The Union recruit carries a musket, rucksack, canteen, powder horn, and bayonet. He appears too small to carry them all., Text: "On to Richmond!" now's the call: / Rally, rally, great and small: / Oh! by golly, how they'll scoot, / When they see you, raw recruit., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The fop wears a large, triangular frock coat, top hat, gloves, and thin trousers. His hair is curled, and he carries a switch cane., Text: A shining black hat, and glossy shirt collar, / A coat, pants and vest of cut most divine, / A little switch cane, you really would make for / Your tailor, a beautiful traveling sign., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The old maid wears a yellow and red ball gown with lace gloves. She holds up her skirt to dance. She has numerous wrinkles., Text: Of all the olds maids that ever I knew, / There never was one half so jolly as you; / A mistake there has been, I am much afraid, / You ne'er were intended to be an old maid., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man in a top hat and tails standing at a counter marked "Tailor." The valentine suggests that the dandy should amend his behavior in order to attract women., Text: Little dandy, don't suppose, / Any girl will favor / You, just for your suit of clothes, / Try--suitable behavior., "501", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with disheveled hair sits at a table with his chin resting on one hand. In the other hand, he holds a handkerchief., Text: O! you sigh for a wife-- how funny / No a girl must be flat indeed, / Unless you had mints of money, / To take up such a broken reed., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A seated man sews a sock by candelight., Text: This picture I send, to show you your end, / The end of not only a few-- / Old Nick I intend as your intimate friend, / For the devil serves thus such fellows as you. / Alas, you poor fool! 'tis plain to be seen / That one thus to live, indeed, 'tis a sin: / There's plenty to have you, if you only knew it, / 'Tis certain, indeed, you never would rue it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The bachelor walks holding a large umbrella under his arm. His nose and chin point towards a statue of a naked woman., Text: Your buttonless shirt, and ragged coat sleeves, / Proclaim you to be an old Bach; / Pray hunt up some young maid, I really believe / If you tried, you would soon make a match., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands with her eyes half open. The sender mocks the recipient's desire for marriage., Text: It is not good for a man to be alone, / Nor woman either-- so you're always sighing; / So you will strive to be the rib of one / Good man, if you should even die in trying., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "Old Bachelor" sits on a stool in front of a fireplace. He holds a toasting fork, and a kettle sits near the fire. His appearance is generally ragged, with an overgrown beard, disheveled hair, and holes in his socks., Text: O! poor old Bach; you must be lonely, / Your stake in life is small; / I look at you, and wonder only / How you exist at all., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"The Army Contractor" shows a bearded man in a fur hat and coat, with his hands in his pocket. He stands near a chest with drawers. The valentine criticizes contractors for their dishonest practices. Camphene is a mixture of oils used for lamp fuel and explosives., Text: For whiskyy [i.e. whiskey] ou [i.e. you] sell bad camphene toddy,/ And clothe poor soldiers with flimsy shoddy;/ Its not after glory you pant,/ Its only after dollars and cents you want., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The cavalry dandy has his face turned upward. His facial hair consists of sideburns and a moustache. He wears large star-shaped spurs and carries a large sword., Text: When mounded [sic] on your blooded steed, / You look both bold and fine indeed; / But when your foremost in the fray, / Be sure you do not run away., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in a green and red uniform looks into a tube, possibly a gun or cannon. He holds a monocle over his eye, carries a walking stick, and has long hair, suggesting that he is a dandy. The sender criticizes the recipient for posing as a soldier and suggests that he is effeminate., Text: Your swashing gate and vacant stare, / Pleased fools in times of peace, / But since afraid to go to war, / Put off the duds and cease., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears a jacket with "USA" printed on it. He stands in front of a gravestone. Another man sits at a table with a glass and decanter on it., Text: That Northern man that so much honor lacks / That he would stab his brethren in their backs, / Is worse by far than he who boldly fights / Against his country, e'en for fancied rights., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears rustic attire and a wide-brimmed hat. He holds a long walking stick and stands next to a fence. The figure's posture, expression, and facial features are androgynous, and the valentine associates being "lovesick" with effeminancy., Text: Cease your sighing day and night, / Moping like a lovesick dove, / Go 'list, and serve the Right, / And prove yourself worthy of my love., Signed: Green., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Green.
