The crusty fellow of the valentine stands facing a flight of stairs. He holds an umbrella and wears a hat. He grimaces and has large, pointed features., Text: You're always full of dumps and vapors, / And playing off your crabbed capers; / I'd die a maiden old and fusty, / Ere I would wed a man so crusty., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The disagreeable man frowns and has a creased face., Text: A proverb that I often hear, / Most truthfully to you applies; / Let's whisper it into your ear -- / 'Tis, "Vineagar never catches flies.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with an ill-tempered expression stands with her hands on her hips., Text: 'Tis my belief that God created wives / To sweeten all the troubles of men's lives; / But surely, you exert your utmost power, / To poison his best joys and turn them sour., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
An older woman leans on a counter. A dog sits on its hind legs on the other dise of the counter. A sign says "All kinds of fancy goods". The valentine suggests that her ill-temper makes he unfit to serve customers or attract a husband., Text: You ill-tempered maid, old age is creeping o’er you, / And you ill-treat the folks, who come to buy from you / Your restless tongue’s abuse, is sharper than a burr, / And you’re only fit to wait, upon some stupid cur. / Nobody will buy from you, and he who’s your boss, / Should send you off at once, and save a further loss., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A Union soldier's head is shaped like a bomb, and his mouth is a smoking fuse. He stands next to a cannon. The title references the fairytale Jack and the beanstalk. The valentine mocks the soldier for his unappealing bad temper., Text: Who'd marry a man with a head like a bomb, / And a mouth with a smoking fusee? / What woman with him her life would trust, / For his head might at any moment burst, / And then, where would she be?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
