A Union calvalryman rides a donkey. He has a sword and spurs. The valentine suggests that his appearance does not match his abilities., Text: Ha, ha! don't you think you're brave? / No officer e'er looked bolder / But, all who march with you, / Think the asses head should be upon your shoulder., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in a gown smiles. The valentine mocks her brazeness and suggests that she unsuccessfully uses it to hide her lack of intelligence and feeling., Text: Your knowing wink and brazen stare, / Are just the signs that do declare, / (Howe'er you think conceal'd by art,) / An empty head and callous heart., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The bar-keeper stands at a bar and pours liquor from one glass into another. Decanters and glasses are on the bar., Text: You dashing, dressy Bar-keerp, for a dandy you would pass, / As with the most exquisite grace you handle well your glass; / But your brains are like your liquors, the more they are display'd / The more they show the frothy stuff of which they are made., Cf. Valentine 11.3., "73", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands with her face turned up. She wears a hat with a hairnet. "Saucy jade" is a derogatory term for spirited women, and the valentine suggests that the recipient is playfully bold to hide her lack of intelligence and education., Text: Oft ignorance hides want of learning and sense, / With a mask and a cloak of bold impudence; / And never more fully has this been essayed, / Than it is in your case, you most saucy jade., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman reads a sign that says " INTELI- / GENCE/ OFFICE." She holds an umbrella and circle of rope. A young man thumbs his nose behind her. The phrase "not to know B from a bull's foot" means to be completely illiterate., Text: Verdant damsel, jolly green! / Never was a simpler seen; / B from Bull's foot scarce you know, / Yet you think to catch a beau., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The saddler sits at his work bench and hammers a nail into a riding saddle. Behind him are stirrups., Text: I've not the pleasure or wish to know / More than I do of my saddle-beau: / A bit of true wisdom heed while young -- / Stir-up your brains and bridle your tongue., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The barkeeper pours liquor from one glass into another as he stands at a bar. The sender rejects the recipient and suggests that he has no money, intellect, or heart., Text: You dashing, dressy Barkeeper, for a dandy you would pass, / As with your most exquisite grace you handle well you glass; / But your brains are like your liquors, the more they are display'd / The more they show the frothy stuff of which your drink are made. / I know you flourish very gay, and talk like men of spunk, / But when you're dress'd to death, I'd like to peep into your trunk, / For it is my opinion, sir, that, if I should you wed, / I'd find your trunk and pockets both as empty as your head!, Cf. Valentine 13.17., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The bride wears a dress with a red bodice and yellow skirt, a white veil, and a pair of earrings. She holds a sheet of paper that says "Marriage certificate." She smiles, and has crossed eyes. The pictures suggests that she has limited intelligence and mocks her pride in her marriage., Text: Now you are wedded! and happy too, / Then let the world deride, / The dirty scamp who would attempt, / To slander, such a bride., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man in profile smiling. His beak-like nose and jacket with tails make him resemble a bird., Text: You don't look so very unruly; / In fact, you're as tame as a goose: / You're all you're cracked up to be, truly, / And your wits are lying 'round loose., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a dress with a high neckline; her corsage and handkerchief suggest that she may be at a social function.. She slouches against a wall between and door and a picture frame, and her nearly closed eyes and open mouth suggest that lack of intelligence accompany her manners and money., Text: Politeness and dress, in this gay world of ours, / Are considered the tests of gentility; / But we commonly find a great lack mind, / Where the're found with so much amiability., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A bricklayer holds a level to a wall of bricks and a trowel in his other hand. "Hod" means a trough used to carry bricks or coal., Text: With plummet and rule, here's a bricklaying fool; / A can's his delight, and a trowel's his tool-- / And just as the plummet consists of hard lead, / Even so are the brains that you have in your head; / Oh Cupid beware, or perchance you grow sick, / To see such a gulpin pile brick upon brick, / Go man of the hod, I prithee go quick, / Your mould is all crooked, your mortar won't stick., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A lamplighter mounts a ladder to light a street lamp. A hand tugs on his shirt, which is protruding from the seat of his pants."To get one's shirt out" means to get angry., Text: Like the Lamp you tend, ‘tis said, / You’re rather LIGHT about the HEAD, / One thing certain is that most / Don’t know which is the greatest Post, / Now don’t be angry that I flout, / For I see your SHIRT IS GETTING OUT., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A machinist wearing an apron stands at his work bench. A variety of tools are visible on his bench and on the wall behind him. The sender suggests the recipient does shoddy work., Text: Folks say, Sir Machinist, who have your course watched, / That no job you e’er tackled came from you unbotched. / If you’re really an expert, a machine I can mention / To which it would pay you to give your attention; / I mean your own head; for, to this I would swear, / Its wheels must be terribly out of repair., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman wearing bloomers rides a bicycle. She has a wide grin and several missing teeth. The valentine mocks her good humor and compares her to monkeys and donkeys and plays on the word "asinine.", Text: Oh, dear, what a sweet little creature! / Who can deny that you shine? / There’s not face in the cage of the monkeys, / At the Zoo, can compare with thine; / And so bright you are! And so witty! / To list’ to your merry “tee-hee,”/ Makes one think of some happy young donkey / Indulging in asinine glee., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man with an oversized bald head smiles broadly. The text indicates that his baldness is an outward sign of his inner deficiencies., Text: You have got a great big head, but it’s only filled with air. / It hasn’t enough of substance to produce a growth of hair. / You’ve got a smile upon your face, but we have heard before, / You get it from a bottle when you sneak behind the door. / You’re only an old milk sop, and of either sense or wit, / No one will e’er accuse you of having the smallest bit., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man has very long mutton chops and a moustache., Text: You think your style is just the thing / To raise a great commotion; / Get the ladies on a string, / And use them to your notion; / But ladies cannot stomach now, / Such senseless-headed noodles, / They all with one accord avow, / They find more sense in poodles., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
