A woman with the face of an ape hunches forward to use snuff. She has a monkey on her back. The text references the adage that a woman who does not marry leads apes into hell., Text: Snuffy, soiled, a slouchy slattern, / You've become a complete pattern; / Old and ugly, but with care, / And taking apes to ---- you know where., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sleeps with her head cradled on her hand. A shirt rests on her lap. Another woman sews a shirt in the background. The text suggests that she's dreaming of her lover., Text: Gentle shirt maker, who would forsake her? / Still as she sews she must reap; / She dreams of the lover that new shirt will cover, / And marries him in her sleep., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The school mistress holds a book marked "abc a" in front of a group of children. She has pointed features and an enlongated neck. The "Bad One" refers to the devil., Text: Gracious! what your husband would be! / If you only had one!--- / But before that ever could be, / You will see the Bad One! / That you're striking none can doubt, / Not the silliest scholars--- / For in school, when you're about, / Crackee! how they hol-lers!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A tall woman is kissing a short, moustached man. Behind her on a table are a bokk markeds "Hymns" and another marked "Bible". The valentine asserts that this is not the first time the woman has kissed a minister and that when his wife heard about it before, she tore out the woman's hair, which is why she wears a wig. The valentine cautions that if she repeats this behavior, she can expect to lose this wig as well., Text: Don’t look so pious, madam, / We’ve heard of you before, / You kissed the little minister / Behind his study door; / And when his wife heard of it, / The row ensued was big, / And that is how you came to wear / That little curled-up wig. Now pray be careful what you do, / Or you will lose your nice wig too., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
The valentine shows the Devil holding a pitchfork with a woman on the top over a fire. The devil has hairy legs, cloven feet, and four points on his head. The valentine suggests that the "old maid" is damned for failing to marry and procreate., Text: Oh! what a very sorry sight it is, / To see an aged lady still a Miss, / To know that single she must live and work, / And in the end be toasted on a fork., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A wrinkled woman holds a parasol and tilts her head up. The sender criticizes the recipient's fear of marriage and threatens that she will be damned., Text: My wrinkled old maid, who to wed is afraid, / And therefore, unmarried will stick; / At the end of your days if you don't mend your ways, / You're sure to be caught by Old Nick., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears many flowers in her hair and a skirt with furbelows. She rests her chin in her hand. The valentine cautions the recipient against holding sentimental beliefs about marriage, suggesting that she will not receive marriage proposals because she is neither sensible nor wealthy., Text: Waiting for an offer, few indeed the chances; / These are not the times we read of in romances; / Men want wives with good sense, or with flowing coffers, / And are very careful to whom they're making offers., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman sewing a dress. Both the woman's dress and the one she sews have red bodices and yellow skirts, but the one she sews has a lower neckline and shorter sleeves. The sender mocks the recipient for her status as a single woman., Text: My ugly old maid, how sad is your lot, / To work on some fine wedding gown, / And know all the while, live as long as you may, / You'll never have one of your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman walks her small black dog. She wears an ornate gown, a flowered bonnet, and eyeglasses., Text: With the most ugly of all faces, Go on, and mimic all the graces: / How can you think, when in the street, The laughing, giggling men you meet, / That every laugh is but a smile, And that they love you all the while? / Good-bye, old maid-- without a clog, Go through the mud-heaps with your dog; / I don't know which I like the least, You or your dirty little beast., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman walks in front a much smaller man, presumably her servant, who holds a bundle. "Upper Ten" is a term for the wealthy elite, or "Upper Ten Thousand." The sender mocks the recipient for not marrying., Text: Though dress'd in ribbons, silks, and laces, / And midst the Upper Ten your place is; / You surely should you silly elf, / Find some poor man to share your pelf., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a wrinkled woman sitting in front of a mirror. In front of her is a bottled labeled "hair dye." The valentine mocks older single women who dye their hair and portrays them as desperate for matrimony., Text: Now Time has stolen all your charms, / (If any existed not sure am I,) / To win a husband to your arms / Your only resource now to dye., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a large central female figure, the coquette, and two men standing behind her. She smiles and holds her hands out. The valentine condemns female flirtation and suggests that the outcome will not be marriage., Text: Vain, silly coquette, whose only employ / Is fond loving hearts to offend; / Beware, or ere long the enjoyment will cloy, / And you'll die an old maid in the end., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits with her hands folded and her head down., Text: Oh! I can't think of you, my dear little darling, / You're all the time fawning, and fretting, and snarling; / So take my advice, now, and don't be forgetting, / Youl'll not get a husband, my charmer, by fretting., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows the head and shoulders of a woman in a pink, green, and yellow gown., Text: My widow you're like an old shoe, / That in its short life has ill fared; / And like it now when left all alone, / To be useful you must be re-paired., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
