The valentine depicts a man in a sailor's uniform holding a glass in one hand and a "greenback," or a paper dollar bill, in the other. The sender rejects the recipient because of his promiscuity and drinking, which it connects with his love of money, specifically paper currency., Text: Loves nothing as well as a good greenback / Except it be his grog: / And the first he'll waste on the sauciest back, / On the second get drunk as a hog / Alack, Jolly Jack! / Why can't you leave off both women and wine? / Then I'd give you a kiss full of true love's bliss, / And ever call you my own Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The singer holds a sheet of music and his hand to his heart. Jullien refers to French conductor Louis Antoine Jullien. The sender mocks the recipient's poor singing., Text: No one would take you for a Jullien, Sir, / For such croaking never was heard, / Whenever I hear you it reminds me of---/ A carpenter sawing a board., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The stonecutter holds a mallet and chisel and stands in front of a large slab of stone which the text suggests is a sarcophagus. He sticks out his tongue and has sharp teeth., Text: What a sweet face is here display'd -- / To charm a young girl, a widow or maid, / Oh! St. Valentine, run away quick, / From this beauteous visage, that makes one sick. / Hammer away! my cutter of stones, / Be they for living or dead men's bones; / Ply the mallet and chisel-- look grim, / What will it matter for her or for him., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman standing on a city street. She wears a walking dress with short skirt that reveals her crinoline structure, legs, and petticoats. The valentine mocks the recipient's immodest deportment., Text: Oh! Gentle Lady, you know full well, / You care not for mud, but you'd cut a swell-- / A swell you make, if you could see, / You'd be ashamed, as well as we., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman in an ornate gown walks her small black dog., Text: You are my darling; don't I know / Why you are ogling ev'ry beau; / But all in vain, for who would be / Led like a puppy tied to thee., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "booby" looks down and holds his head. He has a round stomach, bald patches on his head, and long feet., Text: Search through the world above, below, / None half so senseless, well we know, / Can e'er be found, take every pains-- / For all things else have got some brains., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
An ice skater kicks out one leg and holds a cigarette and a "prize medal." The sender suggests that the recipient deserves a kick in the rear instead of a medal. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: With your kicks and your capers, / You are very small papers-- / The prize-medal you've taken, I find; / I'm in great doubt, whether / A medal of leather, / Wouldn't suit you far better behind-- / If you think it would suit, / From the toe of a boot, / You can have it, whenever your mind., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "contemptible man" wears a blue coat, red waistcoat, yellow trousers, and a black top hat, all of which appear too large for him. His fingers and eyebrows are sharply pointed. He stands by a table where yellow items are for sale (butter?). The text mocks him for his penny-pinching nature., Text: You're really so mean in all you attempt, / That failing, you meet with nought but contempt; / I really believe 'tis your constant endeavor / To make yourself small and meet scorn forever., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier runs from a bullet. He carries an empty sword sheath. He has a long white beard, many wrinkles, and open mouth. The term "Zoo Zoo" refers to the Zouave regiments in the Civil War., Text: Behold your coward self from bullets flying, / No fear that you in battle will be dying; / Your large mouth open, and teeth clattering with fear, / As the spent shots come whistling through the air. / Such cowardice friend Zoo Zoo, is a very sure sign, / That you cannot have me for your own Valentine., "510", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man with a pumpkin for a head holds a paper that reads "Some Pumpkin Esquire." "Pumpkin" is a derogatory term for an important person. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Gentle Squash-head, (don't be shocked), / Mind your eye, / Else some day you may be knocked / Into a pie., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The tinker holds tools and stands by a work bench. "Soft sawder" [i.e. solder ] is a slang term for manipulative flattery and originates from a cheap, easy, and less-durable form of joining metal., Text: RAGGEd wretch! of base-born metal-- / Filthy maker of the kettle, / You I can very plainly see / Can't come soft sawder over me. / Pipe-smoking, filthy, dirty sot, / Black as the kettle or the pot; / Most noisy slave, most tinkering brute, / My taste you surely ne'er will suit. / Go, go, you beast, and howl and whin[e]/ You ne'er will be my Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands with her hands on her hips and her nose turned up. She flexes her right arm. The woman has pox marks on her cheek. The valentine possibly alludes to sexually transmitted diseases., Text: See what results from passion vile! / Look on this face, what ravage! / Let those beware, who would defile / Their natures like this savage., Cf. Valentine 9.47., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The German American, or