The woman wears a bonnet and carries a large hat box. "Cap-a-pie" means "head to foot.", Text: So you've come out armed cap-a-pie, / To try and catch a man, / And this to do you'll spare no beau, / But catch one if you can., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with glasses and a bun is sewing bonnets. The valentine suggests she is unattractive to suitors and will be an old maid, so she should focus on her millinery., Text: Miss bonnet-builder, such a guy I never saw before, / Your bonny hair is a knob behind, your nose a knob before, / That your head’s a bonnet-block that of it maybe said, / Who would ever have a Valentine that is a blockhead, / So drop the thoughts of Valentines and attends to bonnet shapes, / For you are built for an old maid, in future to lead apes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with glasses and a bun is sewing bonnets. The valentine suggests she is unattractive to suitors and will be an old maid, so she should focus on her millinery., Text: Miss bonnet-builder, such a guy I never saw before, / Your bonny hair is a knob behind, your nose a knob before, / That your head’s a bonnet-block that of it maybe said, / Who would ever have a Valentine that is a blockhead, / So drop the thoughts of Valentines and attends to bonnet shapes, / For you are built for an old maid, in future to lead apes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a gown with large sleeves and a headdress with large feathers. "Upper Ten" refers to the elite., Text: As a fair belle of Fashion, / I charm all the men, / And a husband I'll catch / 'Mongst the tall "Upper Ten.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits with her hands folded and her head down., Text: Oh! I can't think of you, my dear little darling, / You're all the time fawning, and fretting, and snarling; / So take my advice, now, and don't be forgetting, / Youl'll not get a husband, my charmer, by fretting., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Modern Cupid is a man with large mutton chops, a beard, and small wings holds a string of hearts. The text suggests that he has a financial approach to love. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Cupid in whiskers and all-round collar / Is now a sight of every day, / With hearts for sale, (two for a dollar), / And sometimes hearts to give away. / He takes his part in every pageant, / Is for his business tact renowned, / Acts as a matrimonial agent, / And plays the mischief all around., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The disagreeable man frowns and has a creased face., Text: A proverb that I often hear, / Most truthfully to you applies; / Let's whisper it into your ear -- / 'Tis, "Vineagar never catches flies.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man with a rabbit's head. He holds a stick., Text: My dear little fellow, / You most make me laugh, / To look for a wife, / You're too timid by half., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in a sailor's clothing stands by a pile of cannon balls and holds a sword. One meaning of "splice" is to marry, and the sender rejects the recipient. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: My friend, I vow that I'm not over nice, / Yet in a lover I want something fine; / So you and I can never hope to splice, / For you shall never be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The nincompoop smiles, holds a ball, and plays a whistle. His eyes are crossed, his knees turn in, and his ears are elfin., Text: Now, really, my kind sir, d'ye think I'd stoop / To have a man who's such a nincompoop? / 'Twere better far if single I'd remain, / Than wed a man who had so little brain., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds a rifle and looks through the sighting mechanism. He wears a long blue coat and carries a rucksack, which suggest that he is a Union soldier., Text: No doubt, my dear friend, with your good rifled bore, / You could hit on the wing an old-fashioned barn door; / But when you attempt to pierce a girl's heart, / You will find you've attempted a difficult part. / So put down your rifle, you wall-eyed blockhead, you, / I would rather die an old maid than wed to you., "514", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman walking. The text suggests that the sender will "read" the recipient now that he has read all the books in libraries and bookstores., Text: I have read every Library / And book-store through; / And, since fate decrees it, / I'll read only you., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man rides a ram and holds a banner that reads "Friendship, Love, Truth," the motto of the Odd-Fellows society. The initials "FLT" are written underneath him., Text: Ah! now my odd friend, as you're up for a ride, / On your orders, odd emblem, I know very well; / But never, dear Sir, can I be the Bride / Of a man whose order will lead him to h---., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a Union soldier standing near a cannon and a pile of cannonballs. He has white hair and moustache., Text: Oh gunner bold and gunner wise, / With reddish nose and glassy eyes, / Although you can adjust your gun, / You can as well turn around and run. / I would as leave on bullets dine, / As have you for my Valentine., "511", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man standing in profile; his shadow