A man stands behind the counter in a dry-goods shop. He leans forward on his hand and stares intently, with wide eyes, at the women who frequent the store. Signs in front of the counter read "Fancy goods, etc." and "Bargains", and a sign on the wall reads "Goods of all kinds cheap at any price. Give us a call.", Text: You staring, dull-eyed booby, you think you're the dude of the town, / But there is not a girl who see you, but thinks you a boorish clown. / You measure only the cheapest goods, both second-hand and new, / But the cheapest stuff that you handle, is worth much more than you. / With a starvation rate along, behind the counter you strut, / And long your boss will keep you there, of the girls to be the butt., Similar to Comic Valentine 3.2, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman holds a hat and stands in front of a display of fabric. The valentine suggests that the recipient is promiscuous with her customers., Text: Read this, my good woman and don’t think it hard, / When you let out your ribbons and love by the yard; / I’m fond of a roller, sometimes it is true, / But I don’t care a pin for a roller from you. / And in temper and passion we plainly may tell, / If we grant you a yard, you’ll be taking an ell. / So adieu, Mrs. Huckaback, here I must stop, / For I love not a beauty who smells of the shop., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A shopkeeper stands behind a counter with his hands in his pockets. Across the counter a customer observes the scales and says "False, sir." The valentine accuses the recipient of cheating his customers., Text: You call yourself a business man, / But you cheat the public when you can, / In all your goods, short weight you give, / And rob the poor, yourself to live., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man sits at a desk, writing with a quill pen. His eyes are closed and his nose has fallen into his inkpot, suggesting his work is exhausting., Text: You poor pen driver, with your inky fingers, / Constant drudgery still o'er you lingers, / The plan of your future I plainly can see, / A slave to your books and bottle you'll be., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A store keeper stands behind the counter. He has a red nose and pencil tucked behind his ear. Behind the counter are a large number of labeled goods, showing the variety of odds and ends in his stock. The valentine suggests that his customers would be less inclined to be attracted to him than to buy some of the junk he sells., Text: In your shop folks can find every goods, and more too-- / Grass, grogs and grocery; fruits, old and new; / Wood-ware and all wares, temperance gin, / Brooms, bristles and bed-clothes, to draw in the tin; / All things you can sell by the large or the small, / And you are the very worst sell of them all., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man stands behind a counter and measures leaves in a set of scales. He is wearing an apron and pointed shoes. Beneath the counter is a box marked sloe-leaves. The sender implies that the shopkeeper substitutes sloe leaves for tea., Text: Original, should be the word, / Genuine, is quite absurd, / For Ash and Sloe leaves sure must be, / At least a new invented Tea; / So Verdigris, I don’t incline, / To take you for a Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man with a gap-toothed grin weighs leaves in a set of scales. The packet he holds in his hand is labelled "Imitation tea" and several other containers behind the counter are labeled "Dutch pink", "Tea Dust", and "Verdigrease". The valentine suggests the clerk cheats his customers., Text: Original, should be the word, / Genuine, is quite absurd, / For Ash and Sloe leaves sure must be, / At least a new invented Tea; / So Verdegris, I don’t incline, / To take you for a Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
An older woman leans on a counter. A dog sits on its hind legs on the other dise of the counter. A sign says "All kinds of fancy goods". The valentine suggests that her ill-temper makes he unfit to serve customers or attract a husband., Text: You ill-tempered maid, old age is creeping o’er you, / And you ill-treat the folks, who come to buy from you / Your restless tongue’s abuse, is sharper than a burr, / And you’re only fit to wait, upon some stupid cur. / Nobody will buy from you, and he who’s your boss, / Should send you off at once, and save a further loss., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man stands behind a counter wearing an apron, with his hands in his pockets. On the other side of the conter another man holds upa set of balances and says "False, Sir.", Text: Tho’ in butter cheese, and such as these / You deal, your CONDUCT’s not the CHEESE / They say the buyer never fail / To find ‘gainst him you turn the scale. / By such tricks you rob the poor, / Untill the jury at your door, / Finds you out and prove too late, / We cannot trust a man of WEIGHT. / Measures not men’s a motto fine, / Then an honest! Thief shall ne’er be mine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman wears a dress with a large bow, gloves and a hat and carries an umbrella. The valentine criticizes her for talking too loudly., Text: In girls of these progressive days / A little boldness we expect, / And, when within due bounds it’s kept, / Not many will object: / But, o’er all bounds you go so far / With your loud ways, and saucy face, / That every one’s disgusted with / Your lack of womanly grace., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman in an elaborate outfit smiles and puts one hand on her hip. Her smile reveals gaps in her teeth. The valentien suggests she has an inlfated opinion of herself., Text: In cheap, dinky togs, which you think very fine, / You try every Sunday to cut a big shine; / Of style or of beauty you’ve nothing to speak, / But you make up your shortage with plenty of cheek. / Perhaps you imagine that people you meet / Don’t know what you are as you walk down the street; / If so, you’re in error to think them so green, / For you’re known for a Shop Girl as soon as you’re seen., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
