The valentine shows a fireman straddling a firehose. He smokes a cigar. The sender mocks the recipient's womanizing, drinking, and fixation on fire fighting, and urges him to settle down. "Mose" is the name of the fireman in Benjamin Baker's play New York as it is., Text: Mose loves nothing so well as a fire, / Except it be women and wine; / If I love Mose it is with a desire / To make Mose open his eyes and eye her / Who loves nothing so well as a VALENTINE., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Baker, Benjamin A., 1818-1890. New york as it is.
The fireman blows a fire trumpet and wears parade dress. His hand is in a bucket from which a hose extends. The valentine mocks his rowdy behavior., Text: A fuller fledged rowdy, sure, never was seen, / Than you as you dash along with "der masheen;" / You hoot, and you howl, you shout, and you bellow / I'm sure I never saw so horrid a fellow., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A fireman pulls a running hose towards him and fails to turn it towards the fire behind him. The valentine uses slang and provinicialisms to mock the fireman and suggest that he will not attract any women., Text: Oh! what a "gallus" Fireman, / To run "wid der Machine; " / To "take de butt," or pick a muss / None better e'er was seen, / But do not think a decent girl / As a "Lize" would wish to shine : / Or be unto a Loafer! / A loving Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A smirking woman holding a small purse waves a handkerchief over her shoulder. The valentine suggests that a woman who flirts with many men will be a bad wife., Text: You're like a fair young rose bush, / Where each beau plucks a rose, / 'Till nought but thorns are left behind, / To prove the husband's woes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A large-nosed woman wears a large gown with petal-like furbelows. She holds a nosegay and walks a small dog., Text: The flower of your sex; O! yes indeed! / A flower already gone to seed, / And yet I will be prompt to say, / That you display a real nosegay., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union military drummer carries a rucksack and a large snare drum on his side. The valentine criticizes the soldier's bad behavior before the war., Text: Folks do say, my little drummer, / That once you were a perfect bummer; / Made your living gathering junk, / And spent your money getting drunk. / If this be so, young friend of mine, / You'll never make a Valentine., "509", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The fop wears a large, triangular frock coat, top hat, gloves, and thin trousers. His hair is curled, and he carries a switch cane., Text: A shining black hat, and glossy shirt collar, / A coat, pants and vest of cut most divine, / A little switch cane, you really would make for / Your tailor, a beautiful traveling sign., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman cries and sits with her elbows on a table. The final line of the text is a popular saying., Text: Why so pensive, dear? wipe those tears from thy eyes, / Throw care to the winds, and look gay, as you ought; / Remember this motto, that there is, my dear, / "As good fish in the sea, as ever was caught.", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with prominent teeth wears a frock coat, waistcoat, and trousers. "Loathsome weed" refers to tobacco., Text: There you stand with mouth all reeking / With the juice of loathsome weed, / Shocking every ear when speaking. / In all vileness taking the lead., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a large woman sitting in a chair. She holds a cup near a pitcher. Her dress is hiked up to reveal her boots. The valentine condemns swearing women., Text: Horror of horrors, a foul mouth'd woman, / Shows the depth of degradation; / She should be struck from the race call'd human / And rank'd with the brute creation., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The lawyer man has a fox's head and holds a scroll marked "law" in his hand. "Old Nick" is a name for the devil., Text: Noble expounder of that curse called law, / On you the Old Nick has placed his paw, / You rob your client of his hard-earned gold, / All he gets is law and that ten-fold, / You sly old Fox, with nasty books, / The thief shows plainly in your looks., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man wears an open red shirt, apron, and a top hat with a brick on it. His apron has a triangular symbol of freemasonry on it. He sticks out his tongue and holds a leveling triangle and bricklaying trowel. "Morgan" refers to William Morgan, whose disappearance in 1826 fueled the Anti-Masonic movement. The valentine criticizes free masons for profligacy and neglecting their duties to their children., Text: Go, you poor devil of Morgan fame, / Closet yourself up to hide your shame, / Spend all your money like a poor drone, / Leaving your little ones starving at home., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits in a chair. He wears fashionable clothing, smokes a pipe, and holds a drink., Text: You're a nice man to think of a wife, / With a phiz that we laugh at round town; / We girls know how you're spending your life, / With your drink and tobacco done brown., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman with pointed, enlongated features and crossed eyes., Text: I do not fear ghosts. I have no dread / Of those who in churchyards stalk; / Yet I would not wish to see your head. / Start up in my lonely walk., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands with an ace and a spade card on each shoulder. He holds a case in one hand and a bag of gold in the other. Faro was a popular 19th-century card game. