A tailor with a cabbage on his back rides on a goose holding a pair of shears. "Goose" means a tailors iron, and "cabbage" refers to the fabric leftover from making a garment. Cabbage belonged to the customer, but the valentine accuses the tailor of stealing it., Text: Tailor behold the future ride / That will you one day betide / Upon a Goose you mounted are / Yourself the GREATEST Goose by far; / Slung around your neck is seen / The CABBAGE pilfered from the GREENS, / In your hand a pair of shears / To cut Imp's tails when they appear., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a long beard wears a colorful turban and smokes a long pipe. He sits on a pile of pillows. "Tartar" is slang for an unpleasant woman., Text: My lazy old pipe-smoking turk, / If you catch me you'll have to be smarter; / And if you succeed you may find / In the end that you have caught a tartar., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A dancing woman wears a veil and a brightly colored gown. The first line of the verse alludes to Milton's L'Allegro (1645) and refers to dancing. She wears a necklace and bracelet., Text: To trip it on the light fantastic toe-- / To every ball and rout you wish to go; / Your only loves, my charmer, now confess, / Are but the loves of balls and loves of dress., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a hoop skirt and floats above the ground. Two men look up at her through a grate, and another man looks at her from a window. A street lamp with a face smiles at her. The sender mocks the recipient's exhibitionism., Text: Oft when seated in the Park, / You wonder what attracts each spark. / To turn and look with such surprise; / "I wonder what attracts all eyes?"/ Alas, alas you little know, / What a show you make below., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands in front of a polling place. In one hand, he holds a sign that reads "Defeat the Traitors," and "Virtue, Liberty, and Independence," the latter being the state motto for Pennsylvania. He stretches out his other hand to offer a coin purse. His wrinkled clothes have holes, and his nose is dark and drippy (from drinking?). His apron reads: The regular ticket; the country will be saved., Text: To make frothy speeches, and electioneer, / There's no one doubts, but that you're a honey, / And always ready, so the people swear, / To serve your country for a little money., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a wide head smiles and puts his hands on his hips., Text: Ha! ha! ha! 'tis just your likeness, / And a sweet one sure is this; / Don't you think your grin inviting / All the maids to snatch a kiss?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows the fashionably dressed ladies man with a woman on each arm. He is able to attract women's attention, but the valentine suggest that this attention effeminizes him, as actions like holding shawls and flirting fans are feminine., Text: At church or concert, ball or rout, / You're always sure to be about / To hold a shawl or flirt a fan; / My pretty little "ladies man.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A smirking woman holding a small purse waves a handkerchief over her shoulder. The valentine suggests that a woman who flirts with many men will be a bad wife., Text: You're like a fair young rose bush, / Where each beau plucks a rose, / 'Till nought but thorns are left behind, / To prove the husband's woes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a man with a dog's head. He wears boxing gloves labeled "insant death" and "six months illness.". He also wears a monocle and a top hat, which suggest that he is a "puppy," or dandy. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Do you think you ugly man, / Because you're like a black-and-tan, / And a hitter from the shoulder-joint likewise, / That on you the blooming girls, / With their fascinating curls, / Will glance with approbation in their eyes / If you do you're much mistaken, / For it's just as sure as bacon / No fighter can a woman's true love win, / But the soldier-boy whose blows / Fall on his country's foes / When the ring is pitched, the battle-field within., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The maiden aunt has masculine features and wears a bonnet and eyeglasses. A cat sits next to her, and a barrel labeled "vinegar" and a jar labeled "pickles" are nearby., Text: You dear old soul! Every day you grow old, / And your face gives comfort to the vinegar jug; / Your virtues are kept like pickles, I'm told. / Bottled up in a bosm nobody can hug; / If in glory hereafter your face becomes divine, / What a miracle must be wrought, O Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier runs admidst cannon balls. His cap has come off his head., Text: In every army, great and small, / There is a set of patent blowers, / Who of the work make out to shirk all, / And of their valiant deeds are crowers. / But let a battle once commence, / Away they travel for some tree or fence; / You find their brains too soon are addled, / And you've but to see that they've skedaddled., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits in a chair. He wears fashionable clothing, smokes a pipe, and holds a drink., Text: You're a nice man to think of a