up to reveal her legs. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Though puggy of nose and void of grace, / Lanky of limb -- in feature wan; / The thought with each must have a place, / That something you are like the swan. / Ask not of me the reason why, / 'Tis breathed upon the chilly wind; / 'Tis echo'd by the skater's cry, / "A Swan! see, down on her behind!", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears a jacket with "USA" printed on it. He stands in front of a gravestone. Another man sits at a table with a glass and decanter on it., Text: That Northern man that so much honor lacks / That he would stab his brethren in their backs, / Is worse by far than he who boldly fights / Against his country, e'en for fancied rights., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman sewing a dress. Both the woman's dress and the one she sews have red bodices and yellow skirts, but the one she sews has a lower neckline and shorter sleeves. The sender mocks the recipient for her status as a single woman., Text: My ugly old maid, how sad is your lot, / To work on some fine wedding gown, / And know all the while, live as long as you may, / You'll never have one of your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man with a waxed moustache, glasses, and a top hat. He stands in front of a man and woman. The valentine mocks the lounger for his unattractive idleness, superficial criticism of others, and transparent attempts to be near women., Text: Lounger! ambling 'round the places / Where the ladies congregate, / Critic of their forms and faces; / By them despised, you silly pate., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a tapered, bustled, ruffled skirt that forces her to bend forward in the Grecian Bend. She holds a small parasol and wears a hat. The valentine mocks the recipient for thinking her fashionable dress is attractive to men. The Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869., Text: A slave to Fashion's tyrant laws, / You court each silly fop's applause; / Did you but know what I can see, / How shocked, I fancy, you would be. / You will, I hope, leave off this style, / Your dress provokes a pitying smile., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A thin man has a crane's head. He wears a blue jacket and cravat. He carries a large red syringe and has a medicine bottle in his pocket., Text: Mr. Pill with a very long Bill, / If my soldier laddie gets hurt, / If you don't cure him quick, I will tell you right slick, / You are brother-in-law to your Squirt., Variant of 2.39., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman has a snake's body and a pointed tongue., Text: Deceitful reptile! vain thy every art-- / To captivate my eye, or charm my heart; / For even change your skin, you'd be, at last, / Nought but what now you are-- a snake in the grass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in sleeping clothes stands next to a child seated in a chair. His wife sleeps in the bed behind them. "Gaby" means "simpleton.", Text: You, poor molly-coddling spooney fool, / This is a picture true to life: / Showing you in your shirt, so cool / With your baby, while calmly sleeps / your wife. / But you are just served right in that; / The only one we pity, is the blessed baby; / And if I was your wife, -- I tell you flat: / You would get something worse, you / stupid gaby., Cf. Valentine 13.43., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears rustic attire and a wide-brimmed hat. He holds a long walking stick and stands next to a fence. The figure's posture, expression, and facial features are androgynous, and the valentine associates being "lovesick" with effeminancy., Text: Cease your sighing day and night, / Moping like a lovesick dove, / Go 'list, and serve the Right, / And prove yourself worthy of my love., Signed: Green., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Green.
A man sits at a table and drinks rum through a straw. A bartender stands at a bar in the background. "Sucker" refers to both an excessive drinker and an easily cheated person., Text: A sucker, when you were young, / A sucker, when older you've grown; / And thus, in good sooth, is plain for to see / No matter, how old, a sucker you'll be., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A young man wears a stove-pipe hat, red jacket, and boots, marking him as a Bowery B'hoy, or young working class man from the Five Points neighborhood in New York City. He stands in front of another male figure who smokes a pipe and wears a stove-pipe hat. "Get the bag" means to be fired., Text: Each swollen eye, each dirty rag, / Of brawls and battles tell us; / You seek my heart -- you'll get the bag, / And won't get nothing else., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A frowning woman casts a shadow that resembles the Devil., Text: No meek exterior shall hide / The Pharisaic soul of pride: / Hypocrite -- turn thine eyes within, / Nor longer look abroad for sin., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two men stand in front of a staircase. Above it are signs that read "Saloon/ Wines" and "Clam Soup." One man has his hand on the other's back., Text: Where're you are met, in tavern or street, / You're waiting to see if some one will treat; / You'll ask friends to drink, and then walk away, / And leave them behind for the liquor to pay., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman walks her small black dog. She wears an ornate gown, a flowered bonnet, and eyeglasses., Text: With the most ugly of all faces, Go on, and mimic all the graces: / How can you think, when in the street, The laughing, giggling men you meet, / That every laugh is but a smile, And that they love you all the while? / Good-bye, old maid-- without a clog, Go through the mud-heaps with your dog; / I don't know which I like the least, You or your dirty little beast., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man is seated in a cart pulled by a running horse. Two ships are in the background, one with a steam engine, and one with masts and sails. The valentine implies that the recipient presses the sender to engage in premarital sex. The sender rejects him because she does not believe he will marry her., Text: G'lang ole hoss -- high up, my spunky one! / Show 'em you'll do it -- can't you, though -- get on! / Allow me, sir, to interrupt you, -- do: / And, as you are, I will be EXPRESS, too; / I can't be pressed to favor your address, / And trust you'll make your pressing suit EX-PRESS., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a Union general standing by a table. Casting a glance over his shoulder, he writes "Despatch [i.e. dispatch] No. 10,000" on a piece of paper. The sender criticizes the recipient's competency as a military leader., Text: Oh high and mighty general, I don't know where your match is. / Especially as regards the manufacture of dispatches; / In every one's opinion, you would make a first rate clerk / Who would have to do much thinking, and but very little work. / You had better take a friend's advice, resign your situation, / Or your general imbelicity will bring general indignation., "527", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "country pumbkin" is shown from the waist up. He carries a green pumpkin (or other squash) and wears a green top hat, blue jacket, and red vest. His mouth is open, either yawning or yelling. "Pumpkin" is a derogatory term for an important person., Text: Oh you poor corn-fed country Elf, / Behold the picture of thyself. / Hither come to make love's vows, / Better stay at home and feed your cows. / A city life will never do / For a stupid Hound like you, / Go hoe your corn and feed your swine / And keep your pumpkin for a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
