The valentine shows a large-chested man walking in a field. He holds a top hat., Text: You conceited old fogie, with face of Brass, / By nature intended for an ass; / But ape the Biped of two-legged kind, / With stomach, all a bag of wind. / Seek for thy wife in Afies clime, / And be her faithful Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The angry woman beats her philandering lover with a broom as he lies across her lap. A speech bubble by her head reads " HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH THE SERVANT?" as he cries, "Oh! Oh!" The man is contorted and the woman appears larger than him, which makes him look childlike, and her appear domineering., Text: It's evident my angry fair, / Whate'er your wrongs, how much you (bare) bear / Tho' I would rather not be sharing / My lot with on who's so for-bareing: / Such wives as thee who ever's got 'em, / Will find they're very hard at BOTTOM! / So I for my part would decline, / Such a very striking Valentine., Variant of Valentine 1.19, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Affection" burlesques domestic disturbance. The husband and wife stand facing each other; she is armed with a sword, and he holds a riding crop over his head. The room is in disarray, with a chair and a three-legged table overturned. The text and image suggest that marriage ends in conflict, and the sender attempts to dissuade the recipient from it. Also visible in the room are a framed picture, a fireplace with a vase of flowers on the mantle and a kettle on the grate, an alarmed cat, drapery with a tie-back for a multipaned window, and carpeting., Text: O, this is the way 'twill be with us, / When we've been wed a year; / We'll be at it, shovel and tongs, / I promise you, my dear! / Like the poor cat upon the hearth, / We'll both be in hot water; / The hair will fly, the wife will cry,/ the table fall, the baby squall / And the fire get hot and hotter., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits in a tree holding a fishing pole. Men swim in the water in front of her., , Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The cook holds a long-handled frying pan over an oven. She is large and wears an apron., Text: Though in roast, baked, and boiled, you greatly excel, / Add your pies, tarts, and puddings, I greatly admire: / To take you for a wife, you know very well, / Would be "Out of the frying pan into the fire.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands with closed eyes. His nose is a cannon, and he holds a rifle. Signed with a monogram: BB [?]., Text: In battle I'm sure you are brave, / And I know you never would run; / For you're fighting-- the Union to save, / And was born a son of a gun. / Your barrel is rifled, you say, / And will shoot a long distance quite straight; / But I fear at some future day; / 'Twill blow all the brains from your pate. / So I think my preference would be, / Instead of a single bored man; / A splendid back-action revolving nose, / And I'll marry one -- if I can., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman walks in front a much smaller man, presumably her servant, who holds a bundle. "Upper Ten" is a term for the wealthy elite, or "Upper Ten Thousand." The sender mocks the recipient for not marrying., Text: Though dress'd in ribbons, silks, and laces, / And midst the Upper Ten your place is; / You surely should you silly elf, / Find some poor man to share your pelf., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The machinist holds a hammer and pushes against a brace., Text: In the shop there's none so smart as you / At mending a boiler or making a screw. / Where is your means of supporting a wife, / And supplying her wants throughout her life? / Your wages are small, every one knows / The principal part to the port-house goes! / Faint hope to gain a woman's heart, / By one so well known as thou art., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A tailor sews a jacket, and he has shears and his "goose," or iron, near him. Behind him is a sign that reads " 190/ J. Cabbage/ Tailor." "Cabbage" refers to fabric leftover from making a garment., Text: Pray, good Knight of the shears, my good Mister Cabbage, / Do you look for a wife, in spite of the adage, / That it takes nine full tailors to make one good man; / Well, I wish you good luck, catch one if you can., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds up her arms and screams at the sight of a bug dangling in front of her. She wears a fashionable gown with a low-cut and very narrow bodice. The text suggests that the woman is not scared of physical intimacy and marriage., Text: You'll rush with fright from a harmless bug, / Which the wind has near you carried; / But yet you don't fear a good, stout hug, / Nor tremble at getting married., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A seated woman has a padlock through her mouth. The valentine suggests that the recipient's quietness will disappear when she marries. