A Union military drummer carries a rucksack and a large snare drum on his side. The valentine criticizes the soldier's bad behavior before the war., Text: Folks do say, my little drummer, / That once you were a perfect bummer; / Made your living gathering junk, / And spent your money getting drunk. / If this be so, young friend of mine, / You'll never make a Valentine., "509", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union officer stands at a bar and holds a large tankard of beer. The valentine criticizes military recruiters who get men drunk so that they will enlist., Text: You're not a fascinating creature, / Either in manners, form or feature, / Neither your own mug, quaint and queer, / Nor that o'erflowing mug of beer, / Would tempt me, sir, were I a gent, / To join your rowdy regiment. / Don't try with drink to catch recruits, / Our army needs good men, not brutes-- / Men who love order and the laws, / Whose hearts are in their country's cause, / Whose nerves are strong, whose heads are clear, / Whose courage is not born of beer., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier reads a copy of "Hardee's Tactics," a manual popular during the Civil War. His uniform is patched, and he has sideburns and facial hair stubble. "Burnside" refers to Union General Ambrose Burnside, whose style of facial hair came to be known as sideburns., Text: Be dad, and I'm after an officer's place, / And I think I am just the bold boy, / That can show old Burnside the way to advance, / And give the whole country much joy., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Burnside, Ambrose Everett, 1824-1881., Provenance: Hardee, William Joseph, 1815-1873. Rifle and light infantry tactics
A soldier stands at a bar drinking a tankard of beer. A sign behind him reads, "Wanted Recruits for the Army." The valentine mocks the recruiting officer for using alcohol to recruit unfit men., Text: Gentility, neatness and courage / In a warrior I hold to be dear / But uniform don't make the soldier / Nor a coward get courage from Beer., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier plays cards with another man. The soldier holds up a bandaged finger, and behind him is a bar with a sign that reads "Lager." The text suggests that the soldier's injury is minor and he's using it as an excuse to avoid fighting., Text: Soldier, O Soldier! what brought you home so soon? / Can you spend your time not better than in a gambling saloon? / To Skedaddle for the wound that on your finger you've got, / Is the excuse of a coward, and you may go to pot.. / For sooner than be the Valentine of such a cowardly elf, / I'd go and face the enemy, were I sure to be shot myself., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands near a doorway and observes his wife changing his child's diaper. The valentine suggests that the realities of domestic life are shocking after military service., Text: Your time is up and you have come, / With blast of bugle -- roll of drum, / What meets your gaze? your tidy wife, / And the stern realities of life., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A large Union dragoon rides on a small horse. "Old Dobbin" was an affectionate name for horses. The valentine mocks his poor horsemanship., Text: Men don't ride, my dear friend, to the red scene of slaughter, / Just as if they were taking old Dobbin to water; / You seat in the saddle is loose and ungainly, / Turn your knees in, and don't to your stirrups trust mainly; / Like an ox-goad don't carry that good piece of steel, stir, / Nor back into the next horse's chest when you wheel sir! / I know from the country you're fresh, but with training / There will soon be no trace of the rustic remaining; / If your heart's in the cause, all the rest will come easy, / But in hopes you'll improve. / If you do, I incline, sir, / To have you -- next year-- for my true Valentine, sir., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A simian-faced Union soldier rides on a horse., Text: To Mars, the soldier's god of war, / You may perform your duty, / But you too great a blockhead are, / For Venus, queen of beauty., "462", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier rests on crutches, has his left arm in a sling, and is missing his right hand and left leg. His rucksack is on the crutches. Chickahominy is a Virginia river near where the Battle of Gaines' Mill took place. