A Union soldier runs from a bullet. He carries an empty sword sheath. He has a long white beard, many wrinkles, and open mouth. The term "Zoo Zoo" refers to the Zouave regiments in the Civil War., Text: Behold your coward self from bullets flying, / No fear that you in battle will be dying; / Your large mouth open, and teeth clattering with fear, / As the spent shots come whistling through the air. / Such cowardice friend Zoo Zoo, is a very sure sign, / That you cannot have me for your own Valentine., "510", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The German American, or Pennsylvanian Deutsch, soldier holds a pot marked "Krout" and wears a Union uniform. His cap is marked "Commissariat," and he has a long white beard., Text: Poor soldiers have mighty few thigns to be merry at, / When fed from the hands of a Dutch commissariat; / Krout for their breakfast, and their dinners, and teas, / And now and then scraps of bad Limburger cheeses. / So go, red-necked Dutchman, you ne'er can be mine, / You never were meant for a sweet Valentine., "505", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union calvalryman rides a donkey. He has a sword and spurs. The valentine suggests that his appearance does not match his abilities., Text: Ha, ha! don't you think you're brave? / No officer e'er looked bolder / But, all who march with you, / Think the asses head should be upon your shoulder., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line quotes from Charles Carroll Sawyer's sentimental Civil War ballad, "When this cruel war is over." The valentine shows a Union soldier lighting his cigarette from a bomb as bombs fly in the background behind him. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: "When this cruel war is over," And our noble Volunteers / home return to live in clover / Shan't we have good times, my dears? Honor to the heroes, who by / Their brave deeds us captivate, / Thank of all the kisses ruby / That upon their coming wait!, Variant of 2.9 and 2.10., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Sawyer, Charles Carroll, b. 1833. When this cruel war is over.
A man wears a jacket with "USA" printed on it. He stands in front of a gravestone. Another man sits at a table with a glass and decanter on it., Text: That Northern man that so much honor lacks / That he would stab his brethren in their backs, / Is worse by far than he who boldly fights / Against his country, e'en for fancied rights., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears rustic attire and a wide-brimmed hat. He holds a long walking stick and stands next to a fence. The figure's posture, expression, and facial features are androgynous, and the valentine associates being "lovesick" with effeminancy., Text: Cease your sighing day and night, / Moping like a lovesick dove, / Go 'list, and serve the Right, / And prove yourself worthy of my love., Signed: Green., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Green.
A Union military drummer carries a rucksack and a large snare drum on his side. The valentine criticizes the soldier's bad behavior before the war., Text: Folks do say, my little drummer, / That once you were a perfect bummer; / Made your living gathering junk, / And spent your money getting drunk. / If this be so, young friend of mine, / You'll never make a Valentine., "509", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier smokes a pipe. He holds a gun and rucksack. The valentine mocks his appearance and unwarrented vanity. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You don't look handsome in your regimentals, / Although your doubtless think you're very fine. / You'll ne'er belong unto the sentimentals, / And ne'er can hope to be my valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier kneeling next to a cooking pot eats from a bowl., Text: Oh! How I love the volunteer, / Who eats his soup with conscience clear; / Who never runs-- except for meals; / who ne'er the pangs of hunger feels-- /And believes in fighting there's no good, / Unless his belly's full of food. / See him; beside that iron pot; / He longs for me to shar his let, / And I, alas, can not go., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union officer stands at a bar and holds a large tankard of beer. The valentine criticizes military recruiters who get men drunk so that they will enlist., Text: You're not a fascinating creature, / Either in manners, form or feature, / Neither your own mug, quaint and queer, / Nor that o'erflowing mug of beer, / Would tempt me, sir, were I a gent, / To join your rowdy regiment. / Don't try with drink to catch recruits, / Our army needs good men, not brutes-- / Men who love order and the laws, / Whose hearts are in their country's cause, / Whose nerves are strong, whose heads are clear, / Whose courage is not born of beer., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier reads a copy of "Hardee's Tactics," a manual popular during the Civil War. His uniform is patched, and he has sideburns and facial hair stubble. "Burnside" refers to Union General Ambrose Burnside, whose style of facial hair came to be known as sideburns., Text: Be dad, and I'm after an officer's place, / And I think I am just the bold boy, / That can show old Burnside the way to advance, / And give the whole country much joy., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Burnside, Ambrose Everett, 1824-1881., Provenance: Hardee, William Joseph, 1815-1873. Rifle and light infantry tactics