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: Gay "gambolier," [i.e gambler] what brings you here / With your faro chips and aces? / Crawl back, again, to your smoky den, / Wherein your proper place is. / Half-swell, half-rough, the air you snuff / For simpletons belated, / Who, in the light, would hardly bite / At hooks with tinsel belated., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a man with "impudence" on a band across his forehead. His cheeks are puffed up, and he holds a bag labeled "gas" to his mouth., Text: You've an impudent brow, / A face full of brass; / No cash in your pocket, / And puff'd up with gas., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man's head is attached to a barrel of gin. He is smoking an oversized cigar. The valentine criticizes the recipient's overconsumption of alcohol and tobacco and their poor effects on his health., Text: You pasty-faced unwholesome lout, / You’re always soaked with rotten gin, / And smell so rank of vile cigars, / To strangle you would be no sin. / You’ve drank and smoked until you’ve grown / A dried-up mummy lank and thin, / A sample of the dire effects / Of bad tobacco mixt with gin., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
The glazier carries a lattice and panes of glass on his back and says, "Shall I put it in? Marm.", Text: With brain made of Putty and body of Glass, / That each one may see thro' a contemtible [i.e. contemptible] ass; / Saluting each window with leecherous grin, / And asking each female "may I put it in?" / By such a proceeding now what would she gain / For you're only to put in a PANE? / Your deeds are transparent, so pray you incline, / To MEND if you can, my dull Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sits at a table eating. His mouth is red and large with visible teeth. A cat with visible rib bones sits by his feet., Text: Detested wretch, thou beast with hungry maw, / Mouth like a grave, and ass's under jaw, / If thou could'st have thy wish at thy command, / There'd be speedy famine in the land. / Look at you're [i.e. your] cat, who anxious waits for food, / Whilst through her skin her bones almost protrude; / Thy Valentine for worlds I would not be, / Lest, Glutton as thou art, you should eat me., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The drum major wears a large hat and holds a batton. "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat"] was a term for soldiers who shirked their duties., Text: Go it, Drum Major, now's your chance, / High in the air make your baton dance; / Friend of the ladies, let me kiss you, / If you should die, oh how I'll miss you. / My eyes with tears would ne'er stop running -- / You old D.B., I'm only funning., "516", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier rides a horse with his feet are out of the stirrups, his scabbard empty, and his mouth open and frowning., Text: Go it, skedaddler, what a queer sight, / To see a brave (?) soldier run off from a fight; / Whenever you hear there's a sign of a battle, / Your kneepans and toes together do rattle. / The best friends you have they are now getting soured, / On seeing you are such an absolute coward., "518", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A cook wearing a bonnet holds a pot on a stove. She has a long pointed nose. The Valentine suggests she is too ugly to find love., Text: Goddess of the fries and stews, / To court the male sex ‘tis no use; / Your nose I’m sure is only fit / To make a kitchen roasting spit; / Then cut your foolish ways, pray do, / I’ll ne’er have a Valentine like you., Signed: Pickering., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A man kneels before a stone tomb. On top of it is a barrel marked "Gold." The barrel is shaded, and the front of the tomb is yellow., , Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A stout man has an inflated torso with "GOLD $100,000,000" written across it. The border features a woman embracing; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arate characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: The man who is made of money / Need never be pleasant nor funny, / Nor handsome, nor winsome, nor good, / Nor with piety deeply imbued. / He may go through the world as he pleases, / Caring not how he elbows and squeezes; / He may duty despise or forget; / He may bluster and bully; and yet / Folks will say he's as sweet as honey-- / Because he is made of money., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a wine glass and a bottle of wine and frowns. A picture of a man hangs behind her. The valentine critiques women who drink as being dishonorable and possibly unchaste., Text: Good advice to somebody; indeed, I think, / The advice is plain to understand: / Flee at once from a woman who loves to drink, / Her honor is like a rope of sand., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a cracked bell as a bonnet, and her tongue is the bell's clapper. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: Oh! you're a bell (without the e) / All tongue, and brass, and clatter, / A ring exchanged with you would be / A very serious matter. / Dinnerless I would go, for a long spell, / Rather than be rung in by such a bell!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts the head of a woman. She wears eyeglasses, a pink cap, and a blue kerchief. The valentine criticizes older women who look for marriage., Text: In stiffly starched kerchief and cap / Just look at our funny old Grandmother, / Who in her old age strives to catch / A husband in hopes he'll take care of her., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The grandmother wears a poke-bonnet and shawl. The valentine mocks older women who pursue younger men., Text: I'm a lonely Grandmother, / And want a young beau, / To nurse and caress me / As older I grow., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man sitting at a table holds a bag marked "50,500." More bags fill a bin on the table marked "CASH." A letter holder is mounted on the wall behind him., Text: You grasping Usurer, you rascally Knave, Master of Wealth, yet still its slave! / For worlds I would not link my name with [thine] : For, gold can't purchase a true / Valentine., Cf. Valentine 4.30., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man holding a bag of money marked "$50,000." The border resembles bank note engraving., Text: You grasping Usurer, you rascally Knave, / Master of Wealth, yet still its slave! / For worlds I would not link my name with thine / For, gold can't purchase a true Valentine., Cf. Valentine 4.29., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A frowning man wears a red waistcoat and a green frock coat. The valentine mocks the recipient for being large and deficient., Text: Believe me when I say I've always thought / That you were simply nothing -- a big naught; / I'd like to know what 't'is you want a wife for, / For she would nothing gain except a cypher., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A boy wears a short coat, ruffled collar, and high pants. He carries books and a slate with arithmetic sums written on it., Text: Unlettered dunce, with shining morning face, / Creeping unwillingly to school with snail-like pace -- / Like postage stamps, requiring much licking / Before you to your letters will be sticking., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A grocer stands at a counter and holds a piece of food. Behind him is a pile with rounds marked "cheese", "live", and "oil." On the other side of the counter stands a small child and a container marked "sour milk." The valentine accuses the recipient of selling rotten foods., Text: You doubly green old grocer, go, / With teeth blue as your indigo; / Your milk's as sour as your face, / Your cheeks hang down in mouldy grace, / Where pimple worms sport round with ease, / Just like the maggots in your cheese; / Your foul meats, like your green eyes, shine, / You carrion of a Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A group of men are walking in the street. They wear coats and tophats and have elaborately styled facial hair. Several of the men link arms and one lifts his top hat on a cane. A moon in the sky is smiling., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A Union calvalryman rides a donkey. He has a sword and spurs. The valentine suggests that his appearance does not match his abilities., Text: Ha, ha! don't you think you're brave? / No officer e'er looked bolder / But, all who march with you, / Think the asses head should be upon your shoulder., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a dress with furbelows and a bustle. The valentine suggests that she is not a beauty, but attracts male attention when she is the only woman out at night. Bustles became popular after 1869., Text: O! you are the handsomest---all the beaux swear / That for beauty you top the heap; / I think you so too when you're taking the air, And all the rest are asleep., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands in front of an almshouse with "releiving overseer deficit" written on it. In the background four people stand together; a woman holds a baby and a small child, and a man hunches forward onto a cane. "Overseer" is short for the "overseer of the poor," or the public servant who provides services to the poor., Text: Hard of Heart! the poor are flying; / At the sight of you their faint hearts bleed: / You callous wretch! you are denying / The mercy you will some time need., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A harness maker is seated in his workshop. "Harness repared' is written on the wall behind him and a crate marked "Beer" is filled with bottles., Text: You wretched old chap! You’re not worth a rap / You can’t sew a strap, so that it won’t snap: / You steal every scrap you can, but, mayhap / The Devil will clap you ‘fore long in his trap, / Old Chap!, Provenance: Helfand, William H..
