An ugly woman holds a mask of a beautiful face., Text: So so, here we have you unmasked, I declare, / And Satan himself you would certainly scare; / The mask, keep it on, till he sendeth for you-- / Come for you himself, is a thing he'll ne'er do-- / O brimstone and bitterness, how it he'd rue!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The policeman talks to a woman through a window. She wears a low-cut gown, and he holds his hands to his face. Behind him, a boy steals something from a man's pocket. The valentine criticizes him for neglecting his job to pay attention to women., Text: What a happy life the policeman leads; / With his Starry shield before him! / He mutters his love to the passing maids, / While ladies, from windows, adore Him. / The Gallant BRAVE Fellow never suspects / A thief might, near Him, be stealing; / So he chats with HIS DEAR, and bows his respects, / While love the dark-deed is concealing., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman has black curly hair and wears ice skates and a skating costume., Text: That flashing eye, that beaming brow! / Those curls that wildly float and shine / O, if thy hair's as false as thou, / Thou'lt prove a sorry Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A drunken man leans against a post. He holds a bottle of gin and steps on a piece of paper that reads "Maine Liq[our] Law," an 1851 law which prohibited the sale of liquor in Maine.The valentine mocks opposers of Temperance by showing them as excessive drinkers., Text: You uphold the rum-traders madly, / While you cannot hold up yourself; / You swallow their poison, and gladly / You aid them in robbing your pelf., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The compounder of drugs has a crane's head and is extremely thin. He carries a large red syringe and has a medicine bottle in his pocket., Text: Compounder keen of drenching drugs, / Fly-poison, baneful wash for bugs, / And boluses for rats; / Pills, plasters, rubber for the toes, / And odors to regulate the nose, / And castor oil for cats., Variant of 7.2., "115", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man carrying a fan wears a hat, eyeglasses, and a large coat . Another man stands in the background., Text: Your curious and mysterious ways have made / Your conduct and employment a charade / Which time alone can solve, and I've no doubt / They'll find a rascal when they find you out., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A carpenter carves a heart out of wood. He holds a hammer and awl, and a saw, chisels, and triangle are on the bench behind him., Text: Oh, why is gentle love / A stranger to that mind! / Which pity and esteem can move-- / Which can be just and kind., "91", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman wearing a crown, gown, and holding a parasol. A young man holds the train of her coat. The valentine mocks the woman's too-slender stature and excessively large crinoline., Text: A skeleton in figure / You still are bound to shine, / The great among the greatest / In size of Crinoline., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a small woman in a blue gown with puffed sleeves. She wears a hat with a large pink feather in it., Text: I am a Heart-breaker, / For men I don't care; / The best one shall never / Catch me in Love's snare., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with large, pointed facial features stands at a door holding the doorknob., Text: From all that is lovely, I'm sorry to find, / Both of grace and of mind, you're exempt; / And though to think well, my heart is inclined, / You only can merit contempt., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man clings to a steam train's chimney with a frowning human face. Another man holds a flag in the background. The valentine possibly comments on sexual ethics., Text: Over the break-necks fiendlike plunging, / Car'less what ill you may entail, / If you are not cautious with your engine, / We'll ride you on ANOTHER RAIL!, Cf. 3.36., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman screams as the Devil embraces and kisses her cheek., Text: Alas! that love, so gentle in his view, / Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!.. / And gentle maid, when Love shall come to you, / You'll know him by his horns and cloven hoof., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a dress with a bustle and a hat with a small veil. The woman leans forward in the Grecian Bend, caused by fashionable restrictive, bustled gowns. The Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869., Text: You're not so bad looking as some I know, / You're not so ill mannered as others I know, / And you generally make a respectable show; / But you're deficient in brains, I'm sorry to say, / Because you dress in such a ridiculous way, / And consider the Bend such a gorgeous array., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The glazier carries a lattice and panes of glass on his back and says, "Shall I put it in? Marm.", Text: With brain made of Putty and body of Glass, / That each one may see thro' a contemtible [i.e. contemptible] ass; / Saluting each window with leecherous grin, / And asking each female "may I put it in?" / By such a proceeding now what would she gain / For you're only to put in a PANE? / Your deeds are transparent, so pray you incline, / To MEND if you can, my dull Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands between two men. She wears a large-skirted gown that reveals her ankles and blocks the men's path. To have "two strings in one's bow" means to have more than one option., Text: Daily you lose your modesty, / And some new freak of fastness try, / Allow me here then to suggest / The vulgar style that suits you best, / Young Ladies think it is the go / To have two strings unto their bow; / But I'll teach you a faster thing, / To have two beaus unto your string!