The trooper [i.e., cavalry soldier] kneels before a young woman who is crying. He wears a blue Union uniform, and his hat and gloves lie on the ground before him. Sitting on his spurs, the trooper appears pained. The text and image suggest that the trooper has no interest in the woman's feelings, and is concerned only with his immediate physical discomfort., Text: Ah! what is the matter, my trooper so gay, / While to this young lass you are kneeling? / Your head, it is soft-- as for heart you have none, / Your butt alone seems to have feeling., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Confederate soldier kneels before a Union soldier and begs for mercy by saying "Qua-rrter." Two swords lie near him. The "neck-tie made of hemp" means a rope for hanging and suggests that recipient deserves death instead of a sentimental token., Text: To trample on "our dear Old Flag", / You rashly did attempt; / The Valentine most met for you, / Is a Neck-tie made of Hemp., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands behind a tree while other soldiers fight in the background. The valentine mocks the cowardice of soldiers who buy their commissions., Text: Charge boys, charge, while I stand behind a tree; / The fighting is for you, and it's left for me to see. / I suppose you will ask me how I got my position, / I hauled out my money and paid for my commission., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a sword in his hand. His hat is decorated with two figures. Behind him is a dead body with detached legs., Text: O thou, man of fame and slaughter, / You cannot have my mother's daughter; / You are the man, I most could bet, / That went away from poor Jeanette. / What's the use of that long sword to you? / Void of courage to run an enemy through, / Or even a bull-frog to attack a rush, / Thou art no soldier, but a man of mush., Cf. Valentine 10.14., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier stands at a bar drinking a tankard of beer. A sign behind him reads, "Wanted Recruits for the Army." The valentine mocks the recruiting officer for using alcohol to recruit unfit men., Text: Gentility, neatness and courage / In a warrior I hold to be dear / But uniform don't make the soldier / Nor a coward get courage from Beer., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The man wears a blue Union coat with tails and a top hat that he tips forward; his clothing matches Union uniforms in color but not style. He holds a large rifle with a bayonet. The sender suggests that the recipient uses false stories of military glory to attract a wife., Text: Ladies, I learned to bow this way / A dodging rebel swells; / I am a soldier brave and gay, / A favorite with the belles, / If you're for Union-- 'to a man.' / Why, we'll enlist, as soon as we can., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier plays cards with another man. The soldier holds up a bandaged finger, and behind him is a bar with a sign that reads "Lager." The text suggests that the soldier's injury is minor and he's using it as an excuse to avoid fighting., Text: Soldier, O Soldier! what brought you home so soon? / Can you spend your time not better than in a gambling saloon? / To Skedaddle for the wound that on your finger you've got, / Is the excuse of a coward, and you may go to pot.. / For sooner than be the Valentine of such a cowardly elf, / I'd go and face the enemy, were I sure to be shot myself., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands near a doorway and observes his wife changing his child's diaper. The valentine suggests that the realities of domestic life are shocking after military service., Text: Your time is up and you have come, / With blast of bugle -- roll of drum, / What meets your gaze? your tidy wife, / And the stern realities of life., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Confederate soldier runs away from bullets and cannonballs. He has a fearful expression. