A woman wears a tiered skirt of ruffles of decreasing size that tapers at the ankles. The style of skirt caused women to lean forward in a Grecian Bend; the Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869., Text: Dear, simpering, fascinating Miss, / It struck me that you looked like this / When last I met you on the street, / In skirt with Grecian Bend replete; / The sight which you present / Would throw the warmest lover off the scent., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
An elaborately dressed man stands by a tree. Two women in bonnets and shawls are facing away from him., Text: Dear sir, having considered your suit, / When to know the result you’re inclined, / You will learn from my dear brothers boot / The final resolve of my mind., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
The valentine shows two men. One reclines with his mouth open, and the other stands above him about to pull a tooth out. Both men have disheveled hair and pained expressions., Text: A Dentist here makes teeth of bone / For those whom Fate has left without; / And finds provision for his own / By pulling other people's out., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
An older woman sits reading to three small children. The text suggests that she vents her frustrations at being unmarried on the children., Text: Deserted old damsel, so prim and demure, / You have lost all your hopes for a husband at last; / When you refused, and you now must endure, / Your old maidish thoughts and regrets for the past. / Sour tempered old dame whose only delight, / Is to tease the poor children who are put in your care; / On them vent your spleen if they are not quite right, / And to vex and annoy them as much as you dare., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A soldier runs. His jacket is red, but his belt buckle, marked "US," suggests that he is a Union soldier., Text: The man who would desert his country in her need, / Is so much lost to honor, honesty, and shame, / That after death his corpse should ravens feed -- / That all the world should e'en forget his name., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman carrying a small red parisol wears a gown with large yellow skirt with furbelows., Text: Yes, there she is; and it's no use talking, / I've seen the Devil in the street walking; / I thought they were chain'd in bonds superhuman, / This is hooped up just like a woman., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a woman with two faces. One smiles, has regular features, and holds out her hand. The other rages, has pointed features, and shakes her fist., Text: So, so, here we have you unmasked, / The truth is too plain to be asked; / Full of scandal, and always lying, / Constantly your tongue is flying; / You backbite the very best of friends, / And injure all to make your ends., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a dress with a narrow skirt and train and neither a crinoline nor a bustle. "Rag and tag" refers to the damage done to the trains of the skirts from walking in the streets. Crinolines were out of fashion in the late 1860s, and then bustles were in vogue. Bustles went out of fashion between 1876 and 1883., Text: Devoid of useless crinoline. / She moves majestic as a queen, / In sweeping robe and drooping bonnet / With many a rag and tag upon it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A maid polishes a pair of boots. The valentine plays on the words work and play to suggest that the maid is promiscuous., Text: Dirty, ugly, vulgar, pert, / So begrimed with grease and dirt, / I vow that I should be afraid of, / Seeing what that maid is made of, / Tho’ call’d maid of all work! They / Say you’re often made of play, / And when with sweethearts you’ve your swing / The maid is quite a different thing!, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A thin man sits in a washtub. He holds a large bar labeled "Soap.", Text: Go wash yourself! You dingy whelp, / With grime and filth you’re fairly blue; / Take lots of soap and pumice-stone, / The dirt has struck you thro’ and thro’ / And if to lose so much in weight / Should make you thin, or give you cold, / Console yourself, for what comes off / Can for manure be quickly sold!, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A woman frowns and has a thin, wrinkled face. She wears a gown with a full skirt with furbelows and a very thin waistline. She sits on a sofa and rest her face on her hand; the object near her face is possibly a handkerchief. The valentine suggests that the recipient expected matrimony, but was disappointed., Text: Counting chickens ere their hatching / You found fatal to your matching; / Disappointed, now you linger, / Scored by Time's unsparing finger., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a man with a dog's head. He wears boxing gloves labeled "insant death" and "six months illness.". He also wears a monocle and a top hat, which suggest that he is a "puppy," or dandy. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Do you think you ugly man, / Because you're like a black-and-tan, / And a hitter from the shoulder-joint likewise, / That on you the blooming girls, / With their fascinating curls, / Will glance with approbation in their eyes / If you do you're much mistaken, / For it's just as sure as bacon / No fighter can a woman's true love win, / But the soldier-boy whose blows / Fall on his country's foes / When the ring is pitched, the battle-field within., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The doctor stands in profile, holding a bottle labeled "mercury." He wears a top hat, trousers, and a coat with tails, and a large syringe hangs from his trousers., Text: All sickness and ills, you say, you can cure / By your all-healing garble and pill; / You relieve them from pain : of this I'm quite sure; / For, if you can't cure, you can kill., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
