A women wears sleeping clothes and holds a candle., Text: To lounge in bed, / Is your delight, / And so I wish you / A Good Night., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman reads a sign that says " INTELI- / GENCE/ OFFICE." She holds an umbrella and circle of rope. A young man thumbs his nose behind her. The phrase "not to know B from a bull's foot" means to be completely illiterate., Text: Verdant damsel, jolly green! / Never was a simpler seen; / B from Bull's foot scarce you know, / Yet you think to catch a beau., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The bashful girl wears a ribbon in her hair. Her face is hidden by a yellow fan, and her eyes are downcast. She stands in front of a yellow settee. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Nay, cast not thy sweet eyes down, my dear, / 'Tis cruel of you thus to act; / Be they black, be they blue, be they hazel clear, / I should like to establish the fact. / But if your eyes you thus will drop, / To pick them up I cannot stop., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands in front of a bar and spills his drink onto a waiter's tray. The soldier is thin, carries a sword, and has a large head, and the other figures are much smaller., Text: You may swagger and blow, but people all know, / That you're filled up with less war than poor brandy, / that you never would fight in a bar-room or field, / But brandy could swallow quite handy. / And there's many a door that has a long score, / Chalked down to this bar-room commander, / Who never has chink -- but is ready to drink, / With each scaly looking bystander., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a gown with large sleeves and a headdress with large feathers. "Upper Ten" refers to the elite., Text: As a fair belle of Fashion, / I charm all the men, / And a husband I'll catch / 'Mongst the tall "Upper Ten.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a well-dressed white man gesturing to a seated African American man whose head, feet, and buttocks are disproportionately large. The "burs" suggest the seated man does field work, and his trousers are ragged., Text: O, massa Abolitionist! you're mighty fond of jokes, / And play em on de darkey as well as on white folks / But all your mighty promises dey neber come to pass, / And every we take your chair de burs stick in / our ---- trouserloons., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A drunken man holds a glass, and the valentine suggests that the recipient's drinking and rowdy behavior has damned him., Text: You go in for the largest liberty, / To drink, carouse, and "smash the machine." / Where will you go to when you go hence? / Straight to the Devil for his Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds a rifle and looks through the sighting mechanism. He wears a long blue coat and carries a rucksack, which suggest that he is a Union soldier., Text: No doubt, my dear friend, with your good rifled bore, / You could hit on the wing an old-fashioned barn door; / But when you attempt to pierce a girl's heart, / You will find you've attempted a difficult part. / So put down your rifle, you wall-eyed blockhead, you, / I would rather die an old maid than wed to you., "514", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man runs away from a noose. His hat has fallen off. The sender urges the recipient to avoid marriage and compares marriage, or "Hymen's knot," to death by hanging., Text: Of Hymen's knot you seem afraid, / Because it is so tightly made, / Then run away before you rue it, / For once 'tis tied you can't undo it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier with his nose in the air smokes a cigar and holds a square monocle to his eye. Two smaller soldier figures stand next to him; one is a skeleton. "Puppy" is slang for "dandy.", Text: Peace, proud puppy! would-be soldier / Can I e'er forget that we met? / Go, poor swab, go-- consult the glass, / And there you'll see a soldier ass., "93", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands with a confused expression on his face., Text: Your foolish trifling would lead one to think / That you have come quite close to dotage's brink, / And from your age I am sure it is quite plain / That you've come back to childhood's days again., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man smokes and sits with his leg on a table. A wine glass and a tankard are on the table. "Three-balls" is slang for a pawnbroker., Text: Go on, go on, with your sporting and spending, / You'll last as long as your uncle is lending; / Two chances to one, like his three-ball sign, / Your end will be at the end of a line., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The cook holds a long-handled frying pan over an oven. She is large and wears an apron., Text: Though in roast, baked, and boiled, you greatly excel, / Add your pies, tarts, and puddings, I greatly admire: / To take you for a wife, you know very well, / Would be "Out of the frying pan into the fire.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The painter paints a wall green. Mucus drips from his nose. A ladder is set up behind him. The text derides him for being a house painter rather than an artist, and for the odors that cling to him., Text: A PAINTER you! you surely jest-- / You're but a dauber at the best; / Your very breath it makes me faint, So strong it stinks of oil and paint. / What girl can love, do you suppose, / Your empty head and putty nose? / So pester me no longer, pray, / But with your stink-pot walk away., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The music teacher holds a piece of music and has her mouth open wide for singing. The sender mocks the recipient's appearance while performing., Text: You play and sign with exquisite skill, / And practice arts intended to "kill;" / Yet such expressions give to your face, / The effect is lost by lack of grace., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman leans out of a doorway looking at two men running away. She holds hair in her hand. Her facial features are large, with a blackened nose and many wrinkles. The man running closest to her appears to have lost some hair. The quoted line is from Thomas Campbell's "The Pleasures of Hope.", Text: "'Tis distance lends enchantment to the view," / And distantly all show their love to you: / Your touching manners are too much by half; / I'll send my love next time by telegraph., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Campbell, Thomas, 1777-1844. Pleasures of Hope.