The valentine depicts a Union general standing by a table. Casting a glance over his shoulder, he writes "Despatch [i.e. dispatch] No. 10,000" on a piece of paper. The sender criticizes the recipient's competency as a military leader., Text: Oh high and mighty general, I don't know where your match is. / Especially as regards the manufacture of dispatches; / In every one's opinion, you would make a first rate clerk / Who would have to do much thinking, and but very little work. / You had better take a friend's advice, resign your situation, / Or your general imbelicity will bring general indignation., "527", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Zouave Union soldier holds out two pistols and has a sword on his back. A cannonball is between his legs, and bullet is near his forehead., Text: Your tales fiery Zou-zou must surely amuse us / Picking up lighted shells to spit on their fuses / Catching balls in your hands and returning them home / I certainly own are marvelously some., Cf. Valentine 11.48., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The soldier stands with his hand on his chin. His chest is puffed up, and his jacket forms a small, bird-like tail. He carries a sword., Text: Let others court the phantom-- Glory / Ambitious of historic story; / You seek not fields of strife and blood, / Your feats are for the body's good. / The sword is but the scourge of men, / And not so mighty as the Pen; / Sooner than fight on plain that's murkey, / You'd make a charge upon a Turkey., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The thin secessionist wears a large hat and has two pistols and a large knife stuck in his belt. He has an arrow with a skull and crossbones label in his forehead. The text suggests that the Civil War appears to be ending or has recently ended., Text: With sallow visage, gaunt and grim, / And legs-- like TREASON'S chances-- slim, / You wander round as might a ghost / From the foul region of the lost! / Or SATAN'S self, whose pride God quelled, / When he, like you, 'gainst RIGHT rebelled! / You mourn perchance, the tale of dread / Whose opening scene was Hilton Head, / And groan, that on Secessia's shore / The stars of Freedom blaze once more. / Think you a Northern girl would mate / With such a godless reprobate!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union private holds a rifle with a bayonet., Text: As you pace your lone rounds in the wilds of "Secessia" / My dear little heart forever will bless you / And when the war's over if you so incline / You may take me and make me your own Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union solider holds a rifle with a bayonet. He has a porcine nose., Text: Mr. Rifleman, but I would be a flat, / If you think that with you I would wed: / Cheeks put out your eyes -- nose turn'd to the skies-- / Like a turnip, my dear, is your head. / One like you is enough for a bed, / So with you I'll never wed., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A monkey pushes a cart loaded with bags marked "powder." The valentine suggests that the recipient has more in common with monkeys than humans., Text: You're to the soldiers quite a flunkey, / Beauteous little power monkey; / Should you get killed-- oh heaven forbid it-- / The world would want to know who did it; / For when you die, Gorilla's brother, / Where can we pick up such another?, "524", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The drum major wears a large hat and holds a batton. "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat"] was a term for soldiers who shirked their duties., Text: Go it, Drum Major, now's your chance, / High in the air make your baton dance; / Friend of the ladies, let me kiss you, / If you should die, oh how I'll miss you. / My eyes with tears would ne'er stop running -- / You old D.B., I'm only funning., "516", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A frowning woman looks in a hand-mirror. The "monarchs...trembling on Europe's thrones" may refer to the Revolutions of 1848., Text: While monarchs are trembling on Europe's thrones, / The Queen of the Uglies need have no fear; / There's none, I'm sure, in these Western zones / Who will ever dispute your title clear., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a short Union soldier with a large helmet., Text: You say you'd march through thick and thin, / Through fair or stormy weathers, / But I'm inclined to think we'd find / You all fuss and feathers., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands in a contorted position with his head between his legs. He wears a Zouave uniform and holds a pistol and rifle with bayonet., Text: Lay low, lay low, my jolly boy, / You're enough for any rebel, / And should they see you in this fix, / They'd surely think you were the devil., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A goose wears a Union jacket, carries a rucksack, holds a gun, and smokes a small pipe., Text: Pray tell me if you can, whatever was the use / Of your going for a soldier? Eh, you silly, green old goose; / You should have staid at home with your friends, my pretty creature / Instead of going 'mongst your foes, who'll kill and maybe eat yer. / With war's chances all against you, there's no telling how you'll die, / Things won't look so lovely, if, dear goose, you should hang high., "519", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a woman sewing a pair of breeches with a pile of completed breeches next to her. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Hard is thy lot, my honey dear / On soldier's pantaloons aye working, / And yet this thought is so funny, dear, / Within my wicked mind is lurking / Far fitter you than cannon balls / Breaches to make in fortress walls., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a Union officer holding his sword out of its scabbard. There is a cannon ball near his foot., Text: My valiant gory son of Mars, / The way I love is a sin; / If you want me, the Stripes and Stars / Defend, and then go in and win., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier carries a drum. A crow flies above him., Text: Admiration of the boys-- / In this world you'll make a noise; / But it has been said by some, / That your head is like your drum-- / Plenty of sound and plenty of brass, / And carried by a perfect ass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line quotes from Charles Carroll Sawyer's sentimental Civil War ballad, "When this cruel war is over." The valentine shows a Union soldier lighting his cigarette from a bomb as bombs fly in the background behind him. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught." The valentine satirizes the purported bravery of the volunteers by showing them as foolish., Text: "When this cruel war is over," And our noble Volunteers / home return to live in clover / Shan't we have good times, my dears? Honor to the heroes, who by / Their brave deeds us captivate, / Thank of all the kisses ruby / That upon their coming wait!, Variant of Valentine 2.8 and Valentine 2.9., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Sawyer, Charles Carroll, b. 1833. When this cruel war is over.