An older woman sits reading to three small children. The text suggests that she vents her frustrations at being unmarried on the children., Text: Deserted old damsel, so prim and demure, / You have lost all your hopes for a husband at last; / When you refused, and you now must endure, / Your old maidish thoughts and regrets for the past. / Sour tempered old dame whose only delight, / Is to tease the poor children who are put in your care; / On them vent your spleen if they are not quite right, / And to vex and annoy them as much as you dare., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman with glasses and a bun is sewing bonnets. The valentine suggests she is unattractive to suitors and will be an old maid, so she should focus on her millinery., Text: Miss bonnet-builder, such a guy I never saw before, / Your bonny hair is a knob behind, your nose a knob before, / That your head’s a bonnet-block that of it maybe said, / Who would ever have a Valentine that is a blockhead, / So drop the thoughts of Valentines and attends to bonnet shapes, / For you are built for an old maid, in future to lead apes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
An older woman leans on a counter. A dog sits on its hind legs on the other dise of the counter. A sign says "All kinds of fancy goods". The valentine suggests that her ill-temper makes he unfit to serve customers or attract a husband., Text: You ill-tempered maid, old age is creeping o’er you, / And you ill-treat the folks, who come to buy from you / Your restless tongue’s abuse, is sharper than a burr, / And you’re only fit to wait, upon some stupid cur. / Nobody will buy from you, and he who’s your boss, / Should send you off at once, and save a further loss., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman with glasses and a bun is sewing bonnets. The valentine suggests she is unattractive to suitors and will be an old maid, so she should focus on her millinery., Text: Miss bonnet-builder, such a guy I never saw before, / Your bonny hair is a knob behind, your nose a knob before, / That your head’s a bonnet-block that of it maybe said, / Who would ever have a Valentine that is a blockhead, / So drop the thoughts of Valentines and attends to bonnet shapes, / For you are built for an old maid, in future to lead apes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wearing a cloak and bonnet holds at lamppost for support. Her mouth is open and she appears drunk. A sign on the wall behind her says "Gin." The Valentine faults her for her drunkenness., Text: Hic, -- hic, --hic, --drink is your soul's delight, / And your only Valentine, / Go, you drunken wretch, steep your brain in Alcohol, / You never shall be mine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in mourning clothings hold a handkerchief to her eyes and smiles. She gestures to a sign on the wall behind her thats reads "A Bargain Second Hand to be Disposed of". Another sign on the wall reads "To Let". The valentine suggests she is looking for a new husband immediately after being widowed., Provenance: Helfand, William H.
A woman sits with her eyes closed and head down. The shape of her clothing resembles a religious cassock, perhaps suggesting celibacy., Text: That you can't get a lover, well I know / To you must be a bitter pill; / That at your feet you never had a Beau, / And what is more, I fear you never will., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in a low-cut gown looks in the mirror. Her cheeks have rouge on them, and she holds a pot. Another woman stands behind her., Text: THE glass grows hateful to your sight, / For it tells you truly you're a perfect fright; / All the arts that ever you can make or try, / Will fail to add lustre to your eye. / In vain you may try with pastes and cream, / To smooth your skin or hide its seams; / Old maid, with all the art of borrowed charms, / You cannot catch a young man in your arms., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in an ornate gown walks her small black dog., Text: You are my darling; don't I know / Why you are ogling ev'ry beau; / But all in vain, for who would be / Led like a puppy tied to thee., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A frowning woman wears a yellow gown and holds a small parasol., Text: Full many a fair flower, not half so fair as you, / Has been plucked in early springtime, when fresh with morning's dew, / And you alone, neglected, have been carelessly passed by, / And now, when old and faded, you are left to droop and die., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The maiden aunt has masculine features and wears a bonnet and eyeglasses. A cat sits next to her, and a barrel labeled "vinegar" and a jar labeled "pickles" are nearby., Text: You dear old soul! Every day you grow old, / And your face gives comfort to the vinegar jug; / Your virtues are kept like pickles, I'm told. / Bottled up in a bosm nobody can hug; / If in glory hereafter your face becomes divine, / What a miracle must be wrought, O Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The old maid wears a yellow and red ball gown with lace gloves. She holds up her skirt to dance. She has numerous wrinkles., Text: Of all the olds maids that ever I knew, / There never was one half so jolly as you; / A mistake there has been, I am much afraid, / You ne'er were intended to be an old maid., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman frowns and has a thin, wrinkled face. She wears a gown with a full skirt with furbelows and a very thin waistline. She sits on a sofa and rest her face on her hand; the object near her face is possibly a handkerchief. The valentine suggests that the recipient expected matrimony, but was disappointed., Text: Counting chickens ere their hatching / You found fatal to your matching; / Disappointed, now you linger, / Scored by Time's unsparing finger., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