Pennsylvanian Deutsch, soldier holds a pot marked "Krout" and wears a Union uniform. His cap is marked "Commissariat," and he has a long white beard., Text: Poor soldiers have mighty few thigns to be merry at, / When fed from the hands of a Dutch commissariat; / Krout for their breakfast, and their dinners, and teas, / And now and then scraps of bad Limburger cheeses. / So go, red-necked Dutchman, you ne'er can be mine, / You never were meant for a sweet Valentine., "505", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a man with a duck bill [?] wearing a large hat. He rings a bell, perhaps like a town crier. The text suggests that he is trying to sell himself., Text: My fair lady I've just come out / With noisy sound of bell, / To try to find a purchaser / To whom myself to sell., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman hikes up her skirt, revealing her crinoline and petticoats. "Ducky" is a term of endearment, and "kiver" is a dialect for "cover." "Timbers" refers to her legs and suggests that they are indelicately large. The sender mocks the recipient for her careless immodesty., Text: Hey ducky dumpling, gazing high, / Parading in your t'others, / We look less high, and there we spy, / 'Till laughing almost smothers. / However cold may be your liver, / Such timbers, ducky, ne'er can shiver. / Especially with, such hoops to kiver., Cf. 4.50., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman has a bell for a head and a long bell-clapper for a tongue. The sender criticizes the recipient for talking excessively., Text: Ding, dong, all the day long, / Your tongue is not quiet a minute; / No wonder it is that it rings like a gong, / For we know that your head has nought in it., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The "daughter of the D---" holds a broom in one hand and a set of large tongs in the other. Her hair is wiry, and her face is pointed with lizard-like tongue and sharp teeth., Text: If all God e'er made was good, / Some things like you we find most evil; / And we must think, at least we should, / That you're the offspring of the D----., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a gown with furbelows and holds her nose up. A peacock stands next to her. The sender rejects the recipient because of her vanity., Text: With head in air, and peacock pride, / So vain and empty, loving show; / On you the gentle name of bride, / I certainly would not bestow., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a large-chested man walking in a field. He holds a top hat., Text: You conceited old fogie, with face of Brass, / By nature intended for an ass; / But ape the Biped of two-legged kind, / With stomach, all a bag of wind. / Seek for thy wife in Afies clime, / And be her faithful Valentine., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The belle's dress is bell-shaped. She carries a parasol. The valentine uses slang, and it emphasizes that the belle is very talkative and uses such slang., Text: My parents named me Is-a-bel, / And fashion says I be a belle; / My clatt'ring tongue thumpbump pell-mell, / The same to every ear will tell; / Now see my flounces cut a swell, / Now hear the jingle, ding, dong, bell., Cf. Valentine 8.37 and Valentine 12.34., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A girl sits holding a book marked "grammar." A picture of a man is tucked inside of the book., Text: Spell Cat, my chubby little imp -- / "M A N, Cat," replied the girl -- / Thus, just as soon as they can limp, / Their thoughts, like flowers, to love impart., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The smirking conductor wears a green uniform and red cap. The valentine criticizes him for paying too much attention to a woman passenger., Text: O! gallant Conductor, pray don't think us blind, / We saw you conduct her with airs so refined; / Pray alter your conduct, or proceed with care, / Your quite too attentive collecting your fair., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The angry woman beats her philandering lover with a broom as he lies across her lap. A speech bubble by her head reads " HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH THE SERVANT?" as he cries, "Oh! Oh!" The man is contorted and the woman appears larger than him, which makes him look childlike, and her appear domineering., Text: It's evident my angry fair, / Whate'er your wrongs, how much you (bare) bear / Tho' I would rather not be sharing / My lot with on who's so for-bareing: / Such wives as thee who ever's got 'em, / Will find they're very hard at BOTTOM! / So I for my part would decline, / Such a very striking Valentine., Variant of Valentine 1.19, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts the bust of a man with rounded features and curly hair. He wears a green coat and necktie. His forehead is labeled "impudence", and he sucks air out of a yellow bag labeled "bag of wind.", Text: Some are pinched the wind to raise, / But you've enough to blow your praise, / While such a bag of wind you share, / You cannot die for want of air., Cf. 1.28., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a tea pot over her head to throw it., Text: In Hymen's noose to hang myself, / My earnest only wish is, / But I'd ne'er wed one who when mad, / Would break my head and dishes., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A child's nurse holds an infant, and a young boy stands next to her and waves. She wears an apron, bonnet, and dress, and she sticks out her tongue., Text: A gay jolly soldier I always