A Bricklayer wearing a smock and paper hat stands beside a wall and holds a trowel., Text: I vow to me it would be torture / To wed with one besmear’d with mortar; / In blessed singleness I’ll pine, / Rather than be your Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
An older woman stands with her hands over her heart. The bottom of her dress is shaped like an upside down heart and has the words "To Let" on it. Next to her is a sign that says "A heart wanted." A Hoosier is a resident of the state of Indiana., Text: You’re forty, if you are a day, / And yet no husband comes your way. / It is too bad that such a face / Should live alone in such a place. /Take in your sign, and get thee West,-- / There aged maidens thrive the best. / For Hoosiers, when they seek a pal, / Are all content if she’s a gal., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A coachman in an elaborate uniform sits on the box of a carriage and holds a whip. "Spooney" means foolish or sentimental., Text: Old Coachee, mounted on your box, / You look as stupid as an ox; / The coach of Wedlock, do not strive, / With me old boy you ne’er shall drive / So all your views at once resign, / You spooney looking Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A poulterer stands in a door in his shop wearing an apron. In one hand he holds a bird a knife in the other. Several dead birds are hanging up, while several live birds are in a cage, and a chest is filled with eggs., Text: The Poulterer surely is the man; / To please the fair if any can, / He tries as far as he is able, / To suit their taste and grace their table. / But tho’ good-will formed all he’s gained, / There’s One whose smile could he obtain, / He’d ever anxious be to prove, / His wish to please as well as Love., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man with a sheep's head kneels and clasps his hands together. He has a basket full of flowers over one arm. "Pap" is a food for small children., Text: Pray don’t kneel to me with flowers sweet and rare, / With basket on your arm, Sheep-face that you are- / How can you think a maiden like myself, / Could have one thought of thee, simple love-sick elf! / Go home unto your mammy, sit upon her lap, / She will feed her baby on soda-bisuit pap., Cf. Comic Valentine, 9.41, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
portly man is sleeping in a chair. A woman observes him from a window and says "I wish the lazy beast would wake.", Text: Tho’ you are PORTER, clumsy calf, / You shall not make me half and half / And fond of sleeping as you be, / No SLEEPING PARTNER find in me; / Short-winded, bloated, lazy elf / With care for no one but yourself; / Ne’er think to mate in wedlock sweet, / For you could not make BOTH ENDS MEET., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
Two tailor's dummies have bustles, wigs and other accessories attached to them. The valentine suggests that these accessories will not help the recipient find love., Text: ‘Tis all in vain your simpering looks, / You never can incline, / With all your bustles, stays, and curls, / To find a Valentine., Text: Lloyd, 17, Bellebury Square, Fleet street, 415, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man in a frock coat plays the violin., Text: ‘Tis by your Music, you’re anxious to try / With dulcet like notes, my poor heart to decoy / But Sir you’ve quite fail’d that object to gain / Your chords are all discord, I listen with pain, / As for your looks too, be candid I must / When I see you I turn from the sight with disgust., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
The valentine shows a man standing in profile; his shadow resembles a goose., Text: Oh! pray great Good, and silly elf, / Go from my sight, and hide yourself. / 'Mongst christains [i.e., christians], surely is no place / For a thing, with such a face. / A goose like you must live alone, / No Duck will ever be your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A worker wearing a hat and apron hold a piece fo cloth on a stick above a dyeing vat. The sender rejects the recipient because of his lowly occupation., Text: Your person reminds me of some ugly Cub / Therefore I advise you to stick to your tub/ If by Dying you live pray sir don’t die for me, / For my heart’s not engaged yet nor likely to be., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman is looking in a mirror. The reflection shows a cat's face. "What a reflexion!" appears in a speech balloon above her head., Text: With sweet talking, smiling, singing, / A Bean to catch yourself prepare; / Yet no such fool was ever living, / Who cannot see that you ensnare., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
The carriage driver has a large nose, a beard and curly hair. He holds a horse whip and a woman watches him from a window in the background. "Shoful" is slang for questionable., Text: Although you drive a Hansom, a handsome driver you are not, / For your looks are very "shoful," and your's is a shabby lot; / So drive away dear Cabby, and don't cast sheep's eyes at me, For I like a smarter chap than you -- your "fair" I'll never be, Provenance: Helfand, William H.
