A man with a thick beard stands in front of a table. A sign that reads "Ugly Club" is behind him., Text: Each day your phiz more ugly grows, / 'T'would do first-rate to scare the crows; / Each one that sees you, verdict gives / That you're the ugliest man that lives., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a man crouching down with his hand near his face. His shadow resembles a monkey. The text references the theory of evolution presented by Charles Darwin in his On the origin of species (1859)., Text: It is believed some men among, / That all us folks from monkey sprung, / But until first I saw your face, / I did not think such was the case, / Yet then I thought it might be true-- / That is, my friend, regarding you., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Magnus, Charles.
A woman who stands with her arms folded. Her dress reveals much of her breasts. Her face is heavily shaded with thick eyebrows and dark hair., Text: No paint, nor powder, needs that skin of thine / Shroud not thy beauty in goods of cost, / For only know, my beat'ous Valentine, / Beauty, when unadorned's adorned the most., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with pox marks on her face wears a ball gown. The valentine possibly references sexually transmitted diseases., Text: The marks of every passion base / You plainly bear upon your face / Distorted, vile in every feature, / Indeed you are a loathsome creature., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman's facial features are asymmetrical, with her eyes on different planes and pointing in different directions. She wears a dress with a red top and yellow skirt, and very large earrings., Text: Eyes not mates, and hair like carrots;/ Nose and chin like any parrots;/ No doubt, you think that face of thine,/ Will charm my heart, my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man standing in profile; his shadow resembles a goose., Text: Oh! pray great Good, and silly elf, / Go from my sight, and hide yourself. / 'Mongst christains [i.e., christians], surely is no place / For a thing, with such a face. / A goose like you must live alone, / No Duck will ever be your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A worker wearing a hat and apron hold a piece fo cloth on a stick above a dyeing vat. The sender rejects the recipient because of his lowly occupation., Text: Your person reminds me of some ugly Cub / Therefore I advise you to stick to your tub/ If by Dying you live pray sir don’t die for me, / For my heart’s not engaged yet nor likely to be., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man with simian features kneels in the grass and smokes a cigar., Text: Here your portrait you may see, / Drawn as like as like can be, / Your features coarse, your frightful shape, / You may behold, you ugly ape! / A glance from you, you horrid churl, / The life would frighten from any girl., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man has a hog's face and a large waistline. He has a bottle in his pocket. The sender references the Swedenborgian belief that one's mind shapes one's appearance in hell to suggest that the recipient is a hog., Text: If Swedenborgians tell us true, / When dead, our mortal selves appear, / When bad, like beasts to other's view, / So you will look as pictur'd here., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "beauty of Ireland" wears a shawl and a ribbon in her hair, and her dress reveals her chest. She has pointed facial features and smiles. "Mavourneen" is an Irish term for "my darling," and the verse mocks Irish accents., Text: Och, you're a beauty, mavourneen, my darlin'! / That swate Irish brogue, too, as thick as my ar-r-m; / Faith, when I see yez, I cannot help calling, / "St. Patrick presarve me, and kape me from har-r-m!", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sews a cap. She has an enlarged nose and a moustache and sits at a table with men's caps on it. The caps' blue color may indicate that they are for Union soldiers., Text: Dainty damsel, time ne'er lingers, / On those very active fingers, / Other females, you make charming! / Make yourself, then, less alarming! / As it is, -- I don't incline, / To pick you for a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A coachmen wearing a top hat opens the door of a carriage., Text: When I’m stuck behind the Carriage, / With my cockade on my hat, / The servant maids, I hear them / Say, a nice young man is that., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
Envelope illustrated with a central image showing a fashionable woman, her long hair loose, and over her shoulder. Also contains a border comprised of floral imagery. Susan Allen, wife of a New York dentist, marketed her restorer starting in the 1840s. She sold her business to Selah R. Van Duzer circa 1862., Text printed on verso: A Real Hair Restorer and Dressing in One Bottle. Mrs. S. A. Allen's Improved New Style Hair Restorer. Price one dollar. Buy a Bottle of Mrs. Allen's Hair Restorer and receive a Perfumed Sachet free. Perfumed Sachet. Place this unopened in Drawer or Trunk, the Odor is delicious. Its remarkable success is due to the superiority and freshness of its ingredients, and the scrupulous care bestowed in its manufacture; also for its prompt, quick action, great growth, life, and vigor that it is sure to give to the hair-never failing by a few applications, to restore Gray or White Hair to its Natural Color. Ladies will find it a standard toilet luxury to dress their hair. Sold by all druggists. Principal Sales Offices, 198 and 200 Greenwich Street, New York, and 266 High Holborn, London, England., Cataloging funded by a grant from the National Endowment for the Humanities (PW-506-19-10), 2010-2012., Gift of William H. Helfand.
Date
[ca. 1870]
Location
Library Company of Philadelphia | Print Department Helfand Popular Medicine Ephemera Collection - Bags and envelopes [P.2010.37.94]
A Union soldier holds a musket with a bayonet. His nose is larger than the bayonet, but both have the same shape., Text: When our lines to break, / The enemy tries, / Do let me for once / Your brave spirit advise: / When things look promiscuous, / And are coming to a blows, / Then--away with your musket, / And charge with your nose., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a man with a dog's head. He wears boxing gloves labeled "insant death" and "six months illness.". He also wears a monocle and a top hat, which suggest that he is a "puppy," or dandy. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Do you think you ugly man, / Because you're like a black-and-tan, / And a hitter from the shoulder-joint likewise, / That on you the blooming girls, / With their fascinating curls, / Will glance with approbation in their eyes / If you do you're much mistaken, / For it's just as sure as bacon / No fighter can a woman's true love win, / But the soldier-boy whose blows / Fall on his country's foes / When the ring is pitched, the battle-field within., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