wife, / With a phiz that we laugh at round town; / We girls know how you're spending your life, / With your drink and tobacco done brown., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier puts snuff in his nose and leans his rifle against his arm. Dead soldiers lie around him, and cannonballs are in the air and on the ground., Text: To make folks think you're bold and brave, / You swear your country you will save, / And fiercely charge upon her foes, / But first you'll stop to charge your nose; -- / Like the dog that lost the rabbit. / When taken short, -- as was his habit; / This application suits me fine, / That I can't be your Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The peddler carries two cases and stands in front of a sign that reads "5 miles to [illegible].", Text: Sell your stuffs and laces, / Pedlar, and your [i.e. you're] sure to win; / But take up women's faces, / And sartin you'll be taken in. / But not at Matrimony's door-- Oh, no, / You're far too stiff to make a pleasant [illegible]., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with crooked teeth wears a gown with furbelows and stands in front of a table with portaits of men. A picture behind her features a hammer hitting a heart., Text: O! gentle Heart-breaker, I fear you; / I'll not trust my head, lest you knock it: / No desire have I to be near you; / You shan't break my heart nor pocket., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man holding a bag of money marked "$50,000." The border resembles bank note engraving., Text: You grasping Usurer, you rascally Knave, / Master of Wealth, yet still its slave! / For worlds I would not link my name with thine / For, gold can't purchase a true Valentine., Cf. Valentine 4.29., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a pair of tongs. Her face is creased, and she frowns. The sender suggests that the recipient's appearance and behavior make her an appropriate wife for the devil., Text: A scolding tongue, a vicious mind, / A face the counter part of evil, / In you we find are all combined, / To make a fit wife for the -----., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man, one half of his body shown as a white man and the other half as an African American man, lectures in front of a small table. He holds an umbrella with his African American hand, as well as wears no shoe on his African American foot., Text: Whew! don't you know that you're played out? That your occupation's gone? Why do you make such fuss about that poor old well-pick'd bone? Or are you lost, so far corrupted, You can't improve 'till re-constructed?
A man and woman walk arm in arm. He wears yellow pants and tie, and she wears a large-skirted walking dress that reveals her feet., Text: I am sure it makes the neighbors talk / To see you when you take a walk / With such a silly dressed up swain, / As no other girl would care to gain, / Although I know it makes you vain / To suceed a beau to gain. / And you no other man could win, / So must be content with him., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man grimaces and closes his eyes. His fingers are long and pointed. He wears a long red coat and a top hat., Text: It seems to be me some men are born / Who only merit wise men's scorn; / Who by mean acts well merit hate-- / Such is your kind and such your fate., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The large-nosed boarding-house keeper is very thin. She holds a thin rooster by the neck in one hand and a knife in the other; "Age 65" is written on its body. A speech bubble by her face reads "You'l do/ Old BUZZARD." A butter dish with legs and insects appear in the top left corner. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resembled Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Old mother Skinflint, I know you well, / Your species is common, and mean at that; / You think yourself able to "keep an hotel," / Which in you're too stingy to keep a cat. / Your boarders look yellow and skinny and thin, / Just like the old rooster you feed them on-- / Why don't you hang out, from your sorry inn, / The sign of the "Living Skeleton?", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman cook stands in front of a stove and holds the lid of a pot. A policeman, or "Bobby," stands behind her and says, "Pretty cookery.", Text: "Maid of Grease" how fat you, / The plainest surely of plain Cook; / To try your charms on me's no use / For you shall never cook any Goose. / Doubtless you may think it nobby / To win the notice of some 'Bobby;' / But value not his Cupboard love, / Who from cook to cook doth rove; / Lose your place and money, you / Will find you've lost your Bobby too., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man smokes a cigar and holds a glass. He wears curled, elfin shoes. The word "refreshments" appears on the wall behind him., Text: I'm thinking e'er the day is o'er, / You will slip up on ale and wine; / Alas! if you should break your head, / You'd break my heart, dear Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in a black suit stands next to a tomb stone marked "In Memory," and he looks away. A woman stands in the background., Text: You're old and ugly, and not sincere, / And your actions, sir, are very queer! / Those