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You doubtless think that prudence is a virtue, / And therefore dangerous favors you decline. / Run swiftly when you fear that aught will hurt you. / But never hope to be my Valentine., "12", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A large Union dragoon rides on a small horse. "Old Dobbin" was an affectionate name for horses. The valentine mocks his poor horsemanship., Text: Men don't ride, my dear friend, to the red scene of slaughter, / Just as if they were taking old Dobbin to water; / You seat in the saddle is loose and ungainly, / Turn your knees in, and don't to your stirrups trust mainly; / Like an ox-goad don't carry that good piece of steel, stir, / Nor back into the next horse's chest when you wheel sir! / I know from the country you're fresh, but with training / There will soon be no trace of the rustic remaining; / If your heart's in the cause, all the rest will come easy, / But in hopes you'll improve. / If you do, I incline, sir, / To have you -- next year-- for my true Valentine, sir., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a Union general standing by a table. Casting a glance over his shoulder, he writes "Despatch [i.e. dispatch] No. 10,000" on a piece of paper. The sender criticizes the recipient's competency as a military leader., Text: Oh high and mighty general, I don't know where your match is. / Especially as regards the manufacture of dispatches; / In every one's opinion, you would make a first rate clerk / Who would have to do much thinking, and but very little work. / You had better take a friend's advice, resign your situation, / Or your general imbelicity will bring general indignation., "527", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line quotes from Charles Carroll Sawyer's Civil War ballad, "When this cruel war is over." The valentine shows a Union soldier lighting his cigarette from a bomb as bombs fly in the background behind him. The piece has an embossed border. The valentine satirizes the purported bravery of the volunteers by showing them as foolish., Text: "When this cruel war is over," And our noble Volunteers / home return to live in clover / Shan't we have good times, my dears? Honor to the heroes, who by / Their brave deeds us captivate, / Thank of all the kisses ruby / That upon their coming wait!, Variant of Valentine 2.8 and Valentine 2.10., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A simian-faced Union soldier rides on a horse., Text: To Mars, the soldier's god of war, / You may perform your duty, / But you too great a blockhead are, / For Venus, queen of beauty., "462", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man and a woman sit at a table together, and her arm is around his shoulder. Both hold drinks, and her skirt billows to reveal her legs. A street sign points left and reads "Free Country." The valentine criticizes the recipient for pretending to be a soldier in order to pimp., Text: 'Tis such as you, that every day, / We meet in uniform quite gay, / Who boldly claim an honest mission, / But have no officer's commission, / Recruiting soon a goodly number, / You sell them, like the thief his plunder, / And spend your gold in drunken raids, / In beer saloons, with baser maids., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A cavalryman in a hat and uniform rides a thin, large-headed horse. He has a sword in a scabbard, but it is upside down and far away from his body., Text: When mounted astride of your Pegasus, / No doubt that you can fight like blazes; / Do but your duty and don't repine, / "Charge," you shall be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Zouave Union soldier holds out two pistols and has a sword on his back. A cannonball is between his legs, and bullet is near his forehead., Text: Your tales fiery Zou-zou must surely amuse us / Picking up lighted shells to spit on their fuses / Catching balls in your hands and returning them home / I certainly own are marvelously some., Cf. Valentine 11.48., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The soldier stands with his hand on his chin. His chest is puffed up, and his jacket forms a small, bird-like tail. He carries a sword., Text: Let others court the phantom-- Glory / Ambitious of historic story; / You seek not fields of strife and blood, / Your feats are for the body's good. / The sword is but the scourge of men, / And not so mighty as the Pen; / Sooner than fight on plain that's murkey, / You'd make a charge upon a Turkey., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"That human face divine" refers to Milton's "Paradise Lost." The title refers to the Second Battle of Bull Run, which occurred August 28 and 30, 1862.The valentine shows a Union soldier running from cannon balls. He wears a blue coat and red trousers and cap. He carries a sack on his back., Text: His eye-balls glare--- / Oh! what a stare / Is on that human face divine; / He runs! he's running back to me-- / Oh! Hurry up! my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Milton, John, 1608-1674. Paradise lost.
