The saloon girl holds a large tray carrying pudding with forks in it. "SALOON" is written behind her. The sender mocks the recipient for her oily hair., Text: Beautiful waiter-girl, are you aware / That the pudding you carry, (all suet), / Is capital dressing to put on the hair? -- / Yes, your head looks as though you well knew it!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands stitching a large piece of cloth. The valentine uses "tailor" as a derogatory term, suggesting that the recipient fails at making himself more attractive by boasting of his connection with sailing., Text: Soon as the early day is dawning, / There you are stitching some old awing [i.e., awning]-- / 'Tis true, you work for the bold sailor, / But you are every inch a tailor! -- / Expect not ever then to be, / More than you are, just now to me., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a short Union soldier with a large helmet., Text: You say you'd march through thick and thin, / Through fair or stormy weathers, / But I'm inclined to think we'd find / You all fuss and feathers., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The quack doctor has a skull for his head and holds a large sword labeled "bleeder" and a paper marked "BILL 5,00000." An arm bleeds into a bowl, but it is not attached to a body. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", "I do not like you, Doctor Fell," / Is an old line, as you've heard tell, / And sharply, still, the case it touches / Of the foul quack, who says as much as, / "This is my game, let no one block it, / Blood from arm-- and from the pocket!", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Brown, Tom, 1663-1704, I Do Not Love Thee, Dr Fell.
A farmer gives grain to a small bird. He has moles and errant facial hairs. The valentine puns on the meanings of green and implies that the recipient is inexperienced and a bad farmer., Text: A farmer's life's the life for me, / A farmer's lad I mean to be; / So sweet to go, at early morn, / And give the little chicks their corn; / To milk the pigs, and shear the cows, / And see the 'punkins' on the boughs; / To gaze on all the lovely scene, / And be, just like the landscape, green., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands in a contorted position with his head between his legs. He wears a Zouave uniform and holds a pistol and rifle with bayonet., Text: Lay low, lay low, my jolly boy, / You're enough for any rebel, / And should they see you in this fix, / They'd surely think you were the devil., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Boarding House Landlady has pointed teeth, a hooked nose, and grimaces. She holds a long bill marked "Board bill" and points to trunk marked "SAM." Behind her is a sign that reads "Boarding." She wears an apron, bonnet, and red shawl., Text: Behold yourself! Mistress of Starvation Hall, / Whose beds are like boards-- as hard as a wall; / You who stint your poor boarders of what's on the table, / And make your bill as long as ever your able., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man is a weathercock, with his legs and arms indicating direction and the center spire going through his torso., Text: The weather-cock that turns it face / With ever wind that blows, / An emblem of a class of men / As uncertain as the drifiting snows; / Although his points he argues well, / And promises so very fair, / Yet like the sprightly Paddy's flea, / You'lt always find he isn't there. / I've brought this fact to your attention, / To show you are of the class I mention., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man with a frog-like appearance gesturing expansively. He wears a top hat and holds a walking stick., Text: The sun supplies the painter's place, / And pictures true your manly face; / The girls who see this phiz hereafter, / Will die of love -- or else of laughter., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows an overweight woman with ringlet curls. Her gown is low cut., Text: "Fat, fair and forty," I have heard / As terms of half praise; on my word / I could not say the same of you, / Fat, ugly, lazy, is too true., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with an ill-tempered expression stands with her hands on her hips., Text: 'Tis my belief that God created wives / To sweeten all the troubles of men's lives; / But surely, you exert your utmost power, / To poison his best joys and turn them sour., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A large woman in bed holds her arms up and yawns., Text: My pretty maid, to me it seems, / You're always in the land of dreams; / Take my advice and never wed -- / Your mate should be a feather bed., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands with his fists raised to fight. The term "b'hoys" marks him as a young working class man from the Five Points neighborhood in New York., Text: In quarrels, and fights, are your only delights, / Or in making most hideous noise; / I'm sure you'll not doubt, when I say, you're about / The worst example, of one of the "B'hoys.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A goose wears a Union jacket, carries a rucksack, holds a gun, and smokes a small pipe., Text: Pray tell me if you can, whatever was the use / Of your going for a soldier? Eh, you silly, green old goose; / You should have staid at home with your friends, my pretty creature / Instead of going 'mongst your foes, who'll kill and maybe eat yer. / With war's chances all against you, there's no telling how you'll die, / Things won't look so lovely, if, dear goose, you should hang high., "519", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a plaid gown with a low neckline that reveals her breasts. Her crinoline billows up, revealing her petticoat. She pulls back a yellow blanket, possibly before getting into bed. The text suggests that she is sexually promiscuous., Text: You shall not sigh your hours away, / For you're the gayest of the gay; / You love the concert and the dance, / Life's pleasures they so much enhance. / Full many a stricken, ardent beau, / Has oft' pronounced that you're not slow, / You do the warmth of love excite, / And charm me with hope of fond delight., Cf. Valentine 5.41., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman has a codfish for a head and wears a gown. She holds out a slip of paper and a fan. "Cod-fish aristocracy" was a derogatory term for New Englanders whose family wealth originated in maritime businesses., Text: Fair dame, your fishery portrait here you see, / One of the Codfish Aristocra-she; [prouder / Lest your soup-erior wealth should make you / I leave you to the friends of Codfish Chowder., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a knife and a book marked "Tragedy." Her gown is trimmed with ermine and torn. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught." Charlotte Cushman was a prominent actress in the nineteeth century., Text: Who are you, rampaging stranger / Who upon our sense burst? / Lady Macbeth courting danger / Mid the "murrderrerrs accurrst?" / Cleopatra? Charlotte Cushman? / Or old Hamlet's awful queen? / Or some wild outlandish bushman / Half-way girl and boy between? / Decked as you as with ermine skin and bloody/ dagger, / A pretty waiter-girl you'd make to serve out / Lager., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits with her hands folded and her head down., Text: Oh! I can't think of you, my dear little darling, / You're all the time fawning, and fretting, and snarling; / So take my advice, now, and don't be forgetting, / Youl'll not get a husband, my charmer, by fretting., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The literary man sits at a table. His nose is dark (from drinking?) and he cradles his head with a hand holding a quill. In one corner of the table is a spike with papers through it (i.e., bills?) and on the other corner is a book titled Webster (i.e., Webster's Dictionary?). His trashcan is full, and the valentine suggests that it is difficult for him to write and what he does write is of low quality., Text: With slipshod feet, and coat with elbows out, / You daily sit, and with your scribbling quill, / Indite strange tales and trashy stuff, with which / Poor idle maids their simple minds may fill., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a woman sewing a pair of breeches with a pile of completed breeches next to her. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Hard is thy lot, my honey dear / On soldier's pantaloons aye working, / And yet this thought is so funny, dear, / Within my wicked mind is lurking / Far fitter you than cannon balls / Breaches to make in fortress walls., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a Union officer holding his sword out of its scabbard. There is a cannon ball near his foot., Text: My valiant gory son of Mars, / The way I love is a sin; / If you want me, the Stripes and Stars / Defend, and then go in and win., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman's walking dress reveals her legs and her crinoline. The verse mocks the structure of crinoline, which resembled a cage. She wears black boots, a blue coat, and red cap., Text: Behold her pompous, lofty stride, / With her boots, and hoops ten feet wide; / We'll step aside and let her pass, / A bladder filled with wind or gas, / A petticoat made like a cage: / The monster is so huge in size, / And her dress sticks so far out! / The whirling winds now fill her sail., Cf. 2.32., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier carries a drum. A crow flies above him., Text: Admiration of the boys-- / In this world you'll make a noise; / But it has been said by some, / That your head is like your drum-- / Plenty of sound and plenty of brass, / And carried by a perfect ass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a low-cut gown and pulls up her skirt so that it reveals her petticoats and ankles. Her face is shaded to suggest rouge and lip coloring. Her holds her thumb to her nose in a disrespectful gesture., Text: Your conduct in loud accents speaks, / That nought can bring shame's blush to cheeks / So hard as your's, -- what shame, alas! / That in your face you've so much brass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man driving a carriage and says, " Don't I feel nobby now I keeps my own carriage?" "Nobby" is slang for smart or elegant., Text: They say you feel so proud of heart, / Because you keep a donkey cart; / One thing tho' you should bear in mind, / "Fellow feeling makes us kind," / Therefore you sometimes might change places / With the Donkey in the traces., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holding a trowel lays bricks. The valentine urges the recipient to amend his behavior so that he will not be considered "shabby," or someone who plays mean tricks., Text: If you aint the best of good fellows, / Or constantly up to your tricks, / I think you'll be put down as shabby, / Though you're daily surrounded with Bricks., "31", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The short book-keeper stands at a large desk. He holds a quill in front of a book. He resembles a horse and wears a patterned jacket, tie, and striped pants, which suggests that he is a dandy. The sender accuses the recipient of dishonesty., Text: You do not cast your figures right, / And false entries, 'tis said you make; / Some day your sins will come to light, / And another man your place will take., Cf. 2.5., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line quotes from Charles Carroll Sawyer's sentimental Civil War ballad, "When this cruel war is over." The valentine shows a Union soldier lighting his cigarette from a bomb as bombs fly in the background behind him. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught." The valentine satirizes the purported bravery of the volunteers by showing them as foolish., Text: "When this cruel war is over," And our noble Volunteers / home return to live in clover / Shan't we have good times, my dears? Honor to the heroes, who by / Their brave deeds us captivate, / Thank of all the kisses ruby / That upon their coming wait!, Variant of Valentine 2.8 and Valentine 2.9., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Sawyer, Charles Carroll, b. 1833. When this cruel war is over.