resembles a goose., Text: Oh! pray great Good, and silly elf, / Go from my sight, and hide yourself. / 'Mongst christains [i.e., christians], surely is no place / For a thing, with such a face. / A goose like you must live alone, / No Duck will ever be your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A carpenter carves a heart out of wood. He holds a hammer and awl, and a saw, chisels, and triangle are on the bench behind him., Text: Oh, why is gentle love / A stranger to that mind! / Which pity and esteem can move-- / Which can be just and kind., "91", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A coachman in an elaborate uniform sits on the box of a carriage and holds a whip. "Spooney" means foolish or sentimental., Text: Old Coachee, mounted on your box, / You look as stupid as an ox; / The coach of Wedlock, do not strive, / With me old boy you ne’er shall drive / So all your views at once resign, / You spooney looking Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman with a sharp, thin nose sits at sewing machine., Text: You know it is so, that you are but sew-sew, / Yet you smirk, all the young beaux to wheedle; / Though shirt bosoms you pierce, yet a human's no go, / For your nose is as sharp as your needle., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man applies paste to wallpaper. A tub marked paste is behind him, and scrolls of wallpaper surround him., Text: You look so well with brush and paste, / And pipe stuck in your jaw! / The lady has a shabby taste, / Who could refuse your paw, / A man like thee who quickly can / Clothe in fair beauty's dress / Her mansion walls, and stately halls / In robes of loveliness., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A poulterer stands in a door in his shop wearing an apron. In one hand he holds a bird a knife in the other. Several dead birds are hanging up, while several live birds are in a cage, and a chest is filled with eggs., Text: The Poulterer surely is the man; / To please the fair if any can, / He tries as far as he is able, / To suit their taste and grace their table. / But tho’ good-will formed all he’s gained, / There’s One whose smile could he obtain, / He’d ever anxious be to prove, / His wish to please as well as Love., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A stern woman wears boxing gloves. "Ruff" means passion or excitment as a well as a collar. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]. The valentine suggests that the recipient channel her passion for fighting into romantic passion., Text: Your glove, my enchantress, / I'd rather excuse, / The paw of a panth'ress / 'Twere safer to choose. / There's a fashion in collars, / As well as in Cuffs, / Round your neck, then, why don't you / Put "one of the Ruff's"?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union recruit stands with his musket over his shoulder. His jacket is too large for him and makes him look childish., Text: A raw recruit my taste don't suit, / Althought he should make me a queen-- / And I see from your face, / And your unnatural grace, / That you are too awfully green., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The schoolmaster holds a book and a switch in his hands, and he stands next to a bench with a fool's cap on it. The valentine mocks the recipient for courting a younger woman., Text: How now, Master Dominio! what want you here. / I'm sure, I'm too old to be going to school; / And if you are wishing to wed me, my dear, / I'm sure you must take me to be a young fool., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits sewing as a small dog looks up at her., Text: My pretty young damsel, my very heart itches / With love for yourself, and I've made up my mind / As I've sat by your side and watched your quick stitches, / To ask you this day to be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The peddler carries two cases and stands in front of a sign that reads "5 miles to [illegible].", Text: Sell your stuffs and laces, / Pedlar, and your [i.e. you're] sure to win; / But take up women's faces, / And sartin you'll be taken in. / But not at Matrimony's door-- Oh, no, / You're far too stiff to make a pleasant [illegible]., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union sentinel holds a gun and wears a uniform that is too big for his frame, making him appear childish. The sender mocks the recipient and suggests that he will never marry., Ill. signed: B., Text: Say! Lonely Sentinel; when on thy beat, / Do'st ever long the one thou lovest to meet? / Do'st ever wish when though demand'st the pass, / That she that gave the countersign might be thy lass? / Oh! vain is thy hope, and grey will be thy hair, / Before she gives the watchword to "Who goes there?", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with sheep's head kneels with his hands folded. His tongue sticks out, and he has roses in his pockets. "Pap" is a food for small children., Text: Pray don't kneel to me with flowers sweet and rare, / With basket on your arm, Sheep-face that you are, -- / How can you think a maiden like myself, / Could have one thought of thee, simple love-sick elf? / Go home unto your mammy, sit upon her lap, / She will feed her baby on soda-biscuit pap!