The bride wears a dress with a red bodice and yellow skirt, a white veil, and a pair of earrings. She holds a sheet of paper that says "Marriage certificate." She smiles, and has crossed eyes. The pictures suggests that she has limited intelligence and mocks her pride in her marriage., Text: Now you are wedded! and happy too, / Then let the world deride, / The dirty scamp who would attempt, / To slander, such a bride., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a broom in one hand and has her other hand in her pocket. She has dirt on her face and drools., Text: I've counted up all of earthly ills; / I threw a box of -- Somebody's -- pills; / But after I'd thought of every thing human, / I found the worst -- a slovenly woman., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman pulling a sheet over a bed. She smiles and wears a dress and apron. There is a bucket by her foot. The text quotes an old proverb to suggest a literal meaning for the figurative expression., Text: What pleases you so? you have caught a new beau, / I know by the glance of your eye! / I hope you'll not rue it, but you know it is true, / "As you make your bed so you must lie.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man looking through a key hole. The text threatens the recipient with violence if he continues spying on and meddling in his neighbors' matters., Text: Poking in your nose where ere you can, / You are a mischievous meddling stupid man; / Who minds his neighbours business not his own / May one day have a broken head to moan., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in ragged clothes frowns and points her finger., Text: If you keep on, you vile old wretch, you, / 'T'is certain that old nick will catch you; / But if he does, how much the winner / Will he be by so great a sinner., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a gown and a green shawl that resembles butterfly wings. She holds a fan and wears a bonnet. The valentine mocks women of fashion as artificial., Text: If you had a husband, giddy one, / He soon would in the gutter lie; / With you for a mate, he'd be undone; / You're but a painted Butterfly., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wearing eyeglasses holds a plate with bones on it., Text: Your only thought, to me would seem to be, / How you can skimp, and skin, and save; / Forgetting riches oft take wings and flee-- / At least, you none can take beyond the grave., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a bear's head and a tail holds a rifle., Text: Your presence as a lover, / Right gladly I had hailed; / But that of fair proportions, / You are cruelly cur-tailed., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man has enlarged, bat-like ears, and he eavesdrops from behind a partially opened door. The valentine condemns the recipient's eavesdropping. "Little pitchers have big ears" is a colloquialism that means that children are listening., Text: What is it makes the people cry, / Whenever you may be near by, / And say be sure he does not hear, / For little pitchers have big ears., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in gown with furbelows tilts her nose upwards. The valentine mocks the recipient's social aspirations., Text: O! lofty Miss Highflyer, nose to the moon, / Your fancy outrivals your beauty; / I fear you'd forget your husband too soon, / And fail in a wife's gentle duty., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands with her arms bent and mouth open so that her posture resembles that of a roaring tiger. Behind her a house cat adopts a similar stance., Text: Not in India's jungles only / Are the Tigers doing ravage, / I would live forever lonely, / Than wed such a hideous savage., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman riding sidesaddle. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught." The valentine perhaps suggests that her horsemanship leads to improper contact with men., Text: Oh! proud must be the noble steed / Yon lady fair that carries, / And sensible the swain, indeed, / For her consent who tarries. / Blest be the man who on to horse- / Back daily tosses her up, / Toys with her lovely feet, of course, / And puts it in the stirrup!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The quack doctor has a bird's head and wears a jacket, trousers, and a waistcoat., Text: In man's varied life are many ills -- / You say you cure by Magic Pills; / I would not trust you to a poor sick crow, / And I abhor you for my beau, / Your head is brainless, and with wit doth lack, / You nasty ape, and meddling Quack., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A frowning woman wears a yellow gown and holds a small parasol., Text: Full many a fair flower, not half so fair as you, / Has been plucked in early springtime, when fresh with morning's dew, / And you alone, neglected, have been carelessly passed by, / And now, when old and faded, you are left to droop and die., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with pox marks on her face wears a ball gown. The valentine possibly references sexually transmitted diseases., Text: The marks of every passion base / You plainly bear upon your face / Distorted, vile in every feature, / Indeed you are a loathsome creature., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a large, pox-marked head holds a bottle of alcohol. He has a scarf tied around his jaw and head. "Pumpkin" is a derogatory term for an important person., Text: How could I even think, to wed / A man who's always drunken; / Who really has so large a head, / It looks like a ripe pumpkin,., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sitting at a table holds a bag marked "50,500." More bags fill a bin on the table marked "CASH." A letter holder is mounted on the wall behind him., Text: You grasping Usurer, you rascally Knave, Master of Wealth, yet still its slave! / For worlds I would not link my name with [thine] : For, gold can't purchase a true / Valentine., Cf. Valentine 4.30., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman closes the door in the face of a woman caller., Text: Though nought in face or form you're needing, / Nor none more handsome ever was, / You're ugly still, through lack of breeding; / For "pretty is as pretty does.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The miser holds a fork with a fish on it over a fire. Next to the fire are a small sauce pan and toasting fork. A cat stands behind the chair., Mean, snivelling, sneaking, garret-bred, / Cat-lick'd, and shotten-herring-fed: / What right can such a thing as you / Presume a woman's love to woo? / Starve where you may, this picture see, / Poor drivelling knave, you don't starve me., Cf. Valentine 10.27., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: De Marsan, H. (Henry), publisher.
