A man holds a gun in the countryside. His hat has fallen off and he appears to be losing his balance. The valentine suggests he is an inept hunter., Text: Now I’m sure it is a shame, / You should of harmless birds make game; / But in some cases it is true, / The little birds MAKE GAME of you., "No. 82", Provenance: Helfand, William H..
The thin schoolmaster sharpens his quill and looks away from the classroom of children. The valentine mocks him for targeting younger and smaller children because he is afraid of the older, larger ones., Text: Oh! Mighty Framer of the youthful mind! Great among the Small ones! / You spank the little ones behind, Afraid to touch the tall ones; / A sour Curmudgeon, like yourself, You'd better seek in time; / If you don't, you ugly Elf, You'll have have no Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A policeman in uniform holds a lantern in his hand. The valentine suggests that he takes advantage of the benefits of his position and shies away from the responsibilities., Text: If the right one’s a strong ‘un, / You collar the wrong ‘un, / It’s one of the tricks of the trade. / All the members / Of the force, / Have a watch / and chain, of course. /You’re the biggest fraud in the force, / and with your lantern in your hand, / You frighten all the kids / and rob every costers stand, /You sample the gin at the corners, / till your nose is as red as a beet, / And if they come down with the tanners, / you wink at the rascals who cheat, / You are after all the cookies, / like any love sick chick, / And when there’s a row a brewing / you scamper away mighty quick., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A Union soldier runs from a bullet. He carries an empty sword sheath. He has a long white beard, many wrinkles, and open mouth. The term "Zoo Zoo" refers to the Zouave regiments in the Civil War., Text: Behold your coward self from bullets flying, / No fear that you in battle will be dying; / Your large mouth open, and teeth clattering with fear, / As the spent shots come whistling through the air. / Such cowardice friend Zoo Zoo, is a very sure sign, / That you cannot have me for your own Valentine., "510", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union calvalryman rides a donkey. He has a sword and spurs. The valentine suggests that his appearance does not match his abilities., Text: Ha, ha! don't you think you're brave? / No officer e'er looked bolder / But, all who march with you, / Think the asses head should be upon your shoulder., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line quotes from Charles Carroll Sawyer's sentimental Civil War ballad, "When this cruel war is over." The valentine shows a Union soldier lighting his cigarette from a bomb as bombs fly in the background behind him. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: "When this cruel war is over," And our noble Volunteers / home return to live in clover / Shan't we have good times, my dears? Honor to the heroes, who by / Their brave deeds us captivate, / Thank of all the kisses ruby / That upon their coming wait!, Variant of 2.9 and 2.10., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Sawyer, Charles Carroll, b. 1833. When this cruel war is over.
A Union soldier stands behind a tree while other soldiers fight in the background. The valentine mocks the cowardice of soldiers who buy their commissions., Text: Charge boys, charge, while I stand behind a tree; / The fighting is for you, and it's left for me to see. / I suppose you will ask me how I got my position, / I hauled out my money and paid for my commission., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Confederate soldier runs away from bullets and cannonballs. He has a fearful expression. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You doubtless think that prudence is a virtue, / And therefore dangerous favors you decline. / Run swiftly when you fear that aught will hurt you. / But never hope to be my Valentine., "12", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line quotes from Charles Carroll Sawyer's Civil War ballad, "When this cruel war is over." The valentine shows a Union soldier lighting his cigarette from a bomb as bombs fly in the background behind him. The piece has an embossed border. The valentine satirizes the purported bravery of the volunteers by showing them as foolish., Text: "When this cruel war is over," And our noble Volunteers / home return to live in clover / Shan't we have good times, my dears? Honor to the heroes, who by / Their brave deeds us captivate, / Thank of all the kisses ruby / That upon their coming wait!, Variant of Valentine 2.8 and Valentine 2.10., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands in front of a bar and spills his drink onto a waiter's tray. The soldier is thin, carries a sword, and has a large head, and the other figures are much smaller., Text: You may swagger and blow, but people all know, / That you're filled up with less war than poor brandy, / that you never would fight in a bar-room or field, / But brandy could swallow quite handy. / And there's many a door that has a long score, / Chalked down to this bar-room commander, / Who never has chink -- but is ready to drink, / With each scaly looking bystander., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two Zouave Union soldiers run among rifles, pistols, cannons, and cannonballs, one of which is marked rum., Text: Zu-Zu, you made a splendid run, / From Bull-Run fight, to Washington. / By Bully Runners e'er so fleet; / Your feats of legs such wonders/ raised, / That every one has stood amazed. / So, Coward Recreant, Renegade, / Your Valentine I'll not be made., Cf. Valentine 11.49 and Valentine 12.1., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a soldier spearing a cat with a bayonet. Another cat stands on the doorframe., Text: Oh! what a brave heroic man!! indeed it is pity / No other foe is near to charge, but a ferocious kitty! / Your patriotism you should curb, don't let your fury loose, / Perchance, before the battle's over, you'll meet a poor old goose. / You're very brave in times of peace, with bayonet and gun, / But should you see the foe in front, good gracious, how you'd run., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two Zouave Union soldiers run among rifles, pistols, cannons, and cannonballs, one of which is marked rum., Text: Zu-Zu, you made a splendid run, / From Bull-Run fight, to Washington. / By Bully Runners e'er so fleet; / Your feats of legs such wonders/ raised, / That every one has stood amazed. / So, Coward Recreant, Renegade, / Your Valentine I'll not be made., Cf. Valentine 11.49 and Valentine 11.50., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier rides a horse with his feet are out of the stirrups, his scabbard empty, and his mouth open and frowning., Text: Go