A machinist wearing an apron stands at his work bench. A variety of tools are visible on his bench and on the wall behind him. The sender suggests the recipient does shoddy work., Text: Folks say, Sir Machinist, who have your course watched, / That no job you e’er tackled came from you unbotched. / If you’re really an expert, a machine I can mention / To which it would pay you to give your attention; / I mean your own head; for, to this I would swear, / Its wheels must be terribly out of repair., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man holds a gun in the countryside. His hat has fallen off and he appears to be losing his balance. The valentine suggests he is an inept hunter., Text: Now I’m sure it is a shame, / You should of harmless birds make game; / But in some cases it is true, / The little birds MAKE GAME of you., "No. 82", Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman sits at a table with cards. A cat sits on the stool beside her. "Huffle" can mean long-winded talking. The cat's words suggest that the woman is wasting her time by trying to read her future in the cards., Text: “Hearts! At once, I plainly see, / It is hearts-ease meant for me; / Shall I gain my wish at last, / Ere my summer sun is past?” / Thus the dark one then replied, / Hovering by the lady’s side; / “Deal, my good lady, as you will, / You shuffle! And will huffle still.”, "182", Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman smiles at a boy playing with a hoop and stick. The valentine chides her for flirting inappropriately at and advanced age., Text: I do not wish your feelings, ma’ma to hurt, / But for one old and ugly still to flirt, / And leer and giggle on each man you meet, / To say the least is not at all discreet., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A Bricklayer wearing a smock and paper hat stands beside a wall and holds a trowel., Text: I vow to me it would be torture / To wed with one besmear’d with mortar; / In blessed singleness I’ll pine, / Rather than be your Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
An older woman stands with her hands over her heart. The bottom of her dress is shaped like an upside down heart and has the words "To Let" on it. Next to her is a sign that says "A heart wanted." A Hoosier is a resident of the state of Indiana., Text: You’re forty, if you are a day, / And yet no husband comes your way. / It is too bad that such a face / Should live alone in such a place. /Take in your sign, and get thee West,-- / There aged maidens thrive the best. / For Hoosiers, when they seek a pal, / Are all content if she’s a gal., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A coachman in an elaborate uniform sits on the box of a carriage and holds a whip. "Spooney" means foolish or sentimental., Text: Old Coachee, mounted on your box, / You look as stupid as an ox; / The coach of Wedlock, do not strive, / With me old boy you ne’er shall drive / So all your views at once resign, / You spooney looking Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man stands inside a room with a heart-shaped padlock over the fly of his pants. His wife is peering around the door. The valentine suggests that his wife locks him up to prevent him from seeing other women., Text: Soft headed self loving rake, / This the precaution I would take, / To bind you fast, and keep you true, / If I were wedded unto you. / For if you’d follow every bonnet, / Your TRUNK must have a lock upon it. / So know your fate if you’d be mine, / To padlock’d be, my Valentine., "No. 3", Provenance: Helfand, William H..
portly man is sleeping in a chair. A woman observes him from a window and says "I wish the lazy beast would wake.", Text: Tho’ you are PORTER, clumsy calf, / You shall not make me half and half / And fond of sleeping as you be, / No SLEEPING PARTNER find in me; / Short-winded, bloated, lazy elf / With care for no one but yourself; / Ne’er think to mate in wedlock sweet, / For you could not make BOTH ENDS MEET., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
Two tailor's dummies have bustles, wigs and other accessories attached to them. The valentine suggests that these accessories will not help the recipient find love., Text: ‘Tis all in vain your simpering looks, / You never can incline, / With all your bustles, stays, and curls, / To find a Valentine., Text: Lloyd, 17, Bellebury Square, Fleet street, 415, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A blacksmith stands at his anvil, using a hammer and tongs. His face is dirty and he is smoking a pipe. The valentine suggests that the smith's trade will prepare him for Hell in the afterlife., Text: A sketch of your visage, so ugly and cross, / Here behold, Mr. Blacksmith, of botches the Boss. / It can’t be disputed a wise choice you made, / When you took for a calling your black, sooty trade ; / For ‘tis well ere you die to get used to things hot, / In view of what surely will then be your lot., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man sits at a desk, writing with a quill pen. His eyes are closed and his nose has fallen into his inkpot, suggesting his work is exhausting., Text: You poor pen driver, with your inky fingers, / Constant drudgery still o'er you lingers, / The plan of your future I plainly can see, / A slave to your books and bottle you'll be., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman ice skates, and the wind blows up her skirt to reveal her ankles., Text: The naughty breeze! I mean no evil, / With female skirts does raise the devil -- / All pretty girls must skating go, / But do not like their legs to show-- / That is-- and here the dart most rankles, / If they, like you, have crooked ancles [i.e. ankles]. / What is revealed, makes me decline / To be to you a Valentine., Cf. Valentine 13.5., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The snob, or shoemaker, sews the