The doctor stands in profile, holding a bottle labeled "mercury." He wears a top hat, trousers, and a coat with tails, and a large syringe hangs from his trousers., Text: All sickness and ills, you say, you can cure / By your all-healing garble and pill; / You relieve them from pain : of this I'm quite sure; / For, if you can't cure, you can kill., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears an enormous skirt with furbelows., Text: Expansive! expensive! extensive! exuberant! / Skirts, more than the city's outskirts, protuberant! / Not only the height of the fashion has come to this, / But the breadth of the fashion is Crinoline bliss., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds up her arms and screams at the sight of a bug dangling in front of her. She wears a fashionable gown with a low-cut and very narrow bodice. The text suggests that the woman is not scared of physical intimacy and marriage., Text: You'll rush with fright from a harmless bug, / Which the wind has near you carried; / But yet you don't fear a good, stout hug, / Nor tremble at getting married., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The rum-seller stands at a bar and holds a decanter and a glass. He smiles, and a man smiles in the background. "Tin" is slang for "money.", Text: With a gay smiling face or with a sly wink, / Always ready to deal out something to drink: / Smashes, cocktails, and juleps, rum, brandy or gin, / It's no matter what: you want the Tin., Cf. Valentine 9.17., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a pig's head reads a poster, which states, "GREAT VALENTINE DEPOT/ THE FAT HOG," and has a picture of a hog on it. He carries a walking stick with a man's head carved on the top., Text: You are the very antidote to love! / A man of taste undoubtedly you prove; / But 'tis of dinners, Hog, and that you know full well, / And if a wife you choose, 'twill be-- a dinner bell(e)? / Upon my word, I'd give a dollar bill, / To know the jade that sent this Valentine; / The saucy minx, she says I'm sour as swill, / She won't be good for a pig's head like mine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman carrying a small red parisol wears a gown with large yellow skirt with furbelows., Text: Yes, there she is; and it's no use talking, / I've seen the Devil in the street walking; / I thought they were chain'd in bonds superhuman, / This is hooped up just like a woman., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The gambler holds a billiard cue and stands in front of a billiard table. Three other male figures are in the background., Text: Oh! vain moustache-lounger, just look here, / You seem a specimen of human kind-- / But now alas! I tell you most sincere, / You lack that greatest quality-- the mind / The billiard cue-- the spectacle, and all, / Denote that you in games are hard to beat; / But in the game of love there is a call, / No long-ear'd vagabound, like you, can meet., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Clad in a skirt with yellow furbelows and a bonnet, the woman carries a parasol., Text: On the back of your head a neat little bonnet, / A great wide spreading skirt, with furb'ows on it, / Your pride is in dress, but, really, you somehow, / Just put me in mind of a doll, on a hay-mow., Cf. 1.8., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A seated woman has a padlock through her mouth. The valentine suggests that the recipient's quietness will disappear when she marries. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another thimble cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: A rare and commendable thing / Is well-affected silence, / Among the maids their wiles who bring / Our dulness to beguile hence. / Yet Paddock no control assumes, / (Experience teaches this bird), / When Wedlock or the future looms / And "Yes" has to be whispered., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands next to a coffin and pulls a coin out of it and holds another behind his back., Text: You sneaking, mean, soulless knave, / You'd rob your father's new-made grave, / You'd steal an apple from a girl or boy, / Or rob a baby of its only toy. / Of all men the wide world through, / The most despicable, such as you; / You'd stoop to petty pelf, or lies, / You'd steal the cents from a dead man's eyes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A boy wears a short coat, ruffled collar, and high pants. He carries books and a slate with arithmetic sums written on it., Text: Unlettered dunce, with shining morning face, / Creeping unwillingly to school with snail-like pace -- / Like postage stamps, requiring much licking / Before you to your letters will be sticking., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits supporting her chin with her hands. She has bare feet, wrinkles, and is missing teeth. A cat sits in front of her, and a canary is behind him., Text: With a nice new wig and a coat of paint, / You're almost just as good as new; / Folks say you're old, but then you ain't-- / What woman's old at sixty-two?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A young woman walks holding a stack of school books. The valentine criticizes her fixation on money., Text: While cramming your mind with pounds, shillings, and/ pence, / You must still leave some room for good common sense; / For though to the top of the ladder you mount, / Without sense your great learning will be no account., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The machinist has a red, porcine nose. He hammers at a piece of metal to make a cog., Text: I'd go without beaus all the days of my life, / And die an old maid, before I'd be the wife / Of such an old hammer as you, you old fool; / You're a piece of pig-iron-- a miserable tool; / For your head's like an anvil with about as much brains, / And you don't know enough to come in when it rains., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A father stands next to his child, and the mother is in bed behind them., Text: From the breaking of morn to the close of the day, / You delight that bless'd baby in the cradle to rock; / And you grin with delight, when you hear the folks say, / "La! isn't it a perfect chip, off the Old Block.