A man, one half of his body shown as a white man and the other half as an African American man, lectures in front of a small table. He holds an umbrella with his African American hand, as well as wears no shoe on his African American foot., Text: Whew! don't you know that you're played out? That your occupation's gone? Why do you make such fuss about that poor old well-pick'd bone? Or are you lost, so far corrupted, You can't improve 'till re-constructed?
The valentine depicts a well-dressed white man gesturing to a seated African American man whose head, feet, and buttocks are disproportionately large. The "burs" suggest the seated man does field work, and his trousers are ragged., Text: O, massa Abolitionist! you're mighty fond of jokes, / And play em on de darkey as well as on white folks / But all your mighty promises dey neber come to pass, / And every we take your chair de burs stick in / our ---- trouserloons., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Accept your own" depicts a woman walking purposefully. Her apron and simple dress suggest that she is likely a working woman. The verse implies sexual rejection., Text: I'd scorn to keep aught that is yours, / I'd feel myself above it; / Take, then, the above, I want it not, / Nor you, nor it, I covet., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Admiration" depicts a man observing a woman who is seated on a park bench. He is smoking a cigar, and his jacket is too small for his waist, but his pocket chain, tie, plaid wiastcoat, and hat suggest an interest in fashion. The woman, who is reading a book, is seated in a position that reveals her calves below her pink walking dress; she does not appear to notice the man., Text: I saw her in the garden / A readin' of a book/ I couldn't help admirin' / Well, -- say the maiden's look! / I wondered if she knew it, / And turned again to see; / For, if I thought she did, I vow, / My valentine she should be., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Affection" burlesques domestic disturbance. The husband and wife stand facing each other; she is armed with a sword, and he holds a riding crop over his head. The room is in disarray, with a chair and a three-legged table overturned. The text and image suggest that marriage ends in conflict, and the sender attempts to dissuade the recipient from it. Also visible in the room are a framed picture, a fireplace with a vase of flowers on the mantle and a kettle on the grate, an alarmed cat, drapery with a tie-back for a multipaned window, and carpeting., Text: O, this is the way 'twill be with us, / When we've been wed a year; / We'll be at it, shovel and tongs, / I promise you, my dear! / Like the poor cat upon the hearth, / We'll both be in hot water; / The hair will fly, the wife will cry,/ the table fall, the baby squall / And the fire get hot and hotter., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The ugly hatter stands at a table ironing top hats. "Gossamer" refers to the shellacked muslin pieces that shaped silk hats. "Swipes" is slang for copious drinking, and "logwood" is a type of dye. "Judy" is slang for a ridiculous woman, and the sender suggests that the recipient could only marry such a woman., Text: Ah! now I well know what it was that I smelt, / It was the bottle-nosed, rabbit-mouthed dealer in felt. / Mother Judy might marry such a fellow, but I-- / Detest such a dabbler in logwood and dye, / Though your head is so big-- 'tis of gossamer rig-- / All bloated and puffed, like a measly pig, / Beastly swiller of swipes-- what a picture is thine-- / Bad luck to the girl who is your Valentine., See similar print, A Hatter, Comic Valentines, 4.40, Provenance: Helfand, William H.
The trooper [i.e., cavalry soldier] kneels before a young woman who is crying. He wears a blue Union uniform, and his hat and gloves lie on the ground before him. Sitting on his spurs, the trooper appears pained. The text and image suggest that the trooper has no interest in the woman's feelings, and is concerned only with his immediate physical discomfort., Text: Ah! what is the matter, my trooper so gay, / While to this young lass you are kneeling? / Your head, it is soft-- as for heart you have none, / Your butt alone seems to have feeling., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
On public transportation, two fashionable young men (a "pair of bloods") crowd a woman so much that her crinoline billows up, revealing her legs. The men's high opinion of themselves (as "big bugs," or men of importance) is not shared by the woman. A third man is visible in outline; each man wears a different style of hat., Text: Aint you a pretty pair of bloods, as in the cars you ride, / To croud and squeze a lady so, with room upon each side, / You are two big bugs indeed, the ladies think you are two swine, / To squeze a lady in the cars, and smash a crinoline., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A jockey stands at a bar drinking from a beer tankard with a dog standing attentively at his side. In the background, a bartender stands behind the bar across from a woman who grins and holds a glass., Text: Alas, poor man, thy suit of plush, / Has fairly turned thy brain I ween, / But if thou art a man, Oh! blush, / To be a thing so very mean, / Oh! Jockey of the spotless clothes, / Oh! Jockey of the gundy plush, / Oh! Jockey with the turn up nose, / I pity thee and for thee blush., Provenance: Helfand, William H.
