A woman with large, pointed facial features stands at a door holding the doorknob., Text: From all that is lovely, I'm sorry to find, / Both of grace and of mind, you're exempt; / And though to think well, my heart is inclined, / You only can merit contempt., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows an overweight woman with ringlet curls. Her gown is low cut., Text: "Fat, fair and forty," I have heard / As terms of half praise; on my word / I could not say the same of you, / Fat, ugly, lazy, is too true., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A large-nosed woman wears a large gown with petal-like furbelows. She holds a nosegay and walks a small dog., Text: The flower of your sex; O! yes indeed! / A flower already gone to seed, / And yet I will be prompt to say, / That you display a real nosegay., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman with pointed, enlongated features and crossed eyes., Text: I do not fear ghosts. I have no dread / Of those who in churchyards stalk; / Yet I would not wish to see your head. / Start up in my lonely walk., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A cook wearing a bonnet holds a pot on a stove. She has a long pointed nose. The Valentine suggests she is too ugly to find love., Text: Goddess of the fries and stews, / To court the male sex ‘tis no use; / Your nose I’m sure is only fit / To make a kitchen roasting spit; / Then cut your foolish ways, pray do, / I’ll ne’er have a Valentine like you., Signed: Pickering., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman wears a dress with furbelows and a bustle. The valentine suggests that she is not a beauty, but attracts male attention when she is the only woman out at night. Bustles became popular after 1869., Text: O! you are the handsomest---all the beaux swear / That for beauty you top the heap; / I think you so too when you're taking the air, And all the rest are asleep., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with a long, shaded nose looks in the mirror on a bureau. She wears a dress with a bustle. The image in the mirror has less shading and exaggeration, suggesting that the woman's admiration of herself is deluded. Bustles became popular after 1869., Text: There was never a woman old fashion or ugly, / But what thought she possessed every beauty and grace, / And you're no exception, but as none else can see them, / You're compelled to admire yourself in the glass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a narrrow-skirted gown, cape, ermine muff, and bonnet. The sender suggests that he remembers the recipient negatively. A "fancy fair" was a fundraising event at which ornaments and articles of fancy were sold for charitable purposes., Text: I met her at a Fancy Fair -- / Would I had never ventured there! / Her image doth my mind possess, / But not with fancy fair, I guess!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with a hairy face and gap-toothed smile looks at her reflection in a mirror. The sender's parise is ironic., Text: Oh! Thou art my joy and my pride, / So delicate soft is thy skin: / Those blushes, my fair, never hide, / For fain I’d my Valentine win., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A girl stands with her hands on her hips. Her face is covered in bandages. The valentine suggests the injuries might be self-inflicted., Text: Pray tell me, miss, how came you by them? / Are they cuts or scratches? / Or are they beauty-spots—good gracious! / All those awful patches?, "392", Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A large woman stands at a washing tub, and her dress is low-cut. There is a container marked "soft soap" behind her, and "soft soap" is slang for flattery or sugar-coating, suggesting that the recipient is too idealistic., Text: Scrubbing Judy, Oh you beauty! / All your curls are steamed to strings -- / Swash and spatter in your duty, / Soft-soap well the pesky things; / Rubbing, scrubbing, Judy sings, / As the soap-suds out she wrings., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman has black curly hair and wears ice skates and a skating costume., Text: That flashing eye, that beaming brow! / Those curls that wildly float and shine / O, if thy hair's as false as thou, / Thou'lt prove a sorry Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman bends forward in the Grecian Bend caused by fashionable bustles and restrictive skirts. She holds up her skirt revealing her ankles and petticoats. The Grecian bend style of bustle became popular after 1869., Text: Thou languishing young lady-bird, / Thou Angel quite untainted; / With ruby lips, and well formed hips, / Pray tell me, -- are you painted? / You're uglier than the Gorgon / That frightened folks to stone, / The Grecian Bend don't help you, / So ugly have you grown., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A young woman in a gown holds a bouquet of flowers., Text: Thou languishing young lady bird, / Thou angel quite