The "booby" looks down and holds his head. He has a round stomach, bald patches on his head, and long feet., Text: Search through the world above, below, / None half so senseless, well we know, / Can e'er be found, take every pains-- / For all things else have got some brains., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The nincompoop smiles, holds a ball, and plays a whistle. His eyes are crossed, his knees turn in, and his ears are elfin., Text: Now, really, my kind sir, d'ye think I'd stoop / To have a man who's such a nincompoop? / 'Twere better far if single I'd remain, / Than wed a man who had so little brain., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The machinist has a red, porcine nose. He hammers at a piece of metal to make a cog., Text: I'd go without beaus all the days of my life, / And die an old maid, before I'd be the wife / Of such an old hammer as you, you old fool; / You're a piece of pig-iron-- a miserable tool; / For your head's like an anvil with about as much brains, / And you don't know enough to come in when it rains., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The bow-legged ostler stands in a stable in front of a donkey in a stall. He holds a girth and wears riding breeches and a vest., Text: Chuckle head, stupid, / Just like your brother there; / Faith, it's a puzzle, / To tell one from t'other there., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A young man sits in a chair., Text: You sleepy headed numskull, go home and take a snooze, / When you go to see the girls, they think you’re full of booze. / As vain as any weather-cock, you know not how to talk, / Nor can you take a slight hint, when you’re told it’s time to walk. / You ought to be a baker’s boy, for now wherever you go, / The girls all laugh at such a calf, and say your head is dough., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
An elaborately dressed man leans back in a chair and smokes a cigar. The word 'empty" is written over his head. His clothes and the position of his hand suggest he is a dandy. The sender mocks the recipient's concentration on outward appearances., Text: The reason why you don't get on in life-- / Is the Sending of the Valentine to you a hollow mockery?, Cf. Valentine 14.41., Provenance: Helfand. William H..
A machinist wearing an apron stands at his work bench. A variety of tools are visible on his bench and on the wall behind him. The sender suggests the recipient does shoddy work., Text: Folks say, Sir Machinist, who have your course watched, / That no job you e’er tackled came from you unbotched. / If you’re really an expert, a machine I can mention / To which it would pay you to give your attention; / I mean your own head; for, to this I would swear, / Its wheels must be terribly out of repair., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A coachman in an elaborate uniform sits on the box of a carriage and holds a whip. "Spooney" means foolish or sentimental., Text: Old Coachee, mounted on your box, / You look as stupid as an ox; / The coach of Wedlock, do not strive, / With me old boy you ne’er shall drive / So all your views at once resign, / You spooney looking Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man has a stringed instrument for a body. The valentine compares him to a broken fiddle., Text: Your soul is in a fiddle-case, / Yourself a half-cracked fiddle; / To find your beauty, sense, or wit, / Would be a monstrous riddle., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
