A sailor rows past a large ship with many male and female civilians on deck. "Tar" is slang for a sailor., Text: Row away, Red, White, and Blue, / Put the vile seceshers through; / Then row back quick, my gallant tar, / To her who waits thee from afar., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a gun and sword. Hemp rope was used for hanging, and the sender rejects the recipient by suggesting that he hang himself., Text: You're a gay old Colonel, that's beyond a doubt, / See front your forehead how your eyes bulge out; / With sword and pistol tight within your hand, / You think, no doubt, you look supremely grand; / Around your neck go place thick hempen twine, / And never hope to be my Valentine., "503", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds his sword out of its scabbard, and a cannonball smokes near his feet. "Bobadil" means braggart and refers to Captain Bobadil in Jonson's "Everyman in his humor.", Text: All hail thou most terrific-looking fellow, / If hair and bravery now were always twins, / Or those fought hardest who the loudest bellow, / Thou wert the pluckiest of paladins. / But 'tis not so; vainglorious boast and bluster / Are oft assumed to hide a trembling heart, / The quiet men, where serried squadrons muster, / Enact, mid tired and blood, the manliest part., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Jonson, Ben, 1572-1637. Everyman in his humour.
A Union soldier plays a trumpet., Text: When from that horn sweet music flows, / With full melodious swell; / Then, Trumpeter, upon thy form, / My eyes with rapture dwell. / Thy cheeks so round, thy form so fat, / Thy grand majestic mien; / So fill my heart with rapture, that-- / I'm happy as a queen., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds his hand up and raises his pinky finger. In the background, two women watch him., Text: You are a gallant soldier, / With a splendid figure for parade; / The country is safe in your keeping, / So long as you fight in the shade. / I fancy mysefl your beloved! / Wouldn't you have a jolly good time? / I'd make you stand guard over a cradle, / And do double duty to Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier runs admidst cannon balls. His cap has come off his head., Text: In every army, great and small, / There is a set of patent blowers, / Who of the work make out to shirk all, / And of their valiant deeds are crowers. / But let a battle once commence, / Away they travel for some tree or fence; / You find their brains too soon are addled, / And you've but to see that they've skedaddled., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "shoddy" military contractor is handed a $50 bill and stands in front of a barrell marked "STINKING PORK FOR U.S. ARMY from SHODDY." He says "I CAN'T SEE THAT THE PORK STINKS A BIT," and there a sign behind him that reads "SHODDY INSPECTOR OFFICE.", Text: You can't see it? No wonder you can't, / With a fifty dollar green back in your eye; / The soldier may starve-- the sailor may want, / What cares Shoddy if even they die? / He's a curse to his kind -- his country's worst bane, / Deserving the noose on the hangman's line; / But, alas, you don't get it, and to publish your shame, / Is left alone for this poor Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier runs. His jacket is red, but his belt buckle, marked "US," suggests that he is a Union soldier., Text: The man who would desert his country in her need, / Is so much lost to honor, honesty, and shame, / That after death his corpse should ravens feed -- / That all the world should e'en forget his name., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The soldier carries a rifle with a bayonet and wears a Union uniform with a blue coat with tails and epaulets, top hat, and scarf. Behind him, a small dog barks., Text: Bravest of soldiers in fine weather, / A monkey with a cap and feather, / You'd hardly dare to shoot a hog, / And scamper from a little dog., "114", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union foot soldier has very large feet., Text: When in action you are brought, / And the use of bayonets taught; / Then your feet sir, you will prize, / On account of their great size. / For with a pair of feet so large, / You could stand sir, any charge; / Except, perhaps, a cobbler's bill, / And then you'd run with a good will., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier wears baggy, short red pants, a cap with a red crest, and box-like shoes. The valentine mocks the Chasseur's drinking, flirting, and cowardice., Text: Farewell, my bold Chasseur-- / In every lass sir, / A flame, I've no doubt you inspire; / But when in the line / Of the skirmishers fine, / At the show of a flame you'll expire-- / Then take off each trunk. / And make you a bunk, / To lay your head in / When with glory you're drunk., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union sentinel holds a gun and wears a uniform that is too big for his frame, making him appear childish. The sender mocks the recipient and suggests that he will never marry., Ill. signed: B., Text: Say! Lonely Sentinel; when on thy beat, / Do'st