The woman's walking dress reveals her legs and her crinoline. "Sonsie" is slang for "comely.", Text: Clear the track and let me pass, / Boots and hoops, / Am I not a sonsie lass, / One who troops? Ho! my coat of lion skin / Never droops-- / Nor my buttons, nor my chin. / With ribbon loops., Cf.1.39., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union solider aims a gun towards the viewer. A speech bubble reads "Who goes there?" A yellow snake labeled "copperhead" lays around his feet. Copperhead refers to northern sympathizers with Secession. "Anathema Marantha" is a biblical curse., Text: Of all things whom honorable men despise, / The meanest is the copperhead and traitor, / Whose presence is a libel on our liberties, / And his thoughts a libel on his Creator. / Anathema Marantha! Let him be accursed: / Let him drink of the poison he distils: / Let him be marked of enemies the worst, / That has brought on the Republic all its ills. / The woman would be branded with ever living shame, / Who, for a Valentine, breathed a copperhead's name., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a pair of breeches, and "I runs wid der sewing machine I does," and "tailoring done" are written behind her., Text: Ah! me, don't you see, I'm sadly in need / Of some one to tinker me with needle and thread? / I've long had my eye on your useful machine -- / Your "Wheeler and Wilson," of course, I mean. / To the end that my clothes shall be in repair, / My oldest breeches I'll permit you to wear, / And never shall grumble, unless you, sweet Miss, / Some other gay Valentine should prefer to kiss., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Dr. Bleedems Office" appears on a sign behind the doctor, who stands holding a three-pronged knife in one hand and a saw in the other. The valentine mocks doctors who use unnecessary procedures to make money., Text: With probe, and saw, and lancet, / With plasters, purges and pukes, / You cut your way to favor / With duchesses and dukes; / But, you may saw into a fortune, / And probe into a mine, / Before I'd see in your ugly phiz / Anything worth this Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman bookworker holds a bone folder, a polished bone tool for creasing paper. A stack of papers lies near her hand, and a press is visible in the background. A cover sheet is on the table that reads " Elton's Alnanac [i.e., Almanac]." In the text, "calf" refers to a calf-skin binding., Text: No paper token, "lovely dear," / Could please you half so well, / As the signatures and folios / Of some young and brainless swell,-- / And if the wish'd for hour shall come, / I venture to opine, / You'll have a work full bound in calf, / For your dear Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "beauty of Ireland" wears a shawl and a ribbon in her hair, and her dress reveals her chest. She has pointed facial features and smiles. "Mavourneen" is an Irish term for "my darling," and the verse mocks Irish accents., Text: Och, you're a beauty, mavourneen, my darlin'! / That swate Irish brogue, too, as thick as my ar-r-m; / Faith, when I see yez, I cannot help calling, / "St. Patrick presarve me, and kape me from har-r-m!", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A bride is depicted as a cat, and the groom as a rat. The bride holds an envelope marked "Mr. & Mrs." Both are dressed formally; he wears a top-hat, and she wears a gown with a hoop skirt and a bonnet. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Pussy, when the rat she catches, / Smooths him down with velvet paw, / Then for change his hide she scratches / With her curved relentless claw. / So it is in wedlock's matches, / Beauty leads us like a straw, / Till she's got us "under hatches" -- / Then look out for Pussy's law!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A volunteer Union soldier cowers behind his rifle and a bullet is near his head., Text: Oh, why did you ever enlist-- / Oh, why to the wars did you go? / Your mind must have been in a mist, / For surely the danger you know. / The cannon balls fly through the air, / The bullets go whistling by; / And the enemy don't seem to care / If they hit you or not as they fly. / Then come home to arms of your love, / Before by fright you are hairless; / For believe me, my own dearest love, / The Confederates fire too careless., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A simian tailor rides on a goose and holds a pair of scissors. "Goose" refers to a tailor's iron, and "the ninth part of a man" is a derogatory term for tailors, referencing the saying that nine tailors equal one man., Text: I see them coming -- my prophetic muse / Beholds each tailor riding on a goose, / And when in order ranked I see the nine, / I'll thank my stars that I've one Valentine / Romantic Tailor, ninth part of man, / Be all my Valentine a tailor can; / Little than none, is better to endure, / And for a whole one I but want eight more., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with a long, shaded nose looks in the mirror on a bureau. She wears a dress with a bustle. The image in the mirror has less shading and exaggeration, suggesting that the woman's admiration of herself is deluded. Bustles became popular after 1869., Text: There was never a woman old fashion or ugly, / But what thought she possessed every beauty and grace, / And you're no exception, but as none else can see them, / You're compelled to admire yourself in the glass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A singing women stands amid floating bank notes., Text: The silvery notes that from your throat / Flow forth so beautiful and sweet, / Much better are than notes of Banks, / For they cannot be counterfeit., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier looks into the firing end of a cannon, and a cannonball lies at his feet. Seeking "the bubble reputation at the cannon's mouth" means to search for military glory and is a reference to Shakespeare's "As You Like It." "Hog in armor" is a term for awkward, clumsy people., Text: Seeking, of course, "the bubble reputation / At the cannon's mouth," / To fight the righteous battles of the nation, / You go South. / Now, prithee, don't mistake your piece's muzzle / Madly, for its breech, / If the two ends should ever prove a puzzle, / Ask which is which! / You look at present like a "hog in armor;" / May you "live and learn," / And having done so, I'll be yours, my charmer, / When you return., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Shakespeare, William (1564-1616), As you like it.