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another thimble cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: A rare and commendable thing / Is well-affected silence, / Among the maids their wiles who bring / Our dulness to beguile hence. / Yet Paddock no control assumes, / (Experience teaches this bird), / When Wedlock or the future looms / And "Yes" has to be whispered., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The angry woman beats her philandering lover with a broom as he lies across her lap. A speech bubble by her head reads " HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH THE SERVANT?" as he cries, "Oh! Oh!" The positioning suggests both that he is a child, and she is domineering. The man is contorted, and the woman appears larger than him., Text: It's evident, my angry fair, / Whate'er your wrongs, how much you (bare) bear, / Tho' I would rather not be sharing / My lot with on who's so for-bareing: / Such wives as thee who ever's got 'em, / Will find they're very hard at BOTTOM! / So I for my part would decline / Such a very striking Valentine., Cf. 1.20., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A baker smokes and kneads dough., Text: Dear doughhead, don't be such a fool, / And think that I would favor show / To such a living half-baked pie, / For if you do your cake's all dough. / You're badly bred, with flowery speech, / You strive to knead a heart to thee; / But be assured that none will wed / With such a dough-nut, sir, as thee., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A large woman in bed holds her arms up and yawns., Text: My pretty maid, to me it seems, / You're always in the land of dreams; / Take my advice and never wed -- / Your mate should be a feather bed., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A bride is depicted as a cat, and the groom as a rat. The bride holds an envelope marked "Mr. & Mrs." Both are dressed formally; he wears a top-hat, and she wears a gown with a hoop skirt and a bonnet. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Pussy, when the rat she catches, / Smooths him down with velvet paw, / Then for change his hide she scratches / With her curved relentless claw. / So it is in wedlock's matches, / Beauty leads us like a straw, / Till she's got us "under hatches" -- / Then look out for Pussy's law!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man is a bird, and a woman is a fish. He opens his beak over her head. The valentine mocks the recipient for trying to marry a younger woman., Text: No fool like an old fool. O! for shame; / Pretending to feel love's hold flame; / The ladies laugh at your ogling eyes, / And shut their ears to your pumped up sighs., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds a cat o' nine tails whip and a pistol. He frowns, has sharp teeth, and facial hair., Text: I ne'er for a husband a tyrant would have, / Because he would treat me just like some old slave; / And if he should try, his persuasions to urge, / I'm sure it would be 'cross my back with a scourge., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man leans back in his chair and puts his feet up on the table. A bag of money sits on the table behind him and his head is covered with slips of paper. On says "Bond" and another "Pacific RR". The valentine suggests not only that he married his wife for her money, but also that the money has not given him class., Text: You married money, then—at least that fact is stated. / Alas! Your suffering wife, her taste was vitiated. / Oh! The poor maids should wed whoever fate doth show them. / They seldom marry equals, and often those below them. / You needn’t put on airs, and show your shapeless feet, / For if you found your level, you’d be sweeping in the street. / We can always tell a man, no matter how he feels, / And if he is a donkey he always shows his heels., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man in ragged clothing walks with an umbrella tucked underneath his arm. A bust of a nude young woman on a pedestal is visible in the background., Text: Your buttonless shirt, and ragged coat sleeves, / Proclaim you to be an old Bach; / Pray hunt up some young maid, I really believe / If you tried, you would soon make a match., Cf. Comic Valentine 7.49, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man stands inside a room with a heart-shaped padlock over the fly of his pants. His wife is peering around the door. The valentine suggests that his wife locks him up to prevent him from seeing other women., Text: Soft headed self loving rake, / This the precaution I would take, / To bind you fast, and keep you true, / If I were wedded unto you. / For if you’d follow every bonnet, / Your TRUNK must have a lock upon it. / So know your fate if you’d be mine, / To padlock’d be, my Valentine., "No. 3", Provenance: Helfand, William H..
The valentine shows an old man wearing sleeping clothes and a headscarf. A bowl marked "gruel" is on the table behind him, and he stands near a pile of bedding. The term "granny" mocks the recipient for being both old and effeminate, and the sender ridicules the recipient for thinking he can find a young wife., Text: Gouty and toothless, one foot in the grave, / You would like a young wife to make her a slave; / If you've luck you may get one, and if so, so be it -- / But for me, my dear granny, I can not see it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands with her eyes half open. The sender mocks the recipient's desire for marriage., Text: It is not good for a man to be alone, / Nor woman either-- so you're always sighing; / So you will strive to be the rib of one / Good man, if you should even die in trying., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman smokes a cigarette and and plays billiards., Text: For a "high old time, " and a jolly spree, / A man might spend an hour with thee; / But he never would choose to make a wife, / Of a woman with such ideas of life., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman bends forward towards a crowd of women, in the "Grecian Bend" created by wearing fashionable restrictive gowns and bustles. Behind her are signs that read " The Original Grecian Bend for State Millener" and "The Pink of Fashion, Mme. Lecreme." The Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869. New York city directories for 1867-72 list Fisher and Denison at the same address, noting that Denison lived in Maryland., Text: You're all aflame with woman's right, / And hope thereby to see strange sights; / No place too bold for such a trump-- / You'd even go so far as mount the stump. / If you thus cast all social laws aside, / You'll never be a happy bride., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