canting words will never do, / For none will have such a thing as you. / Dressed in black -- yet blacker heart, / You can't make me your 'better part;' / And although you cast a longing eye, / All your advances I defy., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman has devil-like horns, tail, and a blackened face. The sender criticizes the recipient for critcal speech., Text: Once women, I thought, were angels bright, / But that was when I was so very young; / Your actions have given me a clearer sight, / I find a she devil with blistering tongue., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "shoddy" military contractor is handed a $50 bill and stands in front of a barrell marked "STINKING PORK FOR U.S. ARMY from SHODDY." He says "I CAN'T SEE THAT THE PORK STINKS A BIT," and there a sign behind him that reads "SHODDY INSPECTOR OFFICE.", Text: You can't see it? No wonder you can't, / With a fifty dollar green back in your eye; / The soldier may starve-- the sailor may want, / What cares Shoddy if even they die? / He's a curse to his kind -- his country's worst bane, / Deserving the noose on the hangman's line; / But, alas, you don't get it, and to publish your shame, / Is left alone for this poor Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts the head of a woman. She wears eyeglasses, a pink cap, and a blue kerchief. The valentine criticizes older women who look for marriage., Text: In stiffly starched kerchief and cap / Just look at our funny old Grandmother, / Who in her old age strives to catch / A husband in hopes he'll take care of her., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds his hands out defensively. His hair forms devil horns, and he stands in front of a sign that reads "Theatre / The Scornful Man.", Text: You're always turning up your nose, / As if you thought yourself above me, / And all your conduct plainly shows / That you, as you scorn, you could not love me., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man with a rabbit's head. He holds a stick., Text: My dear little fellow, / You most make me laugh, / To look for a wife, / You're too timid by half., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a hand holding a large mitten. The phrase "to give the mitten" means to reject romantic partner., Text: Now you see how bad you're bitten, / Since I send you, dear, the mitten; / You'll know in the future where your place is, / And keep to yourself your native graces., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a gown that reveals her long feet and ankles. She holds a fan., Text: What though in silks and lace you shine, / And though with care are painted! / I never wish'd to make you mine, / Since first we were acquainted!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Accept your own" depicts a woman walking purposefully. Her apron and simple dress suggest that she is likely a working woman. The verse implies sexual rejection., Text: I'd scorn to keep aught that is yours, / I'd feel myself above it; / Take, then, the above, I want it not, / Nor you, nor it, I covet., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman's very long tongue encircles her body. It reads: "You ought to hear all I've got to say! You'd open your eyes!" The valentine satirizes women who gossip., Text: Of all the evils flesh is heir to, / A long tongued woman is the worst to swear to; / What with scandal and story, and malice and wrong, / She keeps the lie moving all the year long. / Never so happy as when her words wound-- / Never so unhappy as when the truth is found: / May my fate ne'er be cursed by such a tongue as thine! / I'd rather have a blast furnace to be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The soldier stands in front of a cannon and wears a gray Confederate uniform. Vanity and inaction effeminize him. L. Prang & Co. first appeared in the Boston city directory for 1863., Text: As you stand there so quietly, in repose, / No doubt you think that you are very fine. / You'd rather slaughter ladies' hearts than foes. / I'd hate to love so vain a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a tiered skirt of ruffles of decreasing size that tapers at the ankles. The style of skirt caused women to lean forward in a Grecian Bend; the Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869., Text: Dear, simpering, fascinating Miss, / It struck me that you looked like this / When last I met you on the street, / In skirt with Grecian Bend replete; / The sight which you present / Would throw the warmest lover off the scent., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A soldier runs. His jacket is red, but his belt buckle, marked "US," suggests that he is a Union soldier., Text: The man who would desert his country in her need, / Is so much lost to honor, honesty, and shame, / That after death his corpse should ravens feed -- / That all the world should e'en forget his name., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds a drink and stands in front of a bar with gin on the shelves. The bartender leans on the bar. The valentine mocks the recipient's aspirations for office and excessive drinking., Text: Blowing 'round the rumholes -- gas, gas, gas-- / Drinking poison whisky -- Oh, what an ass! / Thinking you can wheedle