A Union soldier stands in front of a bar and spills his drink onto a waiter's tray. The soldier is thin, carries a sword, and has a large head, and the other figures are much smaller., Text: You may swagger and blow, but people all know, / That you're filled up with less war than poor brandy, / that you never would fight in a bar-room or field, / But brandy could swallow quite handy. / And there's many a door that has a long score, / Chalked down to this bar-room commander, / Who never has chink -- but is ready to drink, / With each scaly looking bystander., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier with his nose in the air smokes a cigar and holds a square monocle to his eye. Two smaller soldier figures stand next to him; one is a skeleton. "Puppy" is slang for "dandy.", Text: Peace, proud puppy! would-be soldier / Can I e'er forget that we met? / Go, poor swab, go-- consult the glass, / And there you'll see a soldier ass., "93", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a Union soldier passed out on the ground with a gun and a bottle in front of him. He has white hair and noticeable warts. "Zoo-Zoo" refers to the Zouave regiments in the Civil War., Text: Dead drunk, and sleeping on the ground, / Thus, Zoo-Zoo, daily you are found; / You would your country sell or buy, / For just one horn of strong old rye. / Go hang yourself upon yon tree, / You're not the Valentine for me., "522", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The thin secessionist wears a large hat and has two pistols and a large knife stuck in his belt. He has an arrow with a skull and crossbones label in his forehead. The text suggests that the Civil War appears to be ending or has recently ended., Text: With sallow visage, gaunt and grim, / And legs-- like TREASON'S chances-- slim, / You wander round as might a ghost / From the foul region of the lost! / Or SATAN'S self, whose pride God quelled, / When he, like you, 'gainst RIGHT rebelled! / You mourn perchance, the tale of dread / Whose opening scene was Hilton Head, / And groan, that on Secessia's shore / The stars of Freedom blaze once more. / Think you a Northern girl would mate / With such a godless reprobate!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands with closed eyes. His nose is a cannon, and he holds a rifle. Signed with a monogram: BB [?]., Text: In battle I'm sure you are brave, / And I know you never would run; / For you're fighting-- the Union to save, / And was born a son of a gun. / Your barrel is rifled, you say, / And will shoot a long distance quite straight; / But I fear at some future day; / 'Twill blow all the brains from your pate. / So I think my preference would be, / Instead of a single bored man; / A splendid back-action revolving nose, / And I'll marry one -- if I can., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier rests on crutches, has his left arm in a sling, and is missing his right hand and left leg. His rucksack is on the crutches. Chickahominy is a Virginia river near where the Battle of Gaines' Mill took place. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: Come up to the bar, old boy-- / Come up to the bar and drink: / Did you leave your leg and arms / On Chickahominy's brink? / There's lots of your sort around-- / Young heroes in a war grown old-- / And out on the niggardly hound / Who'd leave them "out in the cold.", Variant of Valentine 12.29 and Valentine 12.30., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union recruit carries a musket, rucksack, canteen, powder horn, and bayonet. He appears too small to carry them all., Text: "On to Richmond!" now's the call: / Rally, rally, great and small: / Oh! by golly, how they'll scoot, / When they see you, raw recruit., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a Union soldier standing near a cannon and a pile of cannonballs. He has white hair and moustache., Text: Oh gunner bold and gunner wise, / With reddish nose and glassy eyes, / Although you can adjust your gun, / You can as well turn around and run. / I would as leave on bullets dine, / As have you for my Valentine., "511", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The secessionist holds a paper marked "Jeff Davis/ Richmond/ Plans VA." in one hand, and holds out his other hand to receive paper currency from the man standing next to him. Both wear civilian clothing. In the background, a man in a uniform observes them, suggesting that the military is aware of the recipient's traitorous actions., Text: You are the man who chuckles when the news / Comes o'er the wires, and tells of sad disaster: / Pirates on sea succeeding--- burning ships and crews, / Rebels on land marauding, thicker, aye, and faster, / You are the two-faced villian, though not very bold, / Who would barter your country for might or for gold., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two Zouave Union soldiers run among rifles, pistols, cannons, and cannonballs, one of which is marked rum., Text: Zu-Zu, you made a splendid run, / From Bull-Run fight, to Washington. / By Bully Runners e'er so fleet; / Your feats of legs such wonders/ raised, / That every one has stood amazed. / So, Coward Recreant, Renegade, / Your Valentine I'll not be made., Cf. Valentine 11.49 and Valentine 12.1., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier cocks his head. He has long mutton chops and carries a sword., Text: Wherefore with hat cocked on one side defiantly, / Smile so complacent, and swaggering stride, / Passing civilians with scornfulness giantly, / Haunt you the streets in your hairy-faced pride? / Doubtless you think there's a wonderful charm in / Your sword and your spurs and your jaunty chapeau, / But not to kill ladies our heroes are arming, / "Eyes right!" my dear fellow, and charge on the foe., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a soldier spearing a cat with a bayonet. Another cat stands on the doorframe., Text: Oh! what a brave heroic man!! indeed it is pity / No other foe is near to charge, but a ferocious kitty! / Your patriotism you should curb, don't let your fury loose, / Perchance, before the battle's over, you'll meet a poor old goose. / You're very brave in times of peace, with bayonet and gun, / But should you see the foe in front, good gracious, how you'd run., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union private holds a rifle with a bayonet., Text: As you pace your lone rounds in the wilds of "Secessia" / My dear little heart forever will bless you / And when the war's over if you so incline / You may take me and make me your own Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man leans on a crunch and a walking stick. He wears a hat that says "D.B. Exempt." D.B. stands for "dead beat," a slang term for men who faked injuries or illness to avoid duty., Text: How suddenly, dear sir, you stopped your talk of war and glory, / When you thought a draft was to take place. But it's the same old story; / A dog that's always barking, they say will never bite, / So with one who talks of fighting, he's the last one to go fight. / There's a very apt old saying, and 'twill well apply to you, / That a man can't be a patriot, and be a coward too., "528", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier rides a small horse and holds out his sword. He has white mutton chops and wrinkles. The text suggests that although he can conduct himself in business ("exact a charge"), he is a poor horseman., Text: I see your feet are mighty large, / Your nose is somewhat larger; / And though you can exact a charge / You cannot mind a charger. / Your happy Valentine I ne'er can be, / So from my presence you will please to flee., "512", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union solider holds a rifle with a bayonet. He has a porcine nose., Text: Mr. Rifleman, but I would be a flat, / If you think that with you I would wed: / Cheeks put out your eyes -- nose turn'd to the skies-- / Like a turnip, my dear, is your head. / One like you is enough for a bed, / So with you I'll never wed., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The doctor holds a cane in one hand and an umbrella under his other arm. Dangling from his waist is a syringe and a bottle sticks out of his back pocket. He stands before two tombstones, and a skeleton holding a pill bottle dances next to him. Calling him "old Lotion" could refer to the cleansing before medical procedures or to drinking alcoholic beverages. The doctor's cane resembles an enormous pill bottle, and his umbrella resembles an enormous syringe., Text: I very much mistrust, old Lotion, / You're in league with traitor men; / The reason why I've got the notion, / Is -- you more Patriots kill than them., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier's head is shaped like a bomb, and his mouth is a smoking fuse. He stands next to a cannon. The title references the fairytale Jack and the beanstalk. The valentine mocks the soldier for his unappealing bad temper., Text: Who'd marry a man with a head like a bomb, / And a mouth with a smoking fusee? / What woman with him her life would trust, / For his head might at any moment burst, / And then, where would she be?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The deserter kneels, with a dog in front of him and another dog behind him urinating on him. He holds a tub over his head to protect himself from the poker and the iron which his wife holds., Text: You left the Camp of war and strife, / Expecting quiet with your wife, / But you're assailed, behind, before, / You had better leave for war once more., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The drum major wears a large hat and holds a batton. "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat"] was a term for soldiers who shirked their duties., Text: Go it, Drum Major, now's your chance, / High in the air make your baton dance; / Friend of the ladies, let me kiss you, / If you should die, oh how I'll miss you. / My eyes with tears would ne'er stop running -- / You old D.B., I'm only funning., "516", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a long sword and draws it out of its scabbard. The sword is taller than the soldier., Text: So you want to get on McLellan's staff; / The though is enough to make any one laugh-- / Why, can't you see, you diminutive elf, / That your sword is almost as big as yourself? / Though you never will use it, / You should not abuse it, / And bang it about as you do; / For a sword of that size, / A man of your size, / From its scabbard never yet drew., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
