A Union soldier stands near a doorway and observes his wife changing his child's diaper. The valentine suggests that the realities of domestic life are shocking after military service., Text: Your time is up and you have come, / With blast of bugle -- roll of drum, / What meets your gaze? your tidy wife, / And the stern realities of life., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits and bounces a baby on his foot. The sender criticizes the recipient for not fighting in the Civil War and implies that his wife will cheat on him. The verse has the same meter and rhyme scheme as the nursery rhyme "Rock-a-bye baby.", Text: Rock-a-horse baby, and don't make a noise, / Your daddy belongs to the stay-at-home boys; / Kid gloves on his fingers, new boots o'er his toes, / He has fine music wherever he goes. / So rock-a-horse, baby, your mother may roam, / But you'll find that your daddy is always at home., "525", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A young man wears boots, a red fireman's shirt, and a stove pipe hat, clothing typical of the Bowery B'hoys, or young men from the Five Points neighborhood in New York City. "De machine" refers to the b'hoys involvement in the city politics. "Mussy" means drunk, and "Gone into the lemons" may mean passed out after drinking alcoholic punch., Text: You know that you're one of the bo'hoys, / And bound to run with de machine; / You take up half of the walk, / And think every one must be green: / You always keep blowing 'bout something, / When you're mussy, you make such a noise, / There's no peace in the crib till you're gone, / Into the lemons--- with some of the bo'hoys., Cf. Valentine 8.9., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A young man smokes a cigar as he leans against a water pump platform. His attire and posture mark him as one of the Bowery B'hoys from the Five Points area of New York City. "De machine" refers to the b'hoys involvement with city politics. "Mussy" means drunk, and "Gone into the lemons" may mean passed out after drinking alcoholic punch., Text: You know that you're one of the bo'hoys, / And bound to run with de machine; / You take up half of the walk, / And think every one must be green: / You always keep blowing 'bout something, / When you're mussy, you make such a noise, / There's no peace in the crib till you're gone / Into the lemons-- with some of the bo'-hoys., Cf. Valentine 8.10., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows the head and neck of a woman. "Pizen" is dialect for poison and, by extension, cheap liquor., Text: Sooner than marry you my dear / I'd drink "Pizen" by the bowlful / Because I'd always have the blues / If I'd a wife so Doleful., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Miss Nancy" is a derogatory term for effeminate men. "Judy" is a derogatory term for women derived from the puppet show "Punch and Judy." The man holds a baby as the character Judy does, and the hooked-nose woman resembles Punch and shakes her fist at them. The valentine mocks the reversal of gender roles and criticizes timid husbands and controlling wives., Text: You perfect Judy -- you Miss Nancy -- / Just such a thing as your wife did fancy; / She wanted a man that she could handle; / You suited, for you're just the thing to dandle. / MORAL. -- He would be a woman's tool, / Will find himself a henpecked fool., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The deserter kneels, with a dog in front of him and another dog behind him urinating on him. He holds a tub over his head to protect himself from the poker and the iron which his wife holds., Text: You left the Camp of war and strife, / Expecting quiet with your wife, / But you're assailed, behind, before, / You had better leave for war once more., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A buck-toothed woman holds a rolling pin over a man's head, and the image resembles a "Punch and Judy" puppet show., Text: Who will marry such a termagant wife, The plague of her own poor husband's life? / Who distorts all her features with anger and rage, / Yet can't tell the reason why, I'll engage. / To others I such charms resign, You ne'er can be my Valen[tine]., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands at attention and holds his musket and bayonet. A "regular" soldier refers to a member of the standing army. The sender rejects the recipient because of the restrictions he would place on his wife and the "regular," or boring lifestyle it would result in., Text: My love is a regular man -- / A man with a regular way; / He means to regulate me -- if he can, / When he gets his regular pay. / But I'll be no regular's wife, / No! no! not for all creation; / For who could enjoy married life, / When bound to a mere regulation., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in sleeping clothes stands next to a child seated in a chair. His wife sleeps in the bed behind them. "Gaby" means "simpleton.", Text: You, poor molly-coddling spooney fool, / This is a picture true to life: / Showing you in your shirt, so cool / With your baby, while calmly sleeps / your wife. / But you are just served right in that; / The only one we pity, is the blessed baby; / And if I was your wife, -- I tell you flat: / You would get something worse, you / stupid gaby., Cf. Valentine 13.43., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man pulls back a curtain and holds his head. Behind him is a bureau with a mirror on it. The valentine condemns the jealous man for his incursions into privacy. "Dog's death" is slang for a terrible death, which the sender suggests the recipient deserves instead of a Valentine., Text: You selfish, vile, suspicious, jealous ape-- / You green-eyed monster in the human shape, / You fancy, things to others, thoughts unkown, / And paint all hearts as foul as is your own. / You sneak and watch, and like a fool you rave, / To all a torment, to yourself a slave; / A hangman's cord your