the mass, mass, mass: / Very good-looking, sir, but you can't pass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman walking. The text suggests that the sender will "read" the recipient now that he has read all the books in libraries and bookstores., Text: I have read every Library / And book-store through; / And, since fate decrees it, / I'll read only you., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands in profile. She wears a bonnet and a dress with a bustle. The valentine criticizes the recipient's artifice and pretensions. Bustles became popular after 1869., Text: No husband you will get, though fair, / To meet your expectations, / Unless you cease to put on airs, / And leave off affectation., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a bonnet, shawl, and a dress mended with patches. She holds a small parasol., Text: 'Tis not very handy -- of that I am sure-- / To feel what you want -- to know you are poor; / But when poverty aims airs of pride to attempt, / It only can merit our deepest contempt., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The thin schoolmaster sharpens his quill and looks away from the classroom of children. The valentine mocks him for targeting younger and smaller children because he is afraid of the older, larger ones., Text: Oh! Mighty Framer of the youthful mind! Great among the Small ones! / You spank the little ones behind, Afraid to touch the tall ones; / A sour Curmudgeon, like yourself, You'd better seek in time; / If you don't, you ugly Elf, You'll have have no Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The schoolmaster holds a book and a switch in his hands, and he stands next to a bench with a fool's cap on it. The valentine mocks the recipient for courting a younger woman., Text: How now, Master Dominio! what want you here. / I'm sure, I'm too old to be going to school; / And if you are wishing to wed me, my dear, / I'm sure you must take me to be a young fool., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The ship carpenter has a spike-shaped nose and an anchor tattoo on his hand. He hold an axe stands on a piece of wood, and a ship frame is behind him., Text: Spike nosed beauty, man of brads/ Drive the nails and fly the adze: / Big head, wide mouthed, lanky hips, / With legs just like your own spare chips, / For me in vain you thump and chop, / You'll never do for me old block., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The book-keeper stands in front of a large desk. He holds a large quill poised before the book. He resembles a horse, and he wears a patterned jacket, tie, and striped pants, which suggests that he is a dandy. The sender accuses the recipient of dishonesty., Text: How easily one can tell by your looks, / You are a blotter of ink, and a writer on books, / 'Tis very strange, though your wages are small, / You oft visit Burton's, to a trot, or a ball, / But money you'll have, no matter how ill, / If not by fair means you must rob the till., Cf. 2.4., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits with her hands on her lap. She has a carrot in her hair, perhaps suggesting that she's died it red., Text: UGLIEST of the fair creation, / With carrots for fashion on your head; / Face devoid of animation, / Your lips are blue, instead of red. / Dried and wilted are your features, / They're charmless for this heart of mine; / And if I'd wed you I would be sure / To have no rival Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows the head and shoulders of a woman in a pink, green, and yellow gown., Text: My widow you're like an old shoe, / That in its short life has ill fared; / And like it now when left all alone, / To be useful you must be re-paired., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The butcher carries a calf's head and a cow's stomach [i.e.tripe]. "Lights" means lungs. A pile of meat scraps is labeled "scrap.", Text: Butcher, butcher, paunch tripe cleaner, / Than liver and lights you are much meaner / Calves' head to calves' head see incline, / On your shoulders you carry a Valentine-- ., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The cooper holds a hammer in his hand above a barrel. Behind him are barrels and tools. He smokes a pipe and wears a top hat., Text: Pretty dear! with face just like a baboon, / And mouth more fit for the ladle than for spoon, / Hammer away, and labor at your task.... / Your empty head is emblem of your cask., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The man leans forwards and grins. He wears a blue coat and yellow plaid trousers. His hair and mutton chops are curly. Copperhead refers to northern sympathizers with Secession., Text: When, leaving the ranks of honest men, / 'Mid men of politics to snake it, / 'Twas well you chose a Copperhead, / For fear some loyal man should break it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits on a chair with an infant on his lap. A bowl marked "pap" [i.e., mashed baby food] is on the table next to him, and the infant reaches for it. The man appears to be changing the baby's diaper., Text: To rock the cradle, make the pap, / Or change the baby's linen, / I plainly see e'er long you'll be, / Much better than the women., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