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: Come up to the bar, old boy-- / Come up to the bar and drink: / Did you leave your leg and arms / On Chickahominy's brink? / There's lots of your sort around-- / Young heroes in a war grown old-- / And out on the niggardly hound / Who'd leave them "out in the cold.", Variant of Valentine 12.29 and Valentine 12.30., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man leans on a crunch and a walking stick. He wears a hat that says "D.B. Exempt." D.B. stands for "dead beat," a slang term for men who faked injuries or illness to avoid duty., Text: How suddenly, dear sir, you stopped your talk of war and glory, / When you thought a draft was to take place. But it's the same old story; / A dog that's always barking, they say will never bite, / So with one who talks of fighting, he's the last one to go fight. / There's a very apt old saying, and 'twill well apply to you, / That a man can't be a patriot, and be a coward too., "528", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The doctor holds a cane in one hand and an umbrella under his other arm. Dangling from his waist is a syringe and a bottle sticks out of his back pocket. He stands before two tombstones, and a skeleton holding a pill bottle dances next to him. Calling him "old Lotion" could refer to the cleansing before medical procedures or to drinking alcoholic beverages. The doctor's cane resembles an enormous pill bottle, and his umbrella resembles an enormous syringe., Text: I very much mistrust, old Lotion, / You're in league with traitor men; / The reason why I've got the notion, / Is -- you more Patriots kill than them., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier's head is shaped like a bomb, and his mouth is a smoking fuse. He stands next to a cannon. The title references the fairytale Jack and the beanstalk. The valentine mocks the soldier for his unappealing bad temper., Text: Who'd marry a man with a head like a bomb, / And a mouth with a smoking fusee? / What woman with him her life would trust, / For his head might at any moment burst, / And then, where would she be?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a long sword and draws it out of its scabbard. The sword is taller than the soldier., Text: So you want to get on McLellan's staff; / The though is enough to make any one laugh-- / Why, can't you see, you diminutive elf, / That your sword is almost as big as yourself? / Though you never will use it, / You should not abuse it, / And bang it about as you do; / For a sword of that size, / A man of your size, / From its scabbard never yet drew., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits and bounces a baby on his foot. The sender criticizes the recipient for not fighting in the Civil War and implies that his wife will cheat on him. The verse has the same meter and rhyme scheme as the nursery rhyme "Rock-a-bye baby.", Text: Rock-a-horse baby, and don't make a noise, / Your daddy belongs to the stay-at-home boys; / Kid gloves on his fingers, new boots o'er his toes, / He has fine music wherever he goes. / So rock-a-horse, baby, your mother may roam, / But you'll find that your daddy is always at home., "525", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man ice skates. He has a monocle around his neck and holds a walking stick, suggesting that he is a dandy., Text: You lightly glide in sportive mood, / And to the backward outer-edge; / While flowing now a sea of blood, / To keep a nation's sacred pledge. / Squirm on, poor fool! knock-knees! turn out, / And while distorted shapes you twine; / Hear loud the jeering chorus shout-- / A coward finds no Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a Union soldier with a long moustache. He wears glasses and holds a pipe that extends to the floor. His chest is puffed up, and his legs are thin. The valentine satirizes his lack of bravery, childishness, and excessive stylishness. "Bully Russell" refers to the journalist William Howard Russell, the correspondent for the London Times., Text: You went to war to see the fun, / Now what the d---l made you run; / You ran so fast from all the bustle / You were only beaten by bully Russell., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The back of a woman's skirt is lifted to reveal her crinoline and her legs. A Union soldier bends down to look, unaware that a dog is sniffing his rear., Text: You were sent as a scout to try to discover, / If the enemy's troops were crossing the river, / But your eyes are engaged with the girl on the fence, / While the dog does the duty of reckon-i-scents., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier lies asleep with his arm around a barrel of lager and a rifle, or "yager," resting on him. The "picket guard" means guard duty for the regiment, and the sender criticizes the recipient for neglecting his military duty., Text: Asleep on your post! Mister Sentry, O fie! / What, ho! sir, wake up! rise and shoulder your yager, / Before thus laid low I supposed you got high / On repeated libations of brain-muddling lager. / Be stirring, be stirring, the guard on their round / Will soon -- as in duty bound -- visit the spot, sir, / And should you asleep by your comrades be found, / They'd report you, and then-- why, of course, you'd be shot, sir!, Cf. Valentine 8.25., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a rifle with a bayonet while embracing an African-American woman. His actions cause the woman to spill the liquid in the bottle she carries on a platter. Her dress is turned up to reveal her crinoline and legs. Behind them, an African American man holds his fist up., Text: You nasty, Black Republican, / To hug the sooty African, / How sweet to you her stench must seem, / When the day Star reigns reigns surpreme; -- / That