The valentine depicts a Union soldier passed out on the ground with a gun and a bottle in front of him. He has white hair and noticeable warts. "Zoo-Zoo" refers to the Zouave regiments in the Civil War., Text: Dead drunk, and sleeping on the ground, / Thus, Zoo-Zoo, daily you are found; / You would your country sell or buy, / For just one horn of strong old rye. / Go hang yourself upon yon tree, / You're not the Valentine for me., "522", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A tailor rides on a goose, has a head of cabbage on his back, and holds a bat that reads "The Ninth or Lousy." "Goose" refers to a tailor's iron, and "cabbage" refers to the fabric leftover from making a garment, which tailors were often accused of stealing. "Ninth part of man" is a derogatory term for tailors, referencing the saying that nine tailors equal one man., Text: O! ninth of man, straighten up if you can, / And go get astride of your goose; / Your cabbaging art has lost you my heart, / I find all your habits are loose., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The thin secessionist wears a large hat and has two pistols and a large knife stuck in his belt. He has an arrow with a skull and crossbones label in his forehead. The text suggests that the Civil War appears to be ending or has recently ended., Text: With sallow visage, gaunt and grim, / And legs-- like TREASON'S chances-- slim, / You wander round as might a ghost / From the foul region of the lost! / Or SATAN'S self, whose pride God quelled, / When he, like you, 'gainst RIGHT rebelled! / You mourn perchance, the tale of dread / Whose opening scene was Hilton Head, / And groan, that on Secessia's shore / The stars of Freedom blaze once more. / Think you a Northern girl would mate / With such a godless reprobate!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The conceited woman wears a large skirt with furbelows and a crinoline. Her face is obscured by a purple wide-brimmed hat, and her nose is upturned. She extends her left hand., Text: There we see an old ewe, yet more like a ram, / Though a fifty-year old, she's dressed like a lamb / Both toothless and ugly, and snuffy and base, / Yet she tries to look sheepish, and soft in the face. / Dress on, mother Hecate your Stiff Crinoline / Floats flauntingly freely, abroad in the wind, / But the looks you give, and the fashions you wear, / Bids all of good sense and of manners beware., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands with closed eyes. His nose is a cannon, and he holds a rifle. Signed with a monogram: BB [?]., Text: In battle I'm sure you are brave, / And I know you never would run; / For you're fighting-- the Union to save, / And was born a son of a gun. / Your barrel is rifled, you say, / And will shoot a long distance quite straight; / But I fear at some future day; / 'Twill blow all the brains from your pate. / So I think my preference would be, / Instead of a single bored man; / A splendid back-action revolving nose, / And I'll marry one -- if I can., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The milliner wears a ball gown and an exaggeratedly large hat., Text: I am a young Milliner, / Setting my cap, / In hopes it may catch me / Some pretty young chap., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier rests on crutches, has his left arm in a sling, and is missing his right hand and left leg. His rucksack is on the crutches. Chickahominy is a Virginia river near where the Battle of Gaines' Mill took place. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: Come up to the bar, old boy-- / Come up to the bar and drink: / Did you leave your leg and arms / On Chickahominy's brink? / There's lots of your sort around-- / Young heroes in a war grown old-- / And out on the niggardly hound / Who'd leave them "out in the cold.", Variant of Valentine 12.29 and Valentine 12.30., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The Union recruit carries a musket, rucksack, canteen, powder horn, and bayonet. He appears too small to carry them all., Text: "On to Richmond!" now's the call: / Rally, rally, great and small: / Oh! by golly, how they'll scoot, / When they see you, raw recruit., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a Union soldier standing near a cannon and a pile of cannonballs. He has white hair and moustache., Text: Oh gunner bold and gunner wise, / With reddish nose and glassy eyes, / Although you can adjust your gun, / You can as well turn around and run. / I would as leave on bullets dine, / As have you for my Valentine., "511", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A large-nosed woman wears a large gown with petal-like furbelows. She holds a nosegay and walks a small dog., Text: The flower of your sex; O! yes indeed! / A flower already gone to seed, / And yet I will be prompt to say, / That you display a real nosegay., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The belle wears a red shawl and skirt with furbelows. She carries a tiny parasol, as large umbrellas were unfashionable. The valentine criticizes the belle for being too talkative., Text: Though beautiful, and formed to please, / Fair, witty, charming, gay, and