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a blacksmith at his forge. His cheeks are red, and his hair is black. He has defined arm muscles and puffed sleeves., Text: Was ever such a dingy devil seen? / A perfect antidote to love, I ween. / Black as your forge, eyes like your furnace red; / When you appear, folks start back with dread. / The fire at your forge may continue to shine, / But I will never wed such a black Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a wine glass and a bottle of wine and frowns. A picture of a man hangs behind her. The valentine critiques women who drink as being dishonorable and possibly unchaste., Text: Good advice to somebody; indeed, I think, / The advice is plain to understand: / Flee at once from a woman who loves to drink, / Her honor is like a rope of sand., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Clad in a skirt with yellow furbelows and a bonnet, the woman carries a parasol., Text: On the back your head a neat little bonnet, / A great wide speading skirt, with furblows on it; / Your pride is in dress, but, really, you somehow, / Just put me in mind of a doll, on a hay-mow., Cf. 1.9., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A baker smokes and kneads dough., Text: Dear doughhead, don't be such a fool, / And think that I would favor show / To such a living half-baked pie, / For if you do your cake's all dough. / You're badly bred, with flowery speech, / You strive to knead a heart to thee; / But be assured that none will wed / With such a dough-nut, sir, as thee., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A shoemaker sits joining a leather upper to the sole of a shoe. Awls and other tools lie on the bench next to him. The text suggests that his lapstone (a tool for beating leather) is as large as his heart -- if he has a heart -- and advises him to forego marriage., Text: My jolly old cobbler! with heart, if you've got one, / Which I'm certain you have as large as your lapstone, / Dont think to get married, but still in content, / Try to make your ends meet, and pull out for the rent., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with sheep's head kneels with his hands folded. His tongue sticks out, and he has roses in his pockets. "Pap" is a food for small children., Text: Pray don't kneel to me with flowers sweet and rare, / With basket on your arm, Sheep-face that you are, -- / How can you think a maiden like myself, / Could have one thought of thee, simple love-sick elf? / Go home unto your mammy, sit upon her lap, / She will feed her baby on soda-biscuit pap!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A crying man holds a handkerchief and a bottle of gin. The valentine mockingly urges the rejected man to drink in order to feel better., Text: Poor lovesick mortal, disappointed! / The gal would not the bargain close; / But you'll gain at the bar appointed / The balm to heal the woes you nose., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in a gown smiles., Text: Dear, delicious, your face divine / Inspires my soul. Will you be mine? / O! do say yes-- nor let me pine; / For you are my own Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man squats and holds a long-handled pan over a metal mold. "Castings" is written behind him. The man has a large nose and wears a small knit cap. "Moulder" is also slang for "pugilist," and "lam" is slang for to "hit hard.", Text: HERE you are, you Moulder elf, / You see the likeness of yourself, / A nose just like a steam trip-hammer -- / God help your wife, I'm sure you'll 'lam' her., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands with an ace and a spade card on each shoulder. He holds a case in one hand and a bag of gold in the other. Faro was a popular 19th-century card game. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: Gay "gambolier," [i.e gambler] what brings you here / With your faro chips and aces? / Crawl back, again, to your smoky den, / Wherein your proper place is. / Half-swell, half-rough, the air you snuff / For simpletons belated, / Who, in the light, would hardly bite / At hooks with tinsel belated., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman ice skates. She has a headdress and curls along her forehead that resemble Ancient Greek styles., Text: When ancient damsels take to ice, / The fire of youth no longer shines, / And they should quit this poor device / For catching cold and Valentines., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a shawl around her shoulders and a black hood on her head., Text: Your angry vengeful mien, / Surely bodes some ill; / I hope you have not loved -- / Not wisely-- but, too well., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a cracked bell as a bonnet, and her tongue is the bell's clapper. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Oh! you're a bell (without the e) / All tongue, and brass, and clatter, / A ring exchanged with you would be / A very serious matter. / Dinnerless I would go, for a long spell, / Rather than be rung in by such a bell!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman and a man facing each other across a counter. He holds out a yellow piece of fabric for her to examine., Text: Sir Foppleton Frisk of folded shreds, / Silks, Satins, Laces, Cottons, Threads, / How oft I say "oh! did I ever," / My heart breathes quickly "No I never.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman wears a bonnet and carries a large hat box. "Cap-a-pie" means "head to foot.", Text: So you've come out armed cap-a-pie, / To try and catch a man, / And this to do you'll spare no beau, / But catch one if you can., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a woman with the body of a duck., Text: Take my advice my little duck, / And quick a husband take, / For it is so, as you well know, / Each duck must have its drake., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