leather upper to the sole of the shoe. The valentine mocks his appearance, drinking, and courtship of unobtainable women., Text: Now, Mr. Snobby, when next you're at work, / At hammering a sole on your lap, / For the sake of the woman who'd ever have you, / Just commit suicide with your strap. / Oh! wax'd ends and leather! tho' what do I see, / Getting toddy'd wherever you can; / Both stupid and lazy, and shabbily dress'd, / I believe that he thinks he's a man., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman ice skates, and the wind blows up her skirt to reveal her ankles., Text: The naughty breeze! I mean no evil, With female skirts does raise the devil -- / All pretty girls must skating go, But do not like their legs to show-- / That is-- and here the dart most rankles, If they, like you, have crooked ankles. / What is revealed, makes me decline To be to you a Valentine., Cf. Valentine 13.4., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a tall, thin man kneeling as he holds a baby. He prepares food on a spider pan over a candle. The valentine suggests that the man is weak and child-like, and his wife is an abuser of both him and the baby., Text: Don't strike and thump him, baby Dick, / Leave 'ma to hit him many a lick; / 'Tis her he fears, not you, who squall, / He trembles so, he'll let you fall -- / Poor, shivering, nussing skeleton, / With cuffs for teaching, when he's done., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman wears a dress with a large skirt and holds two bags. Behind her a man carries a trunk and a pile of boxes stands nearby. "Shin" means either to walk quickly, suggesting that the woman made numerous brief social calls after going shopping, or to borrow money, suggesting that she needed to make her purchases on credit., Text: Just dropt in -- can't stay a minute; / Got to visit all creation -- / Brought a few things -- had to shin it; / Come to make a visit-ation!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
On public transportation, two fashionable young men (a "pair of bloods") crowd a woman so much that her crinoline billows up, revealing her legs. The men's high opinion of themselves (as "big bugs," or men of importance) is not shared by the woman. A third man is visible in outline; each man wears a different style of hat., Text: Aint you a pretty pair of bloods, as in the cars you ride, / To croud and squeze a lady so, with room upon each side, / You are two big bugs indeed, the ladies think you are two swine, / To squeze a lady in the cars, and smash a crinoline., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The politician hides a bill marked "$100 bribe" behind his back, and he holds a bloodied knife marked "argument" in front of him. He stands at table with a contract on it. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Oh! you're a political rough, rough, / With your bowie-knife, pistol, and bribe. / Now the ballot-box better can stuff, rough, / Than you and your elegant tribe. / And 't is you, who, unless I mistake, take / Proper measures for winning the trick, / And keep your own voters awake, wake, / By touching them with a sharp stick., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman entering a carriage and a man standing behind. Her crinoline pulls up her skirt, hitting the man in the head and revealing her legs to him., Text: Go in, my dear-- go it with a rush, / And never mind the hat; / It is not often that I see / So big a leg as that., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a man with a dog's head. He wears boxing gloves labeled "insant death" and "six months illness.". He also wears a monocle and a top hat, which suggest that he is a "puppy," or dandy. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Do you think you ugly man, / Because you're like a black-and-tan, / And a hitter from the shoulder-joint likewise, / That on you the blooming girls, / With their fascinating curls, / Will glance with approbation in their eyes / If you do you're much mistaken, / For it's just as sure as bacon / No fighter can a woman's true love win, / But the soldier-boy whose blows / Fall on his country's foes / When the ring is pitched, the battle-field within., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The large-nosed boarding-house keeper is very thin. She holds a thin rooster by the neck in one hand and a knife in the other; "Age 65" is written on its body. A speech bubble by her face reads "You'l do/ Old BUZZARD." A butter dish with legs and insects appear in the top left corner. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resembled Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Old mother Skinflint, I know you well, / Your species is common, and mean at that; / You think yourself able to "keep an hotel," / Which in you're too stingy to keep a cat. / Your boarders look yellow and skinny and thin, / Just like the old rooster you feed them on-- / Why don't you hang out, from your sorry inn, / The sign of the "Living Skeleton?", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A German American woman ice skates, and a small figure in the background has fallen down., Text: You come all de way from Hoboken, / Mit a schmile upon your nose, / An', I dinks you is a fraulein, / A seeking for-- I knows! / So shust don't skate any more as dat. / But schlip like scheese away, / Un go mit me to de schustice mit de peace, / Und I'll make you mine vrow right away. / Never skates any more, den, bewitching fraulein, / If you would save from de colic your own Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Having fallen while ice skating, a woman sits on the ice with her crinoline and petticoats revealed. She gestures toward a sign which reads "ice cream." The punning text misconstrues her interest in ice cream as a statement regarding her predicament on the ice. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: You shiver and howl-- to move you dread, / You're game for all deriders, / Your balance gone and your thin legs spread, / Like a pair of drunk dividers. / "I scream!" you shriek in anguish'd tone, / A more summary plan you require; / Take off your skates and stay at home, / Knit stockings in front of the fire., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds out her arms in alarm after a man steps on the back of her crinolined skirt, causing her skirt to billow up to reveal enough of her legs to show her drawers., Text: Clear the track, Hackley -- your occupation's gone! / Here comes the new machine, a lady and her throng; / Her skirts sweep the street-- my feeling rankles-- / That men forget the dirt while gazing at her ankles. / She glides along in silence, with grace I confess, / Till some unlucky wight puts his foot upon her dress. / She quickly turns, while he bows with sorrow down. / And vents her spite, with "Oh! you awkward clown.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Bridget" looks at herself in the mirror glass. She wears a bonnet and large skirt with the crinoline visible. A broom stands rests on the dresser in front of her. Honiton refers to an expensive English lace company. Brass here means brazenness or impudence, and the valentine condemns her pretensions., Text: Bridget, sometimes, at the glass, / Tries Miss Julia's bonnet on;/ Making, thus, a face of brass, / Edged with lace of Honiton., Cf. 5.7., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands with her hands on her hips and her nose turned up. She flexes her right arm. The woman has pox marks on her cheek. The valentine possibly alludes to sexually transmitted diseases., Text: See what results from passion vile! / Look on this face, what ravage! / Let those beware, who would defile / Their natures like this savage., Cf. Valentine 9.47., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a large-chested man walking in a field. He holds a top hat., Text: You conceited old fogie, with face of Brass, / By nature intended for an ass; / But ape the Biped of two-legged kind, / With stomach, all a bag of wind. / Seek for thy wife in Afies clime, / And be her faithful Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The belle's dress is bell-shaped. She carries a parasol. The valentine uses slang, and it emphasizes that the belle is very talkative and uses such slang., Text: My parents named me Is-a-bel, / And fashion says I be a belle; / My clatt'ring tongue thumpbump pell-mell, / The same to every ear will tell; / Now see my flounces cut a swell, / Now hear the jingle, ding, dong, bell., Cf. Valentine 8.37 and Valentine 12.34., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A girl sits holding a book marked "grammar." A picture of a man is tucked inside of the book., Text: Spell Cat, my chubby little imp -- / "M A N, Cat," replied the girl -- / Thus, just as soon as they can limp, / Their thoughts, like flowers, to love impart., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A child's nurse holds an infant, and a young boy stands next to her and waves. She wears an apron, bonnet, and dress, and she sticks out her tongue., Text: A gay jolly soldier I always delight in, / He's ready for dancing, or singing, or fighting; / But when ladies essay it, I firmly decline, / As I see you have joined the infant-ry line., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman has devil horns and a tail, and her face and hair are blackened. She points to a fire., Text: Faces may be fair and round, / Tongues may be soft and clear; / But hearts when black, unmask'd are found / As I have pictur'd here., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a deck of cards, dice, dice cup, and a wine goblet with a snake in it., Text: There's mischief in both card and dice, / Or goblet, filled to brim; / The're [i.e. they're] only tricks made by Old Nick, / To draw men down to him., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A ice skating woman with her legs turned in flails her arms to regain her balance. Her skirt billows up to reveal her legs. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Though puggy of nose and void of grace, / Lanky of limb -- in feature wan; / The thought with each must have a place, / That something you are like the swan. / Ask not of me the reason why, / 'Tis breathed upon the chilly wind; / 'Tis echo'd by the skater's cry, / "A Swan! see, down on her behind!", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman sewing a dress. Both the woman's dress and the one she sews have red bodices and yellow skirts, but the one she sews has a lower neckline and shorter sleeves. The sender mocks the recipient for her status as a single woman., Text: My ugly old maid, how sad is your lot, / To work on some fine wedding gown, / And know all the while, live as long as you may, / You'll never have one of your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man with a waxed moustache, glasses, and a top hat. He stands in front of a man and woman. The valentine mocks the lounger for his unattractive idleness, superficial criticism of others, and transparent attempts to be near women., Text: Lounger! ambling 'round the places / Where the ladies congregate, / Critic of their forms and faces; / By them despised, you silly pate., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A thin man has a crane's head. He wears a blue jacket and cravat. He carries a large red syringe and has a medicine bottle in his pocket., Text: Mr. Pill with a very long Bill, / If my soldier laddie gets hurt, / If you don't cure him quick, I will tell you right slick, / You are brother-in-law to your Squirt., Variant of 2.39., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman has a snake's body and a pointed tongue., Text: Deceitful reptile! vain thy every art-- / To captivate my eye, or charm my heart; / For