An older woman sits reading to three small children. The text suggests that she vents her frustrations at being unmarried on the children., Text: Deserted old damsel, so prim and demure, / You have lost all your hopes for a husband at last; / When you refused, and you now must endure, / Your old maidish thoughts and regrets for the past. / Sour tempered old dame whose only delight, / Is to tease the poor children who are put in your care; / On them vent your spleen if they are not quite right, / And to vex and annoy them as much as you dare., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
An older woman leans on a counter. A dog sits on its hind legs on the other dise of the counter. A sign says "All kinds of fancy goods". The valentine suggests that her ill-temper makes he unfit to serve customers or attract a husband., Text: You ill-tempered maid, old age is creeping o’er you, / And you ill-treat the folks, who come to buy from you / Your restless tongue’s abuse, is sharper than a burr, / And you’re only fit to wait, upon some stupid cur. / Nobody will buy from you, and he who’s your boss, / Should send you off at once, and save a further loss., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A chambermaid holds a candle and shows a room to a man. The text suggests that she is promiscuous., Text: A chambermaid! Pray what’s the use, / Of such a giggling, silly goose? / Whose chief employment, so ‘tis said, / Is showing folks the way to bed!, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A female domestic servant peers over a wall and gossips with another servant. A magpie in the background emphasizes the irritating nature of the servants' chatter and suggests that, like the magpie, the servants may also be thieves. Spleen refers to anger or a foul mood. Hecate is a Greek goddess associated with magic and crossroads and is often depicted as a hag or crone., Text: A chattering magpie is a hateful creature, / With spleen and malice marked in every feature, / Forever gossiping with thy hateful crew, / I’d sooner wed old Hecate than love you., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A thin older woman with a large nose sits on a bench with a small child in front of her. She holds a comb and appears to be checking the child for lice., Text: There are some people I know well, / Who read of novels night and day, / While some do love to promenade, / And others love to dress quite gay; / But you, my many-wrinkled dame, / Have no desire to be a belle, / And though you sometimes crack a joke, / You crack some other things as well. / It is a blessed thing, I swear, / To have a comb-ly matron’s care., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
An older woman sits at a table, eating a large piece of meat. A monkey is sitting on the back of her chair., Text: Dear mam you’re ugly cross and old, / An errant vixen and a scold, / So that betwixt us I’m afraid: / You’re doomed to live and die a maid, / For since your age is sixty-nine, / You cannot be my Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman sits at a table with cards. A cat sits on the stool beside her. "Huffle" can mean long-winded talking. The cat's words suggest that the woman is wasting her time by trying to read her future in the cards., Text: “Hearts! At once, I plainly see, / It is hearts-ease meant for me; / Shall I gain my wish at last, / Ere my summer sun is past?” / Thus the dark one then replied, / Hovering by the lady’s side; / “Deal, my good lady, as you will, / You shuffle! And will huffle still.”, "182", Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman smiles at a boy playing with a hoop and stick. The valentine chides her for flirting inappropriately at and advanced age., Text: I do not wish your feelings, ma’ma to hurt, / But for one old and ugly still to flirt, / And leer and giggle on each man you meet, / To say the least is not at all discreet., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman holds a hat and stands in front of a display of fabric. The valentine suggests that the recipient is promiscuous with her customers., Text: Read this, my good woman and don’t think it hard, / When you let out your ribbons and love by the yard; / I’m fond of a roller, sometimes it is true, / But I don’t care a pin for a roller from you. / And in temper and passion we plainly may tell, / If we grant you a yard, you’ll be taking an ell. / So adieu, Mrs. Huckaback, here I must stop, / For I love not a beauty who smells of the shop., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman rides a bicycle. The Sun is visible in the background, wearing a wide smile. The valentine suggests the woman look ridiculous riding the bicycle., Text: The Sun in his daily journey / Must gaze on queer sights many, / But I’m sure that on your Cycle / Are quite as queer as any. / Absurd enough you were always / To take away folk’s breath, / But now there’s really danger / You’ll make them laugh to death., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