she's your equal in your creed, / To Niggerdom then quickly speed, / For such a filthy kin to swine / Shall never be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A large soldier wears a large plumed hat and a blue jacket decorated with flowers and a sash. He carries a sword., Text: What man is he that loveth not renown; / Out on him for a booby or a clown! / Fortune and women love the soldier brave, / But love not him who'd be a willing slave. / For me thou art the man brave soldier mine, / And I accept thee for my Valentine., "104", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier rests on crutches, has his left arm in a sling, and is missing his right hand and left leg. His rucksack is on the crutches. Chickahominy is a Virginia river near where the Battle of Gaines' Mill took place. The valentine has an embossed border., Text: Come up to the bar, old boy-- / Come up to the bar and drink: / Did you leave your leg and arms / On Chickahominy's brink? / There's lots of your sort around-- / Young heroes in a war grown old-- / And out on the niggardly hound / Who'd leave them "out in the cold.", Variant of Valentine 12.30 and Valentine 12.31., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a pickaxe and wears a helmet. The valentine mocks his occupation as a miner before the war, and the sender rejects the recipient because of his social status., Text: You belong to the Sappers and Miners, 'tis said, / And you work in the trenches with pickaxe and spade; / An old spade and pitchfork you wielded at home, / And with ash-cart and blind horse the city did roam; / On 'taters and cabbage you daily did dine, / And you'll die in despair if you want to be mine., "517", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier puts snuff in his nose and leans his rifle against his arm. Dead soldiers lie around him, and cannonballs are in the air and on the ground., Text: To make folks think you're bold and brave, / You swear your country you will save, / And fiercely charge upon her foes, / But first you'll stop to charge your nose; -- / Like the dog that lost the rabbit. / When taken short, -- as was his habit; / This application suits me fine, / That I can't be your Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The soldier stands in front of a cannon and wears a gray Confederate uniform. Vanity and inaction effeminize him. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory for 1863., Text: As you stand there so quietly, in repose, / No doubt you think that you are very fine. / You'd rather slaughter ladies' hearts than foes. / I'd hate to love so vain a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier rests on crutches, has his left arm in a sling, and is missing his right hand and left leg. His rucksack is on the crutches. Chickahominy is a Virginia river near where the Battle of Gaines' Mill took place. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Come up to the bar, old boy-- / Come up to the bar and drink: / Did you leave your leg and arms / On Chickahominy's brink? / There's lots of your sort around-- / Young heroes in a war grown old-- / And out on the niggardly hound / Who'd leave them "out in the cold.", Variant of Valentine 12.29 and Valentine 12.31., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union recruit stands with his musket over his shoulder. His jacket is too large for him and makes him look childish., Text: A raw recruit my taste don't suit, / Althought he should make me a queen-- / And I see from your face, / And your unnatural grace, / That you are too awfully green., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"The Army Contractor" shows a bearded man in a fur hat and coat, with his hands in his pocket. He stands near a chest with drawers. The valentine criticizes contractors for their dishonest practices. Camphene is a mixture of oils used for lamp fuel and explosives., Text: For whiskyy [i.e. whiskey] ou [i.e. you] sell bad camphene toddy,/ And clothe poor soldiers with flimsy shoddy;/ Its not after glory you pant,/ Its only after dollars and cents you want., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The cavalry dandy has his face turned upward. His facial hair consists of sideburns and a moustache. He wears large star-shaped spurs and carries a large sword., Text: When mounded [sic] on your blooded steed, / You look both bold and fine indeed; / But when your foremost in the fray, / Be sure you do not run away., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in a green and red uniform looks into a tube, possibly a gun or cannon. He holds a monocle over his eye, carries a walking stick, and has long hair, suggesting that he is a dandy. The sender criticizes the recipient for posing as a soldier and suggests that he is effeminate., Text: Your swashing gate and vacant stare, / Pleased fools in times of peace, / But since afraid to go to war, / Put off the duds and cease., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier runs from a bullet. He carries an empty sword sheath. He has a long white beard, many wrinkles, and open mouth. The term "Zoo