A man sits at a table. His eyes are closed, and he holds a woman's hand., Text: Though you claim to converse with spirits above -- / Supernatural, if not divine, / I think that the one you know most about, / Is the one they call "Spirits of Wine.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands in front of a polling place. In one hand, he holds a sign that reads "Defeat the Traitors," and "Virtue, Liberty, and Independence," the latter being the state motto for Pennsylvania. He stretches out his other hand to offer a coin purse. His wrinkled clothes have holes, and his nose is dark and drippy (from drinking?). His apron reads: The regular ticket; the country will be saved., Text: To make frothy speeches, and electioneer, / There's no one doubts, but that you're a honey, / And always ready, so the people swear, / To serve your country for a little money., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in a black suit stands next to a tomb stone marked "In Memory," and he looks away. A woman stands in the background., Text: You're old and ugly, and not sincere, / And your actions, sir, are very queer! / Those canting words will never do, / For none will have such a thing as you. / Dressed in black -- yet blacker heart, / You can't make me your 'better part;' / And although you cast a longing eye, / All your advances I defy., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman has devil-like horns, tail, and a blackened face. The sender criticizes the recipient for critcal speech., Text: Once women, I thought, were angels bright, / But that was when I was so very young; / Your actions have given me a clearer sight, / I find a she devil with blistering tongue., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a gown that reveals her long feet and ankles. She holds a fan., Text: What though in silks and lace you shine, / And though with care are painted! / I never wish'd to make you mine, / Since first we were acquainted!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman's very long tongue encircles her body. It reads: "You ought to hear all I've got to say! You'd open your eyes!" The valentine satirizes women who gossip., Text: Of all the evils flesh is heir to, / A long tongued woman is the worst to swear to; / What with scandal and story, and malice and wrong, / She keeps the lie moving all the year long. / Never so happy as when her words wound-- / Never so unhappy as when the truth is found: / May my fate ne'er be cursed by such a tongue as thine! / I'd rather have a blast furnace to be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The thin schoolmaster sharpens his quill and looks away from the classroom of children. The valentine mocks him for targeting younger and smaller children because he is afraid of the older, larger ones., Text: Oh! Mighty Framer of the youthful mind! Great among the Small ones! / You spank the little ones behind, Afraid to touch the tall ones; / A sour Curmudgeon, like yourself, You'd better seek in time; / If you don't, you ugly Elf, You'll have have no Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The book-keeper stands in front of a large desk. He holds a large quill poised before the book. He resembles a horse, and he wears a patterned jacket, tie, and striped pants, which suggests that he is a dandy. The sender accuses the recipient of dishonesty., Text: How easily one can tell by your looks, / You are a blotter of ink, and a writer on books, / 'Tis very strange, though your wages are small, / You oft visit Burton's, to a trot, or a ball, / But money you'll have, no matter how ill, / If not by fair means you must rob the till., Cf. 2.4., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows the head and shoulders of a woman in a pink, green, and yellow gown., Text: My widow you're like an old shoe, / That in its short life has ill fared; / And like it now when left all alone, / To be useful you must be re-paired., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The man leans forwards and grins. He wears a blue coat and yellow plaid trousers. His hair and mutton chops are curly. Copperhead refers to northern sympathizers with Secession., Text: When, leaving the ranks of honest men, / 'Mid men of politics to snake it, / 'Twas well you chose a Copperhead, / For fear some loyal man should break it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