ever long the one thou lovest to meet? / Do'st ever wish when though demand'st the pass, / That she that gave the countersign might be thy lass? / Oh! vain is thy hope, and grey will be thy hair, / Before she gives the watchword to "Who goes there?", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A baby with a scrunched face and large ears is held aloft, by an unseen woman with lace cuffs on her sleeves. The valentine states that the soldier will be greeted by the child he fathered as he was going off to war., Text: Here's the boy, my soldier brave, / You left behind you in the dark; / When you victoriously return, / He'll chirp your "welcome" like a lark., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two Zouave Union soldiers run among rifles, pistols, cannons, and cannonballs, one of which is marked rum., Text: Zu-Zu, you made a splendid run, / From Bull-Run fight, to Washington. / By Bully Runners e'er so fleet; / Your feats of legs such wonders/ raised, / That every one has stood amazed. / So, Coward Recreant, Renegade, / Your Valentine I'll not be made., Cf. Valentine 11.50 and Valentine 12.1., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier wearing a rucksack holds a large musket and smokes while he adjusts his glove., Text: Head up, eyes right, every inch a soldier, / Pity that your uniform did not make you bolder; / In the rank of soldier boys, then you'd proudly shine / Terror of your Secesh foes, lord of this heart of mine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union military drummer carries a rucksack and a large snare drum on his side. The valentine criticizes the soldier's bad behavior before the war., Text: Folks do say, my little drummer, / That once you were a perfect bummer; / Made your living gathering junk, / And spent your money getting drunk. / If this be so, young friend of mine, / You'll never make a Valentine., "509", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union officer stands at a bar and holds a large tankard of beer. The valentine criticizes military recruiters who get men drunk so that they will enlist., Text: You're not a fascinating creature, / Either in manners, form or feature, / Neither your own mug, quaint and queer, / Nor that o'erflowing mug of beer, / Would tempt me, sir, were I a gent, / To join your rowdy regiment. / Don't try with drink to catch recruits, / Our army needs good men, not brutes-- / Men who love order and the laws, / Whose hearts are in their country's cause, / Whose nerves are strong, whose heads are clear, / Whose courage is not born of beer., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier reads a copy of "Hardee's Tactics," a manual popular during the Civil War. His uniform is patched, and he has sideburns and facial hair stubble. "Burnside" refers to Union General Ambrose Burnside, whose style of facial hair came to be known as sideburns., Text: Be dad, and I'm after an officer's place, / And I think I am just the bold boy, / That can show old Burnside the way to advance, / And give the whole country much joy., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Burnside, Ambrose Everett, 1824-1881., Provenance: Hardee, William Joseph, 1815-1873. Rifle and light infantry tactics
A soldier stands at a bar drinking a tankard of beer. A sign behind him reads, "Wanted Recruits for the Army." The valentine mocks the recruiting officer for using alcohol to recruit unfit men., Text: Gentility, neatness and courage / In a warrior I hold to be dear / But uniform don't make the soldier / Nor a coward get courage from Beer., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier plays cards with another man. The soldier holds up a bandaged finger, and behind him is a bar with a sign that reads "Lager." The text suggests that the soldier's injury is minor and he's using it as an excuse to avoid fighting., Text: Soldier, O Soldier! what brought you home so soon? / Can you spend your time not better than in a gambling saloon? / To Skedaddle for the wound that on your finger you've got, / Is the excuse of a coward, and you may go to pot.. / For sooner than be the Valentine of such a cowardly elf, / I'd go and face the enemy, were I sure to be shot myself., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands near a doorway and observes his wife changing his child's diaper. The valentine suggests that the realities of domestic life are shocking after military service., Text: Your time is up and you have come, / With blast of bugle -- roll of drum, / What meets your gaze? your tidy wife, / And the stern realities of life., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A large Union dragoon rides on a small horse. "Old Dobbin" was an affectionate name for horses. The valentine mocks his poor horsemanship., Text: Men don't ride, my dear friend, to the red scene of slaughter, / Just as if they were taking old Dobbin to water; / You seat in the saddle is loose and ungainly, / Turn your knees in, and don't to your stirrups trust mainly; / Like an ox-goad don't carry that good piece of steel, stir, / Nor back into the next horse's chest when you wheel sir! / I