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds out a pocket watch and ribbons. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: I know you, ma'am, your itching palm, / 'Mong ribbons and 'mong laces, / With artful play is wont to stray / In all the dry-goods places. / Of diamond rings, and such-like things / Likewise a skilful sifter, / You'd better cease, ere the police / Proclaim you a shop-lifter., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The school-mistress holds a rod and a pamphlet of the alphabet in her hands. She stands next to a bench with a fool's cap on it., Text: Mistress of fools-cap, rod rule, / None better than thyself to teach the school; / For education forms the common mind, / And with a twig, you drive it in behind., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man on ice skates has one foot off the ground. His hat has fallen off. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: Dame nature thus has well decreed, / "Fools go where wise men fear to tread;" / You've lost your hat-- and dropp'd your weed, / Go home before you lose your head. / A head which though 'tis not much used, / Except to hang a hat, or nod; / By mortal should not be abused, / E'en cabbage-heads are works of God., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The miser is thin with pointed features. He pushes coins into a pile and holds a bag. A small dog stands in front of his table., Text: You starve your own body, and would if you wed, / Dress your wife in but rags, all the while, / The whole of your care, through your miserly life, / Is to add a few cents to your pile., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The counter jumper sits at desk and writes in a ledger. Ledgers marked "Cash" and "day" are on a shelf above his desk, and some of the letters face the wrong direction. The sender mocks the recipient's inflated sense of self-worth as a ladies' man., Text: Behind the counter, like an ape, / You grin and measure off your tape, / And put on winning ways, / While the ladies laugh aside, / At your folly and your pride, / And scorn your silly praise. / You think that every lady is inclin'd / To take you for her Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman carries a tiny parasol and wears a gown with a hoop skirt and furbelows., Text: This, truly, is the age of all things new, / For even women grown, and young maids too, / Believe not now in either Heart or Head, / But in the size to which their hoops may spread., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The clerk wears a coat and trousers. He sits on a tall stool at a tall desk, and his feet hang far from the floor., Text: To count the dollars, cents, and mills, / For that alone you're fit, / Devoid of common decency, / Or any show of wit. / Think you I'd hug a man's effigy, / Or to his love incline? / I'd sooner court a bag of mush, / To be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The miserly woman looks over shoulder. Her hands rest on a pile of gold coins, and money bags "3000" and "50,000" sit on the table beside her., Text: Trembling at each wind that's passing, / Fearing danger to your gold / You've spent all your life amassing; / How your petty soul is sold!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows the back of a large woman in a cloak. "Museum Hippopotamus / Every Night / Day" is written above her., Text: Mussy on us! what a muss / Here's a Hippopotamus / In a fur cloak right upon us, / Hippopota, mussy on us!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A sailor stands with his eyes closed and his hand in his pocket., Text: You're a sweet looking sailor boy, gallant and bold, / But I'm afraid that for rum you do spend all your gold; / So take my advice, and at once change your tack, / Or your own Valentine will soon give you the sack. / Your nose does proclaim you a regular bloat, / And an odor most poisonous comes from your throat., "529", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands next to a small dog and smokes a cigarette. The sender implies that the recipient misrepresents his background., Text: Oh my! what airs aristocratic! / "First Fam."