The Union solider aims a gun towards the viewer. A speech bubble reads "Who goes there?" A yellow snake labeled "copperhead" lays around his feet. Copperhead refers to northern sympathizers with Secession. "Anathema Marantha" is a biblical curse., Text: Of all things whom honorable men despise, / The meanest is the copperhead and traitor, / Whose presence is a libel on our liberties, / And his thoughts a libel on his Creator. / Anathema Marantha! Let him be accursed: / Let him drink of the poison he distils: / Let him be marked of enemies the worst, / That has brought on the Republic all its ills. / The woman would be branded with ever living shame, / Who, for a Valentine, breathed a copperhead's name., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A volunteer Union soldier cowers behind his rifle and a bullet is near his head., Text: Oh, why did you ever enlist-- / Oh, why to the wars did you go? / Your mind must have been in a mist, / For surely the danger you know. / The cannon balls fly through the air, / The bullets go whistling by; / And the enemy don't seem to care / If they hit you or not as they fly. / Then come home to arms of your love, / Before by fright you are hairless; / For believe me, my own dearest love, / The Confederates fire too careless., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier looks into the firing end of a cannon, and a cannonball lies at his feet. Seeking "the bubble reputation at the cannon's mouth" means to search for military glory and is a reference to Shakespeare's "As You Like It." "Hog in armor" is a term for awkward, clumsy people., Text: Seeking, of course, "the bubble reputation / At the cannon's mouth," / To fight the righteous battles of the nation, / You go South. / Now, prithee, don't mistake your piece's muzzle / Madly, for its breech, / If the two ends should ever prove a puzzle, / Ask which is which! / You look at present like a "hog in armor;" / May you "live and learn," / And having done so, I'll be yours, my charmer, / When you return., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Shakespeare, William (1564-1616), As you like it.
The man leans forwards and grins. He wears a blue coat and yellow plaid trousers. His hair and mutton chops are curly. Copperhead refers to northern sympathizers with Secession., Text: When, leaving the ranks of honest men, / 'Mid men of politics to snake it, / 'Twas well you chose a Copperhead, / For fear some loyal man should break it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldiers stands with his chest puffed out and his hand on his hip., Text: Say! Song of Mars, / With lofty figure, / Did you ever pull a trigger? / I know you didn't invent powder, / Although you talk a great deal louder. / Shun men who're really brave-- / You couldn't fight your soul to save; / Go keep your tale of love untold, / For my affection's for the bold., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line is an allusion to "Hamlet." A Union soldier holds up his sword and stands next to a cannon. Another soldier lies on a hill and thumbs his nose. A skull and cross bones flag flies above them., Text: "Treason most foul as in the best it is" / But, who could think of treason worse than this; / From its proud staff to tear our Starey flag, / And in its place to hoist that traitor rag., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616, Hamlet.