A dancing woman wears a veil and a brightly colored gown. The first line of the verse alludes to Milton's L'Allegro (1645) and refers to dancing. She wears a necklace and bracelet., Text: To trip it on the light fantastic toe-- / To every ball and rout you wish to go; / Your only loves, my charmer, now confess, / Are but the loves of balls and loves of dress., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Clad in a skirt with yellow furbelows and a bonnet, the woman carries a parasol., Text: On the back of your head a neat little bonnet, / A great wide spreading skirt, with furb'ows on it, / Your pride is in dress, but, really, you somehow, / Just put me in mind of a doll, on a hay-mow., Cf. 1.8., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Clad in a skirt with yellow furbelows and a bonnet, the woman carries a parasol., Text: On the back your head a neat little bonnet, / A great wide speading skirt, with furblows on it; / Your pride is in dress, but, really, you somehow, / Just put me in mind of a doll, on a hay-mow., Cf. 1.9., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The man's torso is a barrel of lager that shields him from cupid's arrows. His limbs are covered with armor, and his face is also shaped like a barrel. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]. "Dutchmen" in the verse may refer to either Dutch or German ("Deutsche") men., Text: Little Cupid, don't be stupid, / Thus your darts to shoot away / At the Dutchmen, for on such men / Lost all your wily play, / As they swagger, full of lager, Up and down the cellar-way., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"All Tongue" depicts a large woman in the foreground. Her mouth is open, and she points her finger toward the man covering his ears in the background. The text chastises women who speak too much., Text: Chattering, chattering, all day long, / Driving all mad with your senseless tongue; / Hung in the middle, it rattles away, / But "talkers are doers, but seldom" they say., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The dollar worshipper kneels before a woman who has large sacks of money by her feet. The worshipper has a serpentine body with a curved spine and a hooked nose that suggests that he is Jewish. The large mirror and the curtained windows in the room suggest that the woman is wealthy. Because of the proximity of the woman to the money, it is not clear whom or what he worships., Text: Ha, ha, 'tis thus on bended knee, / You press your vows of adoration,/ But virtue's not your honest plea,/ Nor yet a life of pure devotion,/ For naught but the almighty dollar,/ Could make you wear the marriage collar., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The carriage driver has a large nose, a beard and curly hair. He holds a horse whip and a woman watches him from a window in the background. "Shoful" is slang for questionable., Text: Although you drive a Hansom, a handsome driver you are not, / For your looks are very "shoful," and your's is a shabby lot; / So drive away dear Cabby, and don't cast sheep's eyes at me, For I like a smarter chap than you -- your "fair" I'll never be, Provenance: Helfand, William H.