An Irish woman wears a cap and has bucked yellow teeth. She holds a toaster rack as if it were a harp. Above her is written "Harp of Erin," which is a symbol for Ireland. The text suggests that after she sings, the rack/harp will take on new symbolism as a body, and she'll grill meat on its "buzzum" [i.e., bosom]., Text: Sweet harp of me counthry, in sadness I touch thee, / To strains that are plainitive, though ould as the hills, / And bime by when me song is sung out, I will clutch thee, / And brile on thy buzzum some beautiful grills!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man grimaces and closes his eyes. His fingers are long and pointed. He wears a long red coat and a top hat., Text: It seems to be me some men are born / Who only merit wise men's scorn; / Who by mean acts well merit hate-- / Such is your kind and such your fate., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The ugly hatter stands at a table ironing top hats. "Gossamer" refers to the shellacked muslin pieces that shaped silk hats. "Swipes" is slang for copious drinking, and "logwood" is a type of dye. "Judy" is slang for a ridiculous woman, and the sender suggests that the recipient could only marry such a woman., Text: Ah, now I well know what it was that I smelt-- / 'Twas the bottle-nosed, rabbit-mouth'd dealer in felt. / Mother Judy might marry such fellows, but I / Detest such a dabbler in logwood and dye. / Thought your head is so big, 'tis of gossamer rig-- / All bloated and puff'd, like a measly pig. / Beastly swiller of swipes, what a picture is thine! / Bad luck to the girl who is your Valentine!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The hatter has a small body, pointed ears, and enlarged head, which the text mocks. He holds a large hat in front of a box that reads "Gossamers 419." "Gossamer" refers to the shellacked muslin pieces that shaped silk hats. There is an iron on top of it., Text: So proud of your flimsy stuff, / A sun and rain shed; / Go, make one hat big enough / To hide your own head., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Hatter sits at his work bench, blocking a hat. Scissors and a bowl labeled "glue" are on the table in front of him. "Hat factory" and "Spoli your hat while you wait. 50c." are written on the wall behind him. "Tile" is slang for hat. The valentine suggests the hats he makes are of poor quality., Text: When a fellow from you buys a tile / You pretend that you give him the style, / But he quickly finds out when he wears it about / That you’re full of deception and guile. / The shape's out of date, the goods are fifth rate, / And his looks make beholders all smile., Provenance: Helfand, William H..
A Union soldier reads a copy of "Hardee's Tactics," a manual popular during the Civil War. His uniform is patched, and he has sideburns and facial hair stubble. "Burnside" refers to Union General Ambrose Burnside, whose style of facial hair came to be known as sideburns., Text: Be dad, and I'm after an officer's place, / And I think I am just the bold boy, / That can show old Burnside the way to advance, / And give the whole country much joy., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Burnside, Ambrose Everett, 1824-1881., Provenance: Hardee, William Joseph, 1815-1873. Rifle and light infantry tactics
A man lies on his back with his arms and legs up and bottom facing towards the viewer. He wears ice skates, and the ice around him has cracked. Likening him to a coin, the sender rejects the recipient for landing with his tail up., Text: A game of chance, played with a nickel, / Suggested is by your pickle; / Head or tail! -- I'll watch and see, / If I your Valentine shall be. / The Tail is up! -- the Head is down! / Your doom is sealed, your fate is known -- / Heads lose -- Tails win-- the game is mine, / Go seek another Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man holds his hands to his heart. He wears a frock coat, bow-tie, and thin trousers. His hair is curled., Text: Quit your tricks, my young man, and quickly to wed, / Lead some charming young damsel to church; / No delight, you'll then take, our poor hearts to break / Then leave us alone in the lurch., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a small woman in a blue gown with puffed sleeves. She wears a hat with a large pink feather in it., Text: I am a Heart-breaker, / For men I don't care; / The best one shall never / Catch me in Love's snare., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman with crooked teeth wears a gown with furbelows and stands in front of a table with portaits of men. A picture behind her features a hammer hitting a heart., Text: O! gentle Heart-breaker, I fear you; / I'll not trust my head, lest you knock it: / No desire have I to be near you; / You shan't break my heart nor pocket., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits at a table with cards. A cat sits on the stool beside her. "Huffle" can mean long-winded talking. The cat's words suggest that the woman is wasting her time by trying to read her future in the cards., Text: “Hearts! At once, I plainly see, / It is hearts-ease meant for me; / Shall I gain my wish at last, / Ere my summer sun is past?” / Thus the dark one then replied, / Hovering by the lady’s side; / “Deal, my good lady, as you will, / You shuffle! And will huffle still.”, "182", Provenance: Helfand, William H..
"Miss Nancy" is a derogatory term for effeminate men. "Judy" is a derogatory term for women derived from the puppet show "Punch and Judy." The man holds a baby as the character Judy does, and the hooked-nose woman resembles Punch and shakes her fist at them. The valentine mocks the reversal of gender roles and criticizes timid husbands and controlling wives., Text: You perfect Judy -- you Miss Nancy -- / Just such a thing as your wife did fancy; / She wanted a man that she could handle; / You suited, for you're just the thing to dandle. / MORAL. -- He would be a woman's tool, / Will find himself a henpecked fool., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