young,/ I can't forget while thus I gaze,/ That every bell must have a tongue., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man lies on his back with his arms and legs up and bottom facing towards the viewer. He wears ice skates, and the ice around him has cracked. Likening him to a coin, the sender rejects the recipient for landing with his tail up., Text: A game of chance, played with a nickel, / Suggested is by your pickle; / Head or tail! -- I'll watch and see, / If I your Valentine shall be. / The Tail is up! -- the Head is down! / Your doom is sealed, your fate is known -- / Heads lose -- Tails win-- the game is mine, / Go seek another Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The secessionist holds a paper marked "Jeff Davis/ Richmond/ Plans VA." in one hand, and holds out his other hand to receive paper currency from the man standing next to him. Both wear civilian clothing. In the background, a man in a uniform observes them, suggesting that the military is aware of the recipient's traitorous actions., Text: You are the man who chuckles when the news / Comes o'er the wires, and tells of sad disaster: / Pirates on sea succeeding--- burning ships and crews, / Rebels on land marauding, thicker, aye, and faster, / You are the two-faced villian, though not very bold, / Who would barter your country for might or for gold., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The lawyer man has a fox's head and holds a scroll marked "law" in his hand. "Old Nick" is a name for the devil., Text: Noble expounder of that curse called law, / On you the Old Nick has placed his paw, / You rob your client of his hard-earned gold, / All he gets is law and that ten-fold, / You sly old Fox, with nasty books, / The thief shows plainly in your looks., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands between two women who wear restricted skirts that reveal their feet; they do not appear to be wearing bustles. He has a shocked expression as they both press leaflets to his chest. The valentine mocks women's involvement in politics and connects it with immodest and flirtatious behavior. Bustles were not in vogue between 1876 and 1883, as they were before and after those years., Text: You talk so much of what you'll do / When women have their proper show; / That for your country, in your zeal, / You would the men caress and feel; / Excuse me, if I here portray / A female politician's way., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The housemaid looks in the mirror and ties her bonnet. Her crinoline is visible through the skirt she wears, and a broom rests against a bureau. The maid probably wears her mistress's clothing. The valentine satirizes the house maid's vanity., Text: O, my missus! don't I beat her? / Ain't the pink upon me sweeter? / I should sit upon the sophy, / And Missus Jones should make the coffee., Cf. 2.13., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
While ice skating, a woman hikes up her skirt to reveal her thin legs., Text: Like broom-sticks shrunk, or small hat-pegs / One cannot call your's matchless legs; / For as the wind reveals by snatches, / One sees they're quite as thin as matches. / Vile wind that tells the story sad, / That she who skates, must also pad; / Go whisper to this lady fine, / She cannot be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a thick beard stands in front of a table. A sign that reads "Ugly Club" is behind him., Text: Each day your phiz more ugly grows, / 'T'would do first-rate to scare the crows; / Each one that sees you, verdict gives / That you're the ugliest man that lives., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The listener holds his ear to a keyhole. A woman on a staircase above him throws a vase of flowers., Text: You are one of those mean, sneaking cusses, / That are always getting people into musses; / Hated by women and despised by man. / You make yourself an ass when'er you can, / You're always trying to get hear some wondrous thing, / That some one's reputation you may sting, / Any girl of sense, with feeling fine, / Would ever scorn to be your Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The tailor has a cabbage for a head. He irons cloth and sits on a sign that reads " Cabbage, tailor, customers suited & given 'fits' or no sale." His iron, or goose, has a gooseneck handle. Cabbage refers to the cloth leftover after making a garment. This material belonged to the patron, and the valentine mocks tailors for stealing it from their customers. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: On cabbage fed, / Blue, white and red, / (What patriots are decked in), / The tailor's goose has no excuse / Its duty for neglecting. / So fed and taught, it surely ought, / Its nest of broadcloth rolled in, / No eggs e'er lay, by night or day / But the heaviest of golden., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in gown with a bustle holds an umbrella and bouquet of flowers. "Three-balls" is slang for a pawnbroker. Bustles became popular after 1869., Text: A Mantilla from your shoulder falls / Just redeemed from the three-balls; / In the street you make a dash, / 'Tis strange how you obtain the cash. / You're too lazy, and fear to work / You dirty, nasty little flirt; / Stay at home-- not gad the street, / And speak to every loafer you meet., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman looks at a cap that she holds. Behind her is another woman who wears a similar cap., Text: Cap-maker, at your task you sit, / Wond'ring what head your cap will fit, / And if the locks that round it twine, / May ornament your Valentine. / Ply your trade with industry, / And 'tis possible there'll be, / Of the men your caps will cover, / Some poor fool to be your lover., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman who stands with her arms folded. Her