A bent-backed carpenter is using a plane. His pants are mended with a patch and his nose is red and dripping. A saw, chisel, hammer and other tools are on the floor of his shop., Text: Come, stand erect and plain away, my beau of sawdust, chips and shavings, / St. Valentine’s, that happy day, is hastening round to ease your ravings; / Then don’t be downcast, see above, a sketch I’ve made of your sweet features / Then come and wed, with love for love, we’ll prove to all, we’re Cupid’s Creatures., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man in a coat and top hat and bear are separated by bars. The man's head is turned away from the bear and the bear is looking at the man. The text characterizes the man as having dangerous animal qualities, and the placement of the two figures poses the question of who is really the beast in a cage., Text: A Bear, what is it but a surly brute? / A pest to women, above dispute, / A surly brute are you, none can deny, / Also a nuisance to society, / Therefore, old Growler, I do decline / To Bruin be a Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man in a coat and top hat and bear are separated by bars. The man's head is turned away from the bear and the bear is looking at the man. The text characterizes the man as having dangerous animal qualities, and the placement of the two figures poses the question of who is really the beast in a cage., Text: A Bear, what is it but a surly brute? / A pestto women, above dispute, / A surly brute are you, none can deny, / Also a nuisance to society, / Therefore, old Growler, I do decline / To Bruin be a Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman wears a tapered, bustled, ruffled skirt that forces her to bend forward in the Grecian Bend. She holds a small parasol and wears a hat. The valentine mocks the recipient for thinking her fashionable dress is attractive to men. The Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869., Text: A slave to Fashion's tyrant laws, / You court each silly fop's applause; / Did you but know what I can see, / How shocked, I fancy, you would be. / You will, I hope, leave off this style, / Your dress provokes a pitying smile., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears rustic attire and a wide-brimmed hat. He holds a long walking stick and stands next to a fence. The figure's posture, expression, and facial features are androgynous, and the valentine associates being "lovesick" with effeminancy., Text: Cease your sighing day and night, / Moping like a lovesick dove, / Go 'list, and serve the Right, / And prove yourself worthy of my love., Signed: Green., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Green.
A man is seated in a cart pulled by a running horse. Two ships are in the background, one with a steam engine, and one with masts and sails. The valentine implies that the recipient presses the sender to engage in premarital sex. The sender rejects him because she does not believe he will marry her., Text: G'lang ole hoss -- high up, my spunky one! / Show 'em you'll do it -- can't you, though -- get on! / Allow me, sir, to interrupt you, -- do: / And, as you are, I will be EXPRESS, too; / I can't be pressed to favor your address, / And trust you'll make your pressing suit EX-PRESS., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman reads a sign that says " INTELI- / GENCE/ OFFICE." She holds an umbrella and circle of rope. A young man thumbs his nose behind her. The phrase "not to know B from a bull's foot" means to be completely illiterate., Text: Verdant damsel, jolly green! / Never was a simpler seen; / B from Bull's foot scarce you know, / Yet you think to catch a beau., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man lies on his back with his arms and legs up and bottom facing towards the viewer. He wears ice skates, and the ice around him has cracked. Likening him to a coin, the sender rejects the recipient for landing with his tail up., Text: A game of chance, played with a nickel, / Suggested is by your pickle; / Head or tail! -- I'll watch and see, / If I your Valentine shall be. / The Tail is up! -- the Head is down! / Your doom is sealed, your fate is known -- / Heads lose -- Tails win-- the game is mine, / Go seek another Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a hog's head ice skates. He carries a walking stick and wears fashionable clothes, suggesting that he is a dandy. The word "cove" is slang for fellow, and the expression "hog on ice" suggests lack of grace and control. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: I love to lie in the shady grove, / In the arms of him whose heart I prize; / Or 'neath the skimm'ring moon to rove, / And gaze into his lustrous eyes. / O'er the frozen pool to glide I love, / With him whose love is past all price; / Get out, Pork-Chops! you're not the cove, / 'Tis not with you, you Hog on Ice!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Modern Cupid is a man with large mutton chops, a beard, and small wings holds a string of hearts. The text suggests that he has a financial approach to love. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Cupid in whiskers and all-round collar / Is now a sight of every day, / With hearts for sale, (two for a dollar), / And sometimes hearts to give away. / He takes his part in every pageant, / Is for his business tact renowned, / Acts as a matrimonial agent, / And plays the mischief all around., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man rides a ram and holds a banner that reads "Friendship, Love, Truth," the motto of the Odd-Fellows society. The initials "FLT" are written underneath him., Text: Ah! now my odd friend, as you're up for a ride, / On your orders, odd emblem, I know very well; / But never, dear Sir, can I be the Bride / Of a man whose order will lead him to h---., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a couple kissing. The clock on the wall indicates that it's one o'clock, and a candle burns nearby. His receding hairline and her staid demeanor suggest that they are older than the norm for