"Dr. Bleedems Office" appears on a sign behind the doctor, who stands holding a three-pronged knife in one hand and a saw in the other. The valentine mocks doctors who use unnecessary procedures to make money., Text: With probe, and saw, and lancet, / With plasters, purges and pukes, / You cut your way to favor / With duchesses and dukes; / But, you may saw into a fortune, / And probe into a mine, / Before I'd see in your ugly phiz / Anything worth this Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears battle armor made of household objects. He wears a pot as a helmet, brush bristles for epaulets, a lid for a breast plate, and red cannisters over his arms. He carries a broom and a poker from a fire place. Over his pants, he wears crinoline. The valentine satirizes draft dodgers as ridiculous and effeminate., Text: You boast of valor, pluck and grit, / And strong love of the Union -- / You're just the boy to dodge the draft, / And fir for a sneak's communion. / All decent girls view you with scorn, / And treat you with contempt; / When noble men are called for, / You're just fit to be exempt!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a tall, thin man kneeling as he holds a baby. He prepares food on a spider pan over a candle. The valentine suggests that the man is weak and child-like, and his wife is an abuser of both him and the baby., Text: Don't strike and thump him, baby Dick, / Leave 'ma to hit him many a lick; / 'Tis her he fears, not you, who squall, / He trembles so, he'll let you fall -- / Poor, shivering, nussing skeleton, / With cuffs for teaching, when he's done., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits at a desk in front of a window. He is using a lamp and a loupe to see the object he is engraving. A moon with a face is visible in the window behind him., Text: Dost think to win some fair enslaver / With that grave face and tool that's GRAVER, / I'll teach your skill another trick / Instead of WOOD to cut your STICK, / A lover never shall be mine / Who might EN-GRAVE his Valentine., "No. 57", Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A young man sits in a chair., Text: You sleepy headed numskull, go home and take a snooze, / When you go to see the girls, they think you’re full of booze. / As vain as any weather-cock, you know not how to talk, / Nor can you take a slight hint, when you’re told it’s time to walk. / You ought to be a baker’s boy, for now wherever you go, / The girls all laugh at such a calf, and say your head is dough., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman sewing a dress. Both the woman's dress and the one she sews have red bodices and yellow skirts, but the one she sews has a lower neckline and shorter sleeves. The sender mocks the recipient for her status as a single woman., Text: My ugly old maid, how sad is your lot, / To work on some fine wedding gown, / And know all the while, live as long as you may, / You'll never have one of your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The dress maker wears the paper forms used to make a dress pattern. Her sleeves say "sleeve latest style" and "sleeve pattern." The dress bodice says "body pattern front" and "saque front pattern," and the skirt says "le mode de paris," and "cored skirt pattern." She stands in front of a store window that reads "Madame Slasher from Paris. Dress maker/ Parisian fits." Hickory shirts were worn by workers, and the valentine uses provincialisms to mock the dressmaker's pretensions., Text: Be jabers, its a useful insitution that ye are, / Wid yer 'gores," an' "waists," an' "boddice, an' skirts / An' if I had a few dirt paper collars to spare, / I'd try ye wid a dozen of good hickory shirts. / Do you stick up your nose at the shirts? Bellamalee. / Jist the thing! I'm after a lady so mighty fine / She'll be one thing to the public but another to me, / And won't I be illigant as her own Valentine!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a female figure whose neck and torso are a cabbage. Cabbage refers to the material leftover from making a garment. The valentine suggests that dressmakers steal it to make their own clothing., Text: Of all our modern goddesses / None greater is than she; / Who o'er the robes and boddices / Rules arbitrarily., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a dry goods clerk standing behind a counter. A much smaller woman faces him. A pair of gloves and bolt of fabric are on the counter. "Tin" is slang for money, and the sender mocks the recipient's financial status, suggesting that he would have to steal from the till to have enough money for a proper Valentine offering., Text: Just brains enough to measure tape, / And base enough to lie; / You're born to measure calico, / And leer in Woman's eye. / But when I want a Valentine, / I'll call and let you know, / That you may steal enough of "tin," / To make a proper show., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman and a man facing each other across a counter. He holds out a yellow piece of fabric for her to examine., Text: Sir Foppleton Frisk of folded shreds, / Silks, Satins, Laces, Cottons, Threads, / How oft I say "oh! did I ever," / My heart breathes quickly "No I never.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a large smiling woman holding a tankard of lager beer and a pretzel. The verse mocks Pennsylvania Deutsch (i.e., Pennsylvania German) women and their accents., Text: Mein leben schotze, I loaf you so, / So much as dat you never know; / Mit you I could be happy here, / Mit pretzels, you, und lager bier., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a beard smokes a long pipe. The text mocks the man for his accent and incomplete command of English, and for his dirty, crowded living situation., Text: Smoking your pipe, your likeness is here, / Mine Sour Krout friend, mid der larger bier, / In vone small room, yourself and vrow. / With nine children sleep -- besides a cow-- / And with all these dare’s drouble in de house, / Yaw -- dat is nice -- Nix cum rouse., Provenance: Helfand, William H.