it, skedaddler, what a queer sight, / To see a brave (?) soldier run off from a fight; / Whenever you hear there's a sign of a battle, / Your kneepans and toes together do rattle. / The best friends you have they are now getting soured, / On seeing you are such an absolute coward., "518", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears a bonnet and crinoline over his clothing while he does laundry. The valentine satirizes men who did not fight in the Civil War and characterizes them as cowardly and effeminate., Text: You enlist! not to fight at your dear country's call. / You keep from the field where the brave fight & fall; / A sneak and a coward, and no force or persuasion, / Could make you leave home, but the fact of invasion., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Zouave Union soldier holds a pistol and a sword. Cannon balls fly in the background, suggesting that he is in danger, and foolisth rather than brave., Text: Through leaden rain and iron hail / My Zou-Zou never turns his tail / And though he's often fit and bled / He's sure he's right and goes ahead., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The colonel wears a green jacket and red pants, and his uniform is neither Union nor Confederate. He wears a disproportionally long sword in a scabbard and stands in front of a writing desk. He has long sideburns and a thick moustache., Text: When perched on your charger on dress parade / You look as brave soldier as ever was made / If you look but as brave when bullets fly / You Country will love you and so will I., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union Zouave soldier holds a rifle with a bayonet., Text: You're a gay Zoovey Zoo, with that big beard of thine, / But I think from the army you'd better resign; / A few think you're brave, but a great many say / You're sheet-ironed behind, and you will run away. / If such be the case, it's a very bad sign, / And you never will make a tip-top Valentine., "506", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A cavalry soldier rides a horse with his feet out of the stirrups. He carries a large sword. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory in 1863., Text: You think yourself both bold and brave, of course, / Whene'er you safely gallop down your line; / Yourself as jaded as your wretched horse, / Who'd have a scarecrow for a Valentine?, "11.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A sailor rows past a large ship with many male and female civilians on deck. "Tar" is slang for a sailor., Text: Row away, Red, White, and Blue, / Put the vile seceshers through; / Then row back quick, my gallant tar, / To her who waits thee from afar., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier runs admidst cannon balls. His cap has come off his head., Text: In every army, great and small, / There is a set of patent blowers, / Who of the work make out to shirk all, / And of their valiant deeds are crowers. / But let a battle once commence, / Away they travel for some tree or fence; / You find their brains too soon are addled, / And you've but to see that they've skedaddled., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The soldier carries a rifle with a bayonet and wears a Union uniform with a blue coat with tails and epaulets, top hat, and scarf. Behind him, a small dog barks., Text: Bravest of soldiers in fine weather, / A monkey with a cap and feather, / You'd hardly dare to shoot a hog, / And scamper from a little dog., "114", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two Zouave Union soldiers run among rifles, pistols, cannons, and cannonballs, one of which is marked rum., Text: Zu-Zu, you made a splendid run, / From Bull-Run fight, to Washington. / By Bully Runners e'er so fleet; / Your feats of legs such wonders/ raised, / That every one has stood amazed. / So, Coward Recreant, Renegade, / Your Valentine I'll not be made., Cf. Valentine 11.50 and Valentine 12.1., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier wearing a rucksack holds a large musket and smokes while he adjusts his glove., Text: Head up, eyes right, every inch a soldier, / Pity that your uniform did not make you bolder; / In the rank of soldier boys, then you'd proudly shine / Terror of your Secesh foes, lord of this heart of mine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier stands at a bar drinking a tankard of beer. A sign behind him reads, "Wanted Recruits for the Army." The valentine mocks the recruiting officer for using alcohol to recruit unfit men., Text: Gentility, neatness and courage / In a warrior I hold to be dear / But uniform don't make the soldier / Nor a coward get courage from Beer., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man leans on a crunch and a walking stick. He wears a hat that says "D.B. Exempt." D.B. stands for "dead beat," a slang term for men who faked injuries or illness to avoid duty., Text: How suddenly, dear sir, you stopped your talk of war and glory, / When you thought a draft was to take place. But it's the same old story; / A dog that's always barking, they say will never bite, / So with one who talks of fighting, he's the last one to go fight. / There's a very apt old saying, and 'twill well apply to you, / That a man can't be a patriot, and be a coward too., "528", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man ice skates. He has a monocle around his neck and holds a walking stick, suggesting that he is a dandy., Text: You lightly glide in sportive mood, / And to the backward outer-edge; / While flowing now a sea of blood, / To keep a nation's sacred pledge. / Squirm on, poor fool! knock-knees! turn out, / And while distorted shapes you twine; / Hear loud the jeering chorus shout-- / A coward finds no Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a Union soldier with a long moustache. He wears glasses and holds a pipe that extends to the floor. His chest is puffed up, and his legs are thin. The valentine satirizes his lack of bravery, childishness, and excessive stylishness. "Bully Russell" refers to the journalist William Howard Russell, the correspondent for the London Times., Text: You went to war to see the fun, / Now what the d---l made you run; / You ran so fast from all the bustle / You were only beaten by bully Russell., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier puts snuff in his nose and leans his rifle against his arm. Dead soldiers lie around him, and cannonballs are in the air and on the ground., Text: To make folks think you're bold and brave, / You swear your country you will save, / And fiercely charge upon her foes, / But first you'll stop to charge your nose; -- / Like the dog that lost the rabbit. / When taken short, -- as was his habit; / This application suits me fine, / That I can't be your Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