delight in, / He's ready for dancing, or singing, or fighting; / But when ladies essay it, I firmly decline, / As I see you have joined the infant-ry line., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union calvalryman rides a donkey. He has a sword and spurs. The valentine suggests that his appearance does not match his abilities., Text: Ha, ha! don't you think you're brave? / No officer e'er looked bolder / But, all who march with you, / Think the asses head should be upon your shoulder., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A Union soldier stands at attention and holds his musket and bayonet. A "regular" soldier refers to a member of the standing army. The sender rejects the recipient because of the restrictions he would place on his wife and the "regular," or boring lifestyle it would result in., Text: My love is a regular man -- / A man with a regular way; / He means to regulate me -- if he can, / When he gets his regular pay. / But I'll be no regular's wife, / No! no! not for all creation; / For who could enjoy married life, / When bound to a mere regulation., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman holds a whip and stands over a fallen man. Her hair forms horns., Text: You ugly, cross and wrinkled shrew, / You advocate of woman's rights, / No man on earth would live you, / For fear of endless fights., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman has devil horns and a tail, and her face and hair are blackened. She points to a fire., Text: Faces may be fair and round, / Tongues may be soft and clear; / But hearts when black, unmask'd are found / As I have pictur'd here., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman ice skates, and the wind blows up her skirt to reveal her ankles., Text: The naughty breeze! I mean no evil, / With female skirts does raise the devil -- / All pretty girls must skating go, / But do not like their legs to show-- / That is-- and here the dart most rankles, / If they, like you, have crooked ancles [i.e. ankles]. / What is revealed, makes me decline / To be to you a Valentine., Cf. Valentine 13.5., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands in front of a store counter, holding his wallet and a dollar bill. A purse is on display, and coins are on the counter. A clerk with a box in his hand smiles at the man., Text: A fool and his money is soon parted you know; / And when once it is started, it's bound for to go; / Then beware my young man, take a hint in good time, / Or before very long you'll have nary a dime., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman sits in a chair and holds a handkerchief., Text: Pray clear thy brow of clouds and care, / And banish Melancholy, / Or you will find when 'tis too late, / That all of it was folly., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands next to a cat with a visible ribcage. He holds an egg and a knife in one hand and a pouch in the other., Text: You nasty, stingy, saving cur, / You'd shave an egg to get its fur; / I'll surely have small taste to abide / A man who'd skin a flea to get its hide., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a frog in a man's suit., Text: Your pretty vest of spotless white, / And coat of brightest green, / Would make you as neat a bridegroom, / As ever I have seen., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a deck of cards, dice, dice cup, and a wine goblet with a snake in it., Text: There's mischief in both card and dice, / Or goblet, filled to brim; / The're [i.e. they're] only tricks made by Old Nick, / To draw men down to him., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A washerwoman stands next to a bucket of "bleeding hearts" and pins hearts onto a clothes-line. Her dress billows up in the back. Behind her is a tub labeled "cold water" and a container labeled "soft soap." The valentine references the water cure movement. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Ho! all ye lovers pale and wan, / Who of your bleeding hearts complain, / For you my trade I carry on / And from soiled hearts remove each stain. / Come one, come all!-- hearts smoothed and pressed / And safely folded in the Chest., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A frowning man wears a red waistcoat and a green frock coat. The valentine mocks the recipient for being large and deficient., Text: Believe me when I say I've always thought / That you were simply nothing -- a big naught; / I'd like to know what 't'is you want a wife for, / For she would nothing gain except a cypher., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
Having fallen while ice skating, a woman sits on the ice with her crinoline and petticoats revealed. She gestures toward a sign which reads "ice cream." The punning text misconstrues her interest in ice cream as a statement regarding her predicament on the ice. The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: You shiver and howl-- to move you dread, / You're game for all deriders, / Your balance gone and your thin legs spread, / Like a pair of drunk dividers. / "I scream!" you shriek in anguish'd tone, / A more summary plan you require; / Take off your skates and stay at home, / Knit stockings in front of the fire., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman stands next to her bed and holds up a blanket. Her low-cut gown reveals part of her breasts, and her crinoline tilts back to reveal her petticoats. The sender rejects the recipient, and the valentine connects lazy women with immodesty., Text: Crawling out at ten