The valentine depicts a wrinkled woman sitting in front of a mirror. In front of her is a bottled labeled "hair dye." The valentine mocks older single women who dye their hair and portrays them as desperate for matrimony., Text: Now Time has stolen all your charms, / (If any existed not sure am I,) / To win a husband to your arms / Your only resource now to dye., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman's figure has two heads. One is smiling and says "My love to you, dear ," while the other has a forked tongue and says "Bad luck to the wretch." The text translates roughly to: "Cheers, Sir. Oh, how polite, to indulge us with the privilege of your presence, if I see the man I'd like to stick a pincer in his guts." The valentine suggests the recipient's words mask malicious intentions., Translation: "Cheers, Sir. Oh, how polite, to indulge us with the privilege of your presence, if I see the man I'd like to stick a pincer in his guts.", Text: Wohl bekomm’s mein Herr / Ach, wie artig, uns die Ehre / Ihres Besuches zu gönnen, / Wenn ich den Menschen sehe / Möcht icht eine glückende Zange / In seine Eingeweiden umkehren., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows an elephant ice skating (and smoking). He wears a blue jacket and green pants and carries a walking stick. The sender rejects the recipient because of his weight., Text: I've heard fat men singing, / I'm told of their swimming, / I've seen them in various states -- / I've known of their dancing, / And ogling and glancing, / But ne'er have I seen one on skates. / I always am laughing, / When fat men I'm chaffing, / Who think that it will be my fate -- / It sets me tee-heeing, / A Valentine being, / To an elephant trying to skate., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A maid wearing an apron is holding a bed-warmer. The word "empty" is written over her head. The valentine suggests that her lack of brains means she is condemned to a life a menial tasks., Text: The reason why you don’t get on in life-- / Is the Sending of the Valentine to you a hollow mockery?, Cf. Valentine 14.42., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
An elaborately dressed man leans back in a chair and smokes a cigar. The word 'empty" is written over his head. His clothes and the position of his hand suggest he is a dandy. The sender mocks the recipient's concentration on outward appearances., Text: The reason why you don't get on in life-- / Is the Sending of the Valentine to you a hollow mockery?, Cf. Valentine 14.41., Provenance: Helfand. William H..
The valentine shows the Devil holding a pitchfork with a woman on the top over a fire. The devil has hairy legs, cloven feet, and four points on his head. The valentine suggests that the "old maid" is damned for failing to marry and procreate., Text: Oh! what a very sorry sight it is, / To see an aged lady still a Miss, / To know that single she must live and work, / And in the end be toasted on a fork., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man clings to a steam train's chimney with a frowning human face. Another man holds a flag in the background. The valentine possibly comments on sexual ethics., Text: Over the break-necks fiendlike plunging, / Car'less what ill you may entail, / If you're not cautious with your engine, / We'll ride you on another rail!, Cf. 3.37., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man clings to a steam train's chimney with a frowning human face. Another man holds a flag in the background. The valentine possibly comments on sexual ethics., Text: Over the break-necks fiendlike plunging, / Car'less what ill you may entail, / If you are not cautious with your engine, / We'll ride you on ANOTHER RAIL!, Cf. 3.36., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a gown with a red bodice and yellow skirt with furbelows. She holds up her hand and points her finger. The valentine criticizes the woman for her mean-spirited envy of others., Text: Who cannot look pleased at her neighbor's good, / But devours in secret the bitter food / That lean-faced detraction spreads on her board, / Will be marked out herself to be abhor'd!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a plaid gown with a low neckline that reveals her breasts. Her crinoline billows up, revealing her petticoat. She pulls back a yellow blanket, possibly before getting into bed. The text suggests that she is sexually promiscuous., Text: You shall not sigh your hours away, / For you're the gayest of the gay; / You love the concert and the dance, / Life's pleasures they so much enhance. / Full many a stricken, ardent beau, / Has oft' pronounced that you're not slow, / You do the warmth of love excite, / And charm me with hope of fond delight., Cf. Valentine 5.41., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man is seated in a cart pulled by a running horse. Two ships are in the background, one with a steam engine, and one with masts and sails. The valentine implies that the recipient presses the sender to engage in premarital sex. The sender rejects him because she does not believe he will marry her., Text: G'lang ole hoss -- high up, my spunky one! / Show 'em you'll do it -- can't you, though -- get on! / Allow me, sir, to interrupt you, -- do: / And, as you are, I will be EXPRESS, too; / I can't be pressed to favor your address, / And trust you'll make your pressing suit EX-PRESS., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man on ice skates has long mutton chops and holds a walking stick, suggesting that he is a dandy. The valentine encourages enlistment in the Union army and mocks the recipient's unmanly interest in dress and ice skating., Text: Faint-hearted youth! you talk of skating, / And call the sport quite animating; / You say there's nothing half so bracing; / There's naught the manly form