Zoo" refers to the Zouave regiments in the Civil War., Text: Behold your coward self from bullets flying, / No fear that you in battle will be dying; / Your large mouth open, and teeth clattering with fear, / As the spent shots come whistling through the air. / Such cowardice friend Zoo Zoo, is a very sure sign, / That you cannot have me for your own Valentine., "510", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The German American, or Pennsylvanian Deutsch, soldier holds a pot marked "Krout" and wears a Union uniform. His cap is marked "Commissariat," and he has a long white beard., Text: Poor soldiers have mighty few thigns to be merry at, / When fed from the hands of a Dutch commissariat; / Krout for their breakfast, and their dinners, and teas, / And now and then scraps of bad Limburger cheeses. / So go, red-necked Dutchman, you ne'er can be mine, / You never were meant for a sweet Valentine., "505", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union calvalryman rides a donkey. He has a sword and spurs. The valentine suggests that his appearance does not match his abilities., Text: Ha, ha! don't you think you're brave? / No officer e'er looked bolder / But, all who march with you, / Think the asses head should be upon your shoulder., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line quotes from Charles Carroll Sawyer's sentimental Civil War ballad, "When this cruel war is over." The valentine shows a Union soldier lighting his cigarette from a bomb as bombs fly in the background behind him. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: "When this cruel war is over," And our noble Volunteers / home return to live in clover / Shan't we have good times, my dears? Honor to the heroes, who by / Their brave deeds us captivate, / Thank of all the kisses ruby / That upon their coming wait!, Variant of 2.9 and 2.10., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Sawyer, Charles Carroll, b. 1833. When this cruel war is over.
A soldier smokes a pipe. He holds a gun and rucksack. The valentine mocks his appearance and unwarrented vanity. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You don't look handsome in your regimentals, / Although your doubtless think you're very fine. / You'll ne'er belong unto the sentimentals, / And ne'er can hope to be my valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier kneeling next to a cooking pot eats from a bowl., Text: Oh! How I love the volunteer, / Who eats his soup with conscience clear; / Who never runs-- except for meals; / who ne'er the pangs of hunger feels-- /And believes in fighting there's no good, / Unless his belly's full of food. / See him; beside that iron pot; / He longs for me to shar his let, / And I, alas, can not go., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The trooper [i.e., cavalry soldier] kneels before a young woman who is crying. He wears a blue Union uniform, and his hat and gloves lie on the ground before him. Sitting on his spurs, the trooper appears pained. The text and image suggest that the trooper has no interest in the woman's feelings, and is concerned only with his immediate physical discomfort., Text: Ah! what is the matter, my trooper so gay, / While to this young lass you are kneeling? / Your head, it is soft-- as for heart you have none, / Your butt alone seems to have feeling., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Confederate soldier kneels before a Union soldier and begs for mercy by saying "Qua-rrter." Two swords lie near him. The "neck-tie made of hemp" means a rope for hanging and suggests that recipient deserves death instead of a sentimental token., Text: To trample on "our dear Old Flag", / You rashly did attempt; / The Valentine most met for you, / Is a Neck-tie made of Hemp., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands behind a tree while other soldiers fight in the background. The valentine mocks the cowardice of soldiers who buy their commissions., Text: Charge boys, charge, while I stand behind a tree; / The fighting is for you, and it's left for me to see. / I suppose you will ask me how I got my position, / I hauled out my money and paid for my commission., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a sword in his hand. His hat is decorated with two figures. Behind him is a dead body with detached legs., Text: O thou, man of fame and slaughter, / You cannot have my mother's daughter; / You are the man, I most could bet, / That went away from poor Jeanette. / What's the use of that long sword to you? / Void of courage to run an enemy through, / Or even a bull-frog to attack a rush, / Thou art no soldier, but a man of mush., Cf. Valentine 10.14., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The man wears a blue Union coat with tails and a top hat that he tips forward; his clothing matches Union uniforms in color but not style. He holds a large rifle with a bayonet. The sender suggests that the recipient uses false stories of military glory to attract a wife., Text: Ladies, I learned to bow this way / A dodging rebel swells; / I am a soldier brave and gay, / A favorite with the belles, / If you're for Union-- 'to a man.' / Why, we'll enlist, as soon as we can., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Confederate soldier runs away from bullets and cannonballs. He has a fearful expression. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You doubtless think that prudence is a virtue, / And therefore dangerous favors you decline. / Run swiftly when you fear that aught will hurt you. / But never hope to be my Valentine., "12", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line quotes from Charles Carroll Sawyer's Civil War ballad, "When this cruel war is over." The valentine shows a Union soldier lighting his cigarette from a bomb as bombs fly in the background behind him. The piece has an embossed border. The valentine satirizes the purported bravery of the volunteers by showing them as foolish., Text: "When this cruel war is over," And our noble Volunteers / home return to live in clover / Shan't we have good times, my dears? Honor to the heroes, who by / Their brave deeds us captivate, / Thank of all the kisses ruby / That upon their coming wait!, Variant of Valentine 2.8 and Valentine 2.10., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man and a woman sit at a table together, and her arm is around his shoulder. Both hold drinks, and her skirt billows to reveal her legs. A street sign points left and reads "Free Country." The valentine criticizes the recipient for pretending to be a soldier in order to pimp., Text: 'Tis such as you, that every day, / We meet in uniform quite gay, / Who boldly claim an honest mission, / But have no officer's commission, / Recruiting soon a goodly number, / You sell them, like the thief his plunder, / And spend your gold in drunken raids, / In beer saloons, with baser maids., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A cavalryman in a hat and uniform rides a thin, large-headed horse. He has a sword in a scabbard, but it is upside down and far away from his body., Text: When mounted astride of your Pegasus, / No doubt that you can fight like blazes; / Do but your duty and don't repine, / "Charge," you shall be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"That human face divine" refers to Milton's "Paradise Lost." The title refers to the Second Battle of Bull Run, which occurred August 28 and 30, 1862.The valentine shows a Union soldier running from cannon balls. He wears a blue coat and red trousers and cap. He carries a sack on his back., Text: His eye-balls glare--- / Oh! what a stare / Is on that human face divine; / He runs! he's running back to me-- / Oh! Hurry up! my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Milton, John, 1608-1674. Paradise lost.
A Union soldier stands in front of a bar and spills his drink onto a waiter's tray. The soldier is thin, carries a sword, and has a large head, and the other figures are much smaller., Text: You may swagger and blow, but people all know, / That you're filled up with less war than poor brandy, / that you never would fight in a bar-room or field, / But brandy could swallow quite handy. / And there's many a door that has a long score, / Chalked down to this bar-room commander, / Who never has chink -- but is ready to drink, / With each scaly looking bystander., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier with his nose in the air smokes a cigar and holds a square monocle to his eye. Two smaller soldier figures stand next to him; one is a skeleton. "Puppy" is slang for "dandy.", Text: Peace, proud puppy! would-be soldier / Can I e'er forget that we met? / Go, poor swab, go-- consult the glass, / And there you'll see a soldier ass., "93", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a Union soldier passed out on the ground with a gun and a bottle in front of him. He has white hair and noticeable warts. "Zoo-Zoo" refers to the Zouave regiments in the Civil War., Text: Dead drunk, and sleeping on the ground, / Thus, Zoo-Zoo, daily you are found; / You would your country sell or buy, / For just one horn of strong old rye. / Go hang yourself upon yon tree, / You're not the Valentine for me., "522", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands with closed eyes. His nose is a cannon, and he holds a rifle. Signed with a monogram: BB [?]., Text: In battle I'm sure you are brave, / And I know you never would run; / For you're fighting-- the Union to save, / And was born a son of a gun. / Your barrel is rifled, you say, / And will shoot a long distance quite straight; / But I fear at some future day; / 'Twill blow all the brains from your pate. / So I think my preference would be, / Instead of a single bored man; / A splendid back-action revolving nose, / And I'll marry one -- if I can., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union recruit carries a musket, rucksack, canteen, powder horn, and bayonet. He appears too small to carry them all., Text: "On to Richmond!" now's the call: / Rally, rally, great and small: / Oh! by golly, how they'll scoot, / When they see you, raw recruit., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