Two tailor's dummies have bustles, wigs and other accessories attached to them. The valentine suggests that these accessories will not help the recipient find love., Text: ‘Tis all in vain your simpering looks, / You never can incline, / With all your bustles, stays, and curls, / To find a Valentine., Text: Lloyd, 17, Bellebury Square, Fleet street, 415, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman with a large nose and oversized tongue gossips with a neighbor over a wall., Text: You ugly, low, and artful wretch, / With lies upon your tongue, / I wish that you and all your tribe / Were in a kennel flung., Lloyd, 12, Salisbury –square, Fleet-street. 268, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman wearing a apron carries a full tray. "I declare I am quite the Slave of the Ring," reads a speech bubble., Text: You think no doubt you’re quite the style / When you put on that silly smile, / But no one likes such affectation / From one in a servant’s situation / You give yourself too many airs / your proper place should be downstairs / To skim the pot and make the gravy / For after all you’re but a slavey. / To your tea and coffee I don’t incline / So goodbye my waiting Valentine., 145, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman is looking in a mirror. The reflection shows a cat's face. "What a reflexion!" appears in a speech balloon above her head., Text: With sweet talking, smiling, singing, / A Bean to catch yourself prepare; / Yet no such fool was ever living, / Who cannot see that you ensnare., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A maid polishes a pair of boots. The valentine plays on the words work and play to suggest that the maid is promiscuous., Text: Dirty, ugly, vulgar, pert, / So begrimed with grease and dirt, / I vow that I should be afraid of, / Seeing what that maid is made of, / Tho’ call’d maid of all work! They / Say you’re often made of play, / And when with sweethearts you’ve your swing / The maid is quite a different thing!, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman's figure has two heads. One is smiling and says "My love to you, dear ," while the other has a forked tongue and says "Bad luck to the wretch." The text translates roughly to: "Cheers, Sir. Oh, how polite, to indulge us with the privilege of your presence, if I see the man I'd like to stick a pincer in his guts." The valentine suggests the recipient's words mask malicious intentions., Translation: "Cheers, Sir. Oh, how polite, to indulge us with the privilege of your presence, if I see the man I'd like to stick a pincer in his guts.", Text: Wohl bekomm’s mein Herr / Ach, wie artig, uns die Ehre / Ihres Besuches zu gönnen, / Wenn ich den Menschen sehe / Möcht icht eine glückende Zange / In seine Eingeweiden umkehren., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A maid wearing an apron is holding a bed-warmer. The word "empty" is written over her head. The valentine suggests that her lack of brains means she is condemned to a life a menial tasks., Text: The reason why you don’t get on in life-- / Is the Sending of the Valentine to you a hollow mockery?, Cf. Valentine 14.42., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman with glasses and a bun is sewing bonnets. The valentine suggests she is unattractive to suitors and will be an old maid, so she should focus on her millinery., Text: Miss bonnet-builder, such a guy I never saw before, / Your bonny hair is a knob behind, your nose a knob before, / That your head’s a bonnet-block that of it maybe said, / Who would ever have a Valentine that is a blockhead, / So drop the thoughts of Valentines and attends to bonnet shapes, / For you are built for an old maid, in future to lead apes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with a hairy face and gap-toothed smile looks at her reflection in a mirror. The sender's parise is ironic., Text: Oh! Thou art my joy and my pride, / So delicate soft is thy skin: / Those blushes, my fair, never hide, / For fain I’d my Valentine win., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman wears a large crinoline. Two small boys in the background mock her by saying "Hoop de doo den doo" and "Who's your Cooper?" One also places a basket on her skirt., Text: A hundred years ago they say, / Hoops were the fashion of the day, / They now completely stop the way. / Hoop de doo den doo. / As they sail along as fine, /In the day’s most busy time, / The passers by will CRY-NO-LINE! / Hoop de doo den doo. / I’m sure it must be van-i-ty, / That makes you so extrav-a-gant-ly / Dress that all the boys will cry, / Hoop de doo den doo. / “Who’s your Cooper” now they ask, / You roll along just like a Cask, / And getting by you is a task, / (with your) Hoop de doo-den doo., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman in a bulky coat stands with her hands in her pockets. The sender suggests the sketch presents a a true and less flattering likeness, which ought to correct the recipient's conceited attitude., Text: I send you my dearest a sketch of your Phiz, / Just look in the glass and you’ll find it, / ‘Tis so true you’ll admit ‘tis not meant for a Quiz, / It may cure your conceit, so pray mind it., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
Two cats are on a tiled roof. One has a woman's head. Behind the roof is a man with a face. "To go upon the tiles" means to embark on a drinking or sexual adventure. The valentine accuses the woman of indulging her passions in excess., Text: You love to go upon the Tiles, / To exercise your wanton wiles; / Nowhere will you find your match / In coming up unto the SCRATCH., "No. 141", Provenance: Helfand, Wiliam H..
