A man holds a child and a soiled cloth. A woman from behind a curtain asks, "Haven't you changed tha child yet?" The man replies, "Yes my love, and now he wants his chair." The valentine mocks him for being ordered around by his wife and makes use of scatological humor., Text: Why you silly mawkish dandle / Type of henpeck’d Mr. Candle, /Who at spousy’s angry word / Tho’ not dead will be in-terred (turd,) /And like a sailor in a sloop, / Will find a place upon the poop, /Do you think I would incline, / To choose a stinking Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman wears a coat and a large-skirted gown that make her triangle-shaped. The valentine mocks the hoop skirt trend for the cage-like appearance of crinolines and the dirt the large skirts attracted in the streets., Text: Waddling pyramid you go, / Flounce flouncing in the snow; / Pretty lady do not rage, / When I say you're in a cage, / By a lot of hoops secured -- / Of it, I am well assured. / Head, of course, is left outside, / Bonnet on your back doth ride; / Sweep away the side-walks clean, / Of street sweepers, you're the queen., Cf. Valentine 1.41 and Valentine 8.37., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A waiter carries a large stack of plates. He has a cloth falling out of his pocket. A small dog is in his path., Text: With slomickey shoes upon your feet, / And greasy rag upon your arm, / You slop the hairy hash about, / And spill the gravy to a charm. / And when at noon you sometimes try, / To carry twenty plates or more; / With what a clatter then you drop, / The knives and forks upon the floor., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman holds out her arms in alarm after a man steps on the back of her crinolined skirt, causing her skirt to billow up to reveal enough of her legs to show her drawers., Text: Clear the track, Hackley -- your occupation's gone! / Here comes the new machine, a lady and her throng; / Her skirts sweep the street-- my feeling rankles-- / That men forget the dirt while gazing at her ankles. / She glides along in silence, with grace I confess, / Till some unlucky wight puts his foot upon her dress. / She quickly turns, while he bows with sorrow down. / And vents her spite, with "Oh! you awkward clown.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a broom in one hand and has her other hand in her pocket. She has dirt on her face and drools., Text: I've counted up all of earthly ills; / I threw a box of -- Somebody's -- pills; / But after I'd thought of every thing human, / I found the worst -- a slovenly woman., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands next to a lamppost. He has dirt on his face and shirt., Text: You are perfectly disgusting with paltry dirty ways, / You skulk about the house, and along the highways, / You are a sloven and a slouch, a lible on the race, / You've a ragged suit of clothes, and a dirt, dingy face., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The saloon girl holds a large tray carrying pudding with forks in it. "SALOON" is written behind her. The sender mocks the recipient for her oily hair., Text: Beautiful waiter-girl, are you aware / That the pudding you carry, (all suet), / Is capital dressing to put on the hair? -- / Yes, your head looks as though you well knew it!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a triangular gown and coat. The valentine mocks the crinoline fashion trend, particularly the dirt the skirts attracted in the streets., Pretty lady do not rage / When I say you're in a cage, / By a lot of hoops secured -- / Of it, I am well assured, / Sweep away the side-walks clean, / Of street sweepers, you're the queen., Cf. Valentine 1.41 and Valentine 12.34., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
An unwashed woman stands amongst animals, including a nursing dog and a cat who has killed a chicken. In the text, "slut" means "messy.", Text: One animal there is, always in disgrace, / Who cannot look you squarely in the face. / One class of women. too, ought to be cut, / And you are one of them I mean, a slut. / In this there's truth in every line, / And more than that, I'll find another. / Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a washboard with a bar of soap and suggests that the pianist foresakes hygiene to play. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Do you think this is vulgar? / Ah! no, / Ah! no, / Do you think this is vulgar? / Ah! no. / 'T were harder, I hope, / To go without soap, / Than to dispense with the jingling piano, / Yano, / Than dispense with the jingling piano., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits at a table and drinks from a bowl. A pile of kitchen utensils stands behind her, and a cat eats at her feet. The valentine condemns uncleaniness in women., Text: A nasty woman, let me fly, / She is a pest to ev'ry eye; / At least a female can be clean, / For sluttishness is most obscene., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A "nasty man" stands with his hands in his pockets. He spits in a long, thin line., Text: Pah! keep your distance, a man so disgusting, / So foul in his person, so rude in his tongue, / Cannot be the one that I'll put a trust in; / Go back to the dunghill whence you sprung., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Bricklayer wearing a smock and paper hat stands beside a wall and holds a trowel., Text: I vow to me it would be torture / To wed with one besmear’d with mortar; / In blessed singleness I’ll pine, / Rather than be your Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A farmer stands in a field holding a scythe. The sender considers farmwork dirty., Text: You pigheaded, grinning, ugly brute, / Go look after the pigs and the sheep; / For they are the only companions you’ll suit -- / No girl would your company keep. / You smell too much of horse and swine, / For any maiden to be thine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a beard smokes a long pipe. The text mocks the man for his accent and incomplete command of English, and for his dirty, crowded living situation., Text: Smoking your pipe, your likeness is here, / Mine Sour Krout friend, mid der larger bier, / In vone small room, yourself and vrow. / With nine children sleep -- besides a cow-- / And with all these dare’s drouble in de house, / Yaw -- dat is nice -- Nix cum rouse., Provenance: Helfand, William H.
A thin man sits in a washtub. He holds a large bar labeled "Soap.", Text: Go wash yourself! You dingy whelp, / With grime and filth you’re fairly blue; / Take lots of soap and pumice-stone, / The dirt has struck you thro’ and thro’ / And if to lose so much in weight / Should make you thin, or give you cold, / Console yourself, for what comes off / Can for manure be quickly sold!, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A maid polishes a pair of boots. The valentine plays on the words work and play to suggest that the maid is promiscuous., Text: Dirty, ugly, vulgar, pert, / So begrimed with grease and dirt, / I vow that I should be afraid of, / Seeing what that maid is made of, / Tho’ call’d maid of all work! They / Say you’re often made of play, / And when with sweethearts you’ve your swing / The maid is quite a different thing!, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A blacksmith stands at his anvil, using a hammer and tongs. His face is dirty and he is smoking a pipe. The valentine suggests that the smith's trade will prepare him for Hell in the afterlife., Text: A sketch of your visage, so ugly and cross, / Here behold, Mr. Blacksmith, of botches the Boss. / It can’t be disputed a wise choice you made, / When you took for a calling your black, sooty trade ; / For ‘tis well ere you die to get used to things hot, / In view of what surely will then be your lot., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
An unkempt woman leans against a post and drinks from a bottle of liquor., Text: Begone, you dirty drunken jade, / And feed along with swine, / For none but a pig would have you / To be his Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A baker stands in front of his oven. He is smoking a pipe and his shovel leans on the wall next to him., Text: The bread that you bake is not fit for a dog, / Your pies and your cake would sicken a hog; / Sawdust-flour you use, rancid butter and lard, / For such practice you ought to be feathered and tarred, / Or else to be taken and baked in your oven -- / You dirty old cheat, and rascal, and sloven., Provenance: Helfand, William H.
A baker in a paper hat is putting a pie into an oven. His shoe has split open and his red nose, combined with the word "sodden," imply that he is drunk while on the job., Text: What! Buy of you! Your senseless grin / Would sour all your pies, / And not a loaf, poor, sodden oaf, / But would smatter of your lies. / Heavy as lead, your lightest bread, / Cakes, buns, and buscuits, all; / Smash your paper cap on your grinning head, / And into your oven crawl!, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