--ahem! -- a noble scion! / You date your birth high up (an attic); / Come, come, such game as this don't try on., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a goose's head holds a needle and a piece of fabric. Behind him is a sign that reads "P.G. Goose/ F[as]hion Tailor." "Goose" refers to a tailor's iron., Text: When I look in the glass, / Or I look in my ledger, / I see nothing but "bill"-- / No chink for a pledger; / Sciss, sciss, I will, / Stuff and pad you till / You attend to my long bill; / Confound you, pay your bill -- / P.G. Goose must have a bank bill., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman hunches forward and wears a dress with a low neckline and furbelows. The valentine satirizes women who are too bold in their affections., Text: O! quite too willing; pray excuse me; / I had rather not, my dear: / Your love, too ardent, might confuse me; / Wait, perhaps I may next year., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a tall woman in the foreground and a shorter woman in the background., Text: Dear Madam, I must vainly try / From your lengthened form to fly -- / To share that tender heart I pine / And fly to thee, my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The farmer's wife stands next to a large pig. A butter churn is behind her. The valentine mocks her for being overweight., Text: A charming life is a farmer's life; / And ain't you in luck to be his wife? / He feeds and fats you just like his pig, / And loves as much when you're twice as big., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with pink skin stands in front of a sign that reads "New York 122 Miles." His shadow looks like a pig., Text: When first you came before my eyes, / I really felt a great surprise, / In fact a puzzle 'twas to me / What animal you e'en could be; / Until at least I found it out-- / A drunken Pig with nasty snout., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The image depicts a man with his forehead labeled "impudence." He wears a necktie, a jacket with tales, and slim trousers. He sucks air out of a yellow bag labeled "gas.", Text: Some are pinched the wind to raise, / But you've enough to blow your praise; / While such a bag of wind you share, / You cannot die for want of air., Cf. 1.29., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman's facial features are asymmetrical, with her eyes on different planes and pointing in different directions. She wears a dress with a red top and yellow skirt, and very large earrings., Text: Eyes not mates, and hair like carrots;/ Nose and chin like any parrots;/ No doubt, you think that face of thine,/ Will charm my heart, my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands in front of two men sitting at a table with a plate with two small fish on it. The man on the left holds up two fingers. Behind them is a sign that reads "Boarders will settle every week in advance. Mrs. Gutstarve.", Text: You stingy, shrivel'd, wrinkled, close-skin'd skin-flint, / You advertise for boarders in the papers, / But any man who has any sense or wit, / Can't stand your nasty tricks and capers. / One herring for two men, that is our fare, / And what is left of breakfast, for our dinner, / You think you are making money by your snare, / But you will find that you are the winner., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The milkman is seated in a horse-drawn cart with a container of milk in it. He pours something into a pitcher, and the text suggests that the milkman sells chalk and water as milk. Croton Lake housed many of the dairies and ice houses that served New York City., Text: Pure milk I sell from Croton-lake, / As any in the land, sirs; / No stub-tail drug to town I take, / The world can see my cans, sirs. / No doubt your milk is good and pure, / And will no babies slaughter; / Just chalk enough to make you sure / 'Twill hide the Croton water., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in a sailor's clothing stands by a pile of cannon balls and holds a sword. One meaning of "splice" is to marry, and the sender rejects the recipient. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: My friend, I vow that I'm not over nice, / Yet in a lover I want something fine; / So you and I can never hope to splice, / For you shall never be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man balances on the base of a weather-cock, with his arms and left leg indicating the directions. Birds and builiding spires and roofs are in the background., Text: You quickly turn and cock your nose / To each new breadth of wind that blows; / Your proper place is on a steeple, / Where you would be some use to people., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A thin woman wears rags and touches a pile of coins on a table., Text: Vain, hoarding miser, worst of all thy kind; / Of females all, least suited to my mind; / No room for other in that heart of thing; / Let filthy lucre be thy Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man has a large stomach, long moustache, and round, porcine features which suggest he is German, in keeping with his taste for lager. He stands in front of a barrel, holding a tankard in one hand and a pastry or roll in the other., Text: You're a regular barrel of Lager, / As plain can be seen by your snout; / And what you would save at the spigot, / At the bung you'd be sure to let out., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man has two faces. One is smiling, and the other sticks out his tongue. The side that sticks out his tongue makes a gesture