The Lieutenant wears a blue Union lieutenant's uniform. His hair is white, and his face is dark with either dirt or facial hair. His mouth is open, his eyes are closed, and he spills gin as he marches. Gin has particularly negative connotations in the nineteenth century as the drink of the poor and unvirtuous., Text: Although you're a Lieutenant bold, / With sprouts upon thy chin; / At home you spent your store of gold / To drink a store of gin. / And, as your eyes with drunken lustre shine, / I ne'er can be your Valentine., "513", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The soldier sleeps next to a table on which his sword, a bottle, and cup are visible. His white hair and facial features suggest that he is elderly. He wears blue pants, a blue cap, and a short red jacket, which corresponds with low military rank., Text: Always sleeping at your post, / No wonder battles now are lost; / The folks do wonder how it is, / That with us all things go amiss. / You sleep and snore, cough, blink, and hic! / You're enough to make a damsel sick., "521", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a dress with a high neckline; her corsage and handkerchief suggest that she may be at a social function.. She slouches against a wall between and door and a picture frame, and her nearly closed eyes and open mouth suggest that lack of intelligence accompany her manners and money., Text: Politeness and dress, in this gay world of ours, / Are considered the tests of gentility; / But we commonly find a great lack mind, / Where the're found with so much amiability., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman hunches forward and wears a dress with a low neckline and furbelows. The valentine satirizes women who are too bold in their affections., Text: O! quite too willing; pray excuse me; / I had rather not, my dear: / Your love, too ardent, might confuse me; / Wait, perhaps I may next year., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a woman in a booth labeled "Vote the Ladies Union Ticket." The woman inside of the booth reaches out to a hesitant man. The text and image criticize woman's rights advocates for not recognizing their proper places and suggests that such women are not desirable sexually or socially. The woman appears to be wearing a bustle; bustles became popular after 1869., Text: Among the women who in history brightest have shone / Are those who have left the men's affairs alone, / Who in their homes have found their proper places, / And sought not in crowds to show their faces; / We see you seek a different line-- / You are too bold to be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Her crinoline pulls up the fabric of the Irish domestic's dress as she leans forward and reveals her legs and behind. The verse shames the biddy for her immodesty and does not blame the men watching., Text: An! biddy, dear, do cease to scrub, / And mount a box, bench, chair or tub, / For while you're dusting off the blind, / The boys are peeping up behind., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The angry woman beats her philandering lover with a broom as he lies across her lap. A speech bubble by her head reads " HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH THE SERVANT?" as he cries, "Oh! Oh!" The man is contorted and the woman appears larger than him, which makes him look childlike, and her appear domineering., Text: It's evident my angry fair, / Whate'er your wrongs, how much you (bare) bear / Tho' I would rather not be sharing / My lot with on who's so for-bareing: / Such wives as thee who ever's got 'em, / Will find they're very hard at BOTTOM! / So I for my part would decline, / Such a very striking Valentine., Variant of Valentine 1.19, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The angry woman beats her philandering lover with a broom as he lies across her lap. A speech bubble by her head reads " HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH THE SERVANT?" as he cries, "Oh! Oh!" The positioning suggests both that he is a child, and she is domineering. The man is contorted, and the woman appears larger than him., Text: It's evident, my angry fair, / Whate'er your wrongs, how much you (bare) bear, / Tho' I would rather not be sharing / My lot with on who's so for-bareing: / Such wives as thee who ever's got 'em, / Will find they're very hard at BOTTOM! / So I for my part would decline / Such a very striking Valentine., Cf. 1.20., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"The Army Contractor" shows a bearded man in a fur hat and coat, with his hands in his pocket. He stands near a chest with drawers. The valentine criticizes contractors for their dishonest practices. Camphene is a mixture of oils used for lamp fuel and explosives., Text: For whiskyy [i.e. whiskey] ou [i.e. you] sell bad camphene toddy,/ And clothe poor soldiers with flimsy shoddy;/ Its not after glory you pant,/ Its only after dollars and cents you want., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The picture shows a simian-headed Irishman riding a pig. He holds a "shillelah" or cudgel. "Crubeen" are fried pigs' feet. The text compares the Irishman's appearance with that of the pig., Arrah, Patrick, my boy, now, and where are you jigging? / Where would you be after just driving the pig in? With such a shillelah, why, truly, and really, / You ride to the devil, dear Paddy, all gaily. / Don't you see how the crubeen is bone of thy bone-- / How his snout, master Paddy, resembles your own? / By the hod! to your liking I ne'er could incline, / Or compelled, why the pig should be Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine features a man in uniform with a cannon for his head. A wheel rests behind his back, and he holds a lit cord in this hand. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Are you primed and loaded / My bold gunner? / If you only "knowed it" / You're a stunner. / Blow a cloud of smoke / From your muzzle-- / Why it don't you choke / Is a puzzle., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The soldier stands in front of a cannon and wears a gray Confederate uniform. Vanity and inaction effeminize him. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory for 1863., Text: As you stand there so quietly, in repose, / No doubt you think that you are very fine. / You'd rather slaughter ladies' hearts than foes. / I'd hate to love so vain a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows three men in uniform carrying guns.The first and last men are the same height, but the middle figure is twice their heights and much thinner., Text: Gaunt and slim and bony baby, / You will be promoted -- maybe; / Than your comrades two foot higher, / For what more can you aspire?, Variant of Valentine 5.9., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The author occupies a small part of the valentine. His hands are on his hips, and his legs are wide apart. His face is pinched, and his nose is large., I am a gay author / Of books not a few; / And I long to be read / And approved of by you., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A peddler stands between a fence and a wooden stand. Over his ahoulder is a strap carrying mugs, which are also hanging from the fence and stand., Text: Awkward, clumsy, bawling brute, / How well you with your CALLING suit, / For as about the streets you shout, / Each servant girl on looking out / Exclaims "just hear that fellow, : / To bring the Pot unto his call; / Why what a cheek the fellow's got, / He's only fit to go to Pot., Provenance: Helfand, William H.
The valentine shows an ape in a top hat, gloves, and plaid suit and waist coast. He smokes a cigarette and holds a thin walking stick. "Baboon" is an invidious epithet., Text: A baboon, in some far-on forest, / May be a model for his race; / But here, among the men and women, / Decidedly he's out of place., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts the bust of a man with rounded features and curly hair. He wears a green coat and necktie. His forehead is labeled "impudence", and he sucks air out of a yellow bag labeled "bag of wind.", Text: Some are pinched the wind to raise, / But you've enough to blow your praise, / While such a bag of wind you share, / You cannot die for want of air., Cf. 1.28., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The image depicts a man with his forehead labeled "impudence." He wears a necktie, a jacket with tales, and slim trousers. He sucks air out of a yellow bag labeled "gas.", Text: Some are pinched the wind to raise, / But you've enough to blow your praise; / While such a bag of wind you share, / You cannot die for want of air., Cf. 1.29., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A baker stands in front of his oven. He is smoking a pipe and his shovel leans on the wall next to him., Text: The bread that you bake is not fit for a dog, / Your pies and your cake would sicken a hog; / Sawdust-flour you use, rancid butter and lard, / For such practice you ought to be feathered and tarred, / Or else to be taken and baked in your oven -- / You dirty old cheat, and rascal, and sloven., Provenance: Helfand, William H.
A baker in a paper hat is putting a pie into an oven. His shoe has split open and his red nose, combined with the word "sodden," imply that he is drunk while on the job., Text: What! Buy of you! Your senseless grin / Would sour all your pies, / And not a loaf, poor, sodden oaf, / But would smatter of your lies. / Heavy as lead, your lightest bread, / Cakes, buns, and buscuits, all; / Smash your paper cap on your grinning head, / And into your oven crawl!, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
The woman depicted is thin, gaunt, tall, and has a pinched face. Her arms are raised. She wears a poke-bonnet and a dress with a high neckline and thin skirt., Text: "A Ball, a Ball --- an abomination!" / It's a scandal to all creation : / Now no one would take you; you groan and bawl, / And say that the Dev-l will take us all., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The barber attends a seated goat. He holds a large razor that he has positioned to shave the goat's beard., Text: Conceited, chattering, shallow brain, Whose life's all cut and come again,/ Whose razor's keen, whose wit is full, Half breed between ape and fool : / Such a drivelling fop should ne'er Get up my front, or part my hair; / And as to love, I never can Consent to have a BARBER-OUS man., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in mourning clothings hold a handkerchief to her eyes and smiles. She gestures to a sign on the wall behind her thats reads "A Bargain Second Hand to be Disposed of". Another sign on the wall reads "To Let". The valentine suggests she is looking for a new husband immediately after being widowed., Provenance: Helfand, William H.
