A Union soldier holds a musket with a bayonet. His nose is larger than the bayonet, but both have the same shape., Text: When our lines to break, / The enemy tries, / Do let me for once / Your brave spirit advise: / When things look promiscuous, / And are coming to a blows, / Then--away with your musket, / And charge with your nose., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a man crouching down with his hand near his face. His shadow resembles a monkey. The text references the theory of evolution presented by Charles Darwin in his On the origin of species (1859)., Text: It is believed some men among, / That all us folks from monkey sprung, / But until first I saw your face, / I did not think such was the case, / Yet then I thought it might be true-- / That is, my friend, regarding you., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Magnus, Charles.
A man with a thick beard stands in front of a table. A sign that reads "Ugly Club" is behind him., Text: Each day your phiz more ugly grows, / 'T'would do first-rate to scare the crows; / Each one that sees you, verdict gives / That you're the ugliest man that lives., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman who stands with her arms folded. Her dress reveals much of her breasts. Her face is heavily shaded with thick eyebrows and dark hair., Text: No paint, nor powder, needs that skin of thine / Shroud not thy beauty in goods of cost, / For only know, my beat'ous Valentine, / Beauty, when unadorned's adorned the most., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man has a hog's face and a large waistline. He has a bottle in his pocket. The sender references the Swedenborgian belief that one's mind shapes one's appearance in hell to suggest that the recipient is a hog., Text: If Swedenborgians tell us true, / When dead, our mortal selves appear, / When bad, like beasts to other's view, / So you will look as pictur'd here., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with pox marks on her face wears a ball gown. The valentine possibly references sexually transmitted diseases., Text: The marks of every passion base / You plainly bear upon your face / Distorted, vile in every feature, / Indeed you are a loathsome creature., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman's facial features are asymmetrical, with her eyes on different planes and pointing in different directions. She wears a dress with a red top and yellow skirt, and very large earrings., Text: Eyes not mates, and hair like carrots;/ Nose and chin like any parrots;/ No doubt, you think that face of thine,/ Will charm my heart, my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a man with a dog's head. He wears boxing gloves labeled "insant death" and "six months illness.". He also wears a monocle and a top hat, which suggest that he is a "puppy," or dandy. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Do you think you ugly man, / Because you're like a black-and-tan, / And a hitter from the shoulder-joint likewise, / That on you the blooming girls, / With their fascinating curls, / Will glance with approbation in their eyes / If you do you're much mistaken, / For it's just as sure as bacon / No fighter can a woman's true love win, / But the soldier-boy whose blows / Fall on his country's foes / When the ring is pitched, the battle-field within., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sews a cap. She has an enlarged nose and a moustache and sits at a table with men's caps on it. The caps' blue color may indicate that they are for Union soldiers., Text: Dainty damsel, time ne'er lingers, / On those very active fingers, / Other females, you make charming! / Make yourself, then, less alarming! / As it is, -- I don't incline, / To pick you for a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man standing in profile; his shadow resembles a goose., Text: Oh! pray great Good, and silly elf, / Go from my sight, and hide yourself. / 'Mongst christains [i.e., christians], surely is no place / For a thing, with such a face. / A goose like you must live alone, / No Duck will ever be your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A worker wearing a hat and apron hold a piece fo cloth on a stick above a dyeing vat. The sender rejects the recipient because of his lowly occupation., Text: Your person reminds me of some ugly Cub / Therefore I advise you to stick to your tub/ If by Dying you live pray sir don’t die for me, / For my heart’s not engaged yet nor likely to be., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A coachmen wearing a top hat opens the door of a carriage., Text: When I’m stuck behind the Carriage, / With my cockade on my hat, / The servant maids, I hear them / Say, a nice young man is that., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man with simian features kneels in the grass and smokes a cigar., Text: Here your portrait you may see, / Drawn as like as like can be, / Your features coarse, your frightful shape, / You may behold, you ugly ape! / A glance from you, you horrid churl, / The life would frighten from any girl., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