courtship. Thus, the late courtship is literally late-at-night and possibly an object of ridicule given their ages., Text: As you daintly sip the dews from her lips, / Both time and the hours scorning, / You sit all night in gay delight, / And don't go home 'till morning., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits with her hands folded and her head down., Text: Oh! I can't think of you, my dear little darling, / You're all the time fawning, and fretting, and snarling; / So take my advice, now, and don't be forgetting, / Youl'll not get a husband, my charmer, by fretting., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a pair of breeches, and "I runs wid der sewing machine I does," and "tailoring done" are written behind her., Text: Ah! me, don't you see, I'm sadly in need / Of some one to tinker me with needle and thread? / I've long had my eye on your useful machine -- / Your "Wheeler and Wilson," of course, I mean. / To the end that my clothes shall be in repair, / My oldest breeches I'll permit you to wear, / And never shall grumble, unless you, sweet Miss, / Some other gay Valentine should prefer to kiss., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldiers stands with his chest puffed out and his hand on his hip., Text: Say! Song of Mars, / With lofty figure, / Did you ever pull a trigger? / I know you didn't invent powder, / Although you talk a great deal louder. / Shun men who're really brave-- / You couldn't fight your soul to save; / Go keep your tale of love untold, / For my affection's for the bold., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The grandmother wears a poke-bonnet and shawl. The valentine mocks older women who pursue younger men., Text: I'm a lonely Grandmother, / And want a young beau, / To nurse and caress me / As older I grow., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A young man looks at a poster of an elephant. Behind him is a sign that reads "NOTICE GENTLEMEN FROM THE COUNTRY TAKEN IN," suggesting that the recipient is from the country and will be exploited in the city., Text: My tender sprout of cabbage head, / I would your young heart deceive; / So seek some more congenial bed / To flourish in, -- and now leave., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman's figure has two heads. One is smiling and says "My love to you, dear ," while the other has a forked tongue and says "Bad luck to the wretch." The text translates roughly to: "Cheers, Sir. Oh, how polite, to indulge us with the privilege of your presence, if I see the man I'd like to stick a pincer in his guts." The valentine suggests the recipient's words mask malicious intentions., Translation: "Cheers, Sir. Oh, how polite, to indulge us with the privilege of your presence, if I see the man I'd like to stick a pincer in his guts.", Text: Wohl bekomm’s mein Herr / Ach, wie artig, uns die Ehre / Ihres Besuches zu gönnen, / Wenn ich den Menschen sehe / Möcht icht eine glückende Zange / In seine Eingeweiden umkehren., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A maid wearing an apron is holding a bed-warmer. The word "empty" is written over her head. The valentine suggests that her lack of brains means she is condemned to a life a menial tasks., Text: The reason why you don’t get on in life-- / Is the Sending of the Valentine to you a hollow mockery?, Cf. Valentine 14.42., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman with glasses and a bun is sewing bonnets. The valentine suggests she is unattractive to suitors and will be an old maid, so she should focus on her millinery., Text: Miss bonnet-builder, such a guy I never saw before, / Your bonny hair is a knob behind, your nose a knob before, / That your head’s a bonnet-block that of it maybe said, / Who would ever have a Valentine that is a blockhead, / So drop the thoughts of Valentines and attends to bonnet shapes, / For you are built for an old maid, in future to lead apes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A cook wearing a bonnet holds a pot on a stove. She has a long pointed nose. The Valentine suggests she is too ugly to find love., Text: Goddess of the fries and stews, / To court the male sex ‘tis no use; / Your nose I’m sure is only fit / To make a kitchen roasting spit; / Then cut your foolish ways, pray do, / I’ll ne’er have a Valentine like you., Signed: Pickering., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man with a crocdile head holds a handkerchief to his teary eye. Two women are looking at him, one has her hands on her hips. The sender accuses the recipient of being insincere and deceitful., Text: I love a man that is sincere in all he’ll say and do, / But not a sniveling Crocodile, deceitful wretch like you / Who for any paltry end can always whine and cry, / You ugly, paltry, sniveling brute, deceit is in your eye. / You may whine and do your best at which we only laugh, / But let us tell you love’s too old to be thus caught by chaff., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A poulterer stands behind a counter with a fowl in his hand and smiles. The valentine suggests that although he can be ingratiating, he is not trustworthy., Text: Stands the Poulterer pert and sly, / Madam, pray step in and buy; / Ah! Buy indeed, to buy and rue, / Would be to buy a goose like you; / Never, by cock and hen, I swear, / Shall you be mine, unpolished bear., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A young woman in a gown holds a bouquet of flowers., Text: Thou languishing young lady bird, / Thou angel quite untainted, / With ruby lips and well formed hips, / Pray tell me – are you painted! / You’re uglier than the Gorgon, / That hightoned folks to stone, / I little thought my darling, / Such a beauty you’d have grown., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A bartender wears an apron and rolled-up shirtsleeves. He pours a beer from a tap and appears to be dancing. The sender rejects him because she does not consider him cultivated enough for her., Text: Oh! Mr. Barman, / you never will be, / The cultivated kind of man / to marry me., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman with glasses and a bun is sewing bonnets. The valentine suggests she is unattractive to suitors and will be an old maid, so she should focus on her millinery., Text: Miss bonnet-builder, such a guy I never saw before, / Your bonny hair is a knob behind, your nose a knob before, / That your head’s a bonnet-block that of it maybe said, / Who would ever have a Valentine that is a blockhead, / So drop the thoughts of Valentines and attends to bonnet shapes, / For you are built for an old maid, in future to lead apes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wearing a cloak and bonnet holds at lamppost for support. Her mouth is open and she appears drunk. A sign on the wall behind her says "Gin." The Valentine faults her for her drunkenness., Text: Hic, -- hic, --hic, --drink is your soul's delight, / And your only Valentine, / Go, you drunken wretch, steep your brain in Alcohol, / You never shall be mine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A coachmen wearing a top hat opens the door of a carriage., Text: When I’m stuck behind the Carriage, / With my cockade on my hat, / The servant maids, I hear them / Say, a nice young man is that., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman with a long nose holds a bonnet. Other millinery articles sit on a table behind her and a piar of scissors hangs from her waist., Text: Ugliest of the fair creation, / With lips that are not red but blue; / And face devoid of animation, / Take me for your lover true., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman wears a large hoop skirt, a cape, and a feathered hat, and carries a parasol and small bag. The sender suggests that such attention to appearances will not make up for the recipient's personal defects., Text: With a fine hat and painted face, / Leading a life of gay disgrace, / Don’t think that wearing such a hat, / Will aid you to catch a flat, / Your false hair is nicely braided, / Your infamy well paraded., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A portly woman smiles vacantly and holds a bottle of liquor. The valentine suggests that her consumption of alcohol has permanently rendered her unattractive., Text: O! Whisky is your souls delight / Your only Valentine. / Go steep your brains in alcohol. / You never shall be mine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man in his night clothes carries a musket and a candle. He holds the candle up to shed light on a man who is hiding in the fireplace. In the background, his wife looks out from behind the door. The text suggests that if the lover continues his behavior, another husband will shoot him., Text: You are an ill conditioned sneak, / U[pon] every amourous freak, / For you have spent your wretched life / In seeking some one else's wife; / Behold what perhap may be your fate, / Carrying on at this sad rate; / Some angry husband may discover, / And blow out your brains my general lover., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with a grotesquely large nose holds a baby and is accompanied by a small boy. The text suggests that since her large nose and head repel any possible suitors, she must content herself with caring for these children., Text: You looking for a Valentine, whoever would suppose, / You'd ever get a Valentine with such a head and nose, / You'd best stick to the nursery, and the children dandle, / Such a head and nose serves well for a handle; / You've got two kids already, therefore contented be, / I assure you for a Valentine you never will kid me., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a monocle and a whip stands in front of a wall. He has antlers protruding from his head., Text: You queer looking fellow, you ill looking brute, / You never will me for a valentine suit, / And if for a husband I ever should take thee / This is the figure I'd certainly make ye., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
The snob, or shoemaker, sews the leather upper to the sole of the shoe. The valentine mocks his appearance, drinking, and courtship of unobtainable women., Text: Now, Mr. Snobby, when next you're at work, / At hammering a sole on your lap, / For the sake of the woman who'd ever have you, / Just commit suicide with your strap. / Oh! wax'd ends and leather! tho' what do I see, / Getting toddy'd wherever you can; / Both stupid and lazy, and shabbily dress'd, / I believe that he thinks he's a man., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a sword in his hand. His hat is decorated with two figures. Behind him is a dead body with detached legs., Text: O thou, man of fame and slaughter, You cannot have my mother's daughter; / You are the man, I most could bet, That went away from poor Jeanette. / What's the use of that long sword to you? Void of courage to run an enemy through, / Or even a bull-frog to attack a rush, Thou art no soldier, but a man of mush., Cf. Valentine 10.15., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The trooper [i.e., cavalry soldier] kneels before a young woman who is crying. He wears a blue Union uniform, and his hat and gloves lie on the ground before him. Sitting on his spurs, the trooper appears pained. The text and image suggest that the trooper has no interest in the woman's feelings, and is concerned only with his immediate physical discomfort., Text: Ah! what is the matter, my trooper so gay, / While to this young lass you are kneeling? / Your head, it is soft-- as for heart you have none, / Your butt alone seems to have feeling., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a sword in his hand. His hat is decorated with two figures. Behind him is a dead body with detached legs., Text: O thou, man of fame and slaughter, / You cannot have my mother's daughter; / You are the man, I most could bet, / That went away from poor Jeanette. / What's the use of that long sword to you? / Void of courage to run an enemy through, / Or even a bull-frog to attack a rush, / Thou art no soldier, but a man of mush., Cf. Valentine 10.14., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