o'clock, / Hurry girl, put on your frock / You're a sleepy head I see, / So you'll never do for me., Cf. Valentine 3.39., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A ice skating woman with her legs turned in flails her arms to regain her balance. Her skirt billows up to reveal her legs. The border features a woman embracing a man; the pair resemble Commedia dell'arte characters. At the bottom is a pack of matches marked "Lucifer's matches.", Text: Though puggy of nose and void of grace, / Lanky of limb -- in feature wan; / The thought with each must have a place, / That something you are like the swan. / Ask not of me the reason why, / 'Tis breathed upon the chilly wind; / 'Tis echo'd by the skater's cry, / "A Swan! see, down on her behind!", Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman points her nose up and holds a small parasol. The valentine mocks the recipient for being a social climber., Text: Just as a mushroom from a bed / Of marshy vileness rears its head, / Distilling poison to the touch, / So you appear, and worth as much., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman has a large, heart-shaped torso labelled "Poor man's plaster," "fly blister," and "mustard." She holds a bottle marked "Soothing syrup." The border shows cupids and hearts; one cupid shoots a heart out of a thimble cannon labeled "Love"; another cupid travels with a heart in a hot-air balloon; and another cupid hammers at a cracked heart below a heart on a fishhook labeled "Caught.", Text: Ever crying, dying, sighing, / O'er affections trifled with, / Here's a nostrum worth your trying, / It is one containing pith. / Pour a pint of Bourbon whisky / O'rr your lacerated heart, / If it doesn't make you frisky / Certainly 't will make you Smart!, Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The first line quotes from Charles Carroll Sawyer's sentimental Civil War ballad, "When this cruel war is over." The valentine shows a Union soldier lighting his cigarette from a bomb as bombs fly in the background behind him. The border features matches, a heart-shaped beet, and cherubs playing tennis and tug o' war. The label on the matchbox reads "Red-headed matches go off easy," and the beet is marked "D.B." [i.e. "dead beat" or "dead beet"]., Text: "When this cruel war is over," And our noble Volunteers / home return to live in clover / Shan't we have good times, my dears? Honor to the heroes, who by / Their brave deeds us captivate, / Thank of all the kisses ruby / That upon their coming wait!, Variant of 2.9 and 2.10., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector., Provenance: Sawyer, Charles Carroll, b. 1833. When this cruel war is over.
A man wears a jacket with "USA" printed on it. He stands in front of a gravestone. Another man sits at a table with a glass and decanter on it., Text: That Northern man that so much honor lacks / That he would stab his brethren in their backs, / Is worse by far than he who boldly fights / Against his country, e'en for fancied rights., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A man stands next to a lamppost. He has dirt on his face and shirt., Text: You are perfectly disgusting with paltry dirty ways, / You skulk about the house, and along the highways, / You are a sloven and a slouch, a lible on the race, / You've a ragged suit of clothes, and a dirt, dingy face., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine depicts a dry goods clerk standing behind a counter. A much smaller woman faces him. A pair of gloves and bolt of fabric are on the counter. "Tin" is slang for money, and the sender mocks the recipient's financial status, suggesting that he would have to steal from the till to have enough money for a proper Valentine offering., Text: Just brains enough to measure tape, / And base enough to lie; / You're born to measure calico, / And leer in Woman's eye. / But when I want a Valentine, / I'll call and let you know, / That you may steal enough of "tin," / To make a proper show., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a woman sewing a dress. Both the woman's dress and the one she sews have red bodices and yellow skirts, but the one she sews has a lower neckline and shorter sleeves. The sender mocks the recipient for her status as a single woman., Text: My ugly old maid, how sad is your lot, / To work on some fine wedding gown, / And know all the while, live as long as you may, / You'll never have one of your own., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
The valentine shows a man with a waxed moustache, glasses, and a top hat. He stands in front of a man and woman. The valentine mocks the lounger for his unattractive idleness, superficial criticism of others, and transparent attempts to be near women., Text: Lounger! ambling 'round the places / Where the ladies congregate, / Critic of their forms and faces; / By them despised, you silly pate., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.
A woman wears a tapered, bustled, ruffled skirt that forces her to bend forward in the Grecian Bend. She holds a small parasol and wears a hat. The valentine mocks the recipient for thinking her fashionable dress is attractive to men. The Grecian Bend style of bustle became popular after 1869., Text: A slave to Fashion's tyrant laws, / You court each silly fop's applause; / Did you but know what I can see, / How shocked, I fancy, you would be. / You will, I hope, leave off this style, / Your dress provokes a pitying smile., Provenance: McAllister, John A. (John Allister), 1822-1896, collector.