so gracing, / As through the icy maze to twine. / But hark! your country's voice is calling, / Treason all her hopes is thralling; / 'Tis manlier games men now delight in, / For God and Liberty they're fighting; / From these I'll seek my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits in front of a counter with bolts of fabric on it. She wears a bonnet, shawl, and dress with furbelows. A clerk holds up fabric behind the counter. The valentine urges the woman to restrain her spending., Text: Vain, prodigal woman, in jewels and dress, / Your delight is your money to spend, / But remember this, though your purse may be long, / It sometime must come to an end., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A frowning woman wears a yellow gown and holds a small parasol., Text: Full many a fair flower, not half so fair as you, / Has been plucked in early springtime, when fresh with morning's dew, / And you alone, neglected, have been carelessly passed by, / And now, when old and faded, you are left to droop and die., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man in a green and red uniform looks into a tube, possibly a gun or cannon. He holds a monocle over his eye, carries a walking stick, and has long hair, suggesting that he is a dandy. The sender criticizes the recipient for posing as a soldier and suggests that he is effeminate., Text: Your swashing gate and vacant stare, / Pleased fools in times of peace, / But since afraid to go to war, / Put off the duds and cease., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A farmer gives grain to a small bird. He has moles and errant facial hairs. The valentine puns on the meanings of green and implies that the recipient is inexperienced and a bad farmer., Text: A farmer's life's the life for me, / A farmer's lad I mean to be; / So sweet to go, at early morn, / And give the little chicks their corn; / To milk the pigs, and shear the cows, / And see the 'punkins' on the boughs; / To gaze on all the lovely scene, / And be, just like the landscape, green., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A farmer stands in a field holding a scythe. The sender considers farmwork dirty., Text: You pigheaded, grinning, ugly brute, / Go look after the pigs and the sheep; / For they are the only companions you’ll suit -- / No girl would your company keep. / You smell too much of horse and swine, / For any maiden to be thine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The farmer's wife stands next to a large pig. A butter churn is behind her. The valentine mocks her for being overweight., Text: A charming life is a farmer's life; / And ain't you in luck to be his wife? / He feeds and fats you just like his pig, / And loves as much when you're twice as big., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man driving a carriage and says, " Don't I feel nobby now I keeps my own carriage?" "Nobby" is slang for smart or elegant., Text: They say you feel so proud of heart, / Because you keep a donkey cart; / One thing tho' you should bear in mind, / "Fellow feeling makes us kind," / Therefore you sometimes might change places / With the Donkey in the traces., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows an overweight woman with ringlet curls. Her gown is low cut., Text: "Fat, fair and forty," I have heard / As terms of half praise; on my word / I could not say the same of you, / Fat, ugly, lazy, is too true., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier's head is shaped like a bomb, and his mouth is a smoking fuse. He stands next to a cannon. The title references the fairytale Jack and the beanstalk. The valentine mocks the soldier for his unappealing bad temper., Text: Who'd marry a man with a head like a bomb, / And a mouth with a smoking fusee? / What woman with him her life would trust, / For his head might at any moment burst, / And then, where would she be?, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The woman has a snake's body and a pointed tongue., Text: Deceitful reptile! vain thy every art-- / To captivate my eye, or charm my heart; / For even change your skin, you'd be, at last, / Nought but what now you are-- a snake in the grass., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A bearded musician plays a violin. He is standing in front of a music stand. "Catgut" means a thick cord made from sheep intestines used for violin strings. The valentine mocks his lack of skill and suggests that he deserves to endure the punishment he inflicts on his neighbors., Text: “Music hath charms to sooth the breast,” / But cat-gut scraping spoils our rest. / Morning and night in neighbor’s spite, / You murder time and tune outright! / Your torture that poor old violin, / ‘t’ill the hottest place we wish you in!, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A young, fashionably dressed woman stands in front of a sign that reads "Lisping grammar" and "Geography of dancing." Her hair is curled, and she curtsies, revealing her crossed feet, crinoline, and petticoat hem. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches." The valentine associates the girl with France and mocks her impractical education., Text: In the language of France, / And its dress, and its dance, / I presume you are quite proficient; / But I doubt that, my dear, / You the oven could clear / When the time came for putting a dish in 't., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a fireman running. He wears a large hat and blows a fire trumpet. The valentine mocks the recipient's inability to get a Valentine., Text: There you go --- now aint it fine/ To halloo after our ENGINE? / How can you, my boy, be steady, / When to run to fires--- so ready? / You think you cut a mighty shine, / And yet can't get --- a Valentine!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