with his fist., Text: Monster of wickeness, deceit and crime, / Thou wretch that glories in all that's vile, / Look on this picture, and there thou'lt see / A double featured knave like thee. / You're lying tongue would disgrace even Satan, / So never presume to the hand of a maiden; / But go to your vile clan, and with them revel, / For rather than wed you, I'd wed the devil., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Above his head, the butcher's words appear: "I'll take the last of your 'sacred nine' Mews!!" He holds a meat cleaver and a cat. He stands in front of a butcher's block; sausages and hams hang behind him. He has a large waistline and wears an apron. The valentine mocks butchers' dishonesty, violence, and gluttony., Text: The butcher is a jolly dog, / Gets saucy as he grows fat, / Makes "choice round" of horse's meat, / And "chain sausage" out of cat. / I'd marry a butcher, that I would, / If I could only be sure, / He wouldn't butcher his Valentine / And sell her as sugar cure., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man prays in a church pew. A small devil has his arm around the man. Behind him are two women parishioners., Text: You may sing psalms with sanctimonious face, / And lift your eyes with such a virtuous leer / Who trusts in you will only meet disgrace -- / Disgrace that's everlasting too, I fear. / Hypocrites like rotten fish will shine, / The devil only is your Valentine., "118", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A tailor sews a pair of breeches. "Goose" refers to a tailor's iron, and "cabbage" refers to the fabric leftover from making a garment. "Ninth part of man" is a derogatory term for tailors, referencing the saying that nine tailors equal one man., Text: You stitching elf, don't talk of wealth, / Go eat your Goose and Cabbage, / When had enough, then take your snuff / Nor think of love and marriage. / Ne'er to a tailor, could I my love resign, / A ninth part of a man is no fit Valentine., Cf. Valentine 11.42., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man pours liquor out of a bottle which is positioned near his groin. The valentine suggests that the recipient's passion is for drinking and not for women. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: Tis evident you're far to [i.e. too] fond of liquor / To have a passion for aught else than wine / I doubt if it or you can run the quicker. / I'll have no tippler for a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A tailor sews a pair of breeches. "Goose" refers to a tailor's iron, and "cabbage" refers to the fabric leftover from making a garment. "Ninth part of man" is a derogatory term for tailors, referencing the saying that nine tailors equal one man., Text: You stitching elf, don't talk of wealth, / Go eat your Goose and Cabbage, / When had enough, then take your snuff / Nor think of love and marriage. / Ne'er to a tailor, could I my love resign, / A ninth part of a man is no fit Valentine., Cf. Valentine 11.41., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits sewing as a small dog looks up at her., Text: My pretty young damsel, my very heart itches / With love for yourself, and I've made up my mind / As I've sat by your side and watched your quick stitches, / To ask you this day to be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a donkey's head stands in front of a printing press. Behind him is a sign that reads "The Vicar of Bray! By a Celebrated Composer. E.HAW.EST.", Text: Believe me I have too much pride, / E'er to be a Donkey's Bride. / Girls take no pity on YOUR CASE, / But laugh full in your Asses face: / Tho' some may say that from our sex / Length of years (ears) command respect, / Yet no respect have I for you, / So-- my Composing Stick, Adiea!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a plate with bread, molasses, a fork, and a knife marked "butter knife" on it. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches." The sender rejects the recipient because of her young age., Text: Bread-and-butter misses / Will not do for me: / Then reserve your Kisses / Until "after tea." / Certainly for "lasses / I've a tooth, I own, / That all teeth surpasses, / But they must be--- grown!", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A tailor with a cabbage on his back rides on a goose holding a pair of shears. "Goose" means a tailors iron, and "cabbage" refers to the fabric leftover from making a garment. Cabbage belonged to the customer, but the valentine accuses the tailor of stealing it., Text: Tailor behold the future ride / That will you one day betide / Upon a Goose you mounted are / Yourself the GREATEST Goose by far; / Slung around your neck is seen / The CABBAGE pilfered from the GREENS, / In your hand a pair of shears / To cut Imp's tails when they appear., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a long beard wears a colorful turban and smokes a long pipe. He sits on a pile of pillows. "Tartar" is slang for an unpleasant woman., Text: My lazy old pipe-smoking turk, / If you catch me you'll have to be smarter; / And if you succeed you may find / In the end that you have caught a tartar., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