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a sheep's head kneels and clasps his hands together. He has a basket full of flowers over one arm. "Pap" is a food for small children., Text: Pray don’t kneel to me with flowers sweet and rare, / With basket on your arm, Sheep-face that you are- / How can you think a maiden like myself, / Could have one thought of thee, simple love-sick elf! / Go home unto your mammy, sit upon her lap, / She will feed her baby on soda-bisuit pap., Cf. Comic Valentine, 9.41, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A German American woman ice skates, and a small figure in the background has fallen down., Text: You come all de way from Hoboken, / Mit a schmile upon your nose, / An', I dinks you is a fraulein, / A seeking for-- I knows! / So shust don't skate any more as dat. / But schlip like scheese away, / Un go mit me to de schustice mit de peace, / Und I'll make you mine vrow right away. / Never skates any more, den, bewitching fraulein, / If you would save from de colic your own Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a tapered, bustled, ruffled skirt that forces her to bend forward in the Grecian Bend. She holds a small parasol and wears a hat. The valentine mocks the recipient for thinking her fashionable dress is attractive to men. The Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869., Text: A slave to Fashion's tyrant laws, / You court each silly fop's applause; / Did you but know what I can see, / How shocked, I fancy, you would be. / You will, I hope, leave off this style, / Your dress provokes a pitying smile., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a sword in his hand. His hat is decorated with two figures. Behind him is a dead body with detached legs., Text: O thou, man of fame and slaughter, You cannot have my mother's daughter; / You are the man, I most could bet, That went away from poor Jeanette. / What's the use of that long sword to you? Void of courage to run an enemy through, / Or even a bull-frog to attack a rush, Thou art no soldier, but a man of mush., Cf. Valentine 10.15., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a sword in his hand. His hat is decorated with two figures. Behind him is a dead body with detached legs., Text: O thou, man of fame and slaughter, / You cannot have my mother's daughter; / You are the man, I most could bet, / That went away from poor Jeanette. / What's the use of that long sword to you? / Void of courage to run an enemy through, / Or even a bull-frog to attack a rush, / Thou art no soldier, but a man of mush., Cf. Valentine 10.14., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldiers stands with his chest puffed out and his hand on his hip., Text: Say! Song of Mars, / With lofty figure, / Did you ever pull a trigger? / I know you didn't invent powder, / Although you talk a great deal louder. / Shun men who're really brave-- / You couldn't fight your soul to save; / Go keep your tale of love untold, / For my affection's for the bold., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a bear's head and a tail holds a rifle., Text: Your presence as a lover, / Right gladly I had hailed; / But that of fair proportions, / You are cruelly cur-tailed., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A poulterer stands behind a counter with a fowl in his hand and smiles. The valentine suggests that although he can be ingratiating, he is not trustworthy., Text: Stands the Poulterer pert and sly, / Madam, pray step in and buy; / Ah! Buy indeed, to buy and rue, / Would be to buy a goose like you; / Never, by cock and hen, I swear, / Shall you be mine, unpolished bear., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman holds a pair of breeches, and "I runs wid der sewing machine I does," and "tailoring done" are written behind her., Text: Ah! me, don't you see, I'm sadly in need / Of some one to tinker me with needle and thread? / I've long had my eye on your useful machine -- / Your "Wheeler and Wilson," of course, I mean. / To the end that my clothes shall be in repair, / My oldest breeches I'll permit you to wear, / And never shall grumble, unless you, sweet Miss, / Some other gay Valentine should prefer to kiss., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands in a dramatic pose and holds a bleeding heart in front of her. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: "Oh! If us two must part / For ever and for ever, / Take back your bleeding heart, / It is too hard to sever!", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A young woman in a gown holds a bouquet of flowers., Text: Thou languishing young lady bird, / Thou angel quite untainted, / With ruby lips and well formed hips, / Pray tell me – are you painted! / You’re uglier than the Gorgon, / That hightoned folks to stone, / I little thought my darling, / Such a beauty you’d have grown., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
portly man is sleeping in a chair. A woman observes him from a window and says "I wish the lazy beast would wake.", Text: Tho’ you are PORTER, clumsy calf, / You shall not make me half and half / And fond of sleeping as you be, / No SLEEPING PARTNER find in me; / Short-winded, bloated, lazy elf / With care for no one but yourself; / Ne’er think to mate in wedlock sweet, / For you could not make BOTH ENDS MEET., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