even change your skin, you'd be, at last, / Nought but what now you are-- a snake in the grass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in sleeping clothes stands next to a child seated in a chair. His wife sleeps in the bed behind them. "Gaby" means "simpleton.", Text: You, poor molly-coddling spooney fool, / This is a picture true to life: / Showing you in your shirt, so cool / With your baby, while calmly sleeps / your wife. / But you are just served right in that; / The only one we pity, is the blessed baby; / And if I was your wife, -- I tell you flat: / You would get something worse, you / stupid gaby., Cf. Valentine 13.43., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits at a table and drinks rum through a straw. A bartender stands at a bar in the background. "Sucker" refers to both an excessive drinker and an easily cheated person., Text: A sucker, when you were young, / A sucker, when older you've grown; / And thus, in good sooth, is plain for to see / No matter, how old, a sucker you'll be., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A frowning woman casts a shadow that resembles the Devil., Text: No meek exterior shall hide / The Pharisaic soul of pride: / Hypocrite -- turn thine eyes within, / Nor longer look abroad for sin., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman walks her small black dog. She wears an ornate gown, a flowered bonnet, and eyeglasses., Text: With the most ugly of all faces, Go on, and mimic all the graces: / How can you think, when in the street, The laughing, giggling men you meet, / That every laugh is but a smile, And that they love you all the while? / Good-bye, old maid-- without a clog, Go through the mud-heaps with your dog; / I don't know which I like the least, You or your dirty little beast., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man is seated in a cart pulled by a running horse. Two ships are in the background, one with a steam engine, and one with masts and sails. The valentine implies that the recipient presses the sender to engage in premarital sex. The sender rejects him because she does not believe he will marry her., Text: G'lang ole hoss -- high up, my spunky one! / Show 'em you'll do it -- can't you, though -- get on! / Allow me, sir, to interrupt you, -- do: / And, as you are, I will be EXPRESS, too; / I can't be pressed to favor your address, / And trust you'll make your pressing suit EX-PRESS., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "country pumbkin" is shown from the waist up. He carries a green pumpkin (or other squash) and wears a green top hat, blue jacket, and red vest. His mouth is open, either yawning or yelling. "Pumpkin" is a derogatory term for an important person., Text: Oh you poor corn-fed country Elf, / Behold the picture of thyself. / Hither come to make love's vows, / Better stay at home and feed your cows. / A city life will never do / For a stupid Hound like you, / Go hoe your corn and feed your swine / And keep your pumpkin for a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The storekeeper daintly holds a napkin in one hand and pours coffee on the table with the other. He is thin, has thick catfish-like whiskers, and opens his mouth either yelling or shocked. A vase and a book are on the counter in front of him. A "codfish" was a wealthy New Englander whose family fortune originated in maritime business., Text: Magnificent merchant! you much I admire, / O! you prince of the counter -- you odd fish! / No doubt in the future I'll see you aspire / To a place 'mong the regular codfish., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man falling over a woman's hoop skirt. The skirt billows up, revealing her legs. The valentine mocks the crinoline fashion for causing accidents. "Pegs" refers to men's legs., Text: The ladies' hoops do dreadful slaughter. / They often cause the chaps to lose their pegs; / And as often quite the girls to show their legs, / And make a world of sport and laughter., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man pulls back a curtain and holds his head. Behind him is a bureau with a mirror on it. The valentine condemns the jealous man for his incursions into privacy. "Dog's death" is slang for a terrible death, which the sender suggests the recipient deserves instead of a Valentine., Text: You selfish, vile, suspicious, jealous ape-- / You green-eyed monster in the human shape, / You fancy, things to others, thoughts unkown, / And paint all hearts as foul as is your own. / You sneak and watch, and like a fool you rave, / To all a torment, to yourself a slave; / A hangman's cord your ugly neck should twine, / And thus a dog's death be your Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A short and stout country bumpkin smiles and carries a pitchfork. The sender rejects the recipient's romantic advances because of his occupation., Text: My country chuck, go turn your hay, / And do not put me in a splutter, / By asking me to go away / With you, to make your cheese and butter., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a well-dressed white man gesturing to a seated African American man whose head, feet, and buttocks are disproportionately large. The "burs" suggest the seated man does field work, and his trousers are ragged., Text: O, massa Abolitionist! you're mighty fond of jokes, / And play em on de darkey as well as on white folks / But all your mighty promises dey neber come to pass, / And every we take your chair de burs stick in / our ---- trouserloons., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A large-nosed woman wears a large gown with petal-like furbelows. She holds a nosegay and walks a small dog., Text: The flower of your sex; O! yes indeed! / A flower already gone to seed, / And yet I will be prompt to say, / That you display a real nosegay., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