The angry woman beats her philandering lover with a broom as he lies across her lap. A speech balloon by her head reads " HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH THE SERVANT?" as he cries, "Oh! Oh!", Text: It’s evident, my angry fair, / Whate’er your wrongs, How much you (bare) bear; / Tho’ I would rather not be sharing / My lot with one who’s so for bareing; / Such wives as thee who ever’s got ‘em, / Will find they’re very bad at BOTTOM! / So I for my part would decline. / Such a very STRIKING Valentine., Cf. Valentines 1.19, 1.20., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A girl stands with her hands on her hips. Her face is covered in bandages. The valentine suggests the injuries might be self-inflicted., Text: Pray tell me, miss, how came you by them? / Are they cuts or scratches? / Or are they beauty-spots—good gracious! / All those awful patches?, "392", Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman in a long dress is standing by an icy pond. She crosses her arms and looks down at the ground. The sender citicizes the recipeint for lacking warmth and being overly concerned with propriety., Text: You’re very nice though somewhat old, / And I should say you’re rather cold, / Your looks a penny ice would freeze, / Or cause an Esquimaux to sneeze., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman with an oversized head leans over a smaller man with her index finger raised in the air. Her mouth is open and her tongue is out. The man has a papers labeled "Tracts" in his pocket and a book labeled "Bible" has fallen on the floor. The valentine criticizes her for exhausting others and monopolizing the preacher's attention., Text: ‘Tis said you loved a Parson, / And he was short of breath; / You cornered him so well one day / You talked him right to death. / Now, when they hear you’re coming, / It makes them wince and frown; / The seek the nearest depot, / And take the train from town. / I pray thee stop, and have some pity, / Or we won’t have a preacher in the city., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A young woman in a gown holds a bouquet of flowers., Text: Thou languishing young lady bird, / Thou angel quite untainted, / With ruby lips and well formed hips, / Pray tell me – are you painted! / You’re uglier than the Gorgon, / That hightoned folks to stone, / I little thought my darling, / Such a beauty you’d have grown., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman with glasses and a bun is sewing bonnets. The valentine suggests she is unattractive to suitors and will be an old maid, so she should focus on her millinery., Text: Miss bonnet-builder, such a guy I never saw before, / Your bonny hair is a knob behind, your nose a knob before, / That your head’s a bonnet-block that of it maybe said, / Who would ever have a Valentine that is a blockhead, / So drop the thoughts of Valentines and attends to bonnet shapes, / For you are built for an old maid, in future to lead apes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wearing a cloak and bonnet holds at lamppost for support. Her mouth is open and she appears drunk. A sign on the wall behind her says "Gin." The Valentine faults her for her drunkenness., Text: Hic, -- hic, --hic, --drink is your soul's delight, / And your only Valentine, / Go, you drunken wretch, steep your brain in Alcohol, / You never shall be mine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wearing a large and elaborate skirt sticks her nose in the air and carries a comically small parasol. The valentine chides her for having an inflated opinion of her own beauty and style., Text: You think, no doubt, you walk with grace, / With bustle of the largest space, / Covered with yards of costly lace. / And every time we chance to meet, / At party, theatre, or street, / You look so very sugar-sweet / But one who wears a dress so / Shall never be a wife of mine, / So seek another Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
Two women gossip over a wall., Text: Think not, Miss Tittle tattle, to impart / One ray of pure affection to my heart, / A wedding ring from me no one shall handle, / Whose sole delight is gossiping and scandal! / You stupid minx, you mischief-making slut, / Your silly head you in a bag may put, / For as a wife you never sure will shine, -- / You’ll ne’er be chosen for a Valentine., Lloyd, signed by Pickering, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman with a long nose holds a bonnet. Other millinery articles sit on a table behind her and a piar of scissors hangs from her waist., Text: Ugliest of the fair creation, / With lips that are not red but blue; / And face devoid of animation, / Take me for your lover true., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman in mourning clothings hold a handkerchief to her eyes and smiles. She gestures to a sign on the wall behind her thats reads "A Bargain Second Hand to be Disposed of". Another sign on the wall reads "To Let". The valentine suggests she is looking for a new husband immediately after being widowed., Provenance: Helfand, William H.
An unkempt woman leans against a post and drinks from a bottle of liquor., Text: Begone, you dirty drunken jade, / And feed along with swine, / For none but a pig would have you / To be his Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A portly woman smiles vacantly and holds a bottle of liquor. The valentine suggests that her consumption of alcohol has permanently rendered her unattractive., Text: O! Whisky is your souls delight / Your only Valentine. / Go steep your brains in alcohol. / You never shall be mine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A short and stout country bumpkin smiles and carries a pitchfork. The sender rejects the recipient's romantic advances because of his occupation., Text: Blundering little hussy, who can never move about, / But furniture and tea trays are all put to the rout ; / It's all your foolish vanity because you wil be seen, / When about your work, dressed in a crinoline : / Pray leave off your hoops and gain a little sense, / And then to gain a husband you may make some pretence., "No. 186", Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A tall woman is kissing a short, moustached man. Behind her on a table are a bokk markeds "Hymns" and another marked "Bible". The valentine asserts that this is not the first time the woman has kissed a minister and that when his wife heard about it before, she tore out the woman's hair, which is why she wears a wig. The valentine cautions that if she repeats this behavior, she can expect to lose this wig as well., Text: Don’t look so pious, madam, / We’ve heard of you before, / You kissed the little minister / Behind his study door; / And when his wife heard of it, / The row ensued was big, / And that is how you came to wear / That little curled-up wig. Now pray be careful what you do, / Or you will lose your nice wig too., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman wears a dress with a large bow, gloves and a hat and carries an umbrella. The valentine criticizes her for talking too loudly., Text: In girls of these progressive days / A little boldness we expect, / And, when within due bounds it’s kept, / Not many will object: / But, o’er all bounds you go so far / With your loud ways, and saucy face, / That every one’s disgusted with / Your lack of womanly grace., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman in an elaborate outfit smiles and puts one hand on her hip. Her smile reveals gaps in her teeth. The valentien suggests she has an inlfated opinion of herself., Text: In cheap, dinky togs, which you think very fine, / You try every Sunday to cut a big shine; / Of style or of beauty you’ve nothing to speak, / But you make up your shortage with plenty of cheek. / Perhaps you imagine that people you meet / Don’t know what you are as you walk down the street; / If so, you’re in error to think them so green, / For you’re known for a Shop Girl as soon as you’re seen., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