A man has a large stomach, long moustache, and round, porcine features which suggest he is German, in keeping with his taste for lager. He stands in front of a barrel, holding a tankard in one hand and a pastry or roll in the other., Text: You're a regular barrel of Lager, / As plain can be seen by your snout; / And what you would save at the spigot, / At the bung you'd be sure to let out., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The bashful girl wears a ribbon in her hair. Her face is hidden by a yellow fan, and her eyes are downcast. She stands in front of a yellow settee. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Nay, cast not thy sweet eyes down, my dear, / 'Tis cruel of you thus to act; / Be they black, be they blue, be they hazel clear, / I should like to establish the fact. / But if your eyes you thus will drop, / To pick them up I cannot stop., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man carries a yoke with two buckets. One is labelled chalk and the other water. Milk means to take undue profit and the use of "cream" and "surface" suggest that the milkman is cheating his customers by adulterating his product so that it looks like milk., Text: Bawling about the streets you go, / With noisy cry of milk Be—low, / BE-LOW indeed the MILK must be, / We none upon the SURFACE see, / For it is plain you never fail / To milk the cow with the iron tail. / Of all the MILKMEN I have seen, / Of roguery you are the CREAM., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
The valentine shows a large man skating as he holds two children in his arms. The child facing front resembles a bull-dog. The verse mocks Irish accents., Text: Be aisy now, darlints, be aisy, I say, / There's swate Widdy Connor skathing this way; / I want to present her these jewels of mine, / And wid them, this gay second-hand Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in a coat and top hat and bear are separated by bars. The man's head is turned away from the bear and the bear is looking at the man. The text characterizes the man as having dangerous animal qualities, and the placement of the two figures poses the question of who is really the beast in a cage., Text: A Bear, what is it but a surly brute? / A pest to women, above dispute, / A surly brute are you, none can deny, / Also a nuisance to society, / Therefore, old Growler, I do decline / To Bruin be a Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man in a coat and top hat and bear are separated by bars. The man's head is turned away from the bear and the bear is looking at the man. The text characterizes the man as having dangerous animal qualities, and the placement of the two figures poses the question of who is really the beast in a cage., Text: A Bear, what is it but a surly brute? / A pestto women, above dispute, / A surly brute are you, none can deny, / Also a nuisance to society, / Therefore, old Growler, I do decline / To Bruin be a Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
The woman's facial features are asymmetrical, with her eyes on different planes and pointing in different directions. She wears a dress with a red top and yellow skirt, and very large earrings., Text: Eyes not mates, and hair like carrots;/ Nose and chin like any parrots;/ No doubt, you think that face of thine,/ Will charm my heart, my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "beauty of Ireland" wears a shawl and a ribbon in her hair, and her dress reveals her chest. She has pointed facial features and smiles. "Mavourneen" is an Irish term for "my darling," and the verse mocks Irish accents., Text: Och, you're a beauty, mavourneen, my darlin'! / That swate Irish brogue, too, as thick as my ar-r-m; / Faith, when I see yez, I cannot help calling, / "St. Patrick presarve me, and kape me from har-r-m!", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman who stands with her arms folded. Her dress reveals much of her breasts. Her face is heavily shaded with thick eyebrows and dark hair., Text: No paint, nor powder, needs that skin of thine / Shroud not thy beauty in goods of cost, / For only know, my beat'ous Valentine, / Beauty, when unadorned's adorned the most., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
An unkempt woman leans against a post and drinks from a bottle of liquor., Text: Begone, you dirty drunken jade, / And feed along with swine, / For none but a pig would have you / To be his Valentine., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman's walking dress reveals her legs and her crinoline. The verse mocks the structure of crinoline, which resembled a cage. She wears black boots, a blue coat, and red cap., Text: Behold her pompous, lofty stride, / With her boots, and hoops ten feet wide; / We'll step aside and let her pass, / A bladder filled with wind or gas, / A petticoat made like a cage: / The monster is so huge in size, / And her dress sticks so far out! / The whirling winds now fill her sail., Cf. 2.32., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