untainted, / With ruby lips and well formed hips, / Pray tell me – are you painted! / You’re uglier than the Gorgon, / That hightoned folks to stone, / I little thought my darling, / Such a beauty you’d have grown., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman sits with her hands on her lap. She has a carrot in her hair, perhaps suggesting that she's died it red., Text: UGLIEST of the fair creation, / With carrots for fashion on your head; / Face devoid of animation, / Your lips are blue, instead of red. / Dried and wilted are your features, / They're charmless for this heart of mine; / And if I'd wed you I would be sure / To have no rival Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with a long nose holds a bonnet. Other millinery articles sit on a table behind her and a piar of scissors hangs from her waist., Text: Ugliest of the fair creation, / With lips that are not red but blue; / And face devoid of animation, / Take me for your lover true., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman sits at a work bench with sheers and a bolt of blue fabric on it. Vests hang on a clothes line behind her., Text: Put away your sheep-face, wench, / You're only suited for the bench; / The ill-shap'd form resembles thee, / Such nondescripts don't do for me. / Such vests as you pretend to make. / What gent would wear, for Heaven's sake? / Go, go, you remnant, mend you ways, / And think no more of brighter days., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a pair of tongs. Her face is creased, and she frowns. The sender suggests that the recipient's appearance and behavior make her an appropriate wife for the devil., Text: A scolding tongue, a vicious mind, / A face the counter part of evil, / In you we find are all combined, / To make a fit wife for the -----., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman ice skates, and the wind blows up her skirt to reveal her ankles., Text: The naughty breeze! I mean no evil, / With female skirts does raise the devil -- / All pretty girls must skating go, / But do not like their legs to show-- / That is-- and here the dart most rankles, / If they, like you, have crooked ancles [i.e. ankles]. / What is revealed, makes me decline / To be to you a Valentine., Cf. Valentine 13.5., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman ice skates, and the wind blows up her skirt to reveal her ankles., Text: The naughty breeze! I mean no evil, With female skirts does raise the devil -- / All pretty girls must skating go, But do not like their legs to show-- / That is-- and here the dart most rankles, If they, like you, have crooked ankles. / What is revealed, makes me decline To be to you a Valentine., Cf. Valentine 13.4., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman walks her small black dog. She wears an ornate gown, a flowered bonnet, and eyeglasses., Text: With the most ugly of all faces, Go on, and mimic all the graces: / How can you think, when in the street, The laughing, giggling men you meet, / That every laugh is but a smile, And that they love you all the while? / Good-bye, old maid-- without a clog, Go through the mud-heaps with your dog; / I don't know which I like the least, You or your dirty little beast., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with a grotesquely large nose holds a baby and is accompanied by a small boy. The text suggests that since her large nose and head repel any possible suitors, she must content herself with caring for these children., Text: You looking for a Valentine, whoever would suppose, / You'd ever get a Valentine with such a head and nose, / You'd best stick to the nursery, and the children dandle, / Such a head and nose serves well for a handle; / You've got two kids already, therefore contented be, / I assure you for a Valentine you never will kid me., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with exaggeratedly large lips sits with a screaming child on her knee. Both she and the child wear large feathered hats., Text: You nasty, drunken, stupid cat, / Likewise your frightful squalling brat, / Are both so ugly that 'tis vain / Your various features to explain! / Your lips are nothing else but good 'uns, / Exactly like two large black puddings; / Nature, you've no cause to thank it / For eyes like burnt holes in a blanket; / In short, devoid of bow or feather, / You are a beauty all together., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wearing bloomers rides a bicycle. She has a wide grin and several missing teeth. The valentine mocks her good humor and compares her to monkeys and donkeys and plays on the word "asinine.", Text: Oh, dear, what a sweet little creature! / Who can deny that you shine? / There’s not face in the cage of the monkeys, / At the Zoo, can compare with thine; / And so bright you are! And so witty! / To list’ to your merry “tee-hee,”/ Makes one think of some happy young donkey / Indulging in asinine glee., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
