A thin older woman with a large nose sits on a bench with a small child in front of her. She holds a comb and appears to be checking the child for lice., Text: There are some people I know well, / Who read of novels night and day, / While some do love to promenade, / And others love to dress quite gay; / But you, my many-wrinkled dame, / Have no desire to be a belle, / And though you sometimes crack a joke, / You crack some other things as well. / It is a blessed thing, I swear, / To have a comb-ly matron’s care., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man and a woman are seated, each holding a small child. The woman is wiping one child's rear end, while the second child is urinating on his father, who pinches his nose against the smell., Text: Since you’ve had children you’ve began / To be indeed an all-ter’d (TIED) man, / “How happy could I be with either, / Were the other young screamer away, / But while they both s—t me together, / From the stink I can’t get all the day., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
An older woman sits reading to three small children. The text suggests that she vents her frustrations at being unmarried on the children., Text: Deserted old damsel, so prim and demure, / You have lost all your hopes for a husband at last; / When you refused, and you now must endure, / Your old maidish thoughts and regrets for the past. / Sour tempered old dame whose only delight, / Is to tease the poor children who are put in your care; / On them vent your spleen if they are not quite right, / And to vex and annoy them as much as you dare., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man holds a child and a soiled cloth. A woman from behind a curtain asks, "Haven't you changed tha child yet?" The man replies, "Yes my love, and now he wants his chair." The valentine mocks him for being ordered around by his wife and makes use of scatological humor., Text: Why you silly mawkish dandle / Type of henpeck’d Mr. Candle, /Who at spousy’s angry word / Tho’ not dead will be in-terred (turd,) /And like a sailor in a sloop, / Will find a place upon the poop, /Do you think I would incline, / To choose a stinking Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman with a grotesquely large nose holds a baby and is accompanied by a small boy. The text suggests that since her large nose and head repel any possible suitors, she must content herself with caring for these children., Text: You looking for a Valentine, whoever would suppose, / You'd ever get a Valentine with such a head and nose, / You'd best stick to the nursery, and the children dandle, / Such a head and nose serves well for a handle; / You've got two kids already, therefore contented be, / I assure you for a Valentine you never will kid me., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