ugly neck should twine, / And thus a dog's death be your Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two fashionably dressed men wears sashes. The one in the foreground holds a top hat. The valentine mocks the secretiveness of the Odd Fellows and the recipient's tendency to stay away from home., Text: Why are you odd? Why don't you get even? / O! that excuse, "Must be off to my Lodge." / Reform, stay at home on night in seven, / Tell me the secret, and own up the dodge., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wearing a dress with a bustle stands in front of a chest. Over it hangs a sign that says "Election Laws," and she holds a piece of paper over a pot, presumably to vote. A carriage is visible through the doorway. Bustles became popular after 1869., Text: Since, in this progressive age, / Woman's Suffrage is all the rage, / You strive in this to take the lead, / As if 'twere a case of vital need; / When you thus seek among the men to roam, / We're apt to think there's something wrong-- at home., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A bride is depicted as a cat, and the groom as a rat. The bride holds an envelope marked "Mr. & Mrs." Both are dressed formally; he wears a top-hat, and she wears a gown with a hoop skirt and a bonnet. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Pussy, when the rat she catches, / Smooths him down with velvet paw, / Then for change his hide she scratches / With her curved relentless claw. / So it is in wedlock's matches, / Beauty leads us like a straw, / Till she's got us "under hatches" -- / Then look out for Pussy's law!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A wrinkled woman wearing a bonnet sits in a chair. "Caudle" refers to a popular "Punch" magazine character serialized in 1845. The valentine suggests her husband's desire to be absent from his wife is warranted and that he will face violence when he returns., Text: Poor Mr. Caudle has gone to his club -- / A club waits for Caudle at home: / How can he such a dear creature snub? / How wish from her arms e'er to roam?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Punch (London, England).
A man in sleeping clothes stands in front of his baby in a chair. His wife sleeps in the bed behind him., You poor molly-coddling spooney fool, / This is a picture true to life, / Showing you in your shirt, so cool / With your baby, while calmly sleeps your wife. / But you are just served right in that, / The only one we pity, is the blessed baby: / And if I was your wife, -- I tell you, flat, -- / You would get something worse, you stupid gaby., Cf. Valentine 8.31., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holding a piece of rope stands over a woman with a black eye who is kneeling on the floor. On the wall behind them is a clock with a disapproving face. The sender criticizes the recipient's brutish behavior in beating his wife and suggests that many of the neighbors share his opinion., Text: Ill looking, ill conditioned Brute, / What punishment your crime will suit, / That coward from I’d naked strip, / And put in each neighbour’s hand a whip / To hunt you as they would a beast, / From North to South, From West to East, / Until you knelt at spousy’s feet, / Humbly for pardon to entreat., "199", Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man in his night clothes carries a musket and a candle. He holds the candle up to shed light on a man who is hiding in the fireplace. In the background, his wife looks out from behind the door. The text suggests that if the lover continues his behavior, another husband will shoot him., Text: You are an ill conditioned sneak, / U[pon] every amourous freak, / For you have spent your wretched life / In seeking some one else's wife; / Behold what perhap may be your fate, / Carrying on at this sad rate; / Some angry husband may discover, / And blow out your brains my general lover., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a leash around her husband's neck, and he holds a baby. The valentine criticizes advocates of women's rights for degrading men., Text: She who be-littles her husband's name, / Knows not what to woman's grace belongs; / The Rights some silly women claim, / Are nothing less than a husband's wrongs., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Affection" burlesques domestic disturbance. The husband and wife stand facing each other; she is armed with a sword, and he holds a riding crop over his head. The room is in disarray, with a chair and a three-legged table overturned. The text and image suggest that marriage ends in conflict, and the sender attempts to dissuade the recipient from it. Also visible in the room are a framed picture, a fireplace with a vase of flowers on the mantle and a kettle on the grate, an alarmed cat, drapery with a tie-back for a multipaned window, and carpeting., Text: O, this is the way 'twill be with us, / When we've been wed a year; / We'll be at it, shovel and tongs, / I promise you, my dear! / Like the poor cat upon the hearth, / We'll both be in hot water; / The hair will fly, the wife will cry,/ the table fall, the baby squall / And the fire get hot and hotter., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man holding a small child in one arm and a chamber-pot chair in another. The child says "poop dad de." A woman observes them from behind a curtain. The name Caudle refers to a popular "Punch" magazine character (Mrs. Caudle, a "curtain lecturer") serialized in 1845. The valentine advocates withholding sexual and procreative activity as a means of punishing a controlling wife., Text: Caudle, though you're a very clever, / As a nursery maid, / Still dear Mistress Caudle ever / Will her spouse upbraid. / Then while you nurse each pledge of love / which your sweet charmer bore; / Have your revenge, and swear by jove, / You'll not make any more., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Punch (London, England).