know from the country you're fresh, but with training / There will soon be no trace of the rustic remaining; / If your heart's in the cause, all the rest will come easy, / But in hopes you'll improve. / If you do, I incline, sir, / To have you -- next year-- for my true Valentine, sir., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A simian-faced Union soldier rides on a horse., Text: To Mars, the soldier's god of war, / You may perform your duty, / But you too great a blockhead are, / For Venus, queen of beauty., "462", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier wears a Zouave uniform and holds two pistols out. He has a pistol tucked into his belt, and his sword scabbard hangs away from his body. A smoking cannonball lies between his feet and a bullet is near his head., Text: Hero! how my fond heart doats / On your trowser petticoats; / On your leggins, tight and trim; / On your cap without a brim; / On your lip of hair prolific, -- / Arab-Yankee-- you're terrific! / There's a wild light in your eye--/ Is it valor? Is it rye? / O! beware of whisky-skin, / Brains go out as that goes in. / Sober keep, and by the Nine! / You shall be my Valentine., Cf. Valentine 13.45., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier rests on crutches, has his left arm in a sling, and is missing his right hand and left leg. His rucksack is on the crutches. Chickahominy is a Virginia river near where the Battle of Gaines' Mill took place. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: Come up to the bar, old boy-- / Come up to the bar and drink: / Did you leave your leg and arms / On Chickahominy's brink? / There's lots of your sort around-- / Young heroes in a war grown old-- / And out on the niggardly hound / Who'd leave them "out in the cold.", Variant of Valentine 12.29 and Valentine 12.30., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man leans on a crunch and a walking stick. He wears a hat that says "D.B. Exempt." D.B. stands for "dead beat," a slang term for men who faked injuries or illness to avoid duty., Text: How suddenly, dear sir, you stopped your talk of war and glory, / When you thought a draft was to take place. But it's the same old story; / A dog that's always barking, they say will never bite, / So with one who talks of fighting, he's the last one to go fight. / There's a very apt old saying, and 'twill well apply to you, / That a man can't be a patriot, and be a coward too., "528", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The doctor holds a cane in one hand and an umbrella under his other arm. Dangling from his waist is a syringe and a bottle sticks out of his back pocket. He stands before two tombstones, and a skeleton holding a pill bottle dances next to him. Calling him "old Lotion" could refer to the cleansing before medical procedures or to drinking alcoholic beverages. The doctor's cane resembles an enormous pill bottle, and his umbrella resembles an enormous syringe., Text: I very much mistrust, old Lotion, / You're in league with traitor men; / The reason why I've got the notion, / Is -- you more Patriots kill than them., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier's head is shaped like a bomb, and his mouth is a smoking fuse. He stands next to a cannon. The title references the fairytale Jack and the beanstalk. The valentine mocks the soldier for his unappealing bad temper., Text: Who'd marry a man with a head like a bomb, / And a mouth with a smoking fusee? / What woman with him her life would trust, / For his head might at any moment burst, / And then, where would she be?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a long sword and draws it out of its scabbard. The sword is taller than the soldier., Text: So you want to get on McLellan's staff; / The though is enough to make any one laugh-- / Why, can't you see, you diminutive elf, / That your sword is almost as big as yourself? / Though you never will use it, / You should not abuse it, / And bang it about as you do; / For a sword of that size, / A man of your size, / From its scabbard never yet drew., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits and bounces a baby on his foot. The sender criticizes the recipient for not fighting in the Civil War and implies that his wife will cheat on him. The verse has the same meter and rhyme scheme as the nursery rhyme "Rock-a-bye baby.", Text: Rock-a-horse baby, and don't make a noise, / Your daddy belongs to the stay-at-home boys; / Kid gloves on his fingers, new boots o'er his toes, / He has fine music wherever he goes. / So rock-a-horse, baby, your mother may roam, / But you'll find that your daddy is always at home., "525", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man ice skates. He has a monocle around his neck and holds a walking stick, suggesting that he is a dandy., Text: You lightly glide in sportive mood, / And to the backward outer-edge; / While flowing now a sea of blood, / To keep a nation's sacred pledge. / Squirm on, poor fool! knock-knees! turn out, / And while distorted shapes you twine; / Hear loud the jeering chorus shout-- / A coward finds no Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a Union soldier with a long moustache. He wears glasses and holds a pipe that extends to the floor. His chest is puffed up, and his legs are thin. The valentine satirizes his lack of bravery, childishness, and excessive stylishness. "Bully Russell" refers to the journalist William Howard Russell, the correspondent for the London Times., Text: You went to war to see the fun, / Now what the d---l made you run; / You ran so fast from all the bustle / You were only beaten by bully Russell., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The back of a woman's skirt is lifted to reveal her crinoline and her legs. A Union soldier bends down to look, unaware that a dog is sniffing his rear., Text: You were sent as a scout to try to discover, / If the enemy's troops were crossing the river, / But your eyes are engaged with the girl on the fence, / While the dog does the duty of reckon-i-scents., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier lies asleep with his arm around a barrel of lager and a rifle, or "yager," resting on him. The "picket guard" means guard duty for the regiment, and the sender criticizes the recipient for neglecting his military duty., Text: Asleep on your post! Mister Sentry, O fie! / What, ho! sir, wake up! rise and shoulder your yager, / Before thus laid low I supposed you got high / On repeated libations of brain-muddling lager. / Be stirring, be stirring, the guard on their round / Will soon -- as in duty bound -- visit the spot, sir, / And should you asleep by your comrades be found, / They'd report you, and then-- why, of course, you'd be shot, sir!, Cf. Valentine 8.25., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The chaplain stands between two kneeling soldiers and takes currency from their rucksacks., Text: A pretty man of God are you! / You claim to have an eye of faith, / But have a stronger eye for booty, / When soldiers all are at their prayers, / You go on Pick-et duty., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a rifle with a bayonet while embracing an African-American woman. His actions cause the woman to spill the liquid in the bottle she carries on a platter. Her dress is turned up to reveal her crinoline and legs. Behind them, an African American man holds his fist up., Text: You nasty, Black Republican, / To hug the sooty African, / How sweet to you her stench must seem, / When the day Star reigns reigns surpreme; -- / That she's your equal in your creed, / To Niggerdom then quickly speed, / For such a filthy kin to swine / Shall never be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A large soldier wears a large plumed hat and a blue jacket decorated with flowers and a sash. He carries a sword., Text: What man is he that loveth not renown; / Out on him for a booby or a clown! / Fortune and women love the soldier brave, / But love not him who'd be a willing slave. / For me thou art the man brave soldier mine, / And I accept thee for my Valentine., "104", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier rests on crutches, has his left arm in a sling, and is missing his right hand and left leg. His rucksack is on the crutches. Chickahominy is a Virginia river near where the Battle of Gaines' Mill took place. The valentine has an embossed border., Text: Come up to the bar, old boy-- / Come up to the bar and drink: / Did you leave your leg and arms / On Chickahominy's brink? / There's lots of your sort around-- / Young heroes in a war grown old-- / And out on the niggardly hound / Who'd leave them "out in the cold.", Variant of Valentine 12.30 and Valentine 12.31., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier holds a pickaxe and wears a helmet. The valentine mocks his occupation as a miner before the war, and the sender rejects the recipient because of his social status., Text: You belong to the Sappers and Miners, 'tis said, / And you work in the trenches with pickaxe and spade; / An old spade and pitchfork you wielded at home, / And with ash-cart and blind horse the city did roam; / On 'taters and cabbage you daily did dine, / And you'll die in despair if you want to be mine., "517", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier puts snuff in his nose and leans his rifle against his arm. Dead soldiers lie around him, and cannonballs are in the air and on the ground., Text: To make folks think you're bold and brave, / You swear your country you will save, / And fiercely charge upon her foes, / But first you'll stop to charge your nose; -- / Like the dog that lost the rabbit. / When taken short, -- as was his habit; / This application suits me fine, / That I can't be your Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The soldier stands in front of a cannon and wears a gray Confederate uniform. Vanity and inaction effeminize him. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory for 1863., Text: As you stand there so quietly, in repose, / No doubt you think that you are very fine. / You'd rather slaughter ladies' hearts than foes. / I'd hate to love so vain a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