dress reveals much of her breasts. Her face is heavily shaded with thick eyebrows and dark hair., Text: No paint, nor powder, needs that skin of thine / Shroud not thy beauty in goods of cost, / For only know, my beat'ous Valentine, / Beauty, when unadorned's adorned the most., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The saddler sits at his work bench and hammers a nail into a riding saddle. Behind him are stirrups., Text: I've not the pleasure or wish to know / More than I do of my saddle-beau: / A bit of true wisdom heed while young -- / Stir-up your brains and bridle your tongue., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Two Zouave Union soldiers run among rifles, pistols, cannons, and cannonballs, one of which is marked rum., Text: Zu-Zu, you made a splendid run, / From Bull-Run fight, to Washington. / By Bully Runners e'er so fleet; / Your feats of legs such wonders/ raised, / That every one has stood amazed. / So, Coward Recreant, Renegade, / Your Valentine I'll not be made., Cf. Valentine 11.49 and Valentine 12.1., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A smiling woman holding her baby as she looks him. The baby holds a mallet up in the air and has his finger in his mouth. The valentine mocks the ill-behaved baby and his parents' misplaced affection for him., Text: Papa's pride-- "de yittle beauty / "Mamma's comfort," cross it may be, / Like his Papa-- "ain't he pooty,"/ Crowing, screaming, blessed baby., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The china merchant wears a red coat with tails, a cravat, and trousers. He has an exaggerated, long nose and bucked teeth. He sits over a table with numerous pieces of china, including wine glasses, vases, mugs, and jugs., Text: With what an intellectual face, / This crockery dealer here we trace -- / Like his china, how he glistens, / When he finds a soul that listens. / Booby, take your wares and glass / Out of sight -- don't be an ass; / If a Valentine you wish, / View yourself in every dish., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a narrrow-skirted gown, cape, ermine muff, and bonnet. The sender suggests that he remembers the recipient negatively. A "fancy fair" was a fundraising event at which ornaments and articles of fancy were sold for charitable purposes., Text: I met her at a Fancy Fair -- / Would I had never ventured there! / Her image doth my mind possess, / But not with fancy fair, I guess!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier cocks his head. He has long mutton chops and carries a sword., Text: Wherefore with hat cocked on one side defiantly, / Smile so complacent, and swaggering stride, / Passing civilians with scornfulness giantly, / Haunt you the streets in your hairy-faced pride? / Doubtless you think there's a wonderful charm in / Your sword and your spurs and your jaunty chapeau, / But not to kill ladies our heroes are arming, / "Eyes right!" my dear fellow, and charge on the foe., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wearing ice skates has multiple pairs of legs, which indicate that they are moving quickly. Four men observe him. "Monkey shines" means monkey-like antics., Text: Brisk as a flea, as lightning flashes, / Quickly you make the grasshopper dashes-- / Hic, presto, change! now here, now there; / We cannot find you anywhere-- / But know a fool is in the middle, / And thus I solve your icy riddle. / From those that cut up monkey shines, / We do not choose our Valentines., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a soldier spearing a cat with a bayonet. Another cat stands on the doorframe., Text: Oh! what a brave heroic man!! indeed it is pity / No other foe is near to charge, but a ferocious kitty! / Your patriotism you should curb, don't let your fury loose, / Perchance, before the battle's over, you'll meet a poor old goose. / You're very brave in times of peace, with bayonet and gun, / But should you see the foe in front, good gracious, how you'd run., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The barkeeper pours liquor from one glass into another as he stands at a bar. The sender rejects the recipient and suggests that he has no money, intellect, or heart., Text: You dashing, dressy Barkeeper, for a dandy you would pass, / As with your most exquisite grace you handle well you glass; / But your brains are like your liquors, the more they are display'd / The more they show the frothy stuff of which your drink are made. / I know you flourish very gay, and talk like men of spunk, / But when you're dress'd to death, I'd like to peep into your trunk, / For it is my opinion, sir, that, if I should you wed, / I'd find your trunk and pockets both as empty as your head!, Cf. Valentine 13.17., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wearing a dress with a bustle stands in front of a chest. Over it hangs a sign that says "Election Laws," and she holds a piece of paper over a pot, presumably to vote. A carriage is visible through the doorway. Bustles became popular after 1869., Text: Since, in this progressive age, / Woman's Suffrage is all the rage, / You strive in this to take the lead, / As if 'twere a case of vital need; / When you thus seek among the men to roam, / We're apt to think there's something wrong-- at home., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The boot and shoe maker sits at his work area and attaches the leather to the sole of the shoe. He smokes a pipe, and his posture and expression suggest sadness. A tankard is on the table next to him. A cloth (possibly a handkerchief) hangs next to the boots and shoes are on the wall behind him., Text: O! you are boot-iful, yet wax not wroth, / If I say you're the last man on the earth / That I would permit my all to control, / Or join in the wedlock of soul with sole., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