The valentine shows a Union captain in uniform. He stands in front of a row of tents, and his sword is in its scabbard., Text: When duty calls, I hope you'll be / Not hid behind some friendly tree / But leading on the gallant line / To win the fight and a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts two soldiers in Union uniforms, one holding a rifle with a bayonet with which he prods the other over a fence., Text: I was tired of the ranks, and promoted I'd be, / I tho't the shoulder straps would look finely on me, / But when I applied, it was only to find, / The promotion before just hurt me behind., Cf. 10.3., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman runs and wears breeches underneath her dress. A man runs away from her., Text: That a woman's rule is ofttimes good, / This, firm experience teaches, / But it really seems to reach extremes, / When she tries to wear the breeches., Cf. Valentine 12.36., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits with her eyes closed and head down. The shape of her clothing resembles a religious cassock, perhaps suggesting celibacy., Text: That you can't get a lover, well I know / To you must be a bitter pill; / That at your feet you never had a Beau, / And what is more, I fear you never will., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in a low-cut gown looks in the mirror. Her cheeks have rouge on them, and she holds a pot. Another woman stands behind her., Text: THE glass grows hateful to your sight, / For it tells you truly you're a perfect fright; / All the arts that ever you can make or try, / Will fail to add lustre to your eye. / In vain you may try with pastes and cream, / To smooth your skin or hide its seams; / Old maid, with all the art of borrowed charms, / You cannot catch a young man in your arms., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman runs and wears breeches underneath her dress. A man runs away from her., Text: That a woman's rule is ofttimes good, / This, firm experience teaches, / But it really seems to reach extremes, / When she tries to wear the breeches., Cf. Valentine 12.37., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a leash around her husband's neck, and he holds a baby. The valentine criticizes advocates of women's rights for degrading men., Text: She who be-littles her husband's name, / Knows not what to woman's grace belongs; / The Rights some silly women claim, / Are nothing less than a husband's wrongs., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier runs from a bullet. He carries an empty sword sheath. He has a long white beard, many wrinkles, and open mouth. The term "Zoo Zoo" refers to the Zouave regiments in the Civil War., Text: Behold your coward self from bullets flying, / No fear that you in battle will be dying; / Your large mouth open, and teeth clattering with fear, / As the spent shots come whistling through the air. / Such cowardice friend Zoo Zoo, is a very sure sign, / That you cannot have me for your own Valentine., "510", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The German American, or Pennsylvanian Deutsch, soldier holds a pot marked "Krout" and wears a Union uniform. His cap is marked "Commissariat," and he has a long white beard., Text: Poor soldiers have mighty few thigns to be merry at, / When fed from the hands of a Dutch commissariat; / Krout for their breakfast, and their dinners, and teas, / And now and then scraps of bad Limburger cheeses. / So go, red-necked Dutchman, you ne'er can be mine, / You never were meant for a sweet Valentine., "505", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union calvalryman rides a donkey. He has a sword and spurs. The valentine suggests that his appearance does not match his abilities., Text: Ha, ha! don't you think you're brave? / No officer e'er looked bolder / But, all who march with you, / Think the asses head should be upon your shoulder., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line quotes from Charles Carroll Sawyer's sentimental Civil War ballad, "When this cruel war is over." The valentine shows a Union soldier lighting his cigarette from a bomb as bombs fly in the background behind him. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: "When this cruel war is over," And our noble Volunteers / home return to live in clover / Shan't we have good times, my dears? Honor to the heroes, who by / Their brave deeds us captivate, / Thank of all the kisses ruby / That upon their coming wait!, Variant of 2.9 and 2.10., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Sawyer, Charles Carroll, b. 1833. When this cruel war is over.
A soldier smokes a pipe. He holds a gun and rucksack. The valentine mocks his appearance and unwarrented vanity. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You don't look handsome in your regimentals, / Although your doubtless think you're very fine. / You'll ne'er belong unto the sentimentals, / And ne'er can hope to be my valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a sword in his hand. His hat is decorated with two figures. Behind him is a dead body with detached legs., Text: O thou, man of fame and slaughter, You cannot have my mother's daughter; / You are the man, I most could bet, That went away from poor Jeanette. / What's the use of that long sword to you? Void of courage to run an enemy through, / Or even a bull-frog to attack a rush, Thou art no soldier, but a man of mush., Cf. Valentine 10.15., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier kneeling next to a cooking pot eats from a bowl., Text: Oh! How I love the volunteer, / Who eats his soup with conscience clear; / Who never runs-- except for meals; / who ne'er the pangs of hunger feels-- /And believes in fighting there's no good, / Unless his belly's full of food. / See him; beside that iron pot; / He longs for me to shar his let, / And I, alas, can not go., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