Two tailor's dummies have bustles, wigs and other accessories attached to them. The valentine suggests that these accessories will not help the recipient find love., Text: ‘Tis all in vain your simpering looks, / You never can incline, / With all your bustles, stays, and curls, / To find a Valentine., Text: Lloyd, 17, Bellebury Square, Fleet street, 415, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man in a frock coat plays the violin., Text: ‘Tis by your Music, you’re anxious to try / With dulcet like notes, my poor heart to decoy / But Sir you’ve quite fail’d that object to gain / Your chords are all discord, I listen with pain, / As for your looks too, be candid I must / When I see you I turn from the sight with disgust., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A bartender wears an apron and rolled-up shirtsleeves. He pours a beer from a tap and appears to be dancing. The sender rejects him because she does not consider him cultivated enough for her., Text: Oh! Mr. Barman, / you never will be, / The cultivated kind of man / to marry me., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A Union soldier with a moustache holds a sword and fires a pistol. Cannonballs have severed his forearm and shin from his body. "Fire-eater" refers to Southern advocates of seccession., Text: Bullet and bayonet! grapeshot and shell! / Nothing of that sort to you comes amiss, / By the moustache that becomes you so well, / You are quite worthy an Amazon's kiss. / Say, do you eat all you slaughter, mon brave? / Ogre-ish, methinks, / is your countenance dread; / Doubtless your sword is a "Secesher" would halve, / After a bullet had gone through his head! / When from the war with a wreath on your brow, / Back to the North you come-- then, if you'll shave, / I will be yours as in heart I am now, / And in the interval long may you wave!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The gambler holds a billiard cue and stands in front of a billiard table. Three other male figures are in the background., Text: Oh! vain moustache-lounger, just look here, / You seem a specimen of human kind-- / But now alas! I tell you most sincere, / You lack that greatest quality-- the mind / The billiard cue-- the spectacle, and all, / Denote that you in games are hard to beat; / But in the game of love there is a call, / No long-ear'd vagabound, like you, can meet., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The merchant sits on a counter with knees twisted over his arms. A sign behind him reads "LINEN DIAPER." The sender mocks the recipient's misguided assumption that women find him attractive., Text: You pert Counter-jumper, with sick'ning grimace / You smile, smirk, and simper your meaningless face / You think yourself killing-- perhaps it is true, man, / For you'd be the death of a sensible woman. / Oh, yes! you're a Cupid, or think yourself so, / The counter your fortress, the yardstick your bow; / But I'd have you know, my impertinent spark, / You have shot all your arrows quite wide of the mark., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The ship carpenter has a spike-shaped nose and an anchor tattoo on his hand. He hold an axe stands on a piece of wood, and a ship frame is behind him., Text: Spike nosed beauty, man of brads/ Drive the nails and fly the adze: / Big head, wide mouthed, lanky hips, / With legs just like your own spare chips, / For me in vain you thump and chop, / You'll never do for me old block., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The snob, or shoemaker, sews the leather upper to the sole of the shoe. The valentine mocks his appearance, drinking, and courtship of unobtainable women., Text: Now, Mr. Snobby, when next you're at work, / At hammering a sole on your lap, / For the sake of the woman who'd ever have you, / Just commit suicide with your strap. / Oh! wax'd ends and leather! tho' what do I see, / Getting toddy'd wherever you can; / Both stupid and lazy, and shabbily dress'd, / I believe that he thinks he's a man., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier puts snuff in his nose and leans his rifle against his arm. Dead soldiers lie around him, and cannonballs are in the air and on the ground., Text: To make folks think you're bold and brave, / You swear your country you will save, / And fiercely charge upon her foes, / But first you'll stop to charge your nose; -- / Like the dog that lost the rabbit. / When taken short, -- as was his habit; / This application suits me fine, / That I can't be your Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier wears a Zouave uniform and holds two pistols out. He has a pistol tucked into his belt, and his sword scabbard hangs away from his body. A smoking cannonball lies between his feet and a bullet is near his head., Text: Hero! how my fond heart doats / On your trowser petticoats; / On your leggins, tight and trim; / On your cap without a brim; / On your lip of hair prolific, -- / Arab-Yankee-- you're terrific! / There's a wild light in your eye--/ Is it valor? Is it rye? / O! beware of whisky-skin, / Brains go out as that goes in. / Sober keep, and by the Nine! / You shall be my Valentine., Cf. Valentine 13.45., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man drinks from a wine glass., Text: You vow and protest that you never will love, / Than myself, any other young lass; / But already you love